Greetings,
I didn’t see this yesterday or I would have replied sooner…
My name is 9Shadows… Because I live in the Shadows, and no one sees the bright happy person before them, for who I truly am.
“The dark keeps me! And there is where I want to be kept” (by me)
Looks do not judge, yet so many do just that. So I am often misunderstood by my light, happy, personality. Not that I’m not happy, I am, usually finding the glass half full, and trying to see the bright side, even when times are tough. Still, inside, there is this pull from the dark, and it’s the only place I truly feel peace, hiding in the shadows and living my magickal life privately.
I barely figured out how to get my bat photo up on my profile so adding a photo will have to come later, this is my first ever forum, so I’m just trying to learn the basics. —It’s starting to come together… 
I’m a fairly optimistic person, and love helping people. Sometimes I come across badly, due to my poor English (I often say English is my 2nd language), just so people will be more forgiving of my typos, or speech. lol. I basically had no formal education, and self taught myself, after a pretty crappy childhood “won’t get into that”, I began learning to read and write in my late teens, and then I started writing, and I haven’t stopped. I’ve written over 10 books, “just romance books” - Vampire romance! lol. Don’t laugh too hard… haha I self published before Twilight was ever released, so I didn’t jump on that bandwagon, and my vampires don’t sparkle!! … I just love all things vampire, I always have. I have thought about writing occult books, but as of yet have not attempted it. Note: My English at times will seem great, and others not so great, this is for lack of a loving friend not being around to edit my posts… lol
I have been practicing magick for 15 years now, Witchcraft, Wicca, (they are not the same thing (well to me at least)), Hoodoo, and some Voodoo… This “new path here” is not a path I ever considered, for the simple reason I never came across anything to do with it before, I’ve heard of Satanism before, but not Demonolatry, but either way, never thought one way or the other about it, as I don’t like to judge things without the correct version first. The enemy viewpoint is rarely accurate, as was my experience with voodoo. I ordered a book which mentioned the King of Solomon Seals, --in a way I had never seen before, from a Hoodoo book I was reading, which led me to buy and read through different books, each book taking me deeper on my quest, not certain what I was looking for but knowing it was something. Finally, I found myself reading another book, and this word, which I didn’t know and had never seen before sorta jumped off the page; of course I just read over it, but something inside of me, even three pages later, kept whispering to go back to the word, after a few more minutes I skimmed back to find the word and just sorta stared at the word for bit, (Lemegeton) before setting it down to google it, to find out what it meant, and why it seemed to be speaking to me. I skim over words I don’t know all the time (or I’d live inside of a dictionary), which lead me to YouTube and eventually to here. This one word seemed to change everything for me, —as I’m on this forum and this new path…
(From the first book, to the ones that followed, to this site, happened in the space of a month)…
Christianity ties you to their God Source by following their rules.
Wicca, does the same thing, you still have to follow their rules, though it’s more liberating then Christianity, it’s still a form of control – “do this” for example and the rule of three will bite you in the ass. Personally I can’t see some ancient pagan worrying about the rule of three, so this never made much sense to me, but without any other source I would take what I could get. Anything was better than Christianity. I have friends that are Christians, so no offense to them, if it makes them happy that’s all well and good, I just don’t want to be defined by it.
My current goal is to find my way into this ascension on E.A.'s site. I’m not one to give up - so even though I’m experiencing some failures with this new method, I will not give up! I find it ironic too, as my grandmother actively messed with spirits who actively messed back, and she loved it. I have had paranormal activity surrounding me all of my life, and I too, love it! My parents used to bring me to priests to remove the evil spirits surrounding me about every six months, but after I was an adult I stopped getting these blessings, as I don’t see communicating with spirits as evil. My family is from the deep south, --so what is, is. The ironic part is that I’ve felt evil/darkness before, and now that I’m trying to actively feel it’s presence, it’s as though it’s eluding me, I’m following the online course outline I ordered, and reading the two books as well. I stop after each suggestion, feeling I should master that area before moving on. I want to really invest my energy into each area. I’m looking forward to my first ritual, I believe without doubt in the paranormal and it’s power, no convincing needed there. I’m sure I’ll have hurdles, but the excitement is raw and exhilarating - beyond my first trip into the occult.
I wonder if my failure is based on my pushing this dark source away for so many years, and now that I’m reaching for it - it’s some karmic joke. lol… I’m sure it will pass though…
I’m trying to learn to skry… So far, just the mirror is going white, and an image of three playing cards which was really fast and fleeting happened once, but that’s a good start… I have been astral projecting all of my life, only on purpose for the past 10 years, but I don’t have success all of the time, so it’s a current goal to work through. Strengthening my ability to talk with spirits is another goal, but more important right now is learning the new goal of moving past spirits and talking with demons, angels, gods. I know once I pick this up, I’ll be really good at it, so it’s an exciting goal to work toward. I’m thinking of doing the boot camp program, just to get me started faster, plus it really seems like an awesome opportunity.
Okay, I love to write. I guess that’s out of the bag after this post. I’m glad I’m on this forum and look forward to sharing in our successes and failures as we learn and ascend, and to those who have advanced, thanks for your support in helping us newbees out
9Shadows
