Who should I work with to turn lust to love?

Been sexting with a guy who is sexually crazy about me and sees me as just a fwb but I’ve developed feelings for him and want him to see me as more than a fuck buddy.

Who should I work with?


Also, I should add he is married but it’s more a marriage of convenience.

I honestly didn’t mean to fall for him at first and now I just compare all guys to him and they never seem to match up.

this is gonna end bad.




First off…

Introduce yourself properly as is required by the forum…

Second, have some respect for yourself, I cannot think that it is any what rewarding that someone purely uses you for sex as opposed to a fulfilling relationship(not judging you, just giving an opinion)

Third… The man is married, and you tote it like it’s some kind of game???You want it to be more…

He doesn’t see you more than a good squeeze… Look between the lines here gal…

Like @Maxwell said… This will only end bad.

Why do I get the feeling Dantalion is already involved?

Welcome @iasked It is a rule of this forum for all new members to properly introduce themselves, so PLEASE CLICK ON THE IMAGE BELOW and tell us about yourself and any experience you may have in magick, such as what you practice, how long you have practiced, areas of interest, etc:


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That’s what he tells you in order to string you along. If someone really wanted to leave their marriage, no amount of convenience would keep them there. I’m not a licensed professional so I’m not going to lecture you about messing with a married person…

…but I will say you will have to break their bond in order for him to even consider being with you. Like I told someone else inna different thread, you can send all the lust or love spirits you want to someone, and they’ll probably do their job, which is to incite lust or develop love…but it doesn’t mean anything is he doesn’t act on those feelings…if he is bound to his wife thru marriage and feels like he can’t leave her for whatever reason or excuse, maybe he feels guilty for cheating but can’t stop, then you’ll just continue to be his FWB.

If you really feel ready to break up a marriage and possibly a family then just search the forum for “break up” work, and go from there.

I’m not here to judge, just stating reality…


Why? I haven’t done anything yet.

Convenience or not they have vows. Do you have permission from the significant other? If not you really should just back off. I highly doubt it’s worth suffering for everyone involved. Maybe you need to work on yourself, I can link you to some great sources on shadow work if you need.

Manipulating his feelings while someone else is holding them isn’t going to end well for either of you. Energetically and psychologically he is not available. If being his ‘fuck buddy’ is hurting your feelings maybe you need to reflect and see if this is doing more harm than good.

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I didn’t plan on catching feelings, I mean he’s 30 years older than me and I didn’t know about the wife and kids till much later. I’m not excusing myself but I didn’t plan for it to be like this.

Before you make any more posts @iasked, please do as you were requested to do and properly introduce yourself. It is a rule of this forum and required.

Tell his wife

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Ask yourself, do you want to stay in this situation?

If not, then do a cut and clear, or whatever to forget him and move on.

If yes, then again, search the forum for something that suits you and good luck :woman_shrugging:t6:

“We 're getting divorced” “We aren’t happy” anything of the like.

Things cheaters say. You’re the “other woman” and there will always be another woman with him.

Simple as that. This never ends well. Even if you “win” you will lose big time because if he will do it with you… he’ll do it to you. Trust me i’ve been with cheaters. It’s like a drug to them. Don’t be the “pill”.

I would just walk away from this one. His wife is being hurt enough as well as his kids. You really want someone like that?? You do you but trust me, you will not get any fairytale ending. I don’t believe in law of three or anything but this won’t end well for anyone.

Best of luck


Dittoing what everyone else said here I am SURE you can do better than this guy. Why not use magick to get a husband of your own that you know isn’t already married.

If you’re still hell bent the first thing you need to really be doing is strong break up work on his current relationship. Doing things to turn his mind against his wife and marriage. If the kids are why he’s attached there doing things to maybe even turn his mind from his kids. I will say you have your work cut out for you.

Thanks for all the replies everyone. I’m going to try and distance myself from this situation and see how it goes. I don’t want to have to keep working love spells just to get someone to love me, in the long run I’ll be lying to myself.


Logically I know that but right now I’m fighting my own emotions.

Will magick still work if you’re in love with someone else and pining for them instead of being open to whoever comes your way?

Who would you recommend to work with to find a stable relationship and also, maybe to cut feelings for a person.

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Aside from the helpful advice everyone has already offered, could I just say, “Nice call, OP”! Being aware and recognizing the truth of the situation, even though it IS heartbreaking and difficult, is already a step towards the right direction. While I agree there are really times when you just cannot help who you have feelings for, you can, ultimately, choose/decide how to act (or not act) on them. And even though it’s still a long way to go, kudos to you for making the decision to step back! :slight_smile:

I honestly don’t think so. Magick’s effectiveness/success depends on the practitioner’s intentions, emotions and such. And while it’s good that you are now considering potential new options (I was actually quite concerned when I read in your original post about comparing other people to this man, as it would prove a very unhealthy habit in the long run if not resolved), I would just like to ask: why the immediate focus on others? Cliche as it is, isn’t this more of a time you should focus on yourself? Not only for processing and healing from the heartbreak, but also truly ask and get in touch with yourself. The situation could be turned into an opportunity to learn important lessons from, or at least that’s what I’ve seen in similar experiences throughout part-time work as an intuitive tarot reader and counselor in the past lol. For starters, why do you seek emotionally unavailable connections? Why do you feel seemingly most satisfied/attracted to a person who you are aware of cannot fully reciprocate the love you’re more than willing to keep pouring out? How do you see/define/feel about your self-worth? and other questions you can only answer yourself. It’s okay if you don’t answer those here at all. I just hope said answers provide you with clarity and inspiration for further introspection and improvement if needed.

And that’s what makes the situation harder, I think? May I suggest not “fighting” the emotions but instead letting yourself feel them and finding healthy alternatives to deal with them instead so you can, gradually, release said emotions? :slight_smile: It could be a simple jog in the park, making art out of it, letting yourself binge on your favorite book/show, etc. Sometimes IMO, there’s no magickal tip or cure for the heartbreak. You just gotta face the emotions and ugly-cry it all out lol. Also, now may be a good time to reach out to families, friends, other loved ones or a similar-minded/supportive community to remind yourself that: (1) You are not alone and; (2) Romantic and sexual love is not the end all be all of love, nor is it the end all be all of you. I sincerely think your romantic and/or sexual experiences don’t determine your value as a person.

I have no experience with the relationship bit because I just naturally let a potential person find me lol, and for other people I only worked on a sexual attraction spell for them, nothing really stable/serious. But I think you can search for that in the forum as there are lots of posts about such already. For cord-cutting and removal of unnecessary feelings/thoughts though, Archangel Michael remains very reliable and effective time and time again. Very easy to call as well.

King Belial too, but that is if you don’t mind brutal honesty and a straight-up kick to the arse when it comes to all the BS you’re holding onto.

Goodluck and do take care of yourself, OP! Also, why not introduce yourself to the forum? Even a brief but clear intro would do. :slight_smile:


I was going to post that, but you beat me to it.