Welcome back!
I didn’t find a CyberSpirit, maybe that was anonymized, but @The_Firestorm is a recoverable account. Do you want to go back to that account of just keep it here as a fresh start?
There’s lots of people on here with this scenario, it just means you adapt to using tool-free magick, more along the lines of visualizations, shamanic journeys and the use of astral temples rather than physical ones. It helps if you can visualize but even if you have aphantasia it’s doable. Working in private spaces like the shower (great for cleansings) works well.
You might be interested in Lady Eva’s post about Core Shamanism here, and Tool Free magick using just your hands here.
And we collected together all the good stuff into a ginormous megathread for reference: book mark this baby for some light reading on a cold winter night 
We have an intro rule that has come to the fore in recent years, so if you could make your Introduction HERE [ ← click me! ], that would be great,
Link to the rules and see our posting guidelines in the FAQ.
Points to cover:
- Do you have any practical experience in magick?
- If so, what exactly do you practice and
- How long have you practiced?
- Do you follow any specific system or tradition?
- What are your areas of interest? [you already said this part a link here might be easier and I can help with that if it’s tricky]
Stick around and keep us updated, hope you feel better soon!