Being possessed, My experience

To start off this is a document I wrote to explain how it felt. If you aren’t interested in reading it scroll until you see, STOP HERE FOR MY STORY. Thank you.

You mistook Her apathy as sarcasm. Whenever She spoke She always talked about the obvious. Her unquiet mind always pointing out the ordinary. She was critical of others. Pointing out their flaws, to the point that Her cruelty stung even you, despite not being the object of Her ire. Critical in Her observations, She was cruel, but She was yours. At first She was a friend, then a companion, and last your love.

Her aspirations were your own. She’d devoted herself to aiding you. Sacrificed so much for your sake, fallen from grace and shunned to justify a noble cause. Dark nightmares that plagued you were changed into amazing dreams. She wanted for you to be so much more than you were. She demanded that you do better, be better. Faster, stronger, smarter. But you were never good enough. Before you knew it, darkness clung to you, like tar. The burning sensation of embarrassment, anger, and failure followed you. Never leaving you. You stayed there letting it drag you down. Like quicksand, until you were nearly suffocating.

You demeaned yourself, hurt yourself, because your failures never left you scars. Never left reminders. So you began. It hurt…to scar yourself, but it felt absolving. The right thing to do, to hurt, it helped numb the mental pain of your wants. Your single goal that was always out of reach. And in these dark places. She was there for you, lifting you out of the black and bottomless void. Clearing you of your doubts, your sorrow. She was your personal savior. Her determination…your dream. Your goal, She embodied it.

Whenever you needed to talk, She would. You would speak for hours, early in the morning. The middle of the day. Late into the night. Flawless, incapable of failure. She changed you. She shared in your dreams, shouldered you burdens, and sheltered your being. You were in debt to Her. And so you devoted yourself.

With soft words and deft hands she weaved a virulent tapestry. From the bloody cloth of innocence and naivete. Tearing the cloth to form new threads upon her loom. Each syllable carefully crafted, finely wrought for a greater design. Lies upon deceits, upon treacheries. Laced by the hand of an artist, the ebb and flow of Her voice weaving wretched string back and forth. Warped by the machinations of a skilled artisan. The hypnotic motions of the loom, soothing and comforting. Twisting, binding soft strands into constricting rope. Tying you sweetly to the ground of ignorance. With poisons that She pours into your ear, whispering like a lover that, “It is honey and butter”.

Her embrace is close, arms wrapped around your neck, from behind she traces along your veins and chest all the way to your heart that is pounding. She stops her hand upon it, feeling the unsteady and fluttering beats. As puncturing Agony is mistaken for penetrating Ecstasy She returns to her art. Twining thoughts into actions, transforming simplicities and amenities into intricacies and necessities. All from Her loom. Taking, your supple skin for thread, your warm blood for dye, and your firm bone for needles She continues her macabre embroidery. The design is a malignant beauty. Webs that have cradled you in their comforting and unbreakable snare form the outline of your delectable final doom. Your pale, drained skin stretched, torn, and spun anew form the immaculate image upon her masterpiece. The natural form of man. Laid bare, naked, unashamed, unrestrained, unraveled. With a ravening wolf’s head. Upon this facade he is posed consuming the flesh of all. Infants, children, women, and men. Her tapestry finished, she drenches her creation in your crimson blood, dying and sanctifying her vicious mockery of creation.

Born anew as Her prisoner, She kisses you, soft lips that bear the taste of summer honeysuckle envelop you in warmth and contentment. Now and forevermore you are no longer your own. But owned by Her. Seen as two, joined as one. You cannot speak as the tickling caress of Her tongue is within your throat. The heat of Her makes you tense.You cannot move as she is riding you. Violently and passionately, reveling in the euphoria of domination. You cannot think as She racks your brain with Her claw-like nails. Subdued, you are helplessly enamoured in bliss. Her breath comes heavy with exertion and hot with excitement. The teasing and flirtatious games are over.

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If you’ve read this far, thank you. So far this would be my first post. So this is new to me. What you’ve just read above is an overview of what my possession was like. Euphoric, Endearing, and very Unique, I feel. My possession wasn’t actually a female, but I wrote it as such becuase I felt I could better illustrate it this way. My possession lasted five, almost six years total. Until I had the spirit expelled from my body. Willingly… At the time it seemed to be the right move, even though having a spirit with you seems interesting (Depending on how you view possession and the nature of how it progresses) it is also very wearying. Now while most possessions might be an actual loss of control, of your body, mind,etc. My possession (which I will now substitute with pos) was more symbiotic, a relationship that was like an oath between two people striving towards a similar goal, a partnership even. This spirit was male, upon meeting the being we formed a bond and worked toward the goal of attaining the physical transformation of Lycanthropy. His name was Orphalax. (Pronunciation: Or-fa-lax, if anyone has information on this spirit I would be very grateful) I formed my bond with him at the young age of 18, only expelling him late last year. The 29th of December, 2019 to be exact. Now as to how the possession occurred. It will require some backstory. I have another document I’m going to add with a TL:DR.

Ok, so my story starts when I was ten.It was a frigid winter night, I had been at a friends, but it was late in my small town of Preston, Idaho. About 10:30, (Yeah, not too much supervision as a kid) So I started on my way home. It was about half a mile away, no lights were on my way home. Due to the fact of the road that I was walking along led to the countryside and to a bar out of town. But it was a full moon so I had enough light to see my way. Despite knowing the way home anyway. I walked, bundled up and tired. On my way there, I felt like I was being followed. I spun around…nothing. I walked a little faster just wanting to get home. It was dark and I didn’t want to be out much longer. I continued on and the nagging feeling pulled at me harder and harder until it was unbearable. My heart skipped and beat and seemed to stop. Even before I laid eyes on what had followed me. I felt the gaze pierce me like a spear. It stopped me in my tracks. A cold and dead stop, completely. I turned slowly, and thirty feet away from me, crouched on the road was a werewolf. It was five feet tall, standing, probably six and a half to seven feet tall, it was muscular, with curved claws, midnight black fur on end, two ears folded back, it was alert. I couldn’t see any eyes, but I could FEEL them. It let out two long foggy breaths. I was frozen, by the cold and what was before me. I was a deer in headlights, I didn’t dare have my heart beat. For fear that it would move if it heard me. It clearly saw me, had been stalking me. Reality slammed back hard, brought me back to the nightmarish present. I didn’t take my eyes off of my soon-to-be killer. A car was coming down the abandoned highway that led to the countryside. The headlights were on full, highlighting the silhouette of the beast, accentuating the fur. It moved, I was stunned, it looked back at the car, then me, again at the car, but the last look was more of a glance It gave an exhale that came out as a guttural bestial groan. It took another breath, shaking its head it waited. The car was closer, seconds before the car was going to hit it the werwolf turned, leaped fifteen feet and took two long strides on all-fours, another bound, and jump to scale an abandoned and derelict auto shop, before disappearing into the nearby woods. I was still paralyzed, terrified, and awestruck all at once. The driver was about to pass me, when time slowed, I saw the driver’s face. It said, “What the hell was that?”. My adrenaline began to flow, I ran the rest of the way home and since then I became obsessed with, what I believe to be one of my near-death experiences.I wholeheartedly believe that if that car hadn’t come along, I would not be here today.It would have been easy, a leaping pounce, crushing my chest and ribcage. No chance to scream, then a quick mauling of the back to bleed out the victim.The thing that haunts me the most about the encounter is that it thought. It looked at me, then the car. It shook its damn head, weighing the risk. Whether to kill me and be spotted, even though it already had been, or leave. That’s what freaks me out, it was aware, of its self, and its actions. Not some bloodthirsty, rampaging animal like many movies portray them.
So three years later, I was thirteen. I had done as much research as I could, the internet, books, legends, mythologies. Everything. So I knelt to pray. (Mind you, I was still very religious and “strong” in my faith at the time) I prayed for God to make me a werewolf when I turned fifteen. (Forgive me, I was a foolish child and we all have our cringe moments)
Why? You may ask? Of the top three things I hate in this world, one of them would be physical limitations, specifically my own. I’m never Strong enough, fast enough, I can never jump the distance, I can never lift myself from the edge. I’m never enough. And to abandon it, even temporarily, would be exhilarating. And that thought of being unstoppable and breaking the chains and escaping this THING that we call bodies would be euphoric. So that aside, when I turned fifteen, no I didn’t transform, blah, blah, blah. BUT, I did receive something, or someone, for that matter. A guide, His name was Orphalax, he is another spirit in my body. A guide and avatar (a manifestation of a deity or released soul in bodily form on earth; an incarnate divine teacher.) of my goal. He speaks to me and I to him. I don’t hear his voice. But he emits emotions that translate into words. He came about when I had been talking to an old friend. Basically discussing our occult research. My friend asked, “How close are you?” And within me, the few times I’ve physically heard him speak, He (Orphalax) said, " Near is he if he holds to his path."I was blown away. Speechless, immediately I got off my bed and knelt. I outstretched my hand for him to shake.

Fact: Just like the law of gravity, or judicial law if that makes it easier to understand, in our realm, the physical. There are laws in the spiritual realm that must be followed, just like we have laws like against murder and such. One such law of the spirit realm is that if a hand is stretched outward, they MUST SHAKE IT. So there are three types of reactions. A messenger will tell you he/she cannot shake your hand, deliver their message immediately, then leave. A recently resurrected being will be able to shake your hand. And a demon or other evil spirit will attempt to shake your hand, but pass through it, leaving a cold feeling. NOTE: I have not experienced summoning myself, but at that point it may be different as you are tethering yourself to that spirit in order to make contact and either speak or ask them for assistance.

I had prayed to God (Again, very religious at this time, nothing wrong with that, just differing idealogies) mmediately asking if this spirit meant me harm. The feeling, my answer I received said no. So I knelt hand outstretched. And asked for the spirit’s name. He responded Orphalax…" (Pronunciation: Or-fa-lax) I asked why he was here and what his purpose was, he became irritated, but also amused and answered solemnly, " You ask of what you already know. You have asked God who I am and my intent, have you not? My name is Orphalax… and I am the stepping stone to your ascension. I have been sent to assist you in your dangerous, but divine purpose as God has deemed it worthy and higher than most." I was frozen, he knew what I had asked God. In addition, months before, I had failed in my promise to God, the deal was I would do my best to be holy, then be blessed with Lycanthropy. I wasnt holy. So I prayed, and the answer I received was to repent and God would give to me, “the stepping stone to your ascent”. No one else could have known that. I hadn’t event told my friend of that. As he had been telling me his name and purpose I felt a paw meet my hand, transform into a hand, paw mix with curved sharp claws. Grasp my hand firmly and shake it. Upon contact, the palm of my hand became hot, as the contact and handshake continued it began to heat up, starting warm, warmer, hot, hotter, burning, then searing, not painful, but nearly uncomfortable. I felt him enter through our point of contact, then deep into my abdomen. He spread out through my arms, legs, and peered out from my eyes. My hand fell, no longer holding anything physical. But the burning sensation remained slowly cooling.( Peering from eyes is figurative of course, everything else…literal)

TL:DR: Had a close encounter with a werewolf, almost died, became obsessed with them, wanted to become a werewolf, prayed to God to become a werewolf. Met spirit. Spirit explains that it is here to assist me in achieving Lycanthropy. Shakes hand and enters my body.

After receiving Orphalax. My senses became slightly augmented. Mostly Hearing and Smell. In addition, Mental shifting became practically effortless, but I could only hold it for short durations. Our relationship continued with progress along the way. Every day he added small changes that were related to physical shifting. He spoke to me on a daily basis. What was a spiritual event that changed my life. Became natural, being possessed WAS normal. To have another being, with their own original thoughts and consistently speak with you. It was normal. Over the years, I became more attuned to Orphalax. As I attuned I was finally able to see Orphalax manifest within my mind. He was a pure white wolf, except his forehead had a pattern of fur that formed a black diamond. His eyes were composed of bright white energy that poured out and trailed off slightly. (I’ll post a pic, to make that easier to understand) With his manifestation I began to hear him speak to me more, but physically within my mind. As this progressed I had…side effects emerge. Bouts and feelings of uncontrollable rage, like a maelstrom or hurricane within me. Homicidal thoughts and thoughts of cruelty towards others. Burning searing pain of my eyes, then resulting in sharper vision. Head splitting headaches that felt like an ice pick was piercing my skull. And at one point even night vision (I’m not even joking or exaggerating) Orphalax always pushed me to be more “ascetic” as he put it. Almost monk-like. As time progressed I did eventually fully attune to Orphalax. Where we could merge our minds and souls to become one being. All, but our bodies. To merge our minds and souls, it felt like becoming very bestial, but retaining human intellect. Being fully aware and coherent of your actions, but unable to understand human speech. It blots it out and all you focus on is your surroundings. When attuned the slight augments heightened even further and new augments were also gained. Strength, speed, agility, reflexes, and a burst of adrenaline. Nothing superhuman by any means, but definitely noticeable. Lastly, I had noticed that as time passed, from the initial possession, my eye color was actually changing from brown to a hazel, and finally amber and then gold. Currently it is amber with gold rims surrounding my pupil. Since the expulsion I have not experienced any loss of the augments recieved nor has my eye reverted or begun to revert back to its previous state. And with that, we are back to the present. I truly want to still achieve Lycanthropy, but I feel now that without Orphalax I’ve pushed myself farther away from my goal. And I am thinking of possibly calling upon him again and binding my body to him again, if possible. I’m just not sure. That brings me to the end of my post. I know that was long. But hopefully you found it intriguing, if nothing else. If you have questions feel free to ask. You can PM me as well


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