I was trying to do a thought stopping exercise in the soul travel course and i kept getting distracted by bodily discomfort. I ignored it and tryed to reposition and relax more and it then i stared feeling actual pain. Like in my toes and such. The interesting part im curious about is how after i ignored that and started getting into the exercise i heard the words “come and find me” in my head. And somehow they could not be ignored or dismissed. They kind of sounded like they were coming from a little girl with a cute sing-song voice but somehow I knew that it was definitely was not a little girl. I felt curious and I wanted to investigate but I also felt a little bit of dread? I asked it what it was and what it wanted and it just said the words again and I got the strong instinct to unpack my tarot cards. Something that I never really learned how to use properly. And then I shuffled the deck and Drew one and it was the Ten of cups. The voice and the feelings seems to indicate that this was a proper answer to the question of what it was. I looked it up and apparently the 10 of Cups is about happiness, contentment, and emotional fulfillment? Expecially when concerned with family? Which are definitely things that I’ve been missing. Its worth mentioning that now 10 minutes later I feel physically cold. And also a little… scared? Like in a horror movie when someone is about to open a dark closet. And part of me feels that the card should be upside down. And a part of me doesn’t. Is it saying that I should come and find those things or something more specific? Or something eles? Should i do that? Really any information or ideas would be appreciated. Thank you.
PS. There’s a recurring theme in my life and especially in my dreams and Daydreams and visualizations where little girls seem to represent some part of me. Usually having to do with my innocence. And they always seem to live and die horribly and painfully. Most often by my own hand. What the fuck is going on? Should I talk to a therapist about these things instead of you guys?