Not sure if this is the appropriate place to post this and I apologize if it is not. I have been having a bit of a crisis of faith lately. I truly feel like I don’t deserve to be on the path of black magick as I am an untalented, unsuccessful loser who has no power and can’t even get laid. I feel a black magickian should be out there being a badass, having lots of wild sex, and living with great confidence with no sense of guilt, and here I can’t even get a date. I have decent social skills but no real charisma or acumen. I don’t have many friends, no sexual partner, and spend way too much time alone. How does someone like me, who cannot even fulfill his most basic of desires stand for the Left-Hand Path? I should be fearless with great instincts but I am often fearful and confused and have no idea what to do.I know it is not healthy to repress desires but if I don’t my sexual frustration and loneliness will kill me. I’m not a virgin but the last time I had any sort of sexual interaction with someone was like seven months ago. How can great beings like Samael and Lillith look at me and see anything but weakness, cowardice, and incompetence? How can someone who is not sexually active even interact with beings who radiate such raw sexual energy? This is not a cry for attention, I really have no way to reconcile my beliefs with my reality. I want to be something greater but I truly fear I don’t have what it takes.
Look, black magician isn’t this aspirational shit like “rockstar,” it’s a thing people DO, to begin with, and you start out where you are and you use the methods and you slowly make yourself the best you can be, which in NO way means being a man-whore or leading some shallow Instagram lifestyle.
Maybe not the “click here for one weird trick to become a (insert cliche)” people sometimes expect, just the way I see things.
No point trying to be someone else, just figure out what makes YOU tick and then pursue it with fiery passion.
You don’t have to stand for anything, it’s only religions and cults that demand everyone “represent.” One of my deceased family was a black magician, old-school pact with satan style, and no-one ever knew, he just did well, had a great career, enough money and abundance, a happy family, and shitloads of power to ascend after death.
You got this, remember you are only ever competing with yourself.
IF you do indeed have a Lot of things you could change in your life, Then you have a list a new spells you can do for Evocation and ALOT OF REASON TO DO MAGICK.
You’re not following the book. If you wanna boink hoes, you need to follow the book.
The 12 King Pimp Commandments:
1: Must be strong in mind and spirit.
2: Must control seven or eight cunts at once.
3: Only fuck with a bitch when you’re both clickin’.
4: Must withstand all criticism.
5: Never let a female be equal with you.
6: You’ll use violence in self-defense.
7: Never strike a bitch with a pipe or a knife.
8: Cleanliness is next to godliness.
9: Never be stingy, greedy, drifty or cheap.
10: Never sweat when a bitch leaves you.
11: Only keep a woman a term of four years.
12: A king pimp never follows a hollow-headed dick swallower.
You’re sexual prowess doesn’t make you worthy either. Quit putting sex on a pedestal. Refer to the song for more jewels.
Good luck and godspeed.
In all probability, if you were “successful” you wouldn’t be on this path. That’s were Magick can and does help.
Seven months, you poor thing. Try Samhain 2003.
Research and use pheromone sprays. I’ve used them and they do work - some better then others.
Funny thing is, if you are any kind of magickian then you have some intrinsic value, if to no one other than you. It’s not a bad place to start.
It does not really matter if any exterior power thinks you are a loser. Do you think you are a loser?
There is not a single power that can hold sway over you beyond your own (IMO), so you are only a fucking loser if you perceive yourself as a fucking loser. If you do find yourself feeling like a loser (I) choose to accept it as a point of advantage. Now you have stripped bare what you need to work on, and can act in accordance.
Sometimes realizing that some part of you is a fucking loser is the best thing that can happen for your own SELF development.
Please drop the expectations and work on self esteem — if you compare yourself to an ideal that devalues your existence, is to self sabotage and dismay any magickal endeavour you wish to use. It disables it.
If you don’t believe you have ‘it’, you won’t find it. It won’t find you either. You must believe and practice. The young has the faster pace, the elder knows the roads. Pace yourself and adjust to a personalised system, work on your pace as steadily as an experienced person.
The journey is now
I don’t disagree but how do I come to believe I have “it” when I don’t currently believe so?
@anon496642 You are a saint.
Just serving my community.
Affirmations. Repeatedly tell yourself how magical everything truly is and you have to obviously to do your part and sharpen the psychic lens — groundwork meditation and psychedelics jolted some kind of kickstart for me during my adolescence. But have hope that you are capable and will be more than capable soon to come.
It’s very black and white, believe the power within. If you don’t, bad luck, because that means you didn’t keep trying.
Hiya OP! If you’re having trouble believing, start angering. An easy fix for lack of belief is to stir up enough magical problems that you have no choice other than to believe in the physical reality of it! An example I saw on this forum would be to go desecrate and disrespect as many graves in a graveyard as possible during night, but, that’s child’s play. If you want to really go ham on your limiting beliefs or self-structures, simply call the strongest beings you can fathom, and try to in your imagination tear them apart or gobble them up. Imaginal elasticity aside, if you go around trying to specifically destroy the strongest things you’ll find that reality will hit you back in ways that destroy your disbelief (IME this can go as far as a car being picked up and flung at you). You could of course ask these beings to help you destroy your internal limiters, but if you’re trying to get over yourself, it’s faster to lose everything by pissing the world off and have to remake it.
Everything you say is true, you mad genius @Qayos
I recall hearing that If you have a low opinion of yourself, so will the spirits.
You have value brother/sister!
So you have low self-esteem. You’re honest,and that’s a good trait to have on the LHP.
You don’t hide your weaknesses, you own them. Again that’s good. Now you just need to apply yourself to ritual self-improvement.
Conjure for money using money rituals, using this, then this, then do these multi-rituals for a few months. Or if you prefer, create your own rituals using these or these books as your financial foundation.
You wanna get laid? Check out the posts i put here and here. Click through ALL of the links for more rituals, i got you covered. There are even more rituals here and here, and you’ll find more again in the Search feature of this site.
For spirit contact, check this out. Make sure you contact the spirits in earnest so you get the best results from doing this work. Also, check this out. It’s a simple way to contact the spirits, and you know, simple works.
If you feel like you’ve been cursed, give this a shot.
If all is lost and absolutely nothing you do works, try this.
Ask a lot of questions; there are some genuinely badass magicians on this board here and there.
Do a lot of magick to change your circumstances. Your life will change as you apply yourself.
Keep us posted on the changes that happen to you as you dig into the work and it rewards you.
Does anyone know which spirits/spells/rituals are good for helping to build self-esteem? I know my issues are rooted in my lack of confidence and I’d like to start there. I tried working with Bune this evening and am feeling peaceful and serene afterward, even though nothing all that dramatic happened unless you count a sense of peaceful numbness and dissociation. I became drowsy out of nowhere and damn near fell asleep during the ritual.
Honestly, if you are that new to magick, you could do worst than learning Hermeticism, visualization and meditation. Modern Magick by Donald Michael Kraig has it all. Big thick tome with twelve huge lessons. The basics can be learned in no time.
(or just search around the forum for some meditation and visualization approaches)
This is what leads to elemental magick, which is an amazing magick for:
- building self esteem
- healing our minds
- becoming spiritually adventurous
- shielding and grounding ourselves
- manifesting magickal results and changes within ourselves
- attracting the desired sex, if that’s actually important to you
No demons required man!!!
Once you are comfortable and confidant with your abilities, evocation might be the next frontier, or not, who knows.
EA’s books are terrific starters.
Ipssisimus and Questing after Visions for astral work.
Works of Darkness for a nice primer on ritual magick for sole practitioners
Evoking Eternity for summoning demons
Bardon’s Initiation into Hermetics is great if you actually are willing to put in the effort.
I love how they are ignoring this.