My Biggest Problem in Magick - Confession

Spirits, Evocation & Possession
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I am able to just about everything and anything, but one thing i cannot do is call on one specific entity, since a child i was haunted this being, manifested blood hand prints all over my mother’s room.
This entity was always seen standing by my cot as a baby, it moved my cot at nights to.

We moved and my mother cleansed the house, it still came back then as a young child, i would begin seeing portals physically opening in my bedroom walls, with being coming out of it, i told my mother she said it was my imagination. Until one night she heard a loud noise, she could see the same being and a shadow like spiral on the wall and my bed was shaking like fuck.

We moved again and again, we had priests, witches, psychics you name it, they tried all they could but this spirit would not budge, it still returned. It tried taking me once with it, but i closed my eyes and used all my will as 6 year old child to stop what i was seeing, this resulted in me closing my spiritual abilities.

Later on in life i reawakened them, but it would still follow me just it became silent, it used the name " The crooked man ", this spirit however was not a thought form or servitor or an egregore. It was far beyond powerful and influential. When i started calling on this being to understand the situation, it wouldn’t appear.

I tried everything, meditation, soul travel, shamanism, divination, evocation, channeling even the demon’s i worked with refused to tell me what the ’ crooked man ’ was, i understand the folk lore of the crooked man, but i believe this spirit used that as a mask to get close to me.

I had powerful magician’s try everything and still they can’t get to it, no matter who me, or someone else no matter how much power we send out, the spirit won’t budge it remains silent hidden and waiting. This entity i can still feel it watch me but no matter what magick is performed its invulnerable which never has happened for me.

Even Forum members and past covens and lodges i’ve been in couldn’t summon it either, so this is my confession, the biggest mystery to me, this is my confession.

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Not trying to be a dick but did I inspire this?

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No this is something i’ve suffered with since a baby.

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Thanks for sharing. I have a similar mystery and it also led to shutting off spiritual ability.

What kind of spotlight does it need pointed at it for it to come out? In both our cases, it seems to have made a few spectacles of itself earlier on in life and now is just a type of watcher

Is it a leech of some sort?

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I could try to read it the way I read circles and see if I get anything. .

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Hmm… Is there any other information about this being? My interest has been peaked… I wanna try calling it

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This is the thing though, it can’t seem to be called, it just refuses.

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I wouldn’t call it …I would go to it. I do that with circles I go to the circle

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I saw in your thread… I sincerely dont know why but its pulling me in… I’m gonna try something tonight if thats okay by you?

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Yeah sure.

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Yeah sure … sorry guys if i seem off, but i can feel it even around me now.

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Ok I will post if I get anything

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Thanks @Eye_of_Ra

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A post was split to a new topic: Problem with DOUBT

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I’ll let you know what happens as well, brother.

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Thanks brother.

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I think its had such an affect on you growing up it cannot be called on because of your limited belief. It was there when you were a baby. This alone can subconsciously make you feel inferior to it. Similar to how the voice of your parents even as an adult can make us feel small. That voice of command can somewhat penetrate our minds. We can rebel but the mind still recognises it first as a superior, then we grasp this concept and reject (in some cases)…

Perhaps you are to young right now, powerful sure, but this entity still holds a superior link in your deep deep deeeep subconscious. With more maturity and time, perhaps one day you will truly be able to loose the grip it has on your “baby c. Kendall”

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The thing is as i’ve said i’ve had many lodge leaders, priests and high priestess and they cannot even call it.

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Doesn’t matter. This entity is deep within yourself. So deep that they would have to penetrate your mind. Not the nameless entity. There’s a paradox here that is yet to be known.

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Thats just my opinion. I know nothing of your situation