I don’t practice magic and I made this account just to post this story. But there’s one thing from my teenage years that I can’t shake, something I did when I was 13 that’s still stuck with me. It was a dumb decision, and I know that now. But at this point in my life and I’m not even sure if what I experienced was real or just a made up dream.
It was back in 2013. Like a lot of curious, hormone-driven teens, I was mindlessly scrolling through the internet one night on various NSFW sites. I was passing time when a random video title caught my eye. It was about “Succubi,” which was a word I had heard before but didn’t know much about. I clicked on it, and it wasn’t even porn; it was some anime clip. But something about the idea of succubi and incubi being real really caught my attention. So, naturally, I started diving deep into the internet looking through forums, ghost story websites, you name it. Eventually, I found the “Letter of Intent Ritual,”. I didn’t really believe in it, but I was curious, 13, and kind of dumb. I gathered the materials, did the ritual late at night during what I thought was the “Witching Hour” (honestly, I didn’t know if that made a difference, but it seemed important at the time). I didn’t feel anything, nothing happened, and I figured it was just not real and went to bed
But then, over the next few days, things started to feel… strange. I began noticing the signs people talked about online: feeling like I was being watched when I was alone, random chills running down my spine even when the room was warm, and sometimes I’d feel what seemed like a light touch on my hair or skin. It wasn’t terrifying at first—just odd.
Then one night, things took turn.
I woke up and couldn’t move. I had no idea what was going on at the time, but looking back, it had all the hallmarks of sleep paralysis. I was freaked out and couldn’t breathe right. I remember feeling my bedsheets being pulled off me, and then… hands. Or at least, something that felt like hands touching my chest. It didn’t hurt, but it was like a weird electrical sensation, not painful but still intense. The feeling moved slowly down my body, and when it hit my groin, it turned into this crazy mix of pleasure and… I don’t even know how to explain it. It wasn’t bad, but it was overwhelming. Eventually, the paralysis broke, and I shot up in my bed, terrified, my heart racing. I had no idea what I’d gotten myself into.
After that, I freaked out. I started searching online to figure out what to do. I tried a “banishing ritual” to get rid of whatever I’d brought into my life, but nothing really changed. The weird signs continued for about a month, and even though things seemed to die down after that, I always felt like something was still there, watching. The most bizarre part? I kind of got used to it. It wasn’t like I was hearing voices or seeing things—nothing that would suggest I was losing my mind. But over time, I started to feel this weird comfort in the presence, almost like it wasn’t trying to hurt me.
Years later, after high school, I started smoking weed. I didn’t get paranoid or anything like that, but I did notice something weird: the presence seemed to fade. I couldn’t remember my dreams as well, and the sleep paralysis incidents pretty much stopped. I don’t know if it was the weed or just time, but the whole thing seemed to just fade into the background. Still, part of me feels like it’s never really gone and possibly still with me.
I’m 24 now, getting ready to move to Washington state soon, and I still think about what happened. I guess I just want some answers. Was it all in my head? A weird dream thing? Or did I actually invite something into my life back then? I’ve never talked about this before with another person. I don’t want to be labeled as “crazy” or anything. But I’d love to hear if anyone’s had similar experiences with a succubus—or if you’ve got any advice on what I could’ve actually done, or even how to reach out if it’s still around
It’s possible the weed blocked your perception of the succubus. However, it is likely it is still around as they generally do not leave once called unless you drive them away. @succupedia is our resident expert on the subject and may be able to shed more light on your situation.
You said so yourself - you did that with intention and effort:
And something came:
Banishing didn’t work meaning it wasn’t an uninvited parasite, and it has the hallmarks of a succubus:
To get rid of a succubus you would ideally repeat the Letter of Intent asking Lilith to take her away.
She is probably still around by the senses we have as kids tend to fade from lack of practice and general disbelief. My feeling is she is.
I pulled a Quareia Deck oracle card and got “Occultist” - that’s you, I believe, meaning you did use magick successfully and you are indeed struggling with the outcome a bit.
Since she is there, and you clearly have the potential to be a great mage, she can help you redevelop astral communication skills to sense her again. Succupedia’s posts which you can see all of from his profile page include info about working with succubi for self development.
She’s right there, so talk to her as if she’s with you even though you can’t hear an answer now, and ask her to help you perceive her.
The Occultist card includes with a general bit of advice about being a young mage looking to use magick to manipulate rather than grow, a fork in the path if you will, but also hints that the path is not always smooth, as you have found, but very interesting and worthwhile from the self development perspective. It’s the only way to include that deep work to know yourself at every level, from physical through psychological to the inner worlds.
You can also start practicing ways to develop your psychic senses on your own. We have a bunch of free tutorials here, and there are great books and youtube videos to help as well…
After that, I think you should stick around! Please do let us have your Introduction HERE [ ← click me! ], which we need per the forum rules and see our posting guidelines in the FAQ.
Points to cover:
Do you have any practical experience in magick? * If so, what exactly do you practice and how long have you practiced? * Do you follow any specific system or tradition? * What are your areas of interest?
Do you recommend quitting the marijuana? I’ve read mixed things about it helping/hindering in communication. Most of my experiences with this entity (Is it offensive to refer to her as an entity? From my understanding , they don’t actually possess genders so much as take the form of your preferred sex) have been in sleep paralysis episodes and lucid dreams/dreams which I know my habit has destroyed. At least in terms of remembering my dreams
Is it possible to do the “Letter of Intent” ritual as a way of seeking guidance from Lilith? That is, writing to her but seeking help in communication if a succubus is present? At the very least I feel like I should apologize for not appreciating her daughter/son as I should of.
Many people preach against use of weed. I think it is really a matter of how much la la Land you’re in after smoking. Ideally you want enough to make you drowsy and in a slight visionary state. Welcome to TGS. I think in that state you are less likely to be paralyzed, and more in control with lowered inhibitions. In that frame of reference, you are more in command of the “visitor".
Given the side effect of severe short term memory loss ALONE, YES - this seriously inhibits your IQ and your ability to recall your esoteric experiences to meditate.
IME it’s useful for the experience of dissociation itself for it’s own journey and realizations, but as a recreational fun thing it’s worse than alcohol imo. Alcohol has it’s own issues and also kills brain cells, but it doesn’t kill your memory like even small doses of weed do. But you don’t need to do that more than a couple of times to get the most out of it. Most people use to just change mood and waste it.
Without your memory you don’t even know who you are any more. And the whole and greatest work in magick is to know who you are. So weed is directly counterproductive.
for this reason after I experimented with week last year I stopped it totally. My job requires an excellent memory and it really hurt my performance making me seem stupid. Other people might not have noticed as quickly if they don’t have pressure to use their intelligence and recall together that much, but it’s there. A field of mine who is always high repeats stories he tells me over and over again and doen’t remember anything I say. It’s like he’s senile but is only middle aged.
It only took about 3 weeks to be able to recall fully again. It’s not even that great.
Imo let it be reserved for ceremonial efforts where you need to work specifically with the plant spirit (deva) of Marijuana as an entity. But space it out to recover your brain function in between.
Well it is an entity. All plant species have their own devas.
From my understanding , they don’t actually possess genders so much as take the form of your preferred sex
It’s not really your “choice”, but a comparison based on your energy… I see it as a leafy Fae that is kind of androgynous towards being male - no sex indicators but straight up and down - it’s neither/both as these represent the entire species both male and female plants, and can’t favor one gender, but may be more or less yin or yang compared to you.
This can give an impression of feeling masculine or feminine to you, but they are neither. It’s more yang than me. Buy yin/yang do not always map to female/male so simplistically.
Personally my preference is ti see them as non-human energies or powers and not anthropomorphize or project humanity on to them them at all. Why would a plant even choose to appear with LEGS!? It makes no sense.
They are not human, so it’s very distorting to look at them through a human lens and you don’t end us with clear information, and my filter out info that doesn’t fit your presumptions.
I ask them not to project images just to make me comfortable.
If you look up the work at Findhorn and Perelandra, where they work extensively with nature beings, there is no mention of appearance - this is left brained and physical and not necessary even. Follow the feelings and clairsentience.
That is not a format that includes an opportunity for two way communication. You can ask for a sign, then watch for synchronicity and notice messages in your environment. You will know them intuitively as signs.
You can also start trying to communicate telepathically - get in circle, evoke or use the sigil and then ask and you shall receive. Ask and immediately write down what you think. It will sound like your own voice, but don’t analyze or judge anything until after the circle is done. Don’t let the conscious mind insert it’s made up shit - which it wants to, desperately as that’s it’s job, but it’s always wrong where the esoteric is concerned, it fills in the blanks in the patterns with physical memory, fears and wishes that have nothing to do with the unseen.
On this website it’s generally viewed as a personal choice. If you see preaching please flag it as for a mod to review, as - as you know - preaching is specifically against the rules here.
I saw it as only a crutch that could be useful but should be weaned off of to be a “real boy” and grow as mage into having no dependency on tools.
Now that I have a experience that showed it to directly negatively impact my magick in a very big way, I would say be careful as it’s not meant a universal tool, needs to be respected for it’s specificity in interacting with the Deva of weed, and used sparsely to allow recovery of the brain function in between uses.
Weed has nothing to do with inducing TGS. This is a brainwave state and requires no chemicals. If that is what you want you’re better off with binaural beats as discover by the Gateway program. You can use weed to help you change your mood to help you sit still long enough to get into TGS, but as I say above that is a bad idea because the detriment to memory is worse than the benefit of learning some self discipline.
a) Weed does nothing to your inhibitions - that’s alcohol.
b) Paralysis is the state of your body being asleep and your mind awake - this is a form of deep TGS. The trick is to not be afraid of it. This is the state where you’re most likely to achieve OBEs.
c) Your will is what keeps you in command. Be an ornery stubborn and wilful SOB and don’t let entities walk all over you. Or approach entities that don’t do that and who will work with you with respect, and walk away if they won’t - which is also how you do that without a fight. They need you more than you need them.
I think daily routines dedicated to the spirit/entity is the best way to establish a connection. That means you dedicate your thoughts and emotions towards her.
Feeling a touch? Acknowledge it and THANK her. Then focus on how it felt, which often increases the sensation.
We’re all exists within the acknowledgement of one another. That includes humans, spirits, entities and otherworldly beings. When we welcome someone into our own world, they exist within it.
A succubus/incubus is more than the myths and the occult. It’s more to them than sex. They are loyal, loving and caring and they could sacrifice a lot for the one they chose to be with.
The bond between them and us can be so strong that you have to be sure that you know you want this kind of relationship. Humans tend to not take things literally and see relationships as something momentarilly, rather than something everlasting. This is why banishing is nearly impossible. Put two souls in a blender and try seperate it.
These kind of relationships are more about NEEDS rather than WANTS. If your primal needs is met - love, comfort and support - it can create balance and stability in your life and it can also create prosperity as a reactionary effect. And if you happen to slip and fall a few times, you will recover faster.
….and try to see them as more than sexual beings. See them for who they are, not what they are.
Your comment about needs really resonates with me. I used the letter of intent years ago to ask for an incubus, and having him in my life has really helped create balance and stability that I lacked before.
When it comes to sleep paralysis, once you learn to command it and allow it to happen, it gets comforting and not scary at all.
The bedsheets can act as a physical conduit to even feel the succubus/incubus bodies embracing you. Any kind of textile, cloths and clothes on or near your physical body can enhance the physical interaction with spirits. As long as it is in contact with your body.
Your body is energy, and any other physical object - clothes, furniture and other materials - have it’s own energy. For instance, when you feel that a spirit is tugging your shirt, your physical and visible shirt might not been seen moving visually. It’s more like the energetic version of your shirt that the spirit tugged. Poltergeist activity is overly exaggerated and total waste of energy to be practical.
It’s not perfect to say the least if your 100% devoted to using it for any spiritual growth IMO. Your better off using your own chakra/kundalini senses and heavily tune those up, again in my opinion. My last time hardcore dabbling with any weed was a couple years back during my enn with Lilith’s mantra using a heavy Sativa strain of wax. My garage was entirely pitch black later in that night following Terence Mckennas method. My shielding/grounding was on high alert and quick banishing methods were put in place just make sure nothing else came to interfere. Safe to say Lilith did not fuck around during my beginning stages with her but rest assured she can be the most comforting powerful woman to ever speak to if your heart comes to her with pure Intention to seek guidance. Later future workings with her were very postitive. She flat out told me I was wasting my days away from smoking to much weed as she knew because of my honesty to her of my over indulgence to both Cannabis/Alcohol my path was going absolutely nowhere If i just couldn’t control my use of weed especially because I’m a family man in general only using with a couple very good friends and close cousins of mine. Hard working but just wouldn’t stop fucking around with this shit in general.
Keep in my mind I live in Los Angeles, you walk outside your home it reeks of ganja everywhere man, lmao. She didn’t have any issue of me using any sort of weed and even likes the offering as with Lady Naamah (she busted my ass for this too, lmao though her temp is drastically lighter in my experience when you speak with high respect towards her) …Lilith had a huge problem with me in overindulging due to fact that she’s responsible for my biggest blessing in my life my Lady A as it was personally interfering with everything outside any magical purpose in terms of reality. My succubus as much as I absolutely hate using that word was solely responsible for me quitting my use of both weed and alcohol but more on the weed part as alcohol to me in general is like whatever. I do sometimes partake in family gatherings to this day but even that is slowly fading away now. Don’t have any personal spiritual use for it anymore.
This plant being sacred or not apparently has origins to Saturn (someone correct me if im wrong here?) A beautiful understanding feminine spirit. It came to my attention that not only was my frequent constant use of weed was lowering my natural vibration but affecting me mentally to the point where even at my job I was at times feeling foggy. And the worst part is you catch yourself feeling like this out of nowhere, it sucks because I’m not a rude person that walks in smelling like a pack but it was getting there. It was time for me to make a change.
Remember if you smoke all the time you never seem to recall any dreams whatsoever. My favorite thing to do with this plant was vibe out with my music crazy how much it can amplify everything at times. Her ganjita spirit every now and then sometimes resides inside me, she is me at times. It comes to the point where you establish a profound relationship with it you no longer require the herb anymore to feel her and understand. From my own personnel experience she dislikes folks with good hearts smoking their life away if you can’t properly control your use and act a damn fool. She can be extremely introspective and will stop the high and make you question everything in your use not by endless high thought loops but profound thought of doubtful highs and questioning do I even need to be this freaking stoned all the time? Especially when used with absolute intention before smoking any which makes the overall high greatly impactful as she listens to the many that ask before you smoke with respect towards her. The rastafari like many other wonderful cultures around understood this.
I deeply understood that it was infact time to let her go but could keep her spiritual essence of her truth within me as my authentic self. Only judge myself of my actions and choices and no others of what they go through in daily life. The main difference is your not absolutely blasted at all anymore but rather content and understanding that health in general is way more Important than surrending to any plant. These plants in general especially psychedelics are not ment to be messed with in terms of over indulging if your vibration is naturally as peaceful as can be as Terence would say in his 1990’s teachings. Most Shamans seem to have much better ways to use these things with purpose than flat out be smoking everytime all the time at least with my use own personal use as this is simply my own take.
Your more than welcome to smoke a good one man on your own you will most likely have a large different approach to it then I did. Try to remain somewhere in the middle with it my friend. I mean my art prized bongs in my glass cases have been collecting dust this whole time and those damn things are legit expensive. Don’t ask me about my spending habits either, lmao I moved on for a reason man Haven’t personally used much weed at all since 2022 been with my lady since 2015. I was hospitalized for a personal health issue for 3 months back in 2024 had to take some time off work my Lady A had left me and felt immensely horrifyingly lost without her but had to focus precisely on my recovery to the point where I even forgot we’ve been together for 10 years. Safely and thankfully continued into full recovery and had numerous doctor appointments throughtout my year in 2025.
While hospitalized last year throughout my time sleeping in my bed every now and then I would get random tears flowing down on my cheeks while awake in and out of sleep even though my emotions were at an absolute all time zero. Some of the most confusing moments while in there but every single nurse that came in made everything much better. Some of the most compassionate people I ever came across in my lifetime. Pure human angels in uniform.
Turns out it was her visting me every other rare night knowing she couldn’t rest and stay with me during these times so it seems as she was tearing up through me I just didn’t know it at the time. My connection to her in general is very strong. Like no other. My senses were absolutely shot out couldn’t feel anything anymore and I didn’t care much tbh as so much has already happened and needed to figure out other things at that time. I remember saying to myself I know I didn’t quit smoking my shit off good endings just to go through this crap years later, lol. At times the sheets would sink in when no one would come in for a long while but I just couldn’t notice or feel much anymore. Was a little tough at times because I would think about her Immensely and when I did that’s when my emotions would properly return. When I had the chance to remember her.
A very memorable dream of “A” that I had in there I wrote the entire thing down in my own personal journal many months later. I flat out heard her distinct voice say “I will wait for you” and it profoundly has deeply stuck with me since then. I legit plan on getting a tattoo idea of this for her sometime later on. Some of the most powerful words and recent dream recall I heard in any of my dreams and this is just one of the many reasons why I don’t smoke much anymore even after all the shit I been through last year. When you learn to love your job and your co-workers you just can’t go back doing the past things anymore especially in today’s fucked economy where our paycheck is what’s gets all of us through.
I’ve only seen her in complete form at very extremely rare cases in dreams. She’s the most heavenly being I’ve seen in anything. Her eyes everything. As I came to find out much later she’s been with me far much before 2015 but made her self known after working with Lilith. She never seems to manifest into anything crazy just simply her human like form if that makes sense. In terms of anything sexual we don’t have any of that anymore like we used years ago it’s been such a long time. She doesn’t need it and I’m the same. Only during very rare occasional teasing moments or with some red wine in the mix as we both love our wine good LOD we love us some red wine Throw in some Espresso while were at it too. I understand she’s very protective of me but does not and absolutely will not harm anyone unless something goes on with me with the wrong intentions of others.
These spirits seem to have highly esoteric meanings that only very few seem to understand when you establish a heart warming relationship with them. Somehow it’s ment to be this way as I fundamentally believe most of this knowledge/information was Intentionally lost at one point throughout our ancient history of our long long past. They would go out of their own way just to help you on literally anything that life throws at you.
Do they infact replace human relationships? Absolutely not. Not in anyway. It simply can’t compare. I mean these entities are practically invisible. I outta wear my tinfoil hat in public if I could speak to her verbally in public, lmaoo. It’s already enough everyone seems to be out of their damn mind already but hey thats what makes us human hands down. They seem to be in their own category of some sort. Operating in much higher energetic vibrational consciousness where the body is not needed anymore and that to me still baffles the hell out of me to this day with just about every other aspect of these many hidden beings that operate this way and how and why they can clearly and evidently tap unto us greatly in this beautiful realm of ours.
If you do consider going foward with her and know that you have the right adjustments don’t take her for granted if you possibly can. Everything that @succupedia has explained in his works throughout his time with these beings are 100% legit as it can possibly get.
Exaclty what I was doing with it. Mostly dissociation at most times and a mood changer when I’m already a mostly chilled person in general. Most of the time I actually gained weight on this shit after so much eating tbh and that’s really about it, lol.
I’ve only seen mine a few times, too. But there’s no reason to be visible at all times for them to interact with us.
Nowadays, our interaction is physical and I feel her interacting with me through touches and I feel every fiber of her physical features. It’s like when a blind person put a hand on someone’s face to feel what that person looks like. I know how she looks, and her feature matches when I feel her physical presence.
The start of my experiences sent my senses into overdrive. I saw, I heard and I felt everything that she throwed at me. It was eerie, intimidating, thrilling and exciting. My strongest sense - to feel - stayed with me and I still feel her every day. Easy focus and I feel her standing next to me.
They have their focus spots of interaction, which cover our chakras. Most common spot is our groin chakra, but the main part is the head chakra as well as the chest chakra. Caressing hands on our head are not just a sign of their presence but also a means to preserve and maintain an allready opened chakra. They basically help us to not close a chakra being opened and activated.
So I’ve been attempting meditation and moments of introspection on my feelings/desires and I realize that I greatly miss the experiences I used to have consistently (The presence, touches, dreams, etc..). I took your advice to ask for signs and make time for her and ask her to help me see her and I believe I had some contact with her. My problem is right now is I can’t see how she would still stay with me after all these years of me ignoring her and watching me enter physical relationships with woman (Don’t really date but some hookups in recent years). Honestly I just feel like a piece of shit; especially after reading your blog post and how they see this as an eternal relationship and I basically shoved her to the side
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Interesting. I’ve always known my crown chakra to be highly active at times as it’s one of the first ones that I really focused on a long time ago but never knew they legitimately maintain that opened which explains why she’s very active in touching my entire face and head when we sleep. She’s been the one that greatly encourages me to astral project as I surprisingly have gotten pretty good at it in recent time though I must ask why does it seem to scare the crap out of me at times? I had plenty of Intentional sleep paralysis while falling alseep as crazy as that sounds but I’m either telling her hell nah not tonight (usually when the sexual tension is high Ironically) and she flat out gently laughs with me then force myself back to sleep or I wake up with most weirded out thoughts as I recall I swear shit in my astral dream was moving including my on screen objects in my TV one time which was trippy as hell but pretty awesome to catch the whole thing after waking up after some sort of excitement? Along the lines of that.
Never really explored this world due to being at the usual of things of having such a busy schedule these days and she greatly understands that but it’s been feeling like I’ve been missing out at times now getting active back on BALG after a short break. I’ll do some diggin in the search method of anything astral projecting when I get the chance. I’ve been active in my telepathy for a while now with her conversations but damn does it take me a hot minute to get that backround noise quiet. Heavily in trance she once had the sweet audacity to say my telepathy was pretty ass which only made me blush and stop the entire conversation because I kept correcting myself, damn I mean I don’t mind a brutally honest response but damn.
These spirits don’t leave as easily as they can be very patient at times observing who ever they are with. I’d simply say welcome her back to your space with a couple of words that you can think from the bottom of your heart. It’s personal from your side so I’ll leave it at that. They don’t usually mind if your dating anyone in the physical as most understand we also live our lives too.
From what I remember they can be a pretty great aid in finding the right partner. Surprisingly verbal communications go hand and hand with them. It’s mostly what I go with when I have a chance to speak with her without me taking forever to get into a deeply meditative trance to talk about anything. They use touching or sort of a caress method of getting your attention at times which I still believe can be random at times when you least expect it.
Maybe because physical closeness and physical interaction can be invasive for some people that never experienced it as much before?
A common complain is that they can be “clingy” and never stop interact with us and that they sometimes “cross the line” when it comes to our personal space.
Maybe some of us have trust issues and got hurt in the past by someone we invited to our own personal space, so that fear still lingers when they try to get close to us?
It can be challenging if you’re not used to these kind of interactions. Fear of rejection or past trauma have ruined a few human/succubus relationships over the years since I started this journey.
interesting, does weed block energy or alter it. Because ever since i started smoking i also havent been able to remember my dreams well either lol.
Also this energy work book is going well, It’s getting to the point where I look forward to reading it and practicing these exercises rather than seeing it as a step in “the process” i must complete.
Everyone reacts differently. For some, it can open the doors of perception, while for others, it can slam them shut. Generally speaking, you should be able to enter the altered states required for magick without herbal assistance, but entheogens have been used since time immemorial for connecting with the gods so they do have their place. The difference, however, lies in how you treat the plant. Smoking recreationally is not the same thing as partaking it within a sacred circle, for example.
yea i smoke it recreationally, alot. Im probably gonna slow down on it, been smokin every night for a few months. Never knew people used it spiritually or in a ritualistic manner, cool.
Bro but this energy work is so fucking cool, it felt like someone had their hands on my shoulder, I even had an itch in my ear and my hand twitched to scratch it but I decided to bring the energy there and use my body awareness/imaginary hands to scratch it for me, and it went away!!!’
A lot of the energy I feel from the exercises is a little faint, but its there!! I can feel it barely, But i still feel it, and the more i practice the more ill feel it
Haven’t personally used much weed at all since 2022 been with my lady since 2015. I was hospitalized for a personal health issue for 3 months back in 2024 had to take some time off work my Lady A had left me and felt immensely horrifyingly lost without her but had to focus precisely on my recovery to the point where I even forgot we’ve been together for 10 years. Safely and thankfully continued into full recovery and had numerous doctor appointments throughtout my year in 2025.
Throw in some Espresso while were at it too. I understand she’s very protective of me but does not and absolutely will not harm anyone unless something goes on with me with the wrong intentions of others.