ok, i can share this one from last year.
i got into a pretty long powwow with a friend of a friend of mine. he was having trouble meeting women and was love-shy. which is wierd, because he is an athlete with a great personality and a lot of good qualities. it seemed to me that a lot of girls would go for him but he had something going on internally, some type of block there and he just needed to get that out of the way and he’d be flying.
so i tag-teamed with a dating coach and we took a few months to lay a good solid foundation for his changework.
changework is based on three main principles: developing a vision for yourself and your identity, doing inner changework, and then developing effective outer habits. in his case, we took time to figure out his personality using a variety of personality tests and then used robert greene’s book the art of seduction to find a seducer’s persona that was most closely like his personality. turns out he is a softie at heart and a bit of a hopeless romantic, which you’d never be able to tell because he looks like a goon and does heavy weight training and martial arts all the time. i think he had developed the expectation that he should act like a hardass because he looks like one (actually, he IS one - when he fights he is SCARY) but that’s the thing. you have to begin with who YOU are, not try to be somebody else. it took a little while for him to admit to himself that he has a vulnerable side that he had to develop and to realize that developing a HIDDEN vulnerable side is a huge turnon to women, as long as he only shows it to the woman he loves and doesn’t turn into a simp. we had to explain that to him and once he got that point, things changed for him. he realized he didn’t have to wear a mask to impress his buds anymore and that made a huge difference.
the next thing we did was introduce him to inner changework, but he balked. he didn’t want to do it. i did bring up magick and he said flat out he wants NOTHING to do with black magick. that made things a little bit tougher, because inner changework and magick are pretty much the same thing. so i had to go laterally and let him know magick is really just hypnotism with religious and esoteric symbolism, other than that there is no difference at all. to get around his discomfort with sorcery, i brought a professional hypnotist on-board and explained how to use awareness exercises at home in order to prepare him for outer habit changes. i had him do win wenger’s windtunnelling exercise to stimulate free conversation, and had him speak nonstop for 15 to 20 minutes a day to get over his tongue-tied condition, and then he followed that up with what i call the ‘hi’ exercise, which is basically just him finding 20 random people a day and saying hi to them with a genuine smile. he did that for a month. at first he had trouble doing it, but he fought through that and it made a huge difference in his energy field. he said that at first people were scared because he is so big, but after a few days people would start saying hi back, and then they started to approach HIM and try to get him into conversations! the windtunnelling exercises he did at home helped him fight his way through the convos and in the process he made a few new friends. note: he didn’t only approach women. i told him say hi to ANYONE who looks interesting and develop an active interest in human beings. he did and he said after about two months he was being invited to events by others at his gym whereas before they would leave him alone to lift.
about four months into doing these two exercises and hashing out different awareness exercises, he reported back to us that women were approaching him and telling him they thought he was cute after watching him lift at the gym. two different women began dating him soon after. his buddy tried to ccockblock his connection with one of the women, so i went radionic on mr.cockblocker and told him to tool the guy. i did a confusion ritual and after that his friend started acting wierd, which made his love interest lose any sympathy she had for the cockblocker.
here’s where i fucked up and learned an important lesson. i asked him for a genetic link for himself and the girl he was into. he gave me photos of both of them and i threw them on. the ritual i used was to make her fall for him, bc it sounded like she really liked him and i wanted to turn that into full-blown love. later that day he told me he was distracted like crazy and he couldn’t stop daydreaming about her the whole day! he said he felt like she was all over him having intense sex. i only broadcast for 45 minutes! so clearly something happened. a couple of days after that she told him she couldn’t stop thinking about him but then she stopped going to the gym. she invited him to go out with her but she told him he had to meet her friend first. they tried setting that up for a couple of weeks then she just up and disappeared. turns out i used too much juice. lesson learned: don’t try to make anyone fall in love for anyone else if they have a choice in the matter. without a bind it won’t stick bc they still have choice as an escape route, and most people hate stress. binding works on the principle of stress overload to shut down defensiveness and requires that you remove all other choices from their lives. if you don’t remove other choices, those choices become MORE attractive, even if that choice involves being alone, because the other choice comes with NO STRESS. when it comes to installing love, you have to take a feeling that is ALREADY there and build on it. that way the attraction doesn’t come with stress. if the attraction is not there already in the person you want to be with, you can’t put it there, they will resist it showing up out of nowhere and feel manipulated, even if they can’t explain what is going on. the only way to install a new feeling of attraction and let it stay is through manipulation and bindwork. that is one of the reasons love magick in general tends to be so goddamn sketchy, and it is the tricky part with milder attraction rituals that don’t bind. they have to already be into the person before you can turn the heat up. in turning the heat up, you have to convince them that going for that person is their best choice. if they agree, when they make their move there might be anxiety about rejection but there won’t be any stress involved. if you try to force a feeling that wasn’t there already, it’s not going to happen either for men or for women. they’ll feel like something is off, and both sides, especially the woman, is going to react negatively to that. i pushed the magick part a little too hard. and she tried to justify the sudden feeling, but she couldn’t and he lost her. now i know what NOT to do.
i did a clearing for him to clean up his energy just in case it impacted the vibe other women got from him, and i left his energy field clean. soon after, he met somebody else and she was crazy about him. they started dating after that. what i did this time, is i used the sigil of tuel from erik’s mastering evocation book and i went to foster a feeling that was already there instead of trying to force anything. it’s been about seven months now and those two are going strong. they’ve been on about four vacations all over north america and the woman is happy she finally found a guy she can brag about to her friends. they have hilarious banter together, they share a lot of the same interests, and when they take photos together (they do that a lot), you can tell they are really good to each other.
the hardest part i had to deal with in all of that, is when the ritual was over. i told him, problem solved, i’m outa here! and he wasn’t happy. he had gotten so used to me working through the different parts of changework that he didn’t want me to go. but i told him, the change is always inside of you. i had to make a bit of a clean cut so he would realize that he was the one who did the work, not me. i just guided him through some blind spots is all. i did find it interesting that the one time i tried to play mr.mighty magician, it backfired and he lost out. another lesson learned: sometimes less is more. and that lesson is kind of hard i think for magicians to take, because it is so easy to think magick isn’t working. sometimes, the problem isn’t that you’re not doing enough magick - SOMETIMES THE PROBLEM IS THAT ARE DOING TOO MUCH AND NEED TO CHILL AND LET THINGS HAPPEN ON THEIR OWN.
i had a couple of professionals riding shotgun with me the whole way through, so it wasn’t just me doing all the heavy lifting. one was a pro domme/sub in bdsm (she switches) who is a master practitioner in nlp. the other a professional hypnotherapist with a decade-old practice. they consulted with me on the changework and both of them said that everything i did was above-board as far as changework and hypnotism is concerned. i asked everybody for input, it was far from a one-man show. we had some really killer information going back and forth and i learned at least as much as the guy i was broadcasting for. that’s the thing about magick: you can’t do changework without changing something about yourself. overall, we did NO love rituals, NO pickup artistry, and NO black magick (he insisted we don’t go there). but he’s been seeing his sweetheart for seven months now and they get closer together every day, so i consider that working to be a success.
