Hi there 
Crucial I would say to go with your impressions in your dreams, if you feel that at that moment you had the very clear idea that it was a Succubus.
About what you mentioned about working for it~
Basically you see those beings take interest in us, and sometimes it can come from path life agreements - your consent is all it takes and is the essence of any ritual or all magick or experiences one can have.
You are by default infinitely valuable~your true Self is the source of all things and is the same Self than the Self of any Succubus (or archetypal spirit)
So you are, in essence, equals 
Now about your sadness - worry not - the physical, astral and all dimensions are present here and now all in the one cosmic mind - you share the same one Cosmic here and now ultimately -
So there is no real full separation other than that archetype being in another zone of the one same
space.
If you wish to manage things dealing with unknowns you can do several things:
You can verbally ask your higher self, that knows how everything works, exists in the here and now with you, and is you in an extensive way - is your own extended personal conscious psyche - and there’s even more to you as you ultimately are the cosmic mind itself) - it can manage all information and all that you interact with through time and space. has an overview of all things - it can work as a go-between between you and any-unknown factor in a safe and responsible way -
You can ask anything, as long as it is in mutual respect with your higher self and the spirits you try to befriend, you’re good - and rightfully giving thanks- it’s very important because your level of ‘mutual respect’ defines how much you yourself choose to open yourself to the other, making you more receptive, and making you more expecting to rightfully be treated in the same manner - through the same heartfelt connection.
Lowe and behold! 
You may think you don’t have all the answers, but here’s your supoerpower:
The power of the request/the question - that, is an almighty tool towards infinite possibilities.
You don’t always have to re-invent the wheel, you can just ask to the parts of cosmic consciousnessthe cosmic mind that already are fully conscious, and wise, in a practical sense (also thus in how to get things moving) such as your higher self.
The higher self is part of your soul, as well, so you can also ask questions to your soul, that’s also cool, that’s also helpful.
Growing in self-reliance is very important because it’s part of what can give you freedom, the freedom to get what you need, whenever you need it, to be heard, to be supported and understood.
And to not let your good fortune be left up to chance, nor your wellbeing when it comes down to it.. 
Now when it comes to that spirit, you can ask your higher self out loud (or in your mind even because you are always one in mind and even body).
Just do you from the heart, let it all out, express yourself..sharing all you feel you wish to share,
so the context becomes clear..
you can be ex extensive as you want.
Feeling understood, feeling heard, and feeling like you can be helped because you talk to the right beings can be infinitely helpful and soothing and are important in one’s life as well, from the heart.
That basis is always important.
-Something wise to ask your higher self is to always help you with all magick./cosmic mastery
-To help you place any information in perspective in the most personally self-empowering way
-To help you have contact with your spirit guides in general as well
-To help you to thrive and only thrive
-To help you always be safe (because in the vaster context, this is, after all the cosmos, even here and now - safety is always crucial because it also helps you to be able to relax more for the right reasons, within your body, which can help you enormously in all your spirituality.
Once that is done you can for example ask
your higher self, which indeed can be like a technical assistant in all things,
about that spirit and to get it’s name right and to show you how to connect with it,
to interact with it vividly in your dreams and in 3D consciousness life - and again, your higher self knows how all that works and can on top of that give you self-help tips too. 
Now, from this point on
You can also have another go-between ally of your choosing -it can be Lilith as well
that can help you explore the cosmic mind - usually such a spirit chosen by yourself can be asked to be a ‘matron spirit” . - such demand can be made on your request simply by writing it down on a paper and writing that request. - have a candle, black or white if you wish (though it doesn’t really matter that much) and ask Lilith to come through the fire (which is a gateway to any dimension of the cosmic mind) and offer your request and asking her for a confirmation.
Lilith can reshape your entire experience of reality, including of yourself, as a spirit of infinite potential.
I also know of even more advanced types of agreements you can make with her to be on top of your game in the cosmic mind together with her (though the effects are progressive for the sake of understanding)- ask me any time - but for this part of the text - let’s say even just that is a good start -
There’s always more to share but, maybe I shouldn’t overwhelm you all at once?
Kind regards 