I was trying to do a thought stopping exercise in the soul travel course and i kept getting distracted by bodily discomfort. I ignored it and tryed to reposition and relax more and it then i stared feeling actual pain. Like in my toes and such. The interesting part im curious about is how after i ignored that and started getting into the exercise i heard the words “come and find me” in my head. And somehow they could not be ignored or dismissed. They kind of sounded like they were coming from a little girl with a cute sing-song voice but somehow I knew that it was definitely was not a little girl. I felt curious and I wanted to investigate but I also felt a little bit of dread? I asked it what it was and what it wanted and it just said the words again and I got the strong instinct to unpack my tarot cards. Something that I never really learned how to use properly. And then I shuffled the deck and Drew one and it was the Ten of cups. The voice and the feelings seems to indicate that this was a proper answer to the question of what it was. I looked it up and apparently the 10 of Cups is about happiness, contentment, and emotional fulfillment? Expecially when concerned with family? Which are definitely things that I’ve been missing. Its worth mentioning that now 10 minutes later I feel physically cold. And also a little… scared? Like in a horror movie when someone is about to open a dark closet. And part of me feels that the card should be upside down. And a part of me doesn’t. Is it saying that I should come and find those things or something more specific? Or something eles? Should i do that? Really any information or ideas would be appreciated. Thank you.
PS. There’s a recurring theme in my life and especially in my dreams and Daydreams and visualizations where little girls seem to represent some part of me. Usually having to do with my innocence. And they always seem to live and die horribly and painfully. Most often by my own hand. What the fuck is going on? Should I talk to a therapist about these things instead of you guys?
I think it’s about stop feeling sorry for yourself and enjoy your life. Be your own force of happiness in your life and don’t let feelings of victim hood hold you down from being all that you can be.
It’s like in the matrix if you have seen the film. It’s all about you and how you perceive your universe. In the matrix the little kid tells Neo not to try to bend the spoon because that’s impossible, instead really try to realize the truth, that there is no spoon, then you will realize that all that bends is yourself.
I’ve never had that but I tend to just jump into realms which I am giving shamanism a go as I just either struggle to control it or I prefer it there. It seems like having having a good talk to your mentor (I may be over thinking or going on) but you need to get to the bottom of it it may help. Also have you tried meditation with some incense sticks it may help
I think you could use some shadow work and healing. Reunite with those aspects that you hide away or shame or dislike (or that others dislike) and accept you for you. Rise like the pheonix from the ashes and become better. Show yourself some love. I’ll give you links and spirits. [quote=“god_complex, post:1, topic:20651”]
Usually having to do with my innocence. And they always seem to live and die horribly and painfully. Most often by my own hand. What the fuck is going on? Should I talk to a therapist about these things instead of you guys
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Yep. I might be right. I haven’t even read this yet.[quote=“god_complex, post:1, topic:20651”]
And then I shuffled the deck and Drew one and it was the Ten of cups. The voice and the feelings seems to indicate that this was a proper answer to the question of what it was. I looked it up and apparently the 10 of Cups is about happiness, contentment, and emotional fulfillment? Expecially when concerned with family? Which are definitely things that I’ve been missing. Its worth mentioning that now 10 minutes later I feel physically cold. And also a little… scared
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