Still Waters: The Journal

So, if you happened to come across this - welcome. I created this little spot to house my ponderings and document some of the weird stuff that seems to happen so randomly. Here goes…

To start off, I read something on Facebook posted by someone I follow but I’m not friends with. He mentioned discovering the reason why men in his family die so young.

Apparently, generations ago a group of men from his family sexually assaulted a woman causing her to lose her baby. And she cursed them. Not just them but the generations after too. He mentioned meeting her in spirit and she agreed to lift the curse.

It’s also interesting to mention that apparently there appears to be an entity involved because although he doesn’t know it’s name he described it physically. He believes it is behind the familial debauchery, in fact it feeds off it. Apparently the male members are known for sexually assaulting other family members, especially children, male and female.

It made me wonder how common is this. Which is then followed by “the chicken or the egg”? Does the violence attract the entities or do they cause it?

I’ve heard of entire organizations infested by large scale entities but never really looked into the logistics of it. Would that family from Omaha be under similar circumstances?

"…38 descendants of Levi Levering have been convicted of 633 crimes in Omaha since 1979.

…Now Nikko Jenkins and two other relatives are facing m*rder charges connected to four Omaha deaths in August.

In all, six Levering family members are charged with 30 crimes in connection with that killing spree:

» Nikko Jenkins faces four counts of first-degree m*rder; a sister and an uncle face one count each in the same deaths.

» Six counts of using a gun to commit a felony.

» Eight counts of weapon possession by a felon.

» Four counts of conspiracy to commit robbery.

» Four counts of being an accessory to m*rder.

» Two counts of being a felon in possession of ammunition."

"Little would have Apophis expected that there would be followers of his even in modern-day America. Yet, if Nikko Jenkins is to be believed, he was communicated by the serpent God to commit all the crimes he did. These crimes included four gory murders that would occur during a 10-day crazy shooting spree.

…He mutilated himself while in prison, including cutting up his penis in 2015, in a way that he thought would make him resemble the god Apophis."

This never happened in my family, but my family had a period in the 1800s-1900s of short lives - which was related to epidemics, lack of vaccines, and poverty/harsh work.
Example: One of my relatives went down with the Titanic, as he worked in the steam room.

I would say the entities cause it, then feed off of the associated emotions involved as a group.

1 Like


1 Like

Random weird event. This happened over 10 years ago.

I was shopping at a thrift store and I saw a framed photo of Marilyn Monroe. It was $40 so I didn’t buy it but for weeks I thought about it, even imagined where I would hang it.

While shopping at a different thrift store, I ended up in the book section. I stood there for a moment because I was unfamiliar with this section of the store.

Suddenly, I felt myself pulled to my left and began walking to the shelf on the last wall. It was like I was zoned out. I had no idea where I was going or why.

Next thing I know my arm is moving and then a book was in my hand. You guessed it, a book on Marilyn Monroe. How I walked directly to it in a manner of seconds, I don’t know. I do know I love the fact that this happened so seamlessly.

On another note, One really cool thing I loved about Ms Monroe was her ability to manipulate energy and her surroundings.

"“I’ll never forget the day Marilyn and I were walking around New York City, just having a stroll on a nice day. She loved New York because no one bothered her there like they did in Hollywood, she could put on her plain-Jane clothes and no one would notice her. She loved that. So, as we we’re walking down Broadway, she turns to me and says, ‘Do you want to see me become her?’ I didn’t know what she meant but I just said ‘Yes’ — and then I saw it. I don’t know how to explain what she did because it was so very subtle, but she turned something on within herself that was almost like magic. And suddenly cars were slowing, and people were turning their heads and stopping to stare. They were recognizing that this was Marilyn Monroe as if she pulled off a mask or something, even though a second ago nobody noticed her. I had never seen anything like it before.”

1 Like

With the Powerball currently being over half a billion dollars I am reminded of the 2007 Cynthia Stafford story. Apparently, she visualized winning the lotto for YEARS. I don’t know many people, myself included, with that level of follow through and discipline.

" "On the way to the state lottery office, I remember thinking that this money was coming at precisely the right time—and that I had willed it into my possession.

I’d generally played the lottery about two to three times a month, and friends and family always said, “Oh, you know, a lot of people try and win.” And I would always say, “Yeah, but I’m going to win.” I had been focusing on winning for so long that when I did finally win, it didn’t even feel random; it felt like I had made it happen.

My trick? Whenever I bought my ticket, I would visualize winning. At first, I picked my own numbers. But then, as I would visualize the money as my own, I’d pick whatever quick, random numbers flashed into my head.

I even chose that exact number: $112 million. I decided that I would win that amount.""

I was attempting to meditate today and was suddenly reminded of the famous water experiment. It wasn’t just words but music and pictures too. I’m curious if anything happens if I abstain from aggressive music (bye Disturbed), images and thoughts for a day. Would it be a placebo effect or is there something to this? This feels very New Age-y, RHP but if it works, it works.

“Masaru Emoto has carried out very interesting experiments with water at critical point for freezing. He claims that words expressing emotions have effect on the crystals formed in the process. Emoto reports that words with positive emotional contents produce beautiful crystals and those with negative emotional content generate ugly ones. Also music and even pictures are reported to have similar effect.”

“Results indicated that crystals from the treated water were given higher scores for aesthetic appeal than those from the control water (P = .001, one-tailed), lending support to the hypothesis.”

Coincidence or Curse?

So 3 months ago the Assistant Director at my job was harassing me hard. Constantly watching me so she could take things out of context and run tell my manager.

She pissed me off so bad in October that for several days I envisioned her eyes and mouth sewn shut while saying don’t look at me and shut your mouth.

I also said she needed to be fired over and over.

I did not burn a candle, write a petition or call out to anyone. After all the rage was released I forgot all about it. And she hasn’t said a peep since then.

Thursday she was fired.

The whole day I could hear in my head:

1 Like

I didn’t want to derail the original post. I don’t know how to feel about this. But then again I struggle with believing men feel anything other than rage and indifference.


Mod note:
Folks this is a Journal and is not subject to debate.
The No Politics rule also includes Identity Politics, please let the OP to their opinions.

1 Like

So rage as you call it and indifference or “not giving a fuck” about what other people trait both falls into the personality trait disagreeableness.

ON AVERAGE and at the extremes (the most movement and change is done at the extremes)
Men are more disagreeable then women, women are more agreeable which is associated with obedience, listening, and politeness. Women ON AVERAGE and at the extremes, are more social, they prefer to work with people, the sick, and children. This is not always the case tho. The divine feminine could be represented by mother Mary, she gives birth to the savior of the world and is impregnated by God (or the wise - divine king of the culture), she allows her son to go out and get killed and sacraficed in order to save the culture. Another female hero archetype is civilizing or taking a beast, aka beauty and the beast. He is dangerous and powerful but through her magickal love she is able to civilize him.

The main biological difference, the main sexual difference between men and women. Testosterone is what kills men, it makes them competitive and disagreeable. At the extremes the most disagreeable (note being disagreeable is associated with being rude) the most disagreeable men are criminals, navy seals or infantry soldiers, as well as in jail or CEOs. Testosterone isn’t good or bad just like magick, it’s how you use it that determines whether you become an oppressive tyrant who enslaves everyone, a criminal who kills and destroys, or a hero that saves women, children, and society.

The hero has the capacity to defeat a villain and he can easily kill civilians but he uses his power for good.
Just as a woman can use her feminine energy to give birth and rise to a hero and savior of the world or kill her husband and plunge the world into chaos (I’m referencing the Goddess Kali of Hinduism)

Here’s a clinical psychologist talking about it

Here’s his course on personality:

I’m not here to debate I just wanted to give OP The resources I used to learn about personality.

Feel free to detach my post if you feel necessary :call_me_hand::heart:

You assumed a lack of information was the reason for my stance. Lived experiences and history helped formed my worldview. I can’t elaborate any further without breaking a rule.


To “assume” would make an ass out of you and me.

I was simply giving you the resources which I found helpful from a psychologist who has a PHD, it’s relevant since ether lectures are on personality, he also goes into history and a lot more.

I’d be happy to have a meaningful and constructive conversation about this either in PMs or here if you’re cool with it.

From my understanding the word
Rage means uncontrollably violence or anger. I believe that most modern man is far from violence. Most men do not know how to fight properly let alone stand up for themselves (in my experience and analysis of my friends growing up as well as competition).
I believe men have the potential to become enraged but their anger and testosterone can be used to uplift society as well as protect women, children, and even a nation.
I’m not going to debate this next point as I believe it to be a general biological and evolutionary fact that men are both stronger and faster than women.
I don’t say that to brag, I say that to say this, in war you want the fastest and strongest people fighting and defending the country/tribe/city.
I believe this why (not getting political as it’s a fact) men must sign up for the draft. In times of war it’s preferable to have men fight and sacrafice themselves than it is for women. Women have their own sacrifices and duties to society and I think this is extremely prominent when it came to the world wars, women picked up all the jobs and raised the family by themselves, that is extremely noble.
Yes, male testosterone can develop into uncontrollable rage but you are describing a small group of men (see the statistics on criminals, and infantry or special operation soldiers). Most of them are men but that same testosterone can be used to save the world or bring about a it’s down fall.

Testosterone is chemical, it’s up to the man and the older men of a society to facilitate and nurture healthy the young men to use their strength for good.
Testosterone can give men the ability to save people from burning building, to lay bricks, or even play professional sports to inspire and motivate other men. But I do not think it is wise to type cast all men as having an uncontrollable rage, if that was the case I’m sure society would’ve already been through.
(Note: in male dominance hierarchies if a alpha chimp is tyrannical and abuses his powers the next two strongest chimps will kill him and rip him to shreds)

Indifference - having no sympathy, interest, or u concerned

This goes back to the temperament differences of men and women. Women are more agreeable and empathetic at the extremes and on average then men.
I’ve been in love and been deeply concerned, interested, and sympathetic to my partner. But I will a test I could give a fuck about what most other people think of me. I really prioritize my God, my family, my village/city, and my love interest. I focus on them, once my own house is in order then I’ll worry about saving the world.

Here’s a sympathetic and compassionate man telling a story and singing a song about the news of modern men to be “taught” how to love. I think you being up a valid point. I probably would not respect women or love woman as a whole if it wasn’t for my first love. She allowed me to cry, be emotional, and allowed me expand my personality beyond what some would call toxic masculinity.

We all have something to learn from one another and I think we are more powerful together than united.
“It takes two to tango”

If you’re into this song this genre of music is called “Neo soul” you also might like Erykah Badu:

That’s one of my mom’s favorite artists I love her a lot.

But I’d be lying if I said compassion, love, and empathy are useful on a football field, at a track meet, or in a lacrosse game. Maybe the love of victory or conquering the opponent. But yes, I am going to make my enemy submit within all competitions and even go as far as to humiliate them if they get in the way of me or my teams victory.
If that makes me rage full and indifferent then so be it, but I’d much rather crush my enemy and get a kiss from my girlfriend after a game then tell my enemy "you can do it bro) before we try to kill eachother on the field.

@Mulberry if OP doesn’t want any of this here please move my replies to my journal “Become a living God - My guide/antidotes to chaos in life” (the one in my bio)

Thank you for the offer however there is a reason why I have deactivated the “message” option. I’m not interested in dms, chats, texts, phone calls, face to face conversations, etc from anyone for any reason.

I cannot respond efficiently to any of your arguments without bringing up gendered violence, history, current events and politics. Based on your responses you have no idea what I’m talking about or why I said what I did.

This might be a good time to take a step back and do some meditation, journaling and self reflection. There is something huge being missed here. Thank you for your time and responses but this conversation has ran its course.


Well that’s harsh…

Have a good one :call_me_hand:

If you need me I’ll be bringing about the destruction of the universe through my rage and indifferent nature 🫡

1 Like

I tend to think of most (more than half of and less than all) men as puppies or dogs. Either barking and looking to get aggressive, following one around begging for something, or following one around needing direction.

lol! Just had to get into this with someone the other day on the public forum. There is a reason you can’t message me! Imagine it being on purpose!

Agree! :clap: :clap: :clap:

Edit: @Luminous this should have been in reply to where you quoted/linked Titan’s post. It just chose not to do that.

1 Like

"A man spent hours watching a butterfly struggling to emerge from its cocoon. It managed to make a small hole, but its body was too large to get through it. After a long struggle, it appeared to be exhausted and remained absolutely still.

The man decided to help the butterfly and, with a pair of scissors, he cut open the cocoon, thus releasing the butterfly. However, the butterfly’s body was very small and wrinkled and its wings were all crumpled.

The man continued to watch, hoping that, at any moment, the butterfly would open its wings and fly away. Nothing happened; in fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its brief life dragging around its shrunken body and shrivelled wings, incapable of flight.

What the man – out of kindness and his eagerness to help – had failed to understand was that the tight cocoon and the efforts that the butterfly had to make in order to squeeze out of that tiny hole were Nature’s way of training the butterfly and of strengthening its wings.

Sometimes, a little extra effort is precisely what prepares us for the next obstacle to be faced. Anyone who refuses to make that effort, or gets the wrong sort of help, is left unprepared to fight the next battle and never manages to fly off to their destiny."

~Paul Coelho

A reminder to myself of how tough love is often the best kind of love.

1 Like