What's the most retarded thing you've done in the occult

Throwing away really nice books and my first tarot deck that shocked my hand when I picked it up at Barnes and Nobel, all because I was having one of those bouts of ‘holding onto Christianity by my fingernails’ and felt like all the occult books were and off-putting combination with that.

Chatting and praying with a pastor after my first two-week-long getting blown open by a goddess experience and its after effects (which is funny - this particular goddess is tantamount to Mary Queen of Heaven in her full historic form). To be fair it did end in succubi keeping me up to where I could only sleep a few hours per night - that had me worried about my health. Also I’ve never since had anything quite that powerful happen since.

A few years later - working with a particularly powerful pair of female entities who may or may not have been of my creation (the debate would be whether I did generate every detail about them or just got lead to think I did) and really having it in my head that I could go into a meditation or a dream, drop in where I’d envisioned them as starkly as if it were a full physical reality, and imagining the combination of fear and anticipation I’d have walking down the hall toward them - if enough heart could make that happen then at that time I was the guy to do it! A strange thing happened early in that work - I was shown two girls who, per the dream, seemed like they were practitioners of one type or another who were willing to jump in and sort of animate these characters (a bit like they were thoughtforms that needed a human touch). I gave that a thumbs-down on principle because I was set on trying to make this work the way I wanted to. I’m still on the fence about this one though - ie. would I know what I know now, ie. that what I wanted was impossible, if I’d said yes to them and is it possible as well that they weren’t actually living people but rather ex humans or something in the pool of ancestors? That last part is neither here nor there in terms of being a good or bad thing but at the time I might have have thought of that sort of thing. A lot of contingencies there so a lot to say.

Smaller one but still funny - making a really cool black Saturn triangle to Lilith and Samael, adding up the Hebrew letters in their names, and somehow having gotten a translation that spelled her name LYLYTh rather than LILITh, thus I had a bit 731 on it rather than a 611. Blessing the pendent I was working on went fine but yeah, felt a bit embarrassed about that afterward.

Well it’s not retarded on me, more like it was fun and retarded on my friend but yeah me and some other friends accompanied an old friend in etheric projection and we didn’t know he was going to piss off a reaper, so he took off somewhere absorbed his projection and kind of hid himself lol. The rest of us just ran around in an etheric projection turning it into a game of hide and seek tbh because the reaper gave chase.

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Probably doing an induction rite to the gods of Maergzjiran Cabal with my back to them (if they were eve there) and not even finishing it … oops

Set a stairwell on fire as an idiot teenager.

Stairwell was at the back of my moms house, in the basement. There was a window with a curtain, some posters on the wall. It was where people went to smoke.

Was doing a death and rebirth ritual. Had this large metal bucket in which I placed 3 old diaries, some hair,

Tried to light it. Failed. Very anti climactic. Then I noticed my brother had left his lighter fluid laying around.

Put WAY too much fluid on.

Flames shot up to the top of the stairwell. All the posters caught fire and were curling up. The curtain practically vanished instantly in the flames. My metal bucket was roaring, deafening loud. I burnt my waist length hair and had to chop 4 inches off to make it healthy again.

My mom came barreling down the stairs to see me standing in a blackened room, the stench of paper and burnt cloth and hair. I was literally smouldering.

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i swear to GO. to become a woman. I saw Lilith head in my eyes so soft and pretty like his father shinny like mine girly and this is a secret nobody believes my thought sounds lovely

Welcome @lucibabe It is a rule of this forum that all new members must properly introduce themselves, so please click the link below and tell us about yourself and any experience you have in magick ie what you practice, how long you have practiced, etc:

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Absorbing prana without filtering it first. Never a good idea

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I began to feel and think I was married to a demon :joy: I wasn’t but that was my stupid mind so I stopped immediately and never though of it ever again :joy::joy:

does your current partner have a white and shinny body like when the night lights up by the moon like the one demon)the moon) does,

This has been happening to me! Made it rain twice this week with intent… and the weather app said it’s supposed to be clear the whole time :grin:

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so it was YOU! :hushed: :hushed: :rofl: :rofl:

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I needed some more ambient reading weather :wink:

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I’m a doubter- so I kept asking for signs - but little things weren’t enough I was greedy and continually asked—-until something I had hanging on the walk starting shaking . That shut me up (for a bit) I still constantly ask…I’m just in awe

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Your mind tries to normalise things, it happens to me and I’ve been doing magick for over 25 years, and seen some incredible things, yet a few days later the old stabilisation device starts downplaying it.

It’s important to keep good journals and to note the exact details of anything incredible, if it’s safe to do so. :+1:

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Will do! I have really cool videos on my phone

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Written notes activate your brain, as well:

(Better link, soz)

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The dumbest thing I’ve done in the occult is sex magick with my ex and giving him taste of my soul.

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Picked up alcohol and drugs with the alure of chemognosis…EVERYTHING died from that point on…Addiction followed and …well whatever power I had…I HAD…a year clean still nowhere near the power and gifts I had…Most retarded thing I did was trash my brain, body and lose all of my power…And from hereon its the every day is war one day at a time spiel…I suppose that was the abyss or am I still in it???

Either way, advice on using drugs for an altered state of consciousness and spiritual experiences…DONT

what the heck are you talking about?

Um using the marseille tarot as a newbie was a mistake. Its hard to use cause you just have to count cards and no pictures to keep track of what it is. The other thing is I was sort of out of it and accidentally put a cold drink on one of the cards bending it up.

That was just lame though, the really stupid thing I did was call 3 separate demons when I couldn’t see or hear them to get my husband a job. Divination (that I didn’t do) and tracing out the sigil gave me a bad feeling on one of them. The other one I tried to evoke while I had a cold. Not good, yeah 2 car accidents later I was ready to give up goetia for good. (but I didn’t cause I just ended up being so desperate for something else, but this time I vowed not to make newbie mistakes, do divination, and work to see and hear the demons.