My Shadow(nomicon) journey begins (Completed)

[anon39079500]

This started with realizing that my wards had been essentially removed. I’d been doing some baneful workings as of late, but I just did a full recharge on one of them a few days prior. I was wondering what the hell had happened, yet I didn’t really feel threatened - just uneasy.

I go upstairs to go to bed and standing in my bedroom us a shadow person, about a foot from my bed. Just standing there. I did get a twinge of fear, to be honest, but I was also curious. It wasn’t menacing or threatening, but I knew it could be. I also knew that if I let my emotions overtake my curiosity, it may turn that way and I’d be in a fight I wasn’t looking for.

I tried a few banishing, such as the first half of the Rite of Hecat and some energetic cleansings. It felt like it was having some effect, but not quite like I was expecting. Finally, on a hunch (that wasn’t), I did some that encompassed more than just this physical space. And it left.

Belial was immediately there and I confirmed he had given me the hunch that had worked - this time. Essentially, he (and Abaddon) wanted to see how I’d react. “Put your Pele work away for now. Start the shadow current.”

I waited around a few days before doing it and could feel that I had caught the attention of a darker presence that would come and go, but which didn’t feel like danger was imminent. So, I bought the Shadownomicon and read it. I thought there was a lot of useful stuff in it and, after consulting with Belial again, agreed to work the path. I have no idea what I may actually gain from this, but I know I will get some chaos, disturbances, and hard truths that will have to be looked at and faced.

[anon39079500]

Tonight, I did the grimoire dedication. While I don’t want to type out the entire passage that mostly came straight from the book, I will include my notes from the working.

Wrote the consecration yesterday (the text) after cleansing the book. I removed remnants until it felt clear.

Lord Abaddon came to my book dedication. As I stared into the emblem of the Eye of Legion, I heard him say, “Yes…”

I cleansed and dedicated the book using Dragon’s Blood and Sandlewood incense. As I sunk into the dedication text and actively empowered the book, I heard him say it again. I did make some additions to the curse, about it not extending to children that (somehow) got their hands on the book and opened it on accident. The adults should know what to do, if they took the time to read the opening page.

Although Belial led me to start this path, it is Abaddon that stands here at the end of my ritual. “Abaddon, just so I can officially write this down,”

He cut me off, “You do not have to join Legion, due to the conflicts this would place on your other obligations. This is assuming you make it that far”. He chuckled at this last part. He knows the gauntlet has been thrown.

I nodded, he nodded, and he left.

(Some of the rest of this is redundant with the above text, but I captured it before it faded from memory and put it into my grimoire)

I’ve been feeling the presence of the shadow people since that night one showed up and left. I bought the book and as soon as I saw the Eye of Legion, I felt drawn to it. I felt a chord of some kind strike within me. As I read through it, I tried to pretend I could walk away from it, that I still had some sort of choice. I suppose I did.

Between Belial’s “request”, my curiosity of seeing one, and feeling the pull from Abaddon, I suppose the alternative was to go to the Light Side.

Where’s the fun in that?

[anon39079500]

Performed the Corruption of the Black Stone ritual today. For those that haven’t read the book, it is for giving “safer” offerings to shadow people and acts as a sort of battery for negative emotions/energy fed to it. In my case, this is a piece of smokey quartz.

In this ritual, the individual melds with the crystal, forms a bond with it, and uses this bond to reprogram the intent of the crystal. The imagery is to find the heart of the crystal, snuff this out, and do so when it’s quivering for air the same way you are (because you’re holding your breath), yet you’re commanding it to both give you all of the energy it has, yet it has to do a sort of suffering where it’s aching to get the energy back in. You’re supposed to cut the link to it prior to inhaling, to leave it in that sort of “vampiric” state. He states it better than I do, but I’m not about to type up his book.

Since this wasn’t an evocation, I didn’t do much more than cleanse the crystal and perform the steps he gave. I did perform the oxygen starvation three times, until I couldn’t feel the heart/spark anymore. It did feel as if the crystal had changed and I didn’t feel any light in it, like I had after cleansing it. Since this is the first crystal I’ve cared to buy, I’m not going to pretend to have a lot of experience with them to know anything particular about it’s state.

In the end, I wrapped it up and set it aside.

[anon39079500]

I did the Offering of Darkness, The Communion, the Offering Invocation, and the Initiation with Legion rituals. I was going to wait the 14 days suggested in the book, but Abaddon urged me to re-read it and continue.

Here are my ritual notes.

I will do the Offering of Darkness, The Communion, the Offering Invocation, and the Initiation with Legion rituals tonight. Full moon’s in 2 days, but Abaddon’s anxious (?) to get going with this. He came as I was writing down the rituals.
(Later)
Rituals were completed.

Everything went well through the severing of the veil. I feel I could’ve done a better job visualizing the cuts, but without “knowing” what to expect on the other side, I don’t know that I would’ve seen anything different. It is supposed to be perfect darkness.

When I got to the offering intonation, I charged the corrupted stone with some negative emotions on the spot. When I got to the spot where it says to leave the candle burning if the offering was okay, I expected it to go out. (post note - A single breeze caused it to flicker, but there is usually a larger breeze at this time of the evening and it wasn’t present at all).

When I continued to the Invocation of Legion, I was halfway through it when I heard, “Extinguish the candle”. I paused. I heard it again. I knew it wasn’t Abaddon.

It was from an entity I’ve never worked with before and whose signature was odd, more like an amalgamation, than a singular entity. This was Legion, but it hadn’t come through the veil. (post note - it had come from two different sides of the ritual area).

“If extinguish the light, I can’t read to continue with the purpose of this ritual. May I continue through this part?”

“Yesss”, I heard, with it trailing off, which had come from another direction.

I continued to the part where it says, “If you feel safe”.

“Extinguish the candle”

I did. There was more light than I expected, but not nearly enough to read or take notes by.

“I accept your offer”, Legion said. It wasn’t just a singular amalgamation anymore. The area began filling up with dark beings, Shadow People. “How many are there?”
“I don’t know. More than 30?” I replied. I was expecting fewer and Legion knew this.
“Guess and stop thinking”
I blurted out “62” without thinking.
Legion laughed and then it felt like the number doubled. There were so many it felt harder to breathe. I took it as it was, alternating between light concern and analytical wonder. Admittedly, the analytical thoughts were my attempt to control fear.

“I accepted. This meeting is over.” Legion said and started to leave.
I willed it back and it tried to leave again.
“I haven’t verbalized or intoned the agreement.”, I said and could feel it (the main portion of “Legion”) just on the other side of the portal, listening, toying with me. “You walk away from this, I don’t accept it. You don’t get the offering I prepared for the agreement”.

He hadn’t moved from the other side, but the legion of shadow people had stopped going through the portal. There were still dozens in the area.

I immediately felt a wide range of emotions that had no cause to be there. Anger, hate, betrayal, loss, despair…each lasting a few seconds, blending together at the edges.

“I’m going to light the candle and read the agreement, to state it verbally. You have accepted it with the addition I’ve added?” (I had changed the as-written agreement for a personal matter).

“I accept”
I read out the agreement and stated that since Legion had accepted it, I was going to seal it with my blood. When I did this, Legion did the equivalent, which he then told me to trace.

The ritual was done. “Legion, what should my next step be?”

“Practice that (performance) was awful.”

Whatever.

I dismissed the entities and asked everyone to leave. Abaddon was silent through the ritual, but felt he was very pleased in its “completion”, in a sort of way where you know you’re furthering his designs and you don’t know how. He left.

I repaired the portal/veil,cleaned the area up, and wrote in this.

Ironically, I feel so much less of a shadow presence in this area, compared to the past week, that it almost feels like nothing’s here at all. Almost.

(I spent some time gaming and reading afterwards to help ground, despite being really tired. The following morning, though, I woke up tired and felt like I hadn’t gotten enough sleep.)

[anon39079500]

I evoked Legion again last night (04JUL). Some of the notes were too personal to include. Some were personal enough to not make it into my grimoire, either.

Abaddon showed up right before the ritual got started, but didn’t say anything.

I got done with the introduction and the opening of the portal (cutting of the veil). Legion came quickly after calling for him. There were still dozens, but nothing like the initial display.

“It needs work” he commented, as I finished the dialogue inviting him into my space.
“It does” I replied and blew out the candle, that we may speak in darkness.

The rest is a summary of the conversation.

He accepted the offering from the corrupted stone, which I added to as I was setting up the ritual. As an Iraq vet with PTSD, setting up the ritual outside allowed me to send my discomfort and anxiety from the fireworks going off into the stone, to be used as part of the offering.

Legion gave me a shorter way of communicating with him. Essentially, using intent and that could be completed standing, with fewer requirements and most of the wording and ritualistic parts removed. (This wasn’t ground-breaking, but instead signified a hair less formality was in order. Or he had better things to do than wait around for the text I use for the rituals). He did say to contain the communication space inside of a circle or another defined area (circle shape itself wasn’t a requirement). He did insist upon the corrupted stone offering being used, but this was mainly for it’s worth as an offering.

I asked about the contact frequency, as this depends upon the person and what needs to be worked on. For now, it’s 1x/day, at least. If privacy wasn’t available, he gave me an impression of how to communicate by thinning the veil. (I’m trying to understand why I need to thin the veil to begin with, as I can call up Belial, Abaddon, or others without having to cut or thin it. Maybe experience will lend some guidance on it).

He did give me an idea as to the training cycle that will be put in place. At first, I will work with him. After a bit, I will work with him to a lesser degree and move on to one of the seven. This pattern will repeat, so I will spend a little time exclusive to the entity I’m working with and will begin working with another as I wind down with the current. There were a few where I will be spending more individual time, but he wouldn’t elaborate or give me a time frame for it. He said that in the end, he’ll let me know.

Now, it’s time to evoke him for today’s dose of darkness…

[anon39079500]

Did the short ritual after charging the stone.

He started by mocking me, “That was better” (it was wordless)
I ignored it. “You are here. What would you have me do?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Nothing. We will present you with things to overcome. You will overcome them.”

“That’s it?”. I found this hard to believe.

“Yes. Keep charging and offering the stone daily. We will work on (through) your problems.”

There wasn’t anything for me to say.

“There is one thing. This (type of) portal. You should leave one open.”

“Won’t that allow anything from the Abyss into my space? Why would I do that?”

“This one would. You forgot to set the restrictions when you created it.”

I realized he was right. I had set who I wanted to appear, but not hadn’t limited it to only Legion. And I felt pretty damn foolish.

“Nothing else is coming through this while I’m in/on (heard both words) it. Create another. Set the restrictions to who you invite. Invite me and those I want to go through. If there’s a problem, put it (the entity) back through the portal and/or talk to me.”

“Same safety agreement as when I commenced the working?”

“Yes, no changes. The agreement stands.”

“Very well, I will do this.”

“And you will progress for it (after putting in the work)”

With this, he was gone. I closed the portal, sealed the veil, and banished the area.

I did call upon Abaddon and confirmed that I needed to open it - with restrictions this time.

(Belial also confirmed that this needed to be done)

[anon39079500]

Last night, I performed the intro and ritual for opening the portal, with the intent that it stays open. I opened it outside, in my typical ritual area. Due to the impressions and guidance I got, I didn’t add an area boundary to it as I would if I were doing it for a ritual, but instead used an intent boundary and negotiated the conditions with Legion as I opened it and turned some functions (and responsibilities) over to him.

It is restricted to him or those designated by him for this pathworking, with the condition that I, or Legion, can invite or remove those entities that come through this specific portal.

The irony isn’t lost on my that two of the things I didn’t honestly believe in are now two of the things I’m using for this working - portals and shadow people. I’m not quite sure what to make of either of them yet, but can’t deny what I’ve experienced thus far.

I think part of me having to wait for their “lessons” is just part of the game where they decide when something happens. I’ll be sure to feed my irritation into the corrupted stone, but at some point, I’l simply feed it into the ground to spite them. Can’t be rewarding behavior like that, now, can we?

I was wondering earlier about what they get out of working with us, though. Sure, I get that the prevailing theory is that they feed on negative emotions and want to instill them in us (or are willing to instill them in others, for us), but that seems like an awfully convenient box to put them in. It’s kinda like saying succubi and incubi only come around for the sex. Sure, it’s a primary source, but clearly isn’t the only thing going on for those who have them more for companionship than sex.

Having only worked directly with Legion for a very short time, I can’t say anything from experience, but I hope to gain some sort of understanding in this area.

[anon39079500]

Lots of dark developments since my last write-up.

So, I opened the portal and have been verifying that it’s been kept open daily. While I know that intent can keep things open for a while, I don’t honesty know how long it will last. I’m thinking of it similar to a ward, where, every-so-often, it needs recharged. Guess we’ll see, but it’s still wide open at this point.

There have been three thing that have happened since opening that portal. I’m not convinced that they’re related, but will note them, just the same.

The first is that the day after I opened the portal, the car battery literally foamed at the mouth until it was no longer usable. It likely still had another year on the battery, but, they’re only good for a few years. I found a replacement battery easily enough, but we always needed a cap of sorts to bridge the replacement terminal size to the original (otherwise the electrical connection is spotty and,say, my wife gets stranded at places like the supermarket). I do have some metal working in my past, so after locating some scrap metal and a sub-optimal hammer (where is my pounding hammer?), I bridged that issue.

The second was that a rare type of fire happened in the sub-division court next to ours. In my housing area, losing power isn’t that rare. Happens once or twice a month when some drunk idiot decides to test a powerline or a storm rolls in. Normally when this happens, it lasts for a few hours and the local come up with some fix to eek the power system along until the next break, right? Well, this happened in the next subdivision and it was supposedly caused by some house fire (townhouse). Five hours in, they decide they can flip some switch right outside my house to restore power to the entire area. I’d blow it off, but swear I heard some laughter from either Belial or Abaddon. Legion didn’t care, as I channeled my irritation into the corrupted stone I use to “feed” him/them.

So, those are excusable, outside of Legion and Abaddon telling me I will have things to do. This ended up being today. A lot happened.

One of the things I was notified of before the power went out was that a grandmother of mine decided to not continue dialysis (I’m in Hawaii, she’s in the Mid-West). I wouldn’t have said anything, but Legion literally came to say it had nothing to do with that. While “sorrowful” isn’t something I would associate with Legion, I was surprised that he/they decided to come to me out-of-ritual, to tell me this, with Abaddon coming in after to make sure. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think Legion is some giant teddy bear or bleeding heart (by ANY stretch) but wanted to note that they came to me to let me know they didn’t cause this. More on this in a bit.

So, despite all of the danger and mysterious aura surrounding working with the shadow current of the Abyss, I was appreciative that they came to me to say they didn’t cause something(s) that had happened. I did notice that they didn’t claim the dialysis portion, but it’s better than nothing. The answer to whether they caused the battery (which only happened AFTER we were safe and had stopped driving for the weekend) was ambiguous. The power goes out often. I had several Goetics also contact me to let me know that Legion didn’t cause the issue with my grandma or persuade her decision. They don’t seem to have a problem being ambiguous or overt when it was them, so I appreciated knowing that.

Let me start a new post for the next part. This is getting long.

[anon39079500]

As continued from the last post…

So I had to talk to my grandma via video, as I am not allowed to travel, due to my job. We used social media to arrange a video chat so that my family and I could say goodbye. Not the happiest of days, but it has relevance to this, or I wouldn’t post it.

Several hours after the video chat, I get notified by both Abaddon and Legion that they want my in ritual, even if loosely. My first reaction is, “are you fucking kidding me?”, the second was, “this better be worth it”. The third was realizing that there was no way I could do a substantial ritual that would be successful. The fourth was that they may be trying to help me in some way. I considered all of them. In the end, I went outside, lit some incense, and let them know I wasn’t in the mood for nonsense.

Legion once again, came to say that he/they had no part in the decision or medical issues with my grandma, but did say that it played a part in the timing of their arrival. I can’t fault this, to be honest. It was the most honest, most pure motive I’ve ever felt from Legion or from other notables, to be honest. While it wasn’t apologetic (and shouldn’t have been), I did chuckle when he asked me to charge the stone with my emotion. It was an honest ask that benefited us both. I found the “humor” in it, even if it wasn’t really funny.

One of the things that I had seen glimpses of all day and that was explained to me was that while Legion is a conglomerate of…entities…it doesn’t have to always act that way. When someone has given enough…offerings… the group can “splinter”, if you will. Doesn’t mean there’s a rift or anything like that, but once some sort of “trust” level or similar has been achieved, individual members can decide to act, even if the whole group decides not to. Truth is, I don’t know what this means, exactly, in a practical sense. It would seem that the effectiveness of this would depend on those members that decided to act, yet, the petition was to be made to the whole and not the subset.

Another thing of note was that the primary “fuel” or preferred offering wasn’t blood, but negative emotion. I guess I figured that blood would be sought after, yet, I was informed that a combination of offerings would be preferred in this order - negative emotions, blood , or combination of those two. The “dosing” depended on the task, which seems reasonable. While I’ve had Deities/Entities ask for things other than blood, blood seemed to be a “distant” second. For some reason, this really threw me off.

I’ll end this here, as I’m a bit drained, can’t concentrate, and didn’t exactly sleep well. I did get some familiars from Abaddon and three name so specific shadow persons to call up, I haven’t spoken with any of them yet and don’t think I’ll be able to for a few days.

[anon39079500]

Legion’s had plenty of offering fuel these past few days. I can feel the shadow people around, but they don’t seem as active as I expected. I guess I’d watched too many A Haunting and My Haunted House episodes. Still with an open portal, I was expecting more things in the environment. So far, Legion has stuck to his word and the restrictions of the portal.

After my goodbye ceremony Thursday night, I felt really good on Friday. I had drained a lot of emotion into the ritual and the corrupted stone. It was odd, as I’m not the person to just “get over” something like that so rapidly.

Later that night and the following day were different stories. My wife would start getting overblown, irrational fears, mostly concerning our child. This would then start an argument, as I wasn’t falling for the fear. Definitely one of the biggest fights we’ve had in 15 years. I could see what was going on, could tell it was one of Legion’s “obstacles”, but couldn’t exactly explain that to my wife, who’s an atheist. Thankfully, it didn’t last 2 full days.

Honestly, it was pretty well done on Legion’s part. Not only did he get some juicy offerings out of it, he knew I knew what was going on and that I couldn’t really do much about it.

[anon39079500]

Ran into some difficulty with my schedule for my next being. I was told by Legion that I would be starting with the Colossal shadow in a few days.

I ended up getting sick Monday night, so he said I was going to be given a few more days before starting “unless we feel you can continue properly”. I’ve been giving the best daily offerings I could, sometimes simply attempting to send the nausea, headaches, and malaise into the corrupted stone. After all, are they not also offerings of pain and suffering?

Truth is, I can feel the Colossal already in the corners, at the edges, but I’m not up to an evocation of consequence. This is the best I’ve been able to think all day, but my arms are getting tired from holding up this device and typing.

Maybe in a few days.

[anon39079500]

On my drive home from my Coronavirus test, I could feel Legion tugging at the corners of my perception, reminding me about starting my work with the Colossal shadow. Like I was going to somehow forget when I could feel its presence at times, in different parts of the house.

I started to get pissed - until I realized they could probably feed on that. I do have to admit that this pathworking has caused me to reexamine how I respond to emotions that they could feed on.

Today, Legion came again, as I was laying in bed, resting from whatever virus this is. This time, he wasn’t asking for a full ritual, which I’m not about to do, but said he’d settle for a verbal declaration (with intent). I had charged the stone earlier with the misery of being this ill. Guess he wanted to move this along.

I could feel both of them just behind the open portal, listening.

"Colossal, I know you hear me. It is time to begin our working together in your aspect of the shadow.

I will feed your stone as best I can with my current condition. You may take from the stone as you please during this partnership, but you will not take (direct offerings) from me, my family, or my pets.

You will not harass or interact with my family or pets.

You will leave if I tell you to.

Agree to abide by this or don’t bother coming around. "

I felt a sort of agreement from Colossal. Legion gave his agreement.

“So it begins.”

No idea what the rush it to get this started. I just hope that I don’t get so worked up that I have a harder time recovering from this.

[anon482649]

@anon39079500

I started to get pissed - until I realized they could probably feed on that. I do have to admit that this pathworking has caused me to reexamine how I respond to emotions that they could feed on.

This just connected some things for me.
Excellent journal brother. I hope you are feeling better. This is a monumental undertaking.

[anon39079500]

Yes, thank you, feeling normal at this point. COVID test came back negative, so that’s good. Getting back into my regular, daily routine, but I haven’t been evoking other entities while doing this, so, despite my progress, I feel like I’m dropping the ball with the regular entities I interact with daily/weekly.

[anon39079500]

Quick update to capture some of what’s been going on.

Colossal hasn’t been showing up much in daily activity. He seems to prefer to lurk around the edges and definitely isn’t omnipresent. If he were to get really charged up, then he may be able to project that way, though. He’s an ambush artist and, according to the book I’m working through, fearful of direct confrontation he hasn’t set himself up for. So, any time I feel him lingering, I confront him or call him out.

I’ve made it a point to not feed him so much and this includes one of my biggest sources of irritation/anger - my commute. Despite work being 20 miles away, it’s not uncommon for it to take an hour to get there and an hour and twenty to get home, barring wrecks or rain (people here seem to treat rain like it’s black ice). It’s easy to get worked up when you don’t like driving and see it as a colossal waste of time.

Since I haven’t been getting (nearly) as pissed off, a few other things have happened. One was that instead of waiting around to face these tests, I’ve been getting some instruction.

One thing in particular that I haven’t quite wrapped my head around is that while they’re normally portrayed as “negative energy”, as in a lack of energy, this doesn’t quite seem to describe it (and I don’t know that I can do better).

It’s almost like they are the negative charge to our positive charge. I’m starting to wonder if they aren’t simply a specialized type of entity, similar to succubi and incubi. Instead of feeding on sexually charged energy, shadow people feed on negatively charged emotional energy. I realize this isn’t ground-breaking, but I have the feeling one gets when they know they’re on the cusp of understanding something and I’m trying to tease it out. Or they’re giving me just enough to get me frustrated enough to give the stone and extra feeding today (I’m so paranoid sometimes…).

Related to the above was that Legion showed me some ways of dealing with “rogue” shadow people, meaning those not part of Legion. Both involved asking it to join Legion and, if it agreed to (coerced, obviously), then under the authority of Legion, asking it to leave the person/place/thing and not come back. The second involved siphoning the entity into an energy ball of sorts and either dispersing the energy or filtering and absorbing it. Haven’t tried this out, but it was so vivid, I felt like I was doing it. I suspect I’ll get to try it out at some point.

Another area of instruction ties in with some lessons that I was previously being given by Belial and Abaddon. I don’t want to give the exact text, as the targets and the circumstances were very personal, but it involved calling for those willing (from Legion) to go after a few targets.

The lesson wasn’t about calling forth those from Legion, but about my authority to act in that manner. Of sacrificing the emotional turbulence of others. As with Belial and Abaddon, I was (am) still hung up on whether I have that authority to act in that manner, as the conversation wasn’t strictly about sacrificing emotions, but had the undertones of offering targets themselves as a sacrifice. To be clear, this wasn’t in the context of some random person walking down the street, but those parasitic to others (pedos, rapists, etc…).

There was some back and forth that I don’t feel was resolved within myself. Mostly dealing with if we’re all Gods/Goddesses, then where does the line get drawn at the authority of one God to sacrifice another? Thrown into the mix is that I have no qualms cursing the above parasites on my own, yet it was somehow not okay to offer them or their suffering as the offering/sacrifice.

I’m still conflicted about this.

[anon39079500]

I opened the portal back up after (mostly) closing it for Hurricane Douglas. I was charging some crystals and specifically wanted a more pure storm charge going on.

Not surprisingly, there wasn’t much in the way of shadow energy coming around that wasn’t Colossal. Even so, I feel he’s been holding back. I don’t think there’s going to be a lot of work going on with him once Legion feels I’ve completed my initial work with him. I’m not feeling any sort of “connection” with him. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad, as I could see some useful ways to use those type of behaviors on targets.

The house has started to get a little darker again. I was fielding a question about my corrupted stone when, after typing the answer, there were three shadows in my room. They weren’t there to cause trouble, but instead demanded that I fed the stone. I hadn’t done that yet for today and while I intended to, demanding I give a voluntary offering isn’t quite the most productive way to get one.

“If you want an offering from the stone, you’re going to have to do something beneficial for me”. Without saying anything or gesturing, they acknowledged/agreed and left. No idea.

I went outside to feed the stone and could feel Legion waiting at the edge of the portal. I went through the memories of the day and fed the stone. As I was doing it, those three jackasses come back and start taking from it as I’m feeding it.

After knocking them back and breaking their connection to the stone, we set a new rule no one’s entitled to the energy in that stone while it’s in my hands and/or being fed.

I started to get irritated and angry that they would have the audacity to try such a thing. I was about to send that energy into the stone. Instead, I sent it into the ground and dispersed it. And there was a smile on my face as I left the ritual area.

[anon39079500]

As a quick update to last night’s entry…

Apparently, some time needed to be made up by Legion And Friends. I spent most of the night falling asleep and getting woke back up not long after, for about four hours.

Crazy ass dreams, mainly involving people from the past, but that’s about all I remember of them. I do remember feeling the presence of the Shadow Woman in the area before falling asleep, so this may have had something to do with the dreams involving my current wife, ex-wife, and mainly females.

I haven’t formally been told to call to her by Legion, but I’ve been noticing her presence more and not just in the fringes.

The direction is pretty clear, so tonight, I’m going to call out to her. I wasn’t concerned about Colossal or working in his sphere and will continue to do so while I get started with the Shadow Woman.

[anon39079500]

I called forth the Shadow Woman and it has started.

I could feel her near me as I was writing the the invocation down into the grimoire for the ritual.

As I began the general invocation, I could feel her building up behind me to my left. This only had effects on the left side of my back. I started getting chills and had a sort of tingling sensation running up only the left side of my spine and the muscles on that side. The hair on my neck only stood up on my left side. This hasn’t happened before.

Where Colossal was a distant, threatening entity, she was getting close from before the actual start.

I began her invocation and as soon as I did, she started in, “You know I’m already here”. I got a few more lines in and I can feel her moving about behind me, changing not only the distance she was from me, but the slight direction behind me. I finally finished the equivalent to her enn and was relieved. I closed the grimoire and waited to see what the conversation would bring.

“I know what you really want.” she said as she started moving around again. The reactions to her felt like they were following her movement and ebbed and flowed with her voice. “I know who you want, even if you don’t see it. I do.”

If I had to describe her voice and manner in one word, it would be “sultry”. Instead of the “damsel in distress” and “psychotic ex-girlfriend” sides of her, I was experiencing the one spoken of the least. And she was doing all of this from behind me, with only a shadow shape and no features.

I could feel her lean closer (how?) and it was obvious that she was exerting some serious influence over my physical reactions and through them, my thoughts and emotions.

I collected my thoughts and realized I hadn’t yet given her the same restrictions I had done with Colossal. She, in turn, had already started trying to influence things to her favor.

“There are some conditions.”

“What? Oh, you’ve been playing with Colossal. He definitely needs them.” She shifted behind me more and I could see in my mind that she was thinking of leaning up against me. The effects continued.

I read out the conditions, which were almost exactly the same as Colossals. She agreed, but she was clearly “disappointed”.

She shifted tactics and started asking along similar lines as when she began speaking to me during her invocation. This time, it was about how I would be interested in situation X or Y and I was getting images from the past, which went along with the theme she was trying to influence me with.

She made a mistake at this point.She moved around to sit on my leg, but I felt nothing. The influence work she had been working on began to lessen a little (this was likely why she didn’t actually lean up against me earlier). The spell had slipped a bit. She immediately went back to her position behind me, but was about at my shoulder at this point.

She’s whispering to me and I’m feeling myself getting more and more tired, mentally and physically, exacerbated by a really poor night’s sleep and several hours of hiking earlier.

She leans in so close to my face it felt like there was only an inch or two between us, “Kiss me.”

Something inside me became wary and I flinched backwards a little. Before I could even question her, I heard, “Don’t”. I couldn’t determine who the voice had come from, but I recognized it somehow.

I shook my head. She dropped character and screamed something unintelligible for a second. Just as fast, she switched it back on. But the spell had been broken.

“Who was that?” I asked and Abaddon came forward. I hadn’t realized he was around.

I ended the ritual at this point and noted that even though I couldn’t see any features on her face, it felt like she was smiling as she left.

Abaddon then explained that while practitioners were under less of a threat from directly feeding shadow people, it wasn’t the best idea and I realized he was talking about the kiss. It was slipped in so casually, well set up, that I could see how tempting it would be for her to try to get in a quick “meal”.

It wasn’t until I started cleaning things up that I realized that the candle was still lit and that she hadn’t asked me to blow it out. After thinking about it for a moment, it made sense. It was to lower my guard by not being completely in the dark.

This may be a long month…

[anon39079500]

The Shadow Woman began dropping hints I was to call on her around dinner. This wasn’t a good time and I told her I’d need to wait until the others in the household went to bed, about 4 hours away. I had just finished an evocation with Pele and wanted to clear myself and the area a bit before overtly bringing in the shadow current into the ritual space.

Shadow Woman chose to stick around and I could feel her anger building as I sat in the area an hour and a half prior to the ritual, working on a wand strictly for shadow work. Eventually, everyone went upstairs for bed.

“Good, we can finally be together”. She continued to build as I put the items I was using aside. “Turn out (off) the light”, she demanded.

I turned the work light off and sat in the darkness.

“There, that’s better” she sad and positioned herself behind me, in the middle of my back. The tingling wasn’t there, though. Instead, I could feel her anger, almost as if it were pressing on the middle part of my back, from my waist to the base of my neck.

“Why did you make me wait?”

“To be sure we wouldn’t be interrupted. Do I not owe you that much respect? We would’ve been interrupted several times, at least.”

“And you made me wait”

“Would you rather be interrupted? I can make that happen.”

She was seething at this point and it was rubbing off on me a little. I could feel my irritation rising, so I took a deeper breath than normal and let it out a little slower.

“I could ruin you, you know… I could ruin it all”. I saw pictures of my family and specifically, pictures of my wife.

“I could have it all taken away”. Here, I saw images of everything I’ve worked for - my job,my family, my health, etc. There were also impressions of losing my pride, my self-esteem, and other things that have emotional value.

“Then I suppose I will have to work a little harder to get them back.” and met her threats with the certainty that I could. Maybe not on a one-for-one level, but I would come out in the end.

She started moving towards my front, the anger now the same sensual behavior from last night. But without building up the effects as she had last night. “Maybe I was a little…harsh, but…I think you owe me an apology.”

“I don’t believe I do. I told you when I would call upon you, after acknowledging your presence. You chose to hang around. I’m not going to apologize.”

She was directly in front of me at this point and she had squared herself off, her finger pointed at my face. “You will.”

A little anger flared up as I grew tired of dealing with her. “Why did you want to meet with me tonight? What’s the purpose?”

“I need one?”, she fired back. Maybe she meant it, maybe it’s all part of her act.

“What’s the purpose? I’m willing to call on you, but I’m not here to waste my time. What do you want?”

“You’ll see.” she said and left. I believe I heard a “You will apologize” was she left, but I am not entirely sure.

I did notice as I was writing down the conversation and threats that she never threatened my son or my pets. Yet, I was shown pictures of my wife. When I replayed the pictures and intent I was shown (which is really hard to describe and just as important), she wasn’t threatening my wife. She was threatening the marriage. I didn’t specify that as out-of-bounds in the rules of engagement. Being concerned about that is exactly the type of thing Shadow Woman may like.

Truth is, with most of the things I’ve read and what I’ve experienced, I don’t know how much direct impact they can have on anything. They seem more built to sow fear than anything else. I’m on number 2 of 7. Maybe I’ll find out at some point.

[anon39079500]

I’ve been hesitant to share some additional details and conflicts that have been going on mainly since starting with the Shadow Woman and my succubus. In the end, I’m going to share a condensed version of it, in case someone else decides to go down this path and could use the head’s up.

When I had evoked Lilith to find a match, one of the criteria was that she had to be okay with me working with, being close with, other feminine entities. This hasn’t been a problem when I later called upon (or was called by) Hel, Freyja, Pele… There weren’t any issues.

When I had gone outside to make initial, formal contact with the Shadow Woman, my succubus came to me and was upset. She wouldn’t really say why, but she was obviously a bit fearful. This is very unusual for her. She agreed to leave prior to starting the evocation. She interrupted this initial meeting with the Shadow Woman, in an attempt to protect me at one point. I handled it, but it clearly wasn’t over.

After last night’s interaction with Shadow Woman, my succubus came to me while I was reading in bed. It wasn’t long after that I could feel shadows ringing my room. Several layers of them.

This led to a confrontation and the easiest way to protect her was to pull part of her inside of me, which would cause them to stop what they were doing. But it didn’t solve anything. In the end, I quietly called upon Lilith to escort her to safety while I dealt with the mob.

There were some issues today, too, that I’ve bandaged over. Tonight, I’ll be forcefully evoking both Legion and the Shadow Woman to resolve this. I just had one of those weird deja vu moments I get when I’m doing what I’m “supposed to”, so it’s on.

If you have entities in the area that have emotional attachments when pursuing this path, make arrangements with them or this may happen.