St. Expedite - For those who have worked with him for awhile: Need urgent advice

General Discussion
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So I have been staying with my grandmother and grandfather, my grandmother is the definition of a malignant , “church-going” narcissist. Most know but not to the extent that she lies and attack whoever her current victim is. I have lost everything this past summer and I am trying to get back on my feet. I have been unable to practice my magick since having to move out of my personal apartment.

Then my grandmother said no burning candles in her house. I respected that and did them in the garage with the exception of some tea lights while doing a ritual bath. She , as usual, called and told everyone that talks to her regularly, that I have been burning incense and candles in her house etc (and I know she said other things but no one will tell me). So the past three weeks, with the zero dollars I have , I have been researching and deciding the best plan of action with what I have. I just need cash right now for an apartment, to start doing online business again (web hosting fees, SEO tools I use etc), as well as a lawyer for a DUI I got that resulted in my car getting demolished in salvage. She even told me don’t take spiritual baths, just wait until I move.

St. Expedite

He is by far the most effective being I have dealt with. However, last time (June) I did not pay him promptly whatsoever (totally my fault for being unprepared and not having money for pound cake etc). It is true what they say, he will take it back and then some. It will be crystal clear it is him. I took notes in my BOS, it was totally my fault, however I thought I had a few days. I did ritual on 6/21, granted 6/22, lost everything by 6/25 (which I had gotten pound cake but not roses at this point).

Back to present time…
Anyways, at thanksgiving my sister, whose apartment I am now staying at as of yesterday, came up to me and randomly said “you can’t burn incense or candles in my apartment”. Boom. My whole plan down the drain. Weeks of all nighters planning workings etc, most all require candles. I told my grandmother to PLEASE not discuss what I was doing with anbyone weeks ago and that I would respect her wishes. I am such a fool. She made me think I was in the clear and shut me downbefore I even got to my sisters. I have 3 weeks here at my sisters old place , then I am homeless. I am going to get a day job for the 3 weeks while I am here but that isn’t going to do much.

How I approached this crisis with a major last minute blow…
So I moved yesterday, Friday, and now knew I had one night left I could use candles (because I said fuck my grandmother at that point). I decided on St. Expedite for an exact amount of cash. I had three candles , one gold (front) and a taller green taper and taller white taper. At 9 -10am my grandmother came banging on my door saying its time to go, the white candle had not finished. t was burning super super slow. The gold candle burn beautifully and from what I saw and my gut , there was a spirit there , very active in that candle, and would occasionally switch real quick, to let me know it wasn’t the candle.
Anyways eventually I had to put it out with snuffer and pack up altar materials.

Current Altar at new place and dilemma
I re-created the altar here at my new place. I took pictures of both the original one and current but I feel like it’s bad to publish them before the ritual is finished. But if needed I will.
On the altar is a satin green altar cloth, 5 dice, a bill, a wine glass with purified water and rose buds in it, a magnet, a picture frame with st expedite in it on right and the St. Expedite prayer card against the wine glass. I DID light incese last night anyways, in my incense burner with High John , five finger grass , basil, etc. But I have yet to light the half burnt white taper candle.

The green candle actually broke the glass candle holder. The candle was painted green and the paint kept causing the flame to go high etc. I threw the rest of those away. Anyways, this is my 3rd St. Expedite ritual. First worked immediately, but then the second nothing happened. (I was not very specific but literally nothing happened). Since then I have learned so much. My offering when request is filled is the usual stuff as well as a one page custom web page made by me (I am a lifelong web design/developer and digital marketer), and I intend to make it stand out if he comes through.

I have a couple questions. This is for more experienced practitioners who have been working with him for awhile. All input is welcome, but that is the primary audience I am speaking to.

First, what should I do from this point forward?
Last night I said prayer again, I did not light any candles but I did light incense. The new altar at new apartment is inside of a decent sized closet (is this ok?). It is on a piece of furniture that is the perfect altar furniture.

Has anyone done a St. Expedite working without a 7 day St Expedite candle? Or without a 7 day candle period?

The initial candles were all lit on Thursday night in the last minute of the last hour of Jupiter. Candles were coated with Fast luck and Double Luck and money abundance oil. All three candles were in glass holders that stand 4"-6" , roughly, tall.

Currently, at new location, there are only two candle holders because the green one broke. So I put the other two next to each other. All that is light-able is the white candle (5" left to burn). There is a bay leaf with my request under the gold candles holder.

If it’s the difference between me saving this ritual and not, I have a couple white chime candles, one red chime candle, and one white and one green 6" candle (the next size up). My sister is in and out still moving out, brother in law is very concerned I am going to burn them anyways. So it would be very risky. But if I don’t get St. Expedites help, I will be real deal homeless in a few weeks.

I DO have a white plain seven day candle that initially I was going to use with custom image on it. But that’s out. With all that I’ve lost in past 4 - 5 months, magick is all I had, and this is a crucial time where not only do I need help, I can’t wait.

On top of it my aunt just came by, who is going to be staying here too for 3 weeks , and as a messenger for my narc grandmother asked for her candles back (she said take them she’s never going to use them etc etc) and made aunt think I just took them.

Sorry if I am rambling, I have gotten one or two hgours of sleep in the past couple days because of this…

Now onto an even more complex question… prior workings for the same goal (slightly different amounts)
I was also starting / trying to work with Bune prior to this. I did 3 invocations (GoM book). I asked for the same thing, just slightly more. I did second invocation because I didn’t feel like I did the first right (I didn’t) and I wanted to add “no harm to anyone” to my petition. The third was a respect thing. Last week my grandmother woke me up at my door with the phone, it was my sister. My other grandmother had just died. She was the ONLY person I had to talk to about the craziness of two narcissists. Then my mom sent me a text (covert narc) saying I am getting her car with only 40k miles…one of the main things I told bune the money was for was a car. It’s been haunting me daily…

Back to the question…will this affect my St. Expedite ritual? The money I asked Bune for was not received yet.

Also I have been doing the New Avatar Power Money ritual (nothing yet I am flat broke) for 3 days.

I also attempted to invoke Jupiter a couple weeks ago. Voodoo is my main practice, the Goetia was out of desperation, I am unsure what the NAP actually is, and Planetary magick will be another system of primary focus.

Also…I did a freezer spell on my grandmother last night / early am. Praying this stops her because she is going to be stopped.

Sorry for long post, but this is a life changing event for me and I need to make sure I don’t fuck this up.

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Sorry, @Pythagophyte, but it is against the rules of this forum to post links to outside communities, so I have removed the link to your post on WizardForums.

Also, please answer my questions on your introductory thread to complete your intro.

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I apologize I did not even realize there were any. I will check it now

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That was a prayer and general info saying he will get it. I appreciate it, but I am looking for answers on the actual candle burning. 7 day candles build up a lot more energy so I am not sure it’s needed.

I will burn my smaller candles if anyone that’s worked with him for awhile think that it’s crucial.

The key points are that I messed up big time the first time and he didn’t respon the second. Now I am in a MUCH more dire situation and I didn’t even finish the taper candle. I have never done divination successfully , but I just aquired x2 dice with almost all the letters of alphabet on them from a scategories game. Does St. Expedite divine this way? The need is real and urgent, and I am sure he knows my skill level web dev and marketing wise, but I worry about having invoked Bune 3 times in past month for the same thing.

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I think you’re too fixated on the candles, tbh.

A lot of these drawn out prayers come from the tradition of “novenas” (nine days of prayer)

The important part is the actual praying, willing, and intending.

It’s like rolling a boulder uphill, and when you get to the end you let it loose!

Or tightening a bowstring, rollercoaster going up, etc.

In your shoes, I would light the candle everytime I do the prayer, sit with it a bit and contemplate, then put it out…until I got to the end of prayers. I would let it burn down on the final day.

It’s really more a question of how you can effectively create and build the energy with your prayers.

Think about what else you might be able to do around the practice to strengthen it and your goal.

They might stop your candles. But they can’t stop your spirit. Use that spiritual fire and fervor. Muster yourself and power on, candles or not.

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Yes. The point imop of the 7 day candles, is to build up the energy you need for the working, the candle and all that helps direct your intent, give energy for what they are doing for you etc.

Most cases where I’ve chosen Saints, I need much faster results than 7 days, I also think the 7 day candles from the dollar store suck balls, wal-mart quality isn’t much and it’s just about as disrespectful and disappointing to use them than it is to do a single ritual and use a candle that will be done on 2 hours top.

Don’t do the same work again with a different unless you’re certain for some reason you aren’t going to get that amount.

Instead do a second working for an amount that is about half of what you need, is for something else’s etc.

I’ve never gotten money when I couldn’t stop obsessing over the need- ever.

However I’ve gotten every sum I have asked for that hasn’t been dire. As such I take the approach that no matter how bad I need it when I’m in ritual, by the time I’m done with ritual it needs to feel like I’m just waiting for the magic, the amount isn’t that big of a deal, my magic will deliver or whatever it is to get me to stop obsessing over I need it. It can be as easy as reading a book or watching tv to get my mind off it.

As far as all the rest of it goes, you’re a bit of rambler, that’s okay I do it too, but I slept late and just woke up, so I may have missed something!

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Prayers ARE a form of working, and they are without candles.

Everything in magic is energy, so find another way to build the energy faster. You can do this with prayer. Instead of having a candle passively burn, you can build more energy than that faster with a prayer ritual of focused intention.

Take the prayers and spend a hour or as long as it takes, giving it everything you’ve got, until you’re so tired you don’t care anymore, you have nothing left to feel. You can’t give more than that and I means more than the external, neutral energy of a candle.

Appriach from a place of certainty not begging, of gratitute not fear, and let it rip.

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Wow, that’s a mixed blessing. Despite now having a car, I’m sorry to hear how that worked out. My condolences. Good grandmas are priceless.

Did you only ask Bune for that, or did you originally ask St. Expedite, as well?

I’ve read such nice things about Bime (feminine side of Bune)

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I would not assume this was a result of your magic, I usually think needing to specify no harm is overkill in money workings- it usually takes a lot to kill a person and most money workings don’t even come close to the energy required to knock someone off for you to receive an inheritance.

I would assume she was going to die anyways, and the working you did allowed you to have favor when it came to the car and who it would go to.

If you hadn’t done the working and she had died anyway, where would the car have gone?

Feeling guilt over something you don’t even know if you caused is probably not good, and I missed the point until @Daedalus replied, I’m awful first thing In The morning no matter how hard I’m trying to focus on details.

Basically don’t assume this, I think you’re putting karma/negative energy on yourself that doesn’t sound warranted in any way.

I wouldn’t even assume it was stess from you sharing your problems- she was your grandmother so she probably already knew about their behavior at some point, even if she never expressed it. She would have been alive longer and had more exposure to the people in your life and memories that she could recall, than you would have being much younger. (Than your grandmother)

They might not have called it a narc back in the day, but the personality type people are referring to when they use the label isn’t a new thing. So I can’t even contribute it to stress of your dilemma easily.

Unfortunately as hard as it, people die everyday for reasons that have nothing to do with the people they left behind.

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I asked Bune (starting weeks before) for a certain sum of money and did mention the vehicle as part of the reason for the need of the money the first time, the second invocation I imagined myself able to get a car and move forward, away from my horrendous family (not one that died). But this is why I added “No harm to anyone”.

For St. Expedite, I was much more prepared, and I have experience with him. I asked for a flat sum of money as well. At this point I already knew I was getting the vehicle.

It is across the state and my mother put herself in the middle of the situation with my uncle on fathers side (she is a covert narcissist to the nth degree). Also, guys, when I say narcissist, I don’t mean someone full of themselves, I mean full on NPD the the most extreme side you can be. Total madness.

So until I get money I will be unable to get the vehicle. Not to mention I only have until Dec 20th and I am totally homeless. I asked St Expedite for a large sum. I am unable to even start working on my online business ventures (affiliate marketing and an occult website I am going to start so I have something I do that I love for part of the time). Like I am flat broke. I have a DUI case I’d like to get a lawyer for, etc. Not to mention I am a felon so getting an apartment is already going to be an extreme challenge even with the money.

I have to add I still have not slept. My sister just showed up and I had been setting up an ancestor altar in my other closet and I saged it. She lost it and I feel like she might kick me out now. So I am very worried about lighting those candles. It’s so stupid. I need to say my prayer to st expedite now because I missed it last night.

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Thank you for this. This was the other possibility. But my sister was visit her ironically at the time and she was in a rehab and suddenly out of nowhere took a turn for the worst and they sent her to hospice where she died immediately. My sister said it was weird how quick it was out of the blue. But she was ready to die . It just sucks because she was my rock through this narcissistic mind fuckery and our last conversation she wouldn’t let me get a word in because I had gotten arrested and my mother lied to her and told her I was on drugs etc. She hung up on me. We had never argued nor had she blew up like that and hung up on me ever. I never talked to her again. Two days ago my grandmother was tearing me down , lying on me etc and I couldn’t take it anymore, but I went to go call my other grandmother who always was the voice of reason…but shes gone. Fuck.

Anyways , the vehicle is still not in my possession and I can’t get it until I have the money to enroll in DUI school and register it, etc. On top of that I have 3 weeks to get an apartment. If I got $8-10k I would be good, and I could get the little things I need for online business stuff , get vehicle here, get lawyer, etc.

Does the St. Expedite ritual die out if I don’t put the correct energy into it?

I am confused by this build up of prayer energy. I am so used to the 9 day candles. Also, I have been saying the same prayer the past 3 times I have said it. It’s the prayer for "Financial emergencies"…but it sounds like it’s being suggested that I do the 9 day novena prayers that are different every day. I am confused.

I literally have one small green candle left 6". I was going to use for the $500 ritual posted on this forum so I could at least get my online business stuff going.

I read other mention Price seere (I think?) and one other that is quick like St. Expedite, but I am thinking I’ll run into the same issue. I have done the NAP ritual 3 days and Nitika is a no go. I do actually believe that the pdfs are much less effective. I purchased 2 GoM books (I MUCH prefer books than reading ebooks) and I get solid, consistent results from them. But I would purchase the actual books in a heartbeat if they put even a couple hundred bucks in my pocket, so they are kind of shooting themselves in the foot if that’s the case.

So , for those that have made it through my ramblings and other ADHD related storytelling. If you were me with said situations. Literally zero dollars right now. No car yet (but I do have one so obviously that is great). What would you do?

I am way to skilled to be in this position… I have a lot of self work to do when I get out of this rut and away from the vampires I am surrounded by.

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I understand it’s a desperate situation. I would encourage you to break it down into smaller problems, not to obsess over how much money you need, but rather seek answers for each smaller problem.

Maybe someone will offer to pay for the dui school, if you put it out there you need this and have no avenue to do it on your own. Maybe there’s an application for reduced cost or a payment plan. My personal restitution is on an income based payment plan…

Maybe this and maybe that, but I can see your desperation will hurt the works you do, and you have got a whole mess, not one problem.

I’d take out a piece of paper and try to list the different situations. It doesn’t need to be exact but you need to define to your mind that you have ten problems of reasonable size, not one life ending problem.

Once you have a list then do your work, tackle it one problem at the time starting at the most dire need. If you need three days to do all the rituals you need three days.

Stop obsessing over candle color/size etc. it’s not that important to any ritual. The candle is something for your mind, the physical action of burning it and charging it or whatever you do is only releasing the energy you’ve built up towards your intent…

You can use a candle in your mind if you can get over the material hump with your mind, you can use a small part of it for each of three or four rituals or you could use if for the need that’s the most dire.

It doesn’t matter how you use it, you just need your mind to know what it’s doing with the energy your releasing, so all this hemming and hawing over 4” white taper doesn’t equate to a larger candle is actually only making it harder to get your result as you are making your mind/energy real confused about whether it will work or not and if it should be bothered to try to help you out.

Take a deep breath. The worlds not ending and somehow no matter how awful the shit situation I was in, tackling the problems in the order of importance is the way to go.

No good comes from panic in the heat of the moment, and if you’ve seen anyone be cool, calm and collected when shit hits the fan, it’s probably because they took a step back and recognized which things they could do and just got started.

Then calm down and prove it, cuz atm you are not making a very good case for this. No offense!! Once in a while I need whacked in the face with a baseball bat myself. :blush:

Also if you look into it, you’ll find it’s not uncommon for people to regret their last conversation with a loved one. You may need emotional support or some help, but you will be okay.

I’ve done it too, and no amount of beating yourself up changes it. You can only choose to make sure you don’t leave conversations in a bad light going forward.

But odds are grandmas had the experience herself or of being mad at someone and understood that anger does not equate to a sudden stoppage of love.

It becomes really clear once you’re a parent and you realize how awful people can be to you and you still love them and want the best for them anyways.

Also for the record, no matter how many I’ve known that have died, or how many people I’ve been around who have had someone died, no matter how many funerals- someone is always upset it was sudden, unexpected, etc.

Even when people are sick for years, only the family really expects it when it’s time and even then sometimes it surprises them.

Also people will say shit when they are grieving to get a rise out of other peoples dander, because of their own pain.

Your sister could have been doing this or just been trying to convince you magic is evil or that you did it or any number of agendized items. Sometimes people just want something to blame because their coping skills suck, also.

Half the time if you ask someone about something they said while grief is new- later, they don’t even remember saying it or the context surrounding why they said it.

Grief is simply a powerful and sometimes overwhelming emotional for people. Logic, reasoning and everything else is often thrown right out the damned window. People grieving often are at their worst and their true colors often come out as well.

You will get through this and be okay, even if you can’t perceive how right now or the process is difficult.

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Since you mentioned Nitika…

An excellent post that discusses something similar to what we have been trying to tell you.

The above post should be illuminating.

No, you’ve misunderstood. The novena thing was to illustrate a process. Namely that of repeated prayer affirming and voicing your will and intent.

You can say the same prayer you’ve been doing and drop the candles and whatnot altogether, if you wish.

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In my experience, St. Expedite is a bunch of s*t!. He didn’t do anything for me. In fact, I went through the entire process of setting up an altar for him and had the roses and pound cake ready for him. Things got worse! I even got evicted months later! That happened years ago.

I understand what the OP is going through.

Deal with Duchess Bune or even Clauneck. Since you already have a business, @Pythagophyte, Clauneck and Mammon should be able to give you a boost, since having a business is a criterion for dealing with them.

Lord Belial is excellent at dealing with legal issues and a*holes like the ones in your family. He will put them in their place. I can assure you of that.

I also give this final piece of advice, to find new family and friends. The path of a magickian is a lonely one, indeed. And family does not just mean people related by blood. Yes, “Blood is thicker than water.” It is also BS.

St. Expedite is BS. Leave that mother*ker alone!

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It’s terrible to hear about these things. I feel for you!

Ultimately, though, it doesn’t matter if your family treats you like trash. You are not what they say.

People’s own hurt and pain, their toxicity, will flat out lie to you — much like it lies to them.

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter if “you”, your human incarnation, became a felon due to your stress reactions.

You can always reset.

Just like a computer

You are actually good, even if you’ve made mistakes. Even if abuse has driven you to bad things.

A lot of people go through these things. A lot of people then do bad things themselves, as that’s what they’ve basically been taught. It’s the up close examples they’ve been given. Bad models.

Yet it can all change now, especially with your reality softening efforts. Most change, in fact, occurs very rapidly — even if sometimes the preperation takes awhile. Or even if we ourselves dwell too long in the preparation phase.

Consider resetting and finding your center. I think your current desperation will do you in, so move beyond it. Perhaps reset, feel some real love for yourself… realize in a deep way you are divine… then move on from a POWERFUL place, ok?

Your magick will work far better if you take some time to reset and center.

Please consider trying to keep the housing situation with your sister. Keep some stability. You need to exit this panic. Some stability, even a little, can go a long way In a situation like this. Perhaps apologize to her, and even do a forgiveness ritual with her in mind… even if you’re not wrong. Just a little something to clear the “vibe” and give you some needed stability for awhile.

I know forgiveness can be complicated for some. Mulberry may have alternatives that are not forgiveness based. Maybe just a type of spiritual “palette cleanser”.

You can also tell your sister often how much you love her and appreciate her. It’s extremely kind that she opened her home to you.

Even basic gratitude is a type of magick. But a simmering level of gratitude. Too much gratitude I think backfires. Notice how very successful people mix gratitude with almost a sense of entitlement. There has to be balance.

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So this reply is for everyone. Thank you all for your thoughtful posts etc. Keteriya, you were very logical. But there is a a reason I am going about it the way I am. But it’s too late now , bad …happened.

Things just went from bad to is this shit happening because of something I did / or attached to me?..

Right after I posted that last reply I had mentioned my sister lost it over the fact that I saged my room because she had said no candles and no incense (because of my grandmother). At this point I haven’t slept in 3 days because of this crap. My grandmother texted me this morning saying she wants the rest of her candle stuff (that she GAVE ME). Somehow she has the support of my aunt and now mother who say I was trying to DESTROY her and stole her stuff. I decided to block my grandmother , sage and do whatever I had to do with this St Expedite ritual and be done with it.

Well I had one small red chime candle. I put it on altar with fast luck oil, did prayer etc. Based on flame there was def contact with spirit. I don’t KNOW that for a fact, but from my experience it wasn’t the candle. it popped and then got very high and steady then stayed that way. Like he was announcing himself.

About 3-5 minutes later I get a phone call. It’s my sister. She says she has talked it over with her husband and I have to go. TODAY. Where?! I said. I had apologized already, continued to do so., but she said decision is made. She was already having issues (she didn’t elaborate) and didn’t want people there so this was perfect. She said they will have an Uber meet her there in 2 hours, have all stuff packed.

Wow. I thought my sister was better then them. Then I called my mother. She was hysterical (mean not sad) on phone , said “YOU burned sage and you’re doing shit with candles like some weirdo!! WE ARE DONE. GRANDMOM IS IN TEARS. She said she gave you $1,000 to go out and get whatever you wanted…” (Hold up, if she had done that I would already have a full affiliate marketing campign going and at least one site up… what a bold lie).
Anyways, I didn’t get 3 words in. I haven’t done anything to my mother at all, but you’d think I was an abusive , horrendous son , I am in the fucking twilight zone. She then proceeded to block me. Meanwhile, my sister is pressingme to have all my shit packed and get a car load full of stuff in an uber and just go somewhere, destination “she doesn’t care” and everyone is now behind my grandmother that can help me. I am in disbelief. This reminded me of the documentary I watched on Damien Echols and Johnny Depp about the “Memphis Three” (it was clear in the documentary everyone in that situation was under the control of some heavy black magic).

My mother just told me the other day we aren’t talking to my grandmother anymore, now she’s taken her side…and blocked me? I basically wouldn’t leave until I had a destination. My sisters husband started getting pushy…Ok so I shouldn’t have burned the sage. I did not think that was included in her rules but, I apoligzed and explained… didn’t matter. So even though lease is paid up til Dec 20th, she’s turning in key tomorrow. $2700 down the drain (monthly rent). Now my aunt was supposed to move in too but they are saying they are done. My aun’t just filed bankruptcy and is my grandmothers yes man now because she has been helping her.

I have been quiet, helped with whatever is needed (was my grandmothers slave), polite to my sister. But they want to not only throw me out but wait until peak moment to do the most damage. This has happened with my mom repeatedly my whole life, grandmother, and now my sister did it.

I don’t know what to think. Did the ritual go backwards? IS this supposed to happen? Eventually my mother agreed to pay for 2 nights (but just one day) in a hotel no where near where they live , where I am at now. THen I am on my own…wow. I had a TON of stuff at this hotel. Haven’t done a thing wrong. Pleaded and offered to pay weekly , whatever she needed, but my sister and her husband , wanted me out.

I had done a freezer spell on my grandmother 2 nights ago but clearly that;s not working. Small bottle spell. I took it before I left.

So now I am really screwed and this is what I was afraid of. IF I got a lump sum of money I could take care of everything at once. But now I literally have NOWHERE to live. My mother has blocked me for no apparent reason other than a covert narcissist just wants to be the victim. And my life is either about to be saved by a miracle or I am totally fucked.

I said to my sister, so after day two at random hotel, then what? Her husband said “get a job” snidely. Obviously that isn’t even logical and there is no scenario short of an absolute miracle that anyone could possibly see this not ending in complete disaster. I was so close.

I kept asking my sister about the car and not getting a response. Are they really plotting to screw me on that too? Why? (rhetorical questions)

If I had $10k tomorrow or even less, enough to get what I needed and pay my mother to go get vehicle before she convinces my uncle to sell it or whatever. Tuesday at noon I am out on street right by the airport, nowhere near any of them. (My sister even commented, you want to go to St Pete, you said you wanted to move back down there…, yeah I said, AFTER I got some money saved up got a car etc. She knows this. It’s almost like a joke. The anger I have right now

I know people that are complete pieces of shit to their families, steal, lie, are lazy etc, and their family forgives them, gives them positive reinforcement, etc. I haven’t done shit. Nothing. Ok, I am done ranting. I am sorry, this is just hard to believe. To the point I almost feel like it might be magick I did causing this. It’s too evil and illogical. But that’s been the name of the game since June.

Luckily, I brought all my magick stuff to hotel with me. Obviously I knew this was my only shot. I finished small red candle with St Expedite altar already and as it burned out replaced that one with a gold candle and said prayer again.

Now I am about to go over to ancestor altar I created today. I have never done that before. But with my father and grandmother as part of it, it might be good for me regardless.

Any ideas on what I should do magickal wise? I don’t want to do to much. I worry that I asked both Bune and St Expedite for money (different amounts and its been a couple weeks since Bune).

  • I have seen Price Seer mentioned for quick cash. Nitika has never produced anything for me as of yet. I did the magickal cashbook this summer and got nothing. I feel like the NAP maybe isn’t working because it’s a pdf? I don’t know if I should be bothering Bune again at all unless I get some money. Am I wrong?

  • I have two 7 days glass candles. One it a plain white one. One is a green one for St. Jude , the cheap kind with plastic image. I have one 6" green candle, some white ones, 5-6 black ones, 2 orange, purple taper and white taper. (as far as candles go).

I know someone give me hope. I have been working so hard to get my life back (working on semantics of a small venture with my friend selling oils etc, but it’s not going to be making money soon enough. They were going to leave me in the torrential rain with all my shit. Was going to get a small job at autozone tomorrow by my sisters just to bring cash in to be able to get car etc. I am trying not to let the anger and desire for revenge take over.

I don’t have any room for error, or much of anything. They have infected every person in our family and the only one who had my back is now dead.

As far as mission critical right now, I feel I need to:

- Do my ancestor ritual, and any other suggestions you guys have that might be doable tonight.

- Take it to the next step with this freezer spell bottle (for malignant narc grandmother) so that problem / gossip and lies are stopped for good.

  • What should I do with that bottle spell from freezer, short of burying it in a graveyard ? (it’s just not close enough lol)? I have more hair. Yeah , I used hair.

- Get a good nights rest

I need to have somewhere to go Tuesday. I need to get that vehicle before they tell my uncle to sell it or something, which will happen fast.

- If it were you in my shoes, what would you do ,magickally ,before anything else?

  • Would me uploading my natal chart help (I have SolarFire software I use for that)?**
    I have always been weird about doing that because I heard it’s dangerous to do so. Like self identifying etc.

Side note*: I have been trying to determine settings and type of charts, transits, alignments, etc (not the obvious ones that people tell you about) to use with SolarFire. I have some info to go on already and it’s lead me to Fixed Stars, I’ll leave it at that, but I have about 10,000 different combinations of options and settings and charts for that. When I have money I plan on purchasing Christopher Warnocks course. But just PM me and we can exchange some info.

If anyone has similar experience with these kind of parents/ family members I am all ears.

After this is said and done and I am at least in a temporarily stable housing situation, I am going to focus on working on myself. I have a lot of skill, and I am really good at what I do (business,digital marketing, marketing research, web design and dev). But This past year has brought to my attention the severity to which I need to work on fixing defense mechanisms, poor communication skills, impulsive behavior, addictive behavior, etc. Once I am away from them for a year, even a couple months, my anxiety will go wayyy down.

Bitcoin Armory
I had $200 worth of bitcoins back in April and used bitcoin Armory to send from one computer to another. I never received the bitcoins , the transaction disappeared compeltely. I have tried to recover for past 2 months to no avail. I have been dealing with bitrcoin since 2010. $200 (if it’s worth that now) is food, web hosting, and a hotel at the least.

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I know what it’s like to be kicked out on the street by your family and have no one to count on. I don’t know where you are but see if there are any shelters, churches, or other places you can stay. Keep only your essentials. Throw everything else away. Your main issue right now is to get stabilized with a roof over your head. Everything else follows from that. I have mentioned in other posts how I used to do invocations with nothing inside homeless shelters. All is in mind. All magick is in the mind.

May the spirits bless you and give you peace.

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I have $2k worth of laptops with me, all my magickal supplies, etc. Homeless shelters are an absolute last resort and not close to where I am. I am looking for answers to those questions I put in bold. I have tonight and tomorrow.

Need some emergency , potent material and advice.

  • The job I was going to try and get (if it was still available in a week or two) paid $156-211k per year for running a Marketing team. I just needed the time to make a portfolio, get myself back into the tech field. I have been serving tables for 2 years. That was just totlly sabotaged. There’s no point in contacting anyone in my family because the two narcs have poisened the well.

  • I would like to know options to quickly deal with the one I have a bottle spell already for.

I just need a shot or a little time.

Oxley was a genius at Host Gator, all employees live on campus. That would be beautiful right now.

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You and your family are all programmable matter. For whatever reason, you can usually influence people the fastest.

Add “I am treated well by my family”, “I am loved”, and “I am loved by my family” to your nightly programmings.

Add whatever you can’t say with I Am statement as simple statement without using negations.

So perhaps also add statements such “My family is generous with with me” and “My family is kind to me”. It’ll elicit a different version of them.

Do not bother to program your conscious mind. You seem like you’d be highly resistant.

Only do this while in deep trance (or meditation), before bed, or during bed with sleep loops you can easily make on your phone or computer. If you have a Windows, you can use something like Neuroprogrammer 3.

Speak very slowly for sleep programming. Usually 45 to 60bpm. Use the band “Spain” for example. You want it to sound almost impossibly slow, so you do not disturb your sleep.

If you must use “magick”, sounds like a job for self-transformation angels.

Get “The Angels of Alchemy”. I overlooked this book for a couple of years, because it looked silly… but it’s actually intensely powerful. Based on the Shorshei Ha-Shemot, which was called “too holy to print” until recently.

These angels can literally start helping you with all these days today. They’re great.

Although a reset, as I talked about, will help create a more fertile ground.

In general, when everything goes to hell, do self-work

Then go live with Oxley. He has a dude ranch now. He still needs people.

My recent business associate James sells domains to him all the time. When he can’t sell a domain to someone else, he sells it to Oxley lol. Oxley has a ton of money, dude.

I was targeted by an asshole friend who was stealing from me, then attacked me when I got incredibly sick and septic earlier this year. A literal coward thief who attempted to kill me when I most vulnerable. Although I was operating at a different level, at the moment I’m in a similar boat at you.

Also have quite a few bitcoin in limbo. Mined them around the same time, but didn’t view them as too valuable after one guy paid 10000BTC for a pizza lol.

Some of this mundane crap just takes awhile to fix…. You just have to take one thing at a time. Chip away at it. Keteriya’ s advice was absolutely fantastic in terms of sequencing and organization.

In a way, the parts that are alterable with self-programming and magick are a bit easier. But not when you panic… so count your blessings. Focus on the solid ground beneath your feet right now, thanks to your sister.

Since she seems reasonable, maintain a positive relationship with her using solid face to face relationship skills. Meanwhile elicit a different version of the rest of your family using a variety of manifestation methods. You seem to like rituals, so do that. Whatever you’re good at. Although it seems candles are causing issues — so perhaps look at alternate formats.

I think rituals are fun, too. Some help clarify what you are doing. I’ll probably even try Saint Expedite after reading all this.

However, keep in mind, you can do internal mind magick very easily without getting caught. No one has to know.

Lastly, GET SOME SLEEP. In fact, take naps. Consider impregnating your reality each time you do so with pre and during sleep programming. Every time you don’t plant seeds before or during sleep, you miss a valuable opportunity.

I used to HATE sleeping. It’s like I’m an eternal kid or something. However, by doing meditation before sleep and/or using sleep loops, I actually look forward to sleep. Now I know when I wake up, things are usually better. Sometimes in just a small way some days… but small is good, too!

You inch forward sometimes. It’s fine. Progress is progress. As long as you’re moving forward, you’ll get to somewhere better soon enough.

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Also, I’ll mention that when my life burned down, one of the most valuable things was doing really simple archangel magic.

Such as the basic and “advanced” archangel calling from Archangels of Magic.

Both are quite easy, actually — but I was SO traumatized at the time, even “easy” was hard. It was hard to read (still is a bit honestly). Hard to think one thought after the other.

I was having flashbacks to being homeless as a teen, and abused as a helpless child at the hands of my grandfather.

So it was hard to do anything… but when I finally learned simple archangel calls and actually did them regularly, things improved.

The archangels calmed me right down, removed suicidal thoughts, and allowed me to focus better.

Angels easily get rid of feelings of dread. They definitely provide the feeling of hope. The feeling that there’s a future for you.

Maybe they can help you, too.

When I almost dead, collapsed and couldn’t move… I said “fuck it I’m ready to die”

They then came out nowhere, touched everywhere I hurt. Touched my head, touched my heart, and very literally saved my life. They touched and helped to fix my left leg. One of the blood clots I had in my leg has now disappeared. I even seem to be able to eat foods with vitamin k in them now. I couldn’t do that before!

It was like one of the fantastical NDE videos on YouTube, minus the actual NDE. Blew me away.

Archangels are definitely good ones to call life is collapsing. They will stabilize you and help put you on a better path.

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