I think that is a deep question. I’ve been doing some of this for the last… several months. Mostly it’s about embracing the things that are you, that bother you, that make you who you are, rather than rejecting them. For some of us that is traumas and fears and the like and for others, I don’t know what it’s like but I tend to think of it as integrating with what we see the problem as being, rather than as rejecting it. Learning how to use it to your advantage and work on to the next issue, so that we don’t get stuck in the past…
Here are some journals you might want to check out for information on how some of us have done it, others have just used mediation techniques and supposedly had profound experiences.
There are of course plenty of others if you hit up the search function and play with the words and take a gander for yourself. These just were off the top of my head and easy for me to find. I highly recommend learn how that works, a lot of the real valuable answers have been given by those of us that are no longer members of the community.
I think the only major thing I didn’t glean from all of this, is whether or not you are currently practicing any type of magic and how long you have been doing so. I see interests, and weird places you gave a chance, but not a whole lot about what you’ve actually been doing magically- is there anything you have been practicing to date? If so for how long?