Throwing away really nice books and my first tarot deck that shocked my hand when I picked it up at Barnes and Nobel, all because I was having one of those bouts of ‘holding onto Christianity by my fingernails’ and felt like all the occult books were and off-putting combination with that.
Chatting and praying with a pastor after my first two-week-long getting blown open by a goddess experience and its after effects (which is funny - this particular goddess is tantamount to Mary Queen of Heaven in her full historic form). To be fair it did end in succubi keeping me up to where I could only sleep a few hours per night - that had me worried about my health. Also I’ve never since had anything quite that powerful happen since.
A few years later - working with a particularly powerful pair of female entities who may or may not have been of my creation (the debate would be whether I did generate every detail about them or just got lead to think I did) and really having it in my head that I could go into a meditation or a dream, drop in where I’d envisioned them as starkly as if it were a full physical reality, and imagining the combination of fear and anticipation I’d have walking down the hall toward them - if enough heart could make that happen then at that time I was the guy to do it! A strange thing happened early in that work - I was shown two girls who, per the dream, seemed like they were practitioners of one type or another who were willing to jump in and sort of animate these characters (a bit like they were thoughtforms that needed a human touch). I gave that a thumbs-down on principle because I was set on trying to make this work the way I wanted to. I’m still on the fence about this one though - ie. would I know what I know now, ie. that what I wanted was impossible, if I’d said yes to them and is it possible as well that they weren’t actually living people but rather ex humans or something in the pool of ancestors? That last part is neither here nor there in terms of being a good or bad thing but at the time I might have have thought of that sort of thing. A lot of contingencies there so a lot to say.
Smaller one but still funny - making a really cool black Saturn triangle to Lilith and Samael, adding up the Hebrew letters in their names, and somehow having gotten a translation that spelled her name LYLYTh rather than LILITh, thus I had a bit 731 on it rather than a 611. Blessing the pendent I was working on went fine but yeah, felt a bit embarrassed about that afterward.