Still a day behind. Le sigh…
Yesterday, no dream recall. Bad sleep habits stayed up too late the night before. I remember waking up with some kind of distinct impression from what I dreamt but I’ve forgotten that too.
No Qigong, lack of discipline I suppose. For some reason I refer doing it at work on my lunch break. But if I don’t, it seems like I’m very much less inclined to do it at home.
Am I too comfortable at home? This might be something I need to correct and/or war against…
I went thrifting after work, on the hunt for potential ritual items or things for my sacred space(s) or altar.
I found two large green glass goblets. My first thought was…“Hekate”…
They’re an interesting shade of absinthe green. That sort of otherworldly, undead, underworld sort of green…
I purchased them, and they will serve as candleholders primarily, but could also be used for libations. They’re large enough that I can turn them over to choke candles.
At a different thrift store I acuired two stainless steel mixing bowls that had tones I liked. Poor man’s bells, they can sing if I use my small Tibetan bowls mallet but aren’t very loud. Great bells, so, so singing bowls…
If I were to acquire more than a few I could probably get real crazy and have a bell fest in my home. Not to mention I could use them for their otherwise intended purpose…
When I got home, I cleaned my new items and experimented with my “bells”.
I placed Hekates new altar pieces in her space.
I felt the need to Christen these and wanted to show some love to Hekate. I lit two tealights in the new items and lit a stick of rose incense and two cones of frankincense.
I felt like I was being asked to commune, so I turned off the lights and sat in front of the altar trying to clear my mind…
I decided to take this a step further and brought out my black mirror and placed it on the wall. Unfortunately this doesn’t work out so good because it ends up sitting a little high. I was undeterred though.
After a bit I started to see in my mind’s eye, a hag or crone in the mirror…(“interesting…I don’t feel like that’s Hekate though…shit. I don’t wanna be dealing with this kinda thing…”)
Tbh, I didn’t have a set intention when staring in the mirror other than to practice scrying and maybe see Hekate if my senses weren’t too dull at that moment.
At some point I saw arms come out of the mirror and this crone spirit pulled itself through (in my mind’s eye) after I tried to push it back in a few times. How annoying…(this better not lead to some fucked up nightmares…)
I made some statements of what wouldn’t be tolerated, and had a few faces made at me or whatever but all in all whatever this was didn’t really cause any issue beyond annoyance.
Funnily enough, despite it’s previous stubbornness it very politely floated back into the mirror and dissappeared when I gave the disssmissal for anything that may have come through during this session. In fact it left before I could even finish said dissmissal.
Go figure. 
I then was watching a stream for a few hours.
At some point I started to sense a very creepy sensation around me that seemed to be drawn by the conversation of the stream. But this later stopped after a few mins. Hmmmm…whatever.
Towards the end of the stream I made some shells and cheese and while I was cooking I felt some tingles on my left leg and around my head. I verbally acknowledged these sensations, “oh, okay. I definitely feel that! Saying hi?”
The previous day I got a lot of tingles on my head when I got an altar setup for charging my servitor/familiars.
Excitement or interest because I was doing something more formal than usual I guess.
Got to bed late last night. Went to sleep around 1am.
Earlier that night I’d been thinking that I should start doing Raziel’s anti-attachment and parasite mantra for awhile. I feel like it might do me some good. Also, it would be a new discipline to practice for awhile.
I might do some of the other mantras as well…
Something else to note:
A previous day I noted that I’d seen a female entity sewing up my heartspace with red thread.
I saw this female again later. She seemed drawn to my heart for some reason. Licking it, and seemingly massaging it? Wierd…(to be clear, I didn’t sense any malice or nefarious intention or I’d have been in “go mode” and astrally fought this. I did however bat her away with my hand out of annoyance)
Haven’t seen her since that though.
I didn’t really get any other sensations. I know astral sight can be a little wierd, but it’s a little hard for me not to want to write it off as unconscious bullshit or psychodrama…I remain a bit of a skeptical person despite my magical practice at times. I don’t want to get sucked into a rabbithole of my own making and delusion. Anyway…
Feb 5th '21 Friday:
No dream recall, sleep was meh and I kept hitting snooze.
I’m a bit dissapointed because earlier in the week I was getting tired around 8pm and going to bed early and rising at a better time more appropriately. Now that’s a bit out the window. Haha
Today was a rather ho hum kinda day.
I was feeling a certain way thought and had contemplated invoking Satan, but then thought better of it, because it was a slow low energy kind of day and I wasn’t sure I needed to be adversarial and shit in that kind of environment. Aw, well. Maybe next time. Hahahaha
Actually I thought I got an impression of being told something to the effect of “you aren’t ready”. Excusé moi? Lol
Something funny however must be noted.
If I go back a day…
I was seeing a lot of green at the thrift stores. I had actually gone to Walmart and noticed some folks wearing green as well (not to mention the green glasses I’d bought).
The two days before that I’d felt compelled to wear my one green shirt to work twice.
Leaving work I realized that the office lady was wearing a green shirt.
What does it mean?…
I received my copy of Damon Brands "Archangels of Magick today. How exciting.
I’ve already used one of the talismans in the book. “To realize ones gifts”
I’ll see what happens.
I might incorporate the opening ritual (basically circlecasting) into my Qigong practice before I build energy and see how that goes…
Edit:
Things I was contemplating the other day…
1: Reiki…I’m sure I could do reiki. It could represent a supplementary income opportunity if I was to learn and do it off and on for people or whatever. Otherwise I’d just do it for myself primarily anyway…
2: Something I’ve already been doing for awhile is that I like to imbue things with runes by drawing them out with the index and middle fingers of my right hand and pushing the energy into something.
It occurred to me, inspired by ninja kuji…that, I could do something similar with runes. Moreover, using runes baneful aspects (merkstave) one could draw them out and then “strike” with the sword hand mudra. On the opposite end, runes could be drawn out and projected to the recipient for healing or whatever the intended goal is.
Actually, now that I typed it out it doesn’t. Seem like a very groundbreaking idea. At any rate…