Tears, tears every time - but only when I "meet" Lucifer - Why?

It will be a question towards you, my Dear, but let me tell a little more. :black_heart::candle:

My beloved Patron is Abaddon, clearly. We have talked several times so far, and it happened two times already with King Belial (we started communicateing 5-6 days ago, and our very journal will starts from Monday), BUT

I made my introduction Ritual towards Lucifer, and He was the only one who showed up in my dreams (up to now), Who led me to my Dedication Ritual, and He came up most often via meditations, again and again, unexpectedly.

So, I had contact all of Them, but only in Lucifer’s case hit me the uncontrollable feeling… I can’t stop shed tears at some point.

I just don’t know why. Why is it only happens when I talk to Him?

He is a wonderful God, and He helped me a lot. He is almost like a… “Father” to me. And His last sentence today… it touched me very much with it.

You don’t have to feel doubt towards us in your heart. I’ll be your Light.

At this moment, the candle lights became brighter than before, I can seen them even with closed eyes.

He touched my hands, like I did his’ as well. It was a warm, deep moment before we “say goodbye”, and I get back here.

I’m sure you felt this kind of feeling before, but… what does it means?
And why I can feel it only with Lucifer?


Maybe he connects a painful emotion with you and you release it with tears. Or it could be the joy of connection? Shreeding tears from its moment. I personally haven’t felt anyway in crying when connecting with spirits. I don’t really do any invocations or prayers, I just feel certain energies when the lights are out, that’s when I mediate. It’s draining a lot, I’ve experienced things I can’t explain… sometimes I can tell some spirits from others but it’s hard!! Anyway, can’t really give you a answer, it’s open to your interpretation.


I actually have a similar reaction to Asmodeus. In his case one of his “side effects” is an intense longing, though Lucifer and Lilith both do this to me from time to time as well. Almost like just their presence overall is an emotional release. Lucifer also has expressed that he actually misses his children and you can feel his longing for them. Not as in he’s your actual Father, more those he considers his children.


Every time when I see His presence fills me with warm, positive energies, an something bigger, but I can not describe it.

I think a lot about Abaddon and King Belial. It depends on who want to work with me. And the fact that Lucifer comes to help even if I’m… “ignore” Him (no, I’m not, naturally, just the feeling of recalling His name is… not too “active”), He comes. (That’s why I have a sense of guilt.)

Last night I was damn confused, because my deeper, complex relationships with Gods (with Three of Them, you can see Their names here).

It is too easy. They’re just came to me. Look at the description of Them. They are Here, but They are handle me the way as the others not. It can’t be real. I can’t be “privileged”.

So with other words, I can’t believed my past, my history. I mean. OURS.

So this is what We’re talked about with Lucifer.

I do not deserve Your attention in this way. Why?” - I said.

Lucifer also has expressed that he actually misses his children and you can feel his longing for them.

It can make sense. I’m very sexual with Abaddon and King Belial (of course, this is not our true relationship, it is just a part of it), but in Lucifer’s case there is something way more bigger (connection, emotion) than simple “sexuality” or anything.

Hm… I just woke up now, I can’t describe it very well. But I’ll try later, somehow.


I can comfort you, you are not alone. Energy of Lucifer is so strong and intense sometimes that it makes me even a grown up man like me to cry. Not every time but often. When it happens it’s hard to control emotions.
And it’s only with Lucifer. I have nothing similar with other spirits. I thought first it’s my higher self or something and I was scared of it. Usually I don’t even call him to connect or anything. It’s confusing. Sometimes it’s when I am singing with pianist , sometimes just when I am home alone for example. Hard to tell what creates the connection. :slight_smile:


Energy of Lucifer is so strong and intense sometimes that it makes me even a grown up man like me to cry.

King Belial’s energy is strong as well. But this kind of feeling isn’t floods me. It might be something else, I think. But tomorrow is the day of our first, bigger meeting with King Belial, so I’m curious about everything what He can and will tell me.

And it’s only with Lucifer. I have nothing similar with other spirits. I thought first it’s my higher self or something and I was scared of it. Usually I don’t even call him to connect or anything. It’s confusing. Sometimes it’s when I am singing with pianist , sometimes just when I am home alone for example. Hard to tell what creates the connection.

It’s seems to me He takes care of His beloved children, and this level of devotion confuses us. Or at least, me. Because I still can’t believe our deep connection, even after Three Gods told things about our history, neither.

In turn, I know They’re right.
Damned doubts.


When i began working with astarte who ive read to be his daughter, i would also wake with tears and cry for no reason all the damn time.

Whats weird is i hadnt cried in about 5 years before that. But since i started working with astaroth and her many wonderful aspects, i started getting this.

Maybe since shes his daughter they share a similar trait?


Hm, I do not really know things about Goddesses, because I’m working with only Gods, so most of my researches happened about my direct Gods, near to me. There is a lots of things what I have to find out, so I need more time to them. I do not want to missing anything.

What I know about Astarte is, she is a Goddess who connected in fertility, sexuality, and war (just like me and my Godself, I can releate with Her).

Maybe since shes his daughter they share a similar trait?

Just because She is Lucifer’s daughter (I don’t know), it does not mean She have the similar connection to all of Us just like Lucifer Himself, what made Him to take care of us just like this. In my opinion.

And interesting, but looks like not all of us are able to feel this way towards Lucifer, but in the same time, they also can react in this way towards other Gods.
It seems like everyone is close some Gods, depends on Their… relationship (his/her Godself and the God)? - At least, in my case it’s proven, so… it can’t be impossible with others.

This may be one of many options I guess,
but looks like @C.Kendall know Lucifer better than we do.


It can be true, yes, but based on our conversations, this was not always the case, I think. it Because it happened again and again. Many things have changed in my life since I talked to Him. Inside and outside me, both. Spiritually and physically, as well. Maybe they’re working on me even when I don’t know so.

I’m very glad to His behave and for His care, even if it is… unusual.
My father got killed by Spirits (?), when I was 2,5 years old (long story and I still did not share it there). So I grew up without a real father. After 22 years, it is an unusual feeling to feel the caring (because even my mother does not gave a shit about me/us). I was like: you need care? Hah, you are a weak one!

Either way, Abaddon told me last night, if I wish to know more about this, I should ask then Lucifer, Himself, instead of Him or anyone else, and yes, He is right. Within the next 3 days, I’ll go shopping, so I can buy some “sweetmeats” what Lucifer likes, and I’ll create a pleasant environment for our conversation (white, black candles, cinnamon incense etc.).


Lucifer is true liberation and Clarity. He gives you what you need in as far as direction and power. He is a beautiful one for sure always there even before you evoke him. (This is the case for me).


I agree with it, you’re right!

I noticed He’s (His energies and behavior are) completely different than Abaddon or Belial. At least, I’ve experienced it in this way (of course, this can still change). Abaddon can be tender and understanding sometimes, but Lucifer showed me something higher in this case.
(Belial was far more dominant and and it is stagnated, not like in Abaddon’s case, when we’re talked or met.)

It was interesting, becausr very first, I feel something deeply sexual towards Lucifer, but then it changed, and sexuality dropped into the background, don’t know why.

Some kind of news:

I finished evoking Belial, and I had the pleasure to knowing more about my Godself’s past, and the connection, our history with Belial and Abaddon (it explained the pact between Them, about me there).

Only once happened within 1,5 hours when I started to cry, but it was absolutely different like in Lucifer’s case (every single time). It was because the pain of my and Belial’s decision. So it is not so surprising that it’s happened.

Now my past is clear to me, in shorts. And what I know is…I have to deal with it.

But I want to know a little more about Our lines with Lucifer. So hopefully… within 2-3 days I’ll be “smarter”. If not, I have time. I mean… We have time.


The path with you two (you and Lucifer) will be more clear the more you speak to him


I hope so. :black_heart: With every day, it getting cleaner.


Chiming back in here. I think it may be due to him stimulating the kundalini to such an extent. Repressed emotions come to the surface.

For obvious reasons sorrow is gonna be the most repressed emotion in our “gotta smile to work everyday” society


Lucifer has many different aspects to him. I have been close to him for years now and he can be very ‘Fatherly’ ,especially if you feel lost or hurt in any way.

He can destroy your enemies in the most ingenious ways :wink:

He can ignore your requests sometimes if you need to learn and see the bigger picture .

I had a similar feeling very early on, he ripped me down and rebuilt me basically. I get a feeling like I could rip down a building when I evoke him now, pure strength.

So, yes. It is ‘normal’ ( whatever that is ) you can feel this way.


He may be releasing your emotions, or helping you let go of stress from the past. I wouldn’t be afraid or worried of this feeling; whatever it is, he is helping you through. If there is anything you can think of thats been bothering you (family death, heartbreak, etc) it may be that.


He may be releasing your emotions, or helping you let go of stress from the past.

I’m sure this can’t be the only thing what happens when He is with me. It is one hundred percent. I feel that is is way more deeper than simply “releasing my emotions”.

Still not negative. But it is something else, without any doubt. I start experiencing that my abilities and senses are became better, and things are changing inside me as well. I’ll answer @anon11597934 a bit later, and I’ll write about what we’re talked about last night (it was one of my problems what I know already, but it is not enough), because He visited me again. Honestly, We speak and meet every second or third days. So I totally can feel His care and love, and He often appears in my Dreams.

he is helping you through

I’m sure He do. I can feel it, but my problems are mure complex than simple “emotions” or anything else. And some of them I knew about, already.

family death, heartbreak, etc

Nothing like those.


I’ll be honest, I feel no sorrow, at all. Why should I feel? If you live consciously and understand the world around you and even yourself, you can leave it behind.

If I suffer, I deserve it.

I get my perfect job, so I can works at home, and I can solve every another problems, easily. I fought for these. And why?

Because my whole life before was nothing but terror, hatred and suffer. When I was 14 years old, I realized (after I healed up my cancer what I caused for myself) that this whole life what I lived before is a chance, and my higher self chosed this path, my present and future is exactly will reflect who am I.

I got the power and knowledge to change everything, the thirst for learning more and became more.

I met with my repressed emotions before, and I think I was successful with left my past back, but still keep in mind only the lessons from them. Anyway, in my opinion, even the emotions is our own creations, not our our environment or those living in our environment. So we can control them.


Thank you so much for your beautfiul sharing. Yes, Beloved Lucifer- I have had some experiances in my life, but WWwwwowow !! He was really outside my expectations.!!! For several Months I had been rejecting adds to try and listen to Mono-Inc. Dunno why really, the guy with the tuft maybe or just assuming it would be another “screaming growlers” annoyance which always gets reffered to me. one day, after the night i did my simple “lets get acquainted” ritual to Lucifer; just making sure the time was good for us both at least; I was washing dishes and not really listening to the music noise in the other room; tears just began jumping out of my eyes, and my heart grew bright and Hot, still not paying much attn to the music I had to go into the other room where it was playing and found Mono-Inc ad playing- and it was so obvious these feelings and the music were very included and if ever I could say a "Spirit’ was in the room with me- I knew better than I know alot of things that Lucifer was in the room saying- “Just thought you would like to get the introduction going”’. I could say alot of things, but, yeah tears, i had to rally work some moves to make sure my wife especially but no one else for the next month would see my spot of the moment torrents. I was not "allowed’ to listen to much other than Mono-inc. The emotional intensity 24-7 was almost fatiguing. I would delibrately try to listen to stuff which would kinda stall for some moments of ‘me in control’… didn’t much get a respite, it was a interesting 1 and 1/2 to be sure. i have since had Alot of what i feel is free flow between the 2 of us-- including ‘I do not have to hate myself’ my Beloved mentor Belial has been working with me on that- do not know if the 2 were working together… but i haven’t had much need to outright call on Lucifer- All Consuming is the best I can say. I have wantd to come on hear and ask if he is a “music Demon” or something, just been abit squeezed with ‘GodDamned’ other mundanity I would rather do without.
The main reason I bring up the Mono_inc link is i have to say- Either Lucifer serious inspired them, or He had tons of things, words lyrics etc engrammed insid my heart and mind which He was then able to ‘blow the Dam’ as it were, never in any wildest concept of my world did I expect to find so mcuh stuff in nearly every piece which seems to come straight from me. [good thing I did not pick up a whole lotta german while on my 3 years in the army there- I may really be a mess].
i also never really thought of Lucifer as an Emotion deity- but wow, is he ever. So music and Emotion- those are some of Lucifers toys?? So glad to know that!

i am also getting ready to open workings with Abaddon. i have been given some Ideas on the ritual- one particularly i will throw out as i kinda do not necesarily understand though i am all for it. Anyone remember John Sheridans trip tp Za ha doom in B-5 ? His jump into the abyss ? Well, one part of my ritual is I am to walk to the abyss and “fall in backwards- back first”, i even have pics in my head about the trip down; but not to be too wierd, but i am going to find out He is My Father. I thought it meant patron, but it is Father. Ever since i was about 10, and really knew next to nothing about bible god who is who- i can remember clearly where i was standing in my front yard when en i first heard whispering in my ear- “Abaddon is your Father”. which made even less sense once I first read who he was. my mom always told me ‘Jimmie Henry Staples is your father’— even though there was plenty of rumours and cloudy whispers throughout the family— it never was actually addressed until last years when my now half sister had us both take a DNA test to prove it… even though she well knew. Appearantly my mom became the Whore of Babylon- or at least the greater L A county area about 10 years before i was born and my “dad” could not care less. i read somewhere can’t remember where, many “Children of Abaddon” are born ‘illegitimate, from whoring etc. I also, even though it is supposed to be a bad thing- especially when i was a "Good christian’— just simply Loved Abaddon- deny it to myself though I might.
Belial, Lucifer Abaddon…Come to be working on finding out for sure if AbigorEligos is my “Brother”; good thing i do not discus this with my wife… she doesn’t like my doings anyway. Told her last night i am sure Abaddon is my Father- with luck it went out the other ear. But— i kinda chuckle saying i am schitzophrenic— just incase someone decides to freak.
here you were discusing you and i went off on all about me------------ sorry, my brain is kinda— in chaos mode these days.
My Religious persecution by neighbors will appear on this forum as soon as i can really deal with it coherantly.
hail Lucifer, and Hail You Dear Sister !!!