So sigils need to he burned or foil wrapped after use to prevent open doorways. Oops.
I guess foil wrap will have to be the method.
Apparently I needed a structured university program on becoming a magician. Well shit.
Looking at your list i think youâre piling it on kinda high. If I had to focus on one thing to the exclusion of others it would be core shamanism. You will kill a lot of birds with that one stone.
Dude you NEED a break, chill on the practice, relax, do what you NEED to do (day to day shit), and fuck off the rest of the time, bro. Sloth is one thing, but weâre all entitled to being a bit lazy, now and then. 
Yeah, well Noe Iâm being kicked out of here, so I donât have shit for time for magic anyway.
Well, things have changed.
Reading Wattles and Hill.
Will continue meditation, energy work, candle work, visualization, grounding, warding, and shielding.
I will believe in myself and have confidence in myself.
I will clean myself up.
I will take as good care of myself as I can.
I will find a channel for wealth inside myself.
I will turn my life around for the better.
Because despite anyoneâs opinion, I deserve abundance in all things good for myself.
Because few have gone through the amount of shit I have for the most part alone.
Where did you go
We miss you so
Without people like you
Forumâs quality has gone low.
I do miss Fuego 
I donât know, reading this guys journal you get the feeling he was doing a lot of spiritual work and not so much on the mundane and other things. Sometimes, when one does that, it happens that a person will put down the spiritual practice and just focus on mundane things. I went through a period like that myself.
I keep sending him light⌠so that he may find his way. Such a sweet soul!
I know this is an ancient entry in your journal by now but itâs amazingly beautiful! Thank you for sharing it!
This sigil feels familiar
Thursday, May 13, 2021
Dreams: None recalled.
Physical Notes: Teeth hurt. Muscles ache a lot. Tired.
Mental Notes: Im back. In addition to Major Depression and Generalized Anxiety as a teeen, in 2016 was diagnosed with Borderline Personality. Currentl after two psychotic episodes and a month+ of social, environmental and work harrassment and humiliation, am now in partial hospitalization and been diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia. Came back here after a deliverance a couple years ago, to try to make sense of mhy hallucinations (auditory, visual and tactile), and delsions, to make sense of it all.
Still a Christian, but cannot love or forgive others, but cannot shake all this shit. On an anti psychotic as well as anti depressant and anti seizure med.
Synchronicities: None yet today.
Readings: None.
Psychic Exercises: Some done as visualization. Working to get all senses worked on. NOT DONE today yet.
Tarot readings. NOT DONE.
Object Sensing exercises. NOT DONE.
Evocations - NOT DONE.
Meditations:
Astral Temple - NOT DONE
Core Shamanism - NOT DONE
Breathing - NOTDONE.
Seven day observe mental chatter challenge. NOT DONE YET.
Location:
Environment:
Posture:
Time: minutes.
Distractions:
Breathing: in silent out silent.
NOT DONE
Visualizations - NOT DONE
Rituals: Listened to Bornless Ritual and spojke it a few times before bed. Slept listening to a Bhuddist text and Tao Te Ching off youtube.
Wards- NOT DONE.
Shields - NOT DONE.
Practical Psychic Self-Defense
Groundings - None yet this morning, but have merged with a tree several days this week at therapy center.
[/quote]
Welcome back!!!
Thank you⌠still getting my mind together, but pretty much starting from scratch again in terms of wards and shields and stuff. Lost a lot of my old abilities and stuff. At least my taste for metal isnt gone 
Glad to see a lot of you still on here, will try to act a bit more serious in terms of development and contribution, dont want to start a dear abby column on here.
Ahhh, listening to Slayer, Anthrax, Motorhead and now Ministry, and fond memories of slam dancing at Industrial Night at a local club in my 20s ⌠fond memories except for the one night I made the mistake of pushing the guy who was regulating the slam dancers (also a primary bouncer), when I did that and came back around, he pushed me so hard I flew across the room, and trying to catch myself, grabbed some dudes tshirt, tearing it in half and flew my rib cage right into the edge of the stage edge, that hurt but still got up and joined back in. Can only wonder what Harpos or St Andrews Hall in the Detroit metor area mustve been likeâŚheard about bloodied people walking or limping out of there on metal and industrial nightsâŚWhere a lot of metal bands got their start was at Harpos. Chicken wire and plexiglass from what Ive heard.
Chuckled for the first over a long period of time listening to Fight Fire With Fire by Metallica, and my mind went back to a friends graduation, the stepdad being a dick, telling him what he could play at his graduation, so John puts this on, cranks it, and his mom says âOh this sounds niceââŚuntil the guitar thrash kicks in. Lol.
Friday, May 14, 2021
Dreams: None recalled.
Physical Notes: Teeth hurt. Tired.
Mental Notes: Anxious. Tired due to Abilify, so tonight per Psychiatrist, take one extra Abilify tonight as one was taken this morning and not last night. Also taking 50 mg extra of Zoloft okay, and no THC, as it does not mix well with psychosis.
Enjoyed group therapy with talking about coping with anxiety as I smoked a joint yesterday and had a paranoia and anxiety attack. On anxiety and coping, make a matrix of five, five senses in columns and 5-20 rows of things you like corresponding to it. Then, gather items that are or can be these row items, and place in a freakout bag.
Synchronicities: None yet today, yesterday thought I recognized several people and started writing names down until my mind derailed and got paranoid.
Readings: Splitting on risk factors and treatment for NPD, ASPD, and BPD. DONE.
Satanic Bible, particularly rituals chapters. Matthew 4. My notes and journals.
Psychic Exercises: Some will be done as visualization. Working to get all senses worked on. Try from anxiety freakout items as using all senses during closed eye visualization, NOT DONE.
Tarot readings. NOT DONE.
Object Sensing exercises. See sensory exercises. NOT DONE.
Evocations - NOT DONE.
Meditations:
Astral Temple - NOT DONE
Core Shamanism - NOT DONE
Breathing - DONE. 3-4 count.
Tree merging/grounding. DONE.
Seven day observe mental chatter challenge. STARTEDâŚ
Location: Home.
Environment: Smut Peddlers Fuck You Thats Why played, Slayer playing Seasons in the Abyss among other MetalPunkThrash playlist.
Posture:Leaning back in a lazyboy position, head against pillow against bedroom wall, feet and egs flat, feet against dresser.
Time: 5 minutes.
Distractions: Music, typing.
Breathing: in silent out silent.
STARTED.
Visualizations - NOT DONE
Rituals: Listened to Bornless Ritual and spojke it a few times before bed. Slept listening to a Bhuddist text and Tao Te Ching off youtube.
Wards- NOT DONE.
Shields - NOT DONE.
Groundings - None yet this morning, but have merged with a tree several days this week at therapy center. DONE.
New entry 5/14/2021 5:09 pm
While listening to Shot in the Dark, I was reminded of a thought a couple days ago prior, while listeining to Stay Hungry by Twisted Sister, and it made me think about the other side, the forgotten or expelled, or runaways, and the homeless. An interesting thought train listening to the lyrics.
Lyrics:
Are you feeling the fire?
Are you ready to explode?
Are your dreams and desires
Riding down an open road?
Iâm like a runaway
A heart without a home
Others can laugh and play
Iâll fight for every inch i take
Iâm desperate to the bone
Stay hungry
Feel the fire
Stay hungry
Donât explode
Stay hungry
With desire
Stay hungry youâre alone
Be the hunter and the hunted
Keep your target in your sight
Donât be side tracked or shunted
Let pretenders feel your bite
And if you start to slide
Never show youâre weak
Donât feel youâve got to hide
Remember what youâre fighting for
Remember what you seek
Stay hungry
Feel the fire
Stay hungry
Donât explode
Stay hungry
With desire
Stay hungry youâre alone
All right!
If your fire is faded
And you canât feel it no more
If youâre tired and overrated
Let me show you to the door
Expect no sympathy
Thereâs none to be had
Open your eyes and see
Thereâs no room for the wannabees
The has beens or the bad
Stay hungry
Feel the fire
Stay hungry
Donât explode
Stay hungry
With desire
Stay hungry youâre alone
Stay hungry
Feel the fire
Stay hungry
Donât explode
Stay hungry
With desire
Stay hungry youâre alone
Are you the same guy as OP?