I’m totally new to this blog but I feel as though I belong…This trauma in my life has brought me straight to E.A ~ I have no doubt.
I’m going to tell everything in this post. I’ve thought about doing this for several weeks now but I just keep trying to deal with all of this shit on my own and I’m being told that my energy is waning and I need to tell others what is happening to me.
First off…some background.
I died when I was born…the doctor brought me back within about 3 minutes but not without nearly killing my Mother and giving me a neck injury that would come to the surface years later. Don’t know why I did not suffer some sort of brain injury but I did not. From the time I can remember I knew things that other people did not know and I could see things and feel things that other people could not. I learned at a very early age to keep my mouth shut about such things because people labeled you crazy.
I ended up labeling myself a Witch. I practiced solo for a very long time and then met others and joined a circle of Witches ~ that turned out to be a huge mistake. I was the only one in the circle who had any sort of power or energy at all and was told this by several people in this group…they were about taking what knowledge I had and using it for themselves ~ I left them when the HP told me she would kill me if I tried to leave her.
I then decided to spell for my one true love …I have had the same recurring dream of him for years and decided to put my knowledge to use and I called him to me. He showed up a couple of years later when I was in the middle of two other men and a nasty divorce but needless to say I was head over heels and I knew that he was “the one”. He came from a small island in the South Pacific …which is why I learned and took Tahitian dance lessons for over 8 years and took French for two…
We met online. He wanted to learn about Wicca and I was a teacher at the time ~ things just clicked and he was soon sending me gifts in the mail and then he came to meet me. It was a fairy tale…all my dreams had come true and I was so happy. It was glorious and I felt that I had finally gotten the love that I knew I deserved for so long. Even psychics that I went to informed me that he was indeed my true love.
Now please allow me to tell you about my recurring dream ~ in my dream I am a young sweet woman, wealthy by many standards and totally in love with her young man. I see myself returning from a long trip that I seem to have taken alone, a shopping trip because there are lots of packages and gifts that she carries in from the carriage in which she just arrived.
She is searching the house for her beloved and can’t seem to find him. The servants told her he was at home ~ when she discovers him he is with another woman. I drop the packages and run from the room. I return with two pistols and I shoot them both…
I am quickly beheaded and all my money and possessions are stolen by his family ~
After reading this “dream” I realize that it would seem strange to look for him again in this life but it seems that was my goal at the time. When we met I told him all about this dream and he in turn told me how he to is certain he had been searching for me as well.
My devotion and love are undying for this man and I tell him that I would literally die for him ~ at the time I meant every single word.
I ended up coming to the small island in FP and meeting his family …I instantly thought they were fabulous and assumed that all was well in paradise. We went back to the US and lived in my home for one year and then we packed up everything we owned and moved here to the South Pacific.
I have been here now for 8 years and had gotten fairly lazy in my magic. I thought everything was hunky dory and I was a total fool.
Now let me go back a bit…two and a half years ago his, my husbands Mother became quite ill ~ with copd…I offered them a way to try to heal her. I mean to really heal her but they FLATLY refused to help her like that. She died about two months later and I swear the old man, my husband father, did a gig. He was just as happy as a lark, even at her funeral.
I recently found out that the old man fathered another daughter out of wedlock when he cheated on my MIL ~ 18 years ago. Neither my husband nor his Sister know of this indiscretion…
Now he, my FIL, is paying a prostitute to come to his house and he bought the whore a car. Then I found out that he had a wad of cash lying around and she, the hooker, stole it all…now she is gone.
My FIL is worth quite a bit of money …I believe this is my money that was stolen from me in the past.
I also just found out that my husbands Sister is also a cheater and liar, plus she has been so mean to me from the start. It seems that all I have ever done is go out of my way for these people and it has never EVER made any difference whatsoever ~
This brings me to the big trauma…I just had these feelings that with all of this that I was missing something so I began to pay a lot more attention. I discovered that indeed my fairy tale husband whom I adored and loved more than my own life was cheating on me.
I confronted him …he admitted it. He had been seeing this woman for about 6 weeks ~ AAAAHHHH.
But things were not clear, cuz by this time I’m working it…and I know he is LYING now…so the truth moves forward for me and I confront him again.
He then admits to having rented an office in another city with OUR COMPANY for TWO FUCKING YEARS…and he was meeting men to suck their dicks and women to lick their pussies ~ he claims it was about 8 people in total over the time.
This was 3 months ago ~
I’m reeling …still ~ working ~ and sometimes I think I’m losing it, totally.
Now the whole story is starting to come together…pieces of it are being revealed to me in the most strange ways. He swears he has now told me the whole dark truth.
and he claims that no one knows…however, I am sure my Doctor knows. Here is how ~ when I found out this womans name I searched her on google…I find her friend, I add her to my hangout page …
she is the woman who works in the Doctors office ~ I went in their a couple of nights ago and she runs over to a woman in the waiting room and whispers in her ear ~ I DID NOT KNOW WHY THEN…but when I got home I sure did. So now this person whom I do not know is running around my Doctors office and the small village that I live in and gossiping about me. As if I did not feel bad enough already eh…
So here I am sitting in my house ~ I told him I have forgiven him but that was before he told me all ~ now I am here for one thing and I need help to do this.
This man, whom I thought I knew and now realize that I never did has made several names and address for sex sites and fetish sites and using my pictures as well. I went and found them, saw them and read a bunch of his postings …mostly lies about how much he loves oral sex but yet…I don’t recall having felt that in all this time ~ I’d say that is bull…I’m far more into oral sex than he is.
Is there anyone who would be willing to talk to me…help me, be my friend? I have NO friends here on this godforsaken fucking island that I can’t get off of! …and my family hasn’t talked to me in two years ~ I’m fucked up and I know my emotions are getting in the way of my work…
I know I sound pathetic and I apologize…I just don’t know what else to do at this point but keep on studying and working …Help
and thank you
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