Welcome to the forum!
So, i a nutshell, it sound like you are a natural medium and have psychic sensitivity to the unseen, but you grew up in a culture that dismissed that as bad.
But, you are an adult now, and can start researching and developing your skills and maybe make something useful out of them. You came to the right place! 
We think this is normal and many of us have similar stories. Most of us, like myself, just hid from others what we could sense.
“Do not cast your pearls before swine” is appropriate here - none of them need to know what you can see and they will only attack you if you try to tell them, so stop telling them.
That’s nonsense. And I will explain exactly why…
- First of all, Initiation means nothing more than being trained in a particular system with it’s framework or worldview. That means getting that systems opinions on your You are fully initiated into the Jehovah’s Witnesses system, and you have seen it had no good answers for you as it dismissed everything with a blanket and reductionist approach.
Similarly, just because other systems have more considered approaches doesn’t mean any of them are “the right one” that will fit your energy and experiences. Chances are, you will study a few, and you will eventually make up your own worldview that has the best of all of them. We call this “being an eclectic occultist” or similar.
I just posted this and I think it was a message for you. The universe does that - it talks to us through other people, music, signs of all kinds, so this is normal. You need to start learning the landscape and take back your power.
You have all you need right now, you don’t need to sign yourself up into another religion, cult or group, the Internet is ridiculously full of all the info you could want and the rest must come to you through meditation.
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You have a function related to the dead. Awesome! So there’s teo main approaches to this in magick:
a) Being a psychopomp, aka medium. A psychopomp assist the dying and newly dead, or the lost dead with thier transition into the next life. This is a vital and really helpful role, as in western culture the ob is so woefully neglected that there’s are a lot of lost, scared and desperate people who just lost thier bodies and don’t know what to do, and some don’t even understand they’re dead.
b) Necromany is the medieval way of working with the dead, sometimes by coercion to use these lost dead as pawns or slaves to do things for them, but sometimes as an ally and a person aligned with them energetically.
c) You can do both - I do and we have plenty of post around here about working with the dead. If this interest you we can talk more, and I recommend the Blood Sorcery Bible by Sorceress Cagliastro, as a mage very aligned with the dead and a strong advocate for treating them well. -
There’s zero reason to claim you “will be destroyed”. I’m not even sure why they’d say that, apart from maybe you being quite upset when you were talking to them, but it sounds like a fear-based sales pitch for doing it thier way.
The most important take away here is to recall you are human, with a living body - that alone makes you the most powerful being in the room and nothing can harm you without your permission.
I think the current you are referring to is Kabbalah - which is Jewish mysticism. The qlippoth is a tool and diagram of the tree of death - the tree of death is shadow self, representing part of you that are misaligned, twisted and damaged, compared to the tree of life (Sephiroth) which is the ideal human in a fully healed - :whole… holy - state.
The reason for studying the qlippoth is to understand your darker, rejected or unhappy side and work though your issues, and this is also the same goal for doing shadow work, or therapy of any kind really.
Further, you higher self - imo - isn’t human and doesn’t need human mysticism, it’s already gt all that sorted, so it’s you as the incarnation of your higher self that has forgotten. Bear in mind there may be 1000s of incarnations all over time and maybe other planets, so don’t confine yourself to a static image of human Mesopotamian philosophy of 2000 tears ago, you, as a higher being, are way more than that. Imo, as usual.
Nice work! This never ends as being human we refine this over and over, but you’ve got a great start there. Just don’t worry if you find more as you go deeper, that’s normal.
Fair, and you need to identify the “they” or tell hem to fuck off and just handle your own stuff. Being pushed around by parasites that do this to dangle a carrot while feeding on your negative energy while they “test” you, and never delivering, is a hallmark of parasitic behavior, and banishing and cleansing gets rid of those very quickly.
I recommend you have a read though of our Parasites tutorial collection and start working on your protections and foremost. In particular, try Raziel’s sigil to stop spiritual harrassment Forum Tutorials: Parasite Collection - #5 by Mulberry
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You grow a spine and take back control. YOU are the operator, you are a the top of the hierarchy and you are the one in charge of your life, and nobody gets to push you around. It stops, NOW.
We say this to everyone and while you have a head start on the senses part, it’s all applicable -
The first thing to get under your belt are your protections: like spiritual hygiene, then you want to get into developing your astral senses and avoiding impostors and parasites… When you can be sure you’ll not get attacked by parasites, then try Unofficial Tutorials: First Contact from Sigils to Evocation Collection.
So that’s what I suggest to start - practically - get your protections fixed, with shields and wards and know how to properly and completely banish all influence from your home and self.
Only then get into trying to call the dead you feel like talking to and build relationships and make allies, and maybe find and communicate with “them” and see if you even want to deal with them at all.