Yes. I am the Fuego that used to do GD magick and Tarot readings.
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Saturday, May 15, 2021
Dreams: None recalled. Tossed and turned, so anxiety was present, or small dreams non traumatic or non violent or non esoteric. Had discussion with sister about an automatic writing that memories were recalled. Could have been working through those memories.
Physical Notes: Teeth hurt. Tired. Used a gram or less of low to mid grade weed for relaxation and sleep aid. Doubled antipsychotic and near double anti depressent. Back on medication schedule. Have not exercised but had urge to do so. Had urge to do laundry but did not do so. Urge to heal.
Mental Notes: Replies to posts on balg. Several thoughts, one was to draw my own tarot deck or paint in king and queen scale.
Synchronicities: None yet today, thought I recognized several people,didnt get paranoid.
Readings: My notes and journals. Therapy journal and handouts. Golden Dawn ritual books by regardie and ciceros. Other books on psychology, particularly hyatt, though considered james.
Psychic Exercises: Some will be done as visualization. Working to get all senses worked on. Try from anxiety freakout items as using all senses during closed eye visualization, NOT DONE.
Tarot readings. NOT DONE.
Object Sensing exercises. See sensory exercises. NOT DONE.
Evocations - NOT DONE.
Meditations:
Astral Temple - NOT DONE
Core Shamanism - NOT DONE
Breathing - DONE. 3-4 count.
Tree merging/grounding. DONE.
Seven day observe mental chatter challenge. NOT DONE, entries below from Friday
Location: Home.
Environment: Smut Peddlers Fuck You Thats Why played, Slayer playing Seasons in the Abyss among other MetalPunkThrash playlist.
Posture:Leaning back in a lazyboy position, head against pillow against bedroom wall, feet and egs flat, feet against dresser.
Time: 5 minutes.
Distractions: Music, typing.
Breathing: in silent out silent.
NOT DONE
Visualizations - NOT DONE
Rituals: Slept listening to a four hour Necronomicon audiobook off youtube.
Wards- NOT DONE. Considered LBRP.
Shields - NOT DONE.
Groundings - None yet this morning, but have merged with a tree several days this week at therapy center. DONE.
Sunday, May 16, 2021
Dreams: None recalled. Tossed and turned, so anxiety was present, or small dreams non traumatic or non violent or non esoteric. Had discussion with sister about an automatic writing that memories were recalled. Could have been working through those memories. Could have been reacting listening to Necronomicon audiobook.
Physical Notes: Teeth hurt. Tired. Used a gram or less of low to mid grade weed for relaxation and sleep aid. Tripled antipsychotic and double anti depressent. Back on medication schedule. Have not exercised but had urge to do so. Had urge to do laundry but did not do so. Urge to heal.
Mental Notes: Replies to posts on balg. Several thoughts, one was to draw my own tarot deck or paint in king and queen scale. Thought of Sumerian vs Israel and Egyptian magic.
Hobbies to throw entire self into each as an own act of magick.
Synchronicities: None yet today, thought I recognized several people,didnt get paranoid.
Readings: My notes and journals. Therapy journal and handouts. Golden Dawn ritual books by regardie and ciceros. Other books on psychology, particularly hyatt, though considered james.
Psychic Exercises: Some will be done as visualization. Working to get all senses worked on. Try from anxiety freakout items as using all senses during closed eye visualization, NOT DONE.
Tarot readings. NOT DONE.
On anxiety and coping, make a matrix of five, five senses in columns and 5-20 rows of things you like corresponding to it. Then, gather items that are or can be these row items, and place in a freakout bag.
Synchronicities: None yet today.
Readings: BALG posts. Replies. My notes and journals.
Psychic Exercises: Some will be done as visualization. Working to get all senses worked on. Try from anxiety freakout items as using all senses during closed eye visualization, NOT DONE.
Tarot readings. NOT DONE.
Object Sensing exercises. See sensory exercises. NOT DONE.
Evocations - NOT DONE.
Meditations:
Astral Temple - NOT DONE
Core Shamanism - NOT DONE
Breathing - DONE. 3-4 count.
Tree merging/grounding. DONE.
Seven day observe mental chatter challenge. STARTED…
Location: Home.
Environment: Smut Peddlers Fuck You Thats Why played, Slayer playing Seasons in the Abyss among other MetalPunkThrash playlist.
Posture:Leaning back in a lazyboy position, head against pillow against bedroom wall, feet and egs flat, feet against dresser.
Time: 5 minutes.
Distractions: Music, typing.
Breathing: in silent out silent.
STARTED.
Visualizations - NOT DONE
Rituals: Listened to Bornless Ritual and spojke it a few times before bed. Slept listening to a Bhuddist text and Tao Te Ching off youtube.
Wards- NOT DONE.
Shields - NOT DONE.
Groundings - None yet this morning, but have merged with a tree several days this week at therapy center. DONE.
Tuesday (Mars), May 18, 2021
Dreams: None recalled.
Physical Notes: Back is sore.
Mental Notes: Private.
Synchronicities: None yet today, thought I recognized several people,didnt get paranoid.
Readings: My notes and journals. Therapy journal and handouts. Golden Dawn ritual books by regardie and ciceros.
Psychic Exercises: Some will be done as visualization. Working to get all senses worked on. Try from anxiety freakout items as using all senses during closed eye visualization. DONE.
Tarot readings. Requested Angel Oracle reading from MiKu. DONE.
On anxiety and coping, make a matrix of five, five senses in columns and 5-20 rows of things you like corresponding to it. Then, gather items that are or can be these row items, and place in a freakout bag. STARTED. Also started New Mage Starter kit. Incense, oil, candle, and bbq lighter, paper and pen … adding blue bowl and cup.
Synchronicities: None yet today.
Readings: BALG posts. Replies. My notes and journals.
Psychic Exercises: Some will be done as visualization. DONE.
Tarot readings. NOT DONE.
Object Sensing exercises - Visualized an orange from touch to taste with all five senses with eyes open. DONE.
Evocations - Evoked @MagickVigilante to scan him. DONE.
Meditations:
Astral Temple - NOT DONE
Core Shamanism - NOT DONE
Breathing - DONE. 4-4 count.
Tree merging/grounding - DONE.
Ward/Shield - DONE
Seven day observe mental chatter challenge. STARTED…
Location: Home.
Environment: Bedrooom listening to music just concentrating on breath and journal.
Posture:L shaped
Time: 5 minutes.
Distractions: Music, typing
Breathing: in silent out silent, 4 fold count. STARTED.
Visualizations - Stood outside feeling the earth below me, sat down outside during a therapy mindfulness exercise as 54321 senses. Also, in a reply writing about imagining an orange, I did it mentally while typing. DONE.
Rituals: Qabalistic Cross, Drawing Down the Moon circle. Neophyte, Theoricus signs. DONE.
Wards- Stood at South, arm outstretched with first finger only out, then stepped West, then stepped North, then stepped East, and returned to South, with arm and finger stretched straight out the entire way, then pointed straight down, pulling down Spirit; visualizing white light in a circle around me. Fent tingly and saw the white light circle enveloping me like in a container. Then the light shifted to blue (indigo from Luna?).
Then did Qabalistic Cross with “Thou art the power and the glory forever and ever” (arms in theoricus, then clasped hands yaga style with) “Amen.” DONE.
Shields - Stood at South, arm outstretched with first finger only out, then stepped West, then stepped North, then stepped East, and returned to South, with arm and finger stretched straight out the entire way, then pointed straight down, pulling down Spirit; visualizing white light in a circle around me. Fent tingly and saw the white light circle enveloping me like in a container. Then the light shifted to blue (indigo from Luna?).
Then did Qabalistic Cross with “Thou art the power and the glory forever and ever” (arms in theoricus, then clasped hands yaga style with) “Amen.” DONE.
Groundings - Stood outside feeling the earth below me, sat down outside during a therapy mindfulness exercise as 54321 senses. DONE.
Wednesday (Mercury), May 19, 2021
Dreams: None recalled.
Physical Notes: Back is sore. Freaked out. Had to ground, ward and shield last night.
Mental Notes: Private. Met a fellow LHPer last night that really knew the Bible, Gnostic texts and other stuff. Could swear he was channelling a few guys, he had a blue capped table lamp that looked slightly like the Lucifer sigil.
Synchronicities: Last night and yesterday was quite a bit all about the color orange. Noticed orange a few places, and a orange car drove by last night while walking to the fellow LHPers place.
Readings: My notes and journals. Therapy journal and handouts. Golden Dawn ritual books by regardie and ciceros.
Psychic Exercises: Some will be done as visualization. Working to get all senses worked on. Try from anxiety freakout items as using all senses during closed eye visualization. DONE.
Scans: @Snow88 and @Tiger DONE.
Tarot readings. Requested Angel Oracle reading from @MiKu. DONE.
Synchronicities: All about Orange.
Readings: BALG posts. Replies. My notes and journals.
Psychic Exercises: Some will be done as visualization. Mental LRP and white circle when instensity got too high last night. Did a QC and circle at sunrise. DONE.
Tarot readings. Thinking of drawing my own deck. NOT DONE.
Object Sensing exercises - Visualized an orange from touch to taste with all five senses with eyes open. DONE.
Evocations - NOT DONE.
Meditations:
Astral Temple - NOT DONE
Core Shamanism - NOT DONE
Breathing - DONE. 4-4 count.
Tree merging/grounding - DONE.
Ward/Shield - DONE
Seven day observe mental chatter challenge. STARTED…
Location: Home.
Environment: Bedrooom listening to music just concentrating on breath and journal.
Posture:L shaped
Time: 5 minutes.
Distractions: Music, typing
Breathing: in silent out silent, 4 fold count. STARTED.
Visualizations - Orange synchronicities. Will meditate on this today. DONE.
Rituals: Qabalistic Cross, Mental LRP aflaming. Drawing Down the Moon circle. Neophyte, Theoricus signs. DONE.
Wards- Stood at South, arm outstretched with first finger only out, then stepped West, then stepped North, then stepped East, and returned to South, with arm and finger stretched straight out the entire way, then pointed straight down, pulling down Spirit; visualizing white light in a circle around me. Fent tingly and saw the white light circle enveloping me like in a container. Then the light shifted to blue (indigo from Luna?).
Then did Qabalistic Cross with “Thou art the power and the glory forever and ever” (arms in theoricus, then clasped hands yaga style with) “Amen.” DONE.
Shields - Stood at South, arm outstretched with first finger only out, then stepped West, then stepped North, then stepped East, and returned to South, with arm and finger stretched straight out the entire way, then pointed straight down, pulling down Spirit; visualizing white light in a circle around me. Fent tingly and saw the white light circle enveloping me like in a container. Then the light shifted to blue (indigo from Luna?).
Then did Qabalistic Cross with “Thou art the power and the glory forever and ever” (arms in theoricus, then clasped hands yaga style with) “Amen.” DONE.
Groundings - During discussion with a fellow Satanist (and did not know the other was a Hoodoo’er), got freaked out from the rambling and intensity, so grounded myself with a white circle and pentagrams flaming. DONE.
[/quote]
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And more orange sychronicities today.
Looked it up, why do i keep seeing orange everywhere, creative energy. Hod.
Thursday (Jupiter), May 20, 2021
Dreams: None recalled.
Physical Notes: Fever since late last night, left ear congestion and pain, medium headache. Had to put on AC full blast for a level temp of a walkin cooler and still hard to sleep. Finally got four hours sleep in two days. Energy low. Depression low, anxiety high. Pins and needles, burning sensation in feet and hands need to be seen to avoid amputation from nerve damage.
Mental Notes: Still freaked out about possibility of having lost spirit and soul. Prayed a few times. Gave thanks to God. Found four interesting quotes of 15 laws of Spartans. Wrote down in notebook. TBH, only wrote down the first four, but made me think. Looked up Quareia and Fraternity of the Hidden Light. Want to draw tarot cards today in therapy. Considered not going given fever and lack of sleep. Lots of outside activity last night and this morning had me on edge with guard up. Remembering more and more of what occurred with Will (Hoodoo) and Matt (Satanist), Will was speaking incantations and has mewntioned Lwa before to me. At one point I heard “kill him” and that was what motivated me to get up and out of there. Since then heard loose talk and seen door to apartment building with gang or occult graffiti on column and saw two crips vaguely mentiojing something.
REST of journal untouched, too much mental chatter at the moment.
Synchronicities: Last night and yesterday was quite a bit all about the color orange. Noticed orange a few places, and a orange car drove by last night while walking to the fellow LHPers place.
Readings: My notes and journals. Therapy journal and handouts. Golden Dawn ritual books by regardie and ciceros.
Psychic Exercises: Some will be done as visualization. Working to get all senses worked on. Try from anxiety freakout items as using all senses during closed eye visualization. DONE.
Scans: @Snow88 and @Tiger DONE.
Tarot readings. Requested Angel Oracle reading from @MiKu. DONE.
Synchronicities: All about Orange.
Readings: BALG posts. Replies. My notes and journals.
Psychic Exercises: Some will be done as visualization. Mental LRP and white circle when instensity got too high last night. Did a QC and circle at sunrise. DONE.
Tarot readings. Thinking of drawing my own deck. NOT DONE.
Object Sensing exercises - Visualized an orange from touch to taste with all five senses with eyes open. DONE.
Evocations - NOT DONE.
Meditations:
Astral Temple - NOT DONE
Core Shamanism - NOT DONE
Breathing - DONE. 4-4 count.
Tree merging/grounding - DONE.
Ward/Shield - DONE
Seven day observe mental chatter challenge. STARTED…
Location: Home.
Environment: Bedrooom listening to music just concentrating on breath and journal.
Posture:L shaped
Time: 5 minutes.
Distractions: Music, typing
Breathing: in silent out silent, 4 fold count. STARTED.
Visualizations - Orange synchronicities. Will meditate on this today. DONE.
Rituals: Qabalistic Cross, Mental LRP aflaming. Drawing Down the Moon circle. Neophyte, Theoricus signs. DONE.
Wards- Stood at South, arm outstretched with first finger only out, then stepped West, then stepped North, then stepped East, and returned to South, with arm and finger stretched straight out the entire way, then pointed straight down, pulling down Spirit; visualizing white light in a circle around me. Fent tingly and saw the white light circle enveloping me like in a container. Then the light shifted to blue (indigo from Luna?).
Then did Qabalistic Cross with “Thou art the power and the glory forever and ever” (arms in theoricus, then clasped hands yaga style with) “Amen.” DONE.
Shields - Stood at South, arm outstretched with first finger only out, then stepped West, then stepped North, then stepped East, and returned to South, with arm and finger stretched straight out the entire way, then pointed straight down, pulling down Spirit; visualizing white light in a circle around me. Fent tingly and saw the white light circle enveloping me like in a container. Then the light shifted to blue (indigo from Luna?).
Then did Qabalistic Cross with “Thou art the power and the glory forever and ever” (arms in theoricus, then clasped hands yaga style with) “Amen.” DONE.
Groundings - During discussion with a fellow Satanist (and did not know the other was a Hoodoo’er), got freaked out from the rambling and intensity, so grounded myself with a white circle and pentagrams flaming. DONE.
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Friday (Venus), May 20, 2021
Dreams: None recalled.
Physical Notes: Finally got ten hours sleep, 14 hours in three days. Energy low. Depression low, anxiety high.
Mental Notes: Looked up Quareia and Fraternity of the Hidden Light. Want to draw tarot cards today in therapy.
Synchronicities: Looked for none and received none, so now wondering how exactly syncronicities occur outside of assumptions of common things as random.
Readings: My notes and journals. Therapy journal and handouts. Golden Dawn ritual books by regardie and ciceros. Quareia study guides.
Psychic Exercises: 54321 closed eye visualization. DONE.
Scans: NONE.
Tarot readings. NONE
Synchronicities: All about Orange.
Readings: BALG posts. Replies. My notes and journals.
Psychic Exercises: NONE.
Tarot readings. NONE.
Object Sensing exercises - NONE.
Evocations - NONE.
Meditations:
Astral Temple - NOT DONE
Core Shamanism - NOT DONE
Breathing - DONE. 4-4 count.
Tree merging/grounding - DONE.
Ward/Shield - NONE
Seven day observe mental chatter challenge. NOT STARTED
Location: Home.
Environment: Bedrooom listening to music just concentrating on breath and journal.
Posture:L shaped
Time: 5 minutes.
Distractions: Music, typing
Breathing: in silent out silent, 4 fold count. STARTED.
Visualizations - NONE
Rituals: NONE.
Wards- NONE.
Shields - NONE.
Groundings - NONE.
- Deciding to follow the quareia program unless approached for a lodge program through GD or Thelema, as some structure is necessary.
[/quote]
Loving this song …
Saturday (Saturn), May 21, 2021
Dreams: None recalled.
Physical Notes: Finally got twelve hours sleep, Depression high, anxiety high.
Mental Notes: Thoughts drifted dark until going for a walk and smoking a J. The first house that struck me was a L shaped ranch red house. Scarlet in color, very well kept property. The Emperor Mars and Order came to mind. The next house was an oddly designed tri level house, Dark grey, brown and black. Saturn came to mind. Then the next house a happy green house, Venus came to mind. Then in finshing the tour of the planetary houses, were three yellow houses. It would make more sense to think of it as the moon, but Sol came to mind. Looked up Quareia.
Synchronicities: Tried to be unseen and not see anything. Also walked with earplugs in, so any sound was muffled allowing me to denounce the hallucinations as simply that.
Readings: My notes and journals. Therapy journal and handouts. Golden Dawn ritual books by regardie and ciceros. Quareia study guides.
Psychic Exercises: NONE.
Scans: NONE.
Tarot readings. NONE
Synchronicities: NONE
Readings: BALG posts. Replies. My notes and journals.
Psychic Exercises: QC, White circle ward.
Tarot readings. NONE.
Object Sensing exercises - NONE.
Evocations - NONE.
Meditations:
Astral Temple - NOT DONE
Core Shamanism - NOT DONE
Breathing - DONE. 4-4 count.
Tree merging/grounding - DONE.
Ward/Shield - NONE
Seven day observe mental chatter challenge. NOT STARTED
Location: Home.
Environment: Bedrooom listening to music just concentrating on breath and journal.
Posture:L shaped
Time: 5 minutes.
Distractions: Music, typing
Breathing: in silent out silent, 4 fold count. STARTED.
Visualizations - NONE
Rituals: QC
Wards- White circle DONE
Shields - QC/LIRP/QC.
Groundings - Mindfulness of breath
Deciding to follow the quareia program unless approached for a lodge program through GD or Thelema, as some structure is necessary.
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Sunday (Sol), May 23, 2021
Dreams: None recalled.
Physical Notes: Got 8 hours sleep Triple original anti psychotic medication amount, double original Zoloft prescription. Keppra same amount. Covid negative even with recent URI and hay fever. Attitude positive. Energy medium. Depression low, anxiety high.
Mental Notes: Looked up Quareia and Fraternity , following grimoires and quariea and angel grimoire along with golden dawn and modern magick, as well as LHP stuff.
Getting better with not freaking out after smoking weed in public by microdosing and micro exposure to public, with or without earplugs.
Synchronicities: Looked for none and received none.
Readings: My notes and journals. Therapy journal and handouts. Golden Dawn ritual books by regardie and ciceros. Quareia study guides. Grimoires. BALG posts. Replies. Profile topics by senior BALG members. My notes and journals. Modern magick, angel grimoire, other grimoires.
Psychic Exercises: 54321 closed eye visualization. DONE.
LRP, QC.
Scans: NONE.
Tarot readings. NONE
Object Sensing exercises - NONE.
Evocations - NONE.
Meditations:
Astral Temple - NOT DONE
Core Shamanism - NOT DONE
Breathing - DONE. 4-4 count.
Tree merging/grounding - DONE.
Ward/Shield - NONE
Seven day observe mental chatter challenge. NOT STARTED
Location: Home.
Environment: Bedrooom listening to music just concentrating on breath and journal.
Posture:L shaped
Time: 5 minutes.
Distractions: Music, typing
Breathing: in silent out silent, 4 fold count. STARTED.
Visualizations - NONE
Rituals: NONE.
Wards- QC/LRP/QC
Shields - Circle or white light
Groundings - See above.
- Deciding to follow the quareia program unless approached for a lodge program through GD or Thelema, as some structure is necessary.
[/quote]
Loving this video and song …
Monday (Lunba), May 23, 2021
Dreams: None recalled.
Physical Notes: Got 8 hours sleep Triple original anti psychotic medication amount, double original Zoloft prescription. Keppra same amount. Covid negative even with recent URI and hay fever. Attitude positive. Energy medium. Depression low, anxiety high.
Mental Notes: Looked up Quareia and Fraternity , following grimoires and quariea and angel grimoire along with golden dawn and modern magick, as well as LHP stuff.
Getting better with not freaking out after smoking weed in public by microdosing and micro exposure to public, with or without earplugs.
Synchronicities: Looked for none and received none.
Readings: My notes and journals. Therapy journal and handouts. Golden Dawn ritual books by regardie and ciceros. Quareia study guides. Grimoires. BALG posts. Replies. Profile topics by senior BALG members. My notes and journals. Modern magick, angel grimoire, other grimoires.
Psychic Exercises: 54321 closed eye visualization. DONE.
LRP, QC.
Scans: NONE.
Tarot readings. NONE
Object Sensing exercises - NONE.
Evocations - NONE.
Meditations:
Astral Temple - NOT DONE
Core Shamanism - NOT DONE
Breathing - DONE. 4-4 count.
Tree merging/grounding - DONE.
Ward/Shield - NONE
Seven day observe mental chatter challenge. NOT STARTED
Location: Home.
Environment: Bedrooom listening to music just concentrating on breath and journal.
Posture:L shaped
Time: 5 minutes.
Distractions: Music, typing
Breathing: in silent out silent, 4 fold count. STARTED.
Visualizations - NONE
Rituals: NONE.
Wards- QC/LRP/QC
Shields - Circle or white light
Groundings - See above.
- Deciding to follow the quareia program unless approached for a lodge program through GD or Thelema, as some structure is necessary.
[/quote]
Loving this video and song …
Monday continued.
Listened to/tried to speak basic Russian. I have Russian, French, German and Spanish on phone. Will try to get brain games back on there. Endeavor to be able to read and speak at least three languages relevant to history and future. Go back to roots and the source of all time.
Need to make calls to family today, and check in with them.
Reading a few grimoires.
Also reading Criminal Justice, Criminal Law, Business Management, HR Management, Calculus, and English Composition books. Keep up with goals and learn the mundane.
Trying to raise attitude, and vibration and frequency today.
Drew/created own major arcana deck by just element, sign, or planet on each one, and separated by four, then, picked up reverse stack top,
16. The Tower=The Victory over Splendour. Venus acting through Mars upon Mercury. Avenging force.
My meditation for why today, Monday is the card. Mouth, expression, tongue, the tongue as the avenging force? A lunar tongue of mars? Names or words of power.
Tuesday (Mars), May 25, 2021
Dreams: None recalled.
Physical Notes: Fair/multiple broken sleep pattern. Attitude positive. Energy medium. Depression low, anxiety high.
Mental Notes: Getting better with not freaking out after smoking weed in public by microdosing and micro exposure to public, with or without earplugs.
Synchronicities: Looked for none and received none.
Readings: My notes and journals. Therapy journal and handouts. Golden Dawn ritual books by regardie and ciceros. Quareia study guides. Grimoires. BALG posts. Replies. Profile topics by senior BALG members. My notes and journals. Modern magick, angel grimoire, other grimoires.
Psychic Exercises: 54321 closed eye visualization. DONE.
LRP, QC.
Scans: NONE.
Tarot readings. Day Meditation on card pulled – Peh yesterday, Kaph today – Kaph, or the Wheel of Fortune, was pulled today. Esoteric meaning hand or fist. Well, woven hands are common in a lot of places. Karma, perhaps? Time cycle, turn of the wheel. Mercy and Magnificance (nice day today) of Victory. Jupiter acting thru Jupiter directly upon Venus. DONE
Object Sensing exercises - NONE.
Evocations - NONE.
Meditations:
Astral Temple - NOT DONE
Core Shamanism - NOT DONE
Breathing - DONE. 4-4 count.
Tree merging/grounding - 54321 DONE.
Ward/Shield - NONE
Seven day observe mental chatter challenge. NOT STARTED
Breathing: in silent out silent, 4 fold count. STARTED.
Visualizations - NONE
Rituals: NONE.
Wards- NONE
Shields - NONE
Groundings - 54321
===================================================================
Wednesday (Mercury), May 26, 2021
Dreams: None recalled.
Physical Notes: Fair/multiple broken sleep pattern. Attitude positive. Energy medium. Depression low, anxiety high. In evening before midnight, had idea while organizing playlists for affirnmations and shamanaism, to try to pronounce two letter workds through english alphabet. Upon hitting EhAh (EA), it pronounced once as Yah. Not too far away from Ay-Uh-Huh-Yay from Middle Pillar Ritual, was going from A-B then decided to hit vowels first and stopped there.
Mental Notes: Getting better with not freaking out after smoking weed in public by microdosing and micro exposure to public, with or without earplugs.
Synchronicities: EA pronounced for english by a shamanic chant would eventuially be heard as Yah (Jah).
Readings: My notes and journals. Therapy journal and handouts. Golden Dawn ritual books by regardie and ciceros. Quareia study guides. Grimoires. BALG posts. Replies. Profile topics by senior BALG members. My notes and journals. Modern magick, angel grimoire, other grimoires.
Psychic Exercises: 54321 closed eye visualization. DONE.
LRP, QC.
Scans: NONE.
Tarot readings. Day Meditation on card pulled – Peh yesterday, Kaph today – Kaph, or the Wheel of Fortune, was pulled today. Esoteric meaning hand or fist. Well, woven hands are common in a lot of places. Karma, perhaps? Time cycle, turn of the wheel. Mercy and Magnificance (nice day today) of Victory. Jupiter acting thru Jupiter directly upon Venus. DONE
Object Sensing exercises - NONE.
Evocations - NONE.
Meditations:
Astral Temple - NOT DONE BUT REMINDED OF IT
Core Shamanism - STARTING REVIEW/INFO GATHERING
Breathing - DONE. 4-4 count.
Tree merging/grounding - 54321 DONE.
Ward/Shield - NONE
Seven day observe mental chatter challenge. NOT STARTED
Breathing: in silent out silent, 4 fold count. STARTED.
Visualizations - NONE
Rituals: NONE.
Wards- NONE
Shields - NONE
Groundings - NONE
Mindfulness Exercise- 54321
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will be editing.
Friday 5-28 thoughts in the am over coffee. There is no golden pussy, nor any torrential downpour of it over me and me alone of said golden pussy, get it together man boy. Mannish boy, face reality, which in the end is all an illusion anyway, to find your place in the universe. To find your place and your home. Your home which has no mortgage. Your job which nobody is needed as an employer nor a boss to “manage you”. Be golden, work on yourself so much nobody else can stand it.
Perhaps, how to steal fire from the gods in all places, what powers they are attributed, what comparatively do we have on earth? For example, a silver tongue, Carnegie and Toastmasters/TEDTalks etc?
Saturday (Saturn), May 29, 2021
Dreams: None recalled.
Physical Notes: Finally got twelve hours sleep, Depression high, anxiety high. Mood low. Sore back, particularly middle spine and plates. Day one no THC/CBD. Seroquel added with Abilify, Zoloft and Kepppra. Out of Keppra today.
Mental Notes: Talking about and to myself here, before anyone gets a hair movement in their rear.
So, on the 220% goetia/shemhamphoresh issue, Ive begun to write down at least the Goetia, as I burnt the Shem Grimoire by Farrell, and so far I cannot locate a public document on the names of the angels. I suppose I could start with the pathnames, and the angels on the qabalah paths.
Anyway, then I started wondering why i cannot do such a thing, and some of it is swallowing pride and apologizing to others, even if I wasnt wrong, or alternatively calling them on their dogshit, and getting to restored bridges/relationships/dignities.
Either that or setting assholes up with narcotics posession with a cop right nearby to bust them, to remove their dignities.
As far as a silver tongue, carnegie and toastmasters.
Etc.
And since we all have access to the largest library on earth, the internet, we should all have the opportunity to have PhDs in a subject without the paper scroll confirming it.
So, growing up is an expectation, effort and not laziness or procrastination.
I guess today was the day they told me to grow the fuck up.
On the path of affliction or adveristy, this is probably a social norm.
Most of us know the Lesser Pentagram Ritual, some up to Star Ruby and such.
However, it seems to me odd that at a Malkuth level/Earth grade, we dont use a dodecagram and instead an invoking or banishing earth LRP/GRP.
Then at Luna/Air grade, we dont use an enneagram. Hod/water we dont use an Octagram, At Fire/Netzach no Heptagram Etc.
What is the issue in using these advanced polygram rtituals?
This. This is what Ive been looking for as a solution to the question, how to springload an advanced ritual or spell. Now to study enchantment and spelling.
Split screening is like viewing two photos of yourself side by side. An alternate view is a photo of yourself and a calendar next to it, and a seal of a spirit asude of a photo of you or another.
The latter is to send a spirit next to someone, the middle to play with tour personal time space line to merge, and the first to attyne two versuons of yourself.
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Angelic Mantras: Angelic Words of Power and Mantras - #4 by Keteriya
Remote Viewing: How I remote view
Layered Spell:
Egregore:
Synchronicities:
Readings: My notes and journals. Therapy journal and handouts. Golden Dawn ritual books by regardie and ciceros. Quareia study guides. BALG posts.
Psychic Exercises: NONE.
Scans: NONE.
Tarot readings. NONE
Synchronicities: NONE
Readings: BALG posts. Replies. My notes and journals.
Psychic Exercises: QC, White circle ward.
Tarot readings. NONE.
Object Sensing exercises - NONE.
Evocations - NONE.
Meditations:
Astral Temple - NOT DONE
Core Shamanism - NOT DONE
Breathing - DONE. 4-4 count.
Tree merging/grounding - DONE.
Ward/Shield - NONE
Seven day observe mental chatter challenge. NOT STARTED
Location: Home.
Environment: Bedrooom listening to music just concentrating on breath and journal.
Posture:L shaped
Time: 5 minutes.
Distractions: Music, typing
Breathing: in silent out silent, 4 fold count. STARTED.
Visualizations - NONE
Rituals: QC
Wards- White circle DONE
Shields - QC/LIRP/QC.
Groundings - Mindfulness of breath
Sat 5-29 continued
Angelic Mantras: Angelic Words of Power and Mantras
Remote Viewing: How I remote view
Layered Spell: Info Gathering
Egregore: Info Gathering
Synchronicities: NONE
Readings: My notes and journals. Therapy journal and handouts. Golden Dawn ritual books by regardie and ciceros. Quareia study guides. BALG posts.
Psychic Exercises: NONE.
Energy Work: Masturbated almost to brink of ejaculation, then backed off and put it back in the holster.
DONE
Scans: NONE.
Tarot readings. Drew own cards of 22 pieces of paper with roman numerals on them. Drew The World, Key 21. Saturn/Earth … between earth and air grades. The world as it is, rebirth into the world. DONE.
Object Sensing exercises - NONE.
Evocations - NONE.
Meditations:
Astral Temple - NOT DONE
Core Shamanism - Info Gathering
Breathing - DONE. 4-4 count.
Tree merging/grounding - NOT DONE.
Seven day observe mental chatter challenge. NOT STARTED
Location: Home.
Environment: Bedrooom listening to music just concentrating on breath and journal.
Posture:L shaped
Time: 5 minutes.
Distractions: Music, typing
Breathing: in silent out silent, 4 fold count. STARTED.
Visualizations - Flaming room size pentagrams of white light. DONE
Rituals: QC/LIRP/QC DONE
Wards- White circle DONE
Shields - QC/LIRP/QC.
Groundings - Mindfulness of breath
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My journal is growing out of control. Perhaps other were right, taking too much on at any time is not healthy for myself or others. Core shamanism it is.
Where can I read my scan ? Thank you for your time
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