Hello, BALG. It’s been a while since I last posted here. I haven’t been practicing magick very much until recently. During the last few months I’ve been struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts and some circumstances in my life. Now I’m back in the game and I really want to know if my current experience is real or my mind is just playing tricks on me. Sorry guys, it’s going to be a long post.
Since the beginning of this month I’ve been trying to establish a connection with Gremory. I tried to evoke her before but I didn’t feel much during the rituals. Neither have I got what I asked for. Perhaps I was asking for too much or doubts hindered my magick, I don’t know for sure. But I didn’t want to give up on her. This time I decided to change my approach.
I started with daily meditations on her sigil and enn chanting. Just to create a psychic link between us. During the first meditation I tried to imagine what she looks like. The image of her came to my mind effortlessly: a fair woman in green dress atop of a camel. I greeted her and said that I wanted to connect to her and work with her. Then she started talking to me. I couldn’t hear her physically, of course. It was just a pleasant voice in my mind. She told me she liked persistent guys and she expected me to be the one. She also told me she wanted an altar. I felt like something pressed my whole body and for a moment I physically saw a shadow on the wall which looked somewhat like a woman in a dress.
Then I meditated like that every day. Every time that woman in green appeared in my mind. She looked at me, touched her hair, walked here and there. And she talked to me, of course. One time I had a very interesting experience. She was staring at me and started sucking her finger. At the same time I had a very strong pleasant sensation in my Swadhisthana chakra. Not lying, I was moaning like a girl. It didn’t last long, though.
But it’s not only meditations. I often hear her voice and see her in my mind in my mundane life. She keeps telling me that I need to sleep more, trust my feelings and stop doubting myself. This is very difficult for me. Last Friday night I decided to fulfill a full evocation ritual according to @Mike_Bee’s guide I didn’t ask for anything, just gave her some offerings and asked a few questions. She agreed to work with me, told me she could give me more that I could even dream of. She also specified once more about the altar. She wants one SOLELY for her.
Next morning I opened BALG on my way to work. And this is what I saw, a guide about making a pact with a spirit. This thread was bumped at night just when I was going to start the evocation. Guys, I’m a little scared. Could all that be real? Does Gremory want me to make a pact with her?
Thank you for reading all that. I’d really appreciate if you share your thoughts.
My two cents of advise would stop reading too much into the experiences you had while meditation. Also have a daily practice of meditation and banishing. Practice maditation such that your mind goes into silent mode. These are important since you were having depression in the past.
Then start working on your astral senses so that you can have a clear communication with the spirit in question. Once you open them, you will have a clear answer on what the spirit seeks from you.
If you are scared don’t do it. Wait till your anxiety eases out.
Making pacts is an advanced form of magic. I have gone through your previous posts and I feel that you are still a beginner. So stick with your daily practices and work on your astral senses.
I dunno what you have asked from Gremori, but she would be happy to see you persistently working on yourself and she will be there when you reach to the point where you can communicate to her directly. Creating an altar is entirely upto you.
Meanwhile, cultivate your energy and use petition spells and evocations for your timely needs.
Lastly, follow your own advise:
Don’t be in a rush and practice magick peacefully. When the time is right everything will fall in place.
Thank you for your reply. You are right, I’m still a beginner. This is why I’m so surprised with this voice in my head. I tried communicating with spirits before and wrote down everything that came to my ming during evocations. But those thoughts were voiceless, now it’s different. I understand that astral sences are important. I think mine are not bad for a beginner but I still have a lot to learn. There are some tutorials here that I can use for that.
Sure thing.I guess I’ll just add the LBRP to my daily meditation.
I still have it, to be honest. It’s just more or less tolerable now.
I understand. To be clear: I’m not going to make a blood signed pact now anyway. Not like I have much to lose in my life, but still. At first I just want to try working with Gremory on some short-term goals and see how it goes. Besides, I got some simple personal recommendations from her that I can implement in my life right away.
Oh man. I’ve just looked through my notes made on Friday night one more time. She mentioned that. She also advised me to use some simple magickal methods to achieve some small goals. Just to break my doubts.
We, as human beings, always have so much to loose. We just don’t realise it until it’s too late. Never think otherwise. Magick starts in your mind and manifests itself into reality. I would say that you have to work on your thinking as well. Always believe that you have all the precious things you can ever hope for and eventually they will manifest. it’s easier said than done .
Okay, I’ve checked again, this is my mistake here. I forgot about time zones lol. But still, the fact that I saw this thread next morning after evocation is a funny coincidence.
Yeap it’s real. Welcome to the club. Don’t panic, from what you describe everything seems to be going well. This is what people mean when they say spirit work is not for the faint of heart. Prepare for even greater manifestations as you progress. You got it man, keep it up.
A couple of days ago I evoked Duchess Gremory again. This time I physically saw a small green figure of a woman atop of a camel right on the sigil. That was unexpected. I mean, I asked her to help me with developing my clairs, but we haven’t even started proper training yet. Holy shit.
Pretty cool. I wouldn’t overthink it too much if that makes sense. I have only worked with Gremori through the Demons of Magick method but I love her, she’s just so sweet.
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