Added to the last Ikhfa meditation:
I feel a sense of peace, ever since. Even with internal conditionings I am usually very responsive to. Lets see how long this will last.
1 Like
Ikhfa meditation with Ya Muhsi. Knowing yourself, knowing others, knowing things and drawing new conclusions (and hopefully working with those in addition to support the healing process).
The visuals are presenting me an elizabethan muffin cap (mhmmmm, muffinsâŚ) in golden and black colours. A golden feather decorates the hat and as I my gaze focuses on that feather its suddenly very clear thatâŚand the thought is gone. The visuals blend with the sound of people talking and footsteps and rain in the background of my quiet room.
The feather somehow reminds me of the Huma bird; never coming to rest, consuming itself in flames.
1 Like
Reading through Al-Qushayris Epistle on Sufism, I wonât even pretend to know my way around the insights presented in there. One thing stood out to me, regarding the point of gnosis:
Abu Yazid said: â[All] people possess [spiritual] states, whereas the gnostic possesses none, because his personal characteristics (rusum) are totally erased, his personality (huwiyya) is fully annihilated by the personality of the Other, and his qualities are rendered nonexistent by the qualities of the Other.â
According to this I would think that being inwardly erased by the object of ones gnosis seems like a more solid kind of proof when receiving downloads or pieces of UPG. Maybe this approach stretches even far out to the territory of giving readings 
Al-Junaid said: âThe colour of the water is the same as the colour of its vessel.â , which hits kind of differently when thinking about how knowledge about something gets inside and how its processed (and maybe communicated) by the vessel.
1 Like
Khafi/Khafiya meditation with the help of Ya Khaliq. I want to create everything, at once, now.
I see myself sitting in front of a kitchen table; the room is dark and shelters me from the blinding sun outside of a lush garden. The kitchen has a door straight towards that garden and its slightly opened. When I look down to the table I can see a multitude of light brown coloured building blocks. I shove some of them back and forth, stack them onto another, disassemble them again. I feel a little uninspired.
I am noticing a middle eastern looking man peeking through the slightly opened kitchen door; he has a friendly expression and he is wearing a neon blue outdoor jacket that doesnât fit the warm temperatures outside. He notices my struggle with the wooden blocks and comes inside, sitting down across the table. He doesnât speak to me, he simply takes some of these blocks and builds himselfâŚa rather detailed horse.
I suppose its my turn, now. I pick up a few blocks and assemble⌠a door. No, a gate. The man looks pleased with the outcome. I created a gate. Maybe even the world behind it. Thats certainly up for debate.
1 Like
Sirr meditation with Ya Hakam. I need to find some sort of clarity about recent downloads and findings before I proceed.
The visualization leaves me with a crown like headpiece. Its made out of clear crystal and it starts to melt; its no ice, though. The sparkling drops feel warm and make my spine tingle.
They sink into my scalp. Into the back of my head, down to my spine. They drip into my ears and eyes and they are finding their ways into my nostrils and the corners of my mouth. They taste light blue.
Before the crystal crown started to melt into me I had the urge to take it and to destroy it. It seems as if that isnât necessary; it clearly destroys itself and pours itself into me during its desintegration.
1 Like
Ikhfa meditation, back to the unpleasantries. I decided to meditate to Ya Rahman, to slide off some good olâ self loathing. Feels kind of like digging your way out of a very deep grave with nothing but a spoon. But hey.
The visualization process: pleasant. I am sitting on the edge of a wall, watching the sunset painting a golden and calm ocean in front of my eyes. But it doesnât feel pleasant. My right hand grasps around several ice cubes. These fuckers wonât melt. They hurt my skin, my hand, my arm, all the way up to my shoulders and my head. Everything is warm, except for me.
I can feel the ice cubes not only in the palm of my hand, but they are also sliding lazily around in my upper torso. They make crinkling noises inside my body and my head tingles from the sound. The ice wonât melt. I suppose that this is my job now: making it melt while staring into the sunset. I feel incredibly cold inside. The comforting scent of burned wood can be traced from afar.
When I get back from the meditation I have goosebumps all over my arms.
I find it strange that I was able to melt crystals in the last meditation but not the ice in the current one.
1 Like
Ana/Haqqiah meditation with Ya Shakur. Trying to get rid of the ego dissapointment with the falsehood of the outside world or what I would interpret as such.
Peculiar meditation visuals: I am in a dark and dusty room with nothing but five dudes and a refrigerator. The five dudes are all the same, but in different stages of their life. I see a young boy, an adolescent, a grown up young man, a fifties something man and an old man. All are so dissapointed with the world. But the world owes you nothing, at least thats what I can hear from inside of my head.
I walk to the refrigerator and open it. I expect a lonely bottle of coke, leftover takeaway and an empty bottle of ketchup. But instead I am hit with a golden light that consists of thousands and thousands golden sparks. The room lights up and the person and his five versions looks into the light with joy. My upper torso feels all warm and fuzzy and the bizarre thought of being the very vessel for this strange scenario ends the meditation.
1 Like
Okay, I really hate it. Even more so because I know that its necessary and that I will be stuck forever on a certain level of self perception if I donât face the direct source(s) of this internal conditioning. But its so hard to look at myself with compassion when all Iâve came to learn has been the exact opposite ever since.
The irreconcilable difference between the warm and mellow sunset and the stinging ice lays so obviously in front of me like some unfortunate roadkill in the middle of the lane. It seems as if some kind of invisible wall has been placed between these both conditions, with no way for the last rays of warmth to reach the ice.
Time will tell if Iâll be able to remove this barrier. I wonder if the egoistic wish for self-ignorance is a healthy or necessary or at least normal part of utilizing these names.
1 Like
Putting a part of a reading in here, from a very skilled person who had no knowledge about my doings. I feel happy. It seems to pay off, sooner or later.
(âŚ) The vision showed me hands that I understood to be yours, peeling an Orange, then all the segments are arranged in a line, cleaned, and then put back together, inside the peel, in an order that only you know (âŚ)
Arranged, cleaned, put back together. Thats not too shabby.
1 Like
Ana/Haqqiah meditation with Ya Tawwab, in order to part the ego-self from old wounds.
While meditating on that name I could see myself sitting at the old living room table of the home Iâve grown up in. I was solving a puzzle and apparently I was around 3 years old, again. While shoving the puzzle pieces around I witnessed drops of blood dribbling from my POV down onto the puzzle and the table. My forehead hurts and my nose tingles in a nauseating way. The view shifts from my former self to my current self; I am having my 3 year old past self on my lap, bleeding from my nose as well. I lift myself up from my lap and leave the table, the room, the house. We both know.
1 Like
Ikhfa meditation with Ya Muhyi, for processing some pent up grief. Ew.
While meditating on that name I had the impression that a golden triangle stuck out from the left side of my heart. I took it out of my chest and nicked my finger on its pointy tip. For some reason I felt the urge to draw more blood; I took the triangle and cutted the palm of my left hand open, releasing light red blood. The triangle turns into a golden bracelet after coming into contact with the blood. I decide to wear it around my left wrist.
I canât quite remember, but I think that its been mentioned how the left hand relates to the tabiah, the nature of something, when applying sufi traditions to palm reading.
1 Like
Khafi/Khafiya meditation with Ya Matin. Resilience, being firm in heart and mind.
My torso is a black violet shimmering nothing. A stream of clear water is pouring from somewhere above into this nothingness, finding its way into a blue gleaming opening down below. I understand that this water is my steadfastness and that nothing is allowed to interrupt it or to run it dry. My head starts to hurt. I feel incredibly nauseous from a sudden waft of of dense energy radiating from this stream.
Second Sirr meditation with Ya Hakam. Discerning wisdom.
The visuals of the meditation are pulling me into the very same spot I am currently at. The only difference is that I am wearing something that reminds me of some sort of VR headset, minus the headpiece. I can still see my surroundings but the glasses are tinting everything in a muted dark colour, there is also a white grid adding depth to everything. My surroundings slowly fade out, I am left with a black screen and a white grid behind my eyes. Every once in a while I receive bright redâŚâdisturbancesâ, as if someone is frantically scrawling hectic lines and spirals and knots onto the black surface. These patterns are moving and pulsing, I can hear them with my eyes. I understand that the black surface and the white grid are the objective reality of things while the red patterns are what seeks to hide from it or what deflects from it.
My eyes burn after the meditation. I have kept them open the entire time.
1 Like
Another one of that. Water seems to be a key element with this names energy, as the visuals made me look down at my feet that poured out dark and cloudy water from their soles into a floor that was made out of black rock. I understood this as some sort of grounding session, so I focused on releasing this dark water further into the ground, pushing all of those not so resilient feelings and reactions into it.
1 Like
Sirr meditation with the name Ya Batin. Iâve read somewhere that repeating this name three times a day will make one able to see the truth of all things. I guess I was overdosing on that three times a day mark, today 
My first impression: a tingling electric pulse around the temples of my head.
The visuals: walking inside of a dark tunnel, no source of light. Underneath my feet I could hear and feel the flow of a forceful river, rumbling beneath the concrete of the tunnel. I decided to follow the source of this river, walking into the opposite direction of its flow. I blacked in and out of this impression. At some point I was facing the end of the tunnel, marked by a shining blue waterfall that gave life to the river under this whole construct. I could hear somebody whispering âAll rivers are flowing upwards hereâ and when I looked up I could indeed witness the river flowing back up into the waterfall.
My heart tingled in a very soft and mellow pulse, similar to the one around my head.
I will try the âthree times a dayâ approach, I think.
1 Like
Basically this. I am finding that reciting âHuâ for the Latifa spring cleaning does a good job 
This time I had the impression of a blue flame burning away some sort of black coating from a surface.
Last night I was confronted with something that looked super concerning to me. I told my friend about it, just in case. I hope that this was a fluke and not the result of âseeing the truth of all thingsâ.
Sirr meditation with the name Ya 'Alim. Sneaking away a piece of omniescience.
Meditation visuals: the lemniscate that I am breathing is parted into a white and into a blueish-green light.
I am surrounded by falling leaves. I identify them as linden tree leaves. Each leaf a part of knowledge. I know that something is written on the back of each leaf with blue ink, without turning them around. I collect some of them as they fall.
Giving myself something to chew on if this symbolism should come up again:
1 Like
Another shot at Khafiya meditation with this name.
A green light turns into a large green snake. I am holding it in my arms. Its skin is made out of emerald, emitting a warm and heavy pulse. Its alive and its moving, slowly. A white ring-like energy is moving clockwise inside of my head. Ideas that are yet to come. I canât find my words.
2 Likes
itâs interesting your colors with the names of God! do you also use the number of reps? for example 66 for Allah or a multip of 66
1 Like
I havenât kept track about that, to be honest. I am not using beads or my fingers while uttering the names. I know that at some point I will stop with saying them out loud, usually when I am phasing out into the visuals
1 Like