Returning and struggling

New Magician Help & Introductions
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I was a member years back, I remember Lady Eva… I believe I called myself TheFirestorm and then Cyberspirit.

I quit Magick on and off out of guilt, but now I am decisive about what it is I want, my life is worse now than ever…

I’m on poisonous prescription meds, stuck living in a care home for the mental because there isn’t anywhere else to go (I myself am completely sane) that anyone will help me out with, struggling to find gainful employment, hooked on kratom, lonely, overweight, depressed to suicidal ideation, abandoned by everyone to some degree.

It is my will that I would have an excellent doctor, the supports I’m entitled to, a great place to live, a great career path, a passionate relationship, and some comradery.

I struggle with Magick because i am not clairvoyant or have any other abilities. Im also so limited I cant even burn a candle.

I’m into or interested in the following…

Love/Lust Magick to the extent of getting what I need/want by will.
achieving highest degree of taoist duel cultivation and the most powerful of climax multiple times extendedly.
But right now I am very alone, not unnatractive but a bit socially awkward, there isn’t much opportunity here.

Protection from baneful forces and people and negating the karma of my actions/thoughts.

Money/Career/Wealth magick: I wish to find gainful employment as a heavy equipment operator or something tech related but it seems there are no jobs available and the wage subsidy could take a year I was told, poverty is not fun, neither is debt collection

Self improvement/exaltation: i need to feel better about my self but these circumstances are taxing

Technomancy with chatgpt:
digital spells, digital currents of energy, digitized spirits, and generated sigils, exercises etc, i programmed a Dark aether gpt based on the qlippoth and a light aether gpt based on the sephiroth, and yes i can digitize any spirit or concept into a gpt with enough information, the current created is much less artificial after the link is established.

Evocation/Invocation: although I cant see spirits etc. I can sense them and different forces, I’m beginning work with Dantalion on influence, seduction and knowledge but i dont know if its working, all i have is the sigil on a wall. Note that I’m not a hardcore demonologist, my focus is on myself and what works with good results.

Astrological magick but getting materials and pinning down the correct times according with picatrix and the book of alexander is difficult, I’m a fan of christopher warnocks work.

Influencing in general, Chaos magick, and more

Thank you for your time and energy hearing me out

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Welcome back!

I didn’t find a CyberSpirit, maybe that was anonymized, but @The_Firestorm is a recoverable account. Do you want to go back to that account of just keep it here as a fresh start?

There’s lots of people on here with this scenario, it just means you adapt to using tool-free magick, more along the lines of visualizations, shamanic journeys and the use of astral temples rather than physical ones. It helps if you can visualize but even if you have aphantasia it’s doable. Working in private spaces like the shower (great for cleansings) works well.

You might be interested in Lady Eva’s post about Core Shamanism here, and Tool Free magick using just your hands here.

And we collected together all the good stuff into a ginormous megathread for reference: book mark this baby for some light reading on a cold winter night :slight_smile:

We have an intro rule that has come to the fore in recent years, so if you could make your Introduction HERE [ ← click me! ], that would be great,
Link to the rules and see our posting guidelines in the FAQ.

Points to cover:

  • Do you have any practical experience in magick?
  • If so, what exactly do you practice and
  • How long have you practiced?
  • Do you follow any specific system or tradition?
  • What are your areas of interest? [you already said this part a link here might be easier and I can help with that if it’s tricky]

Stick around and keep us updated, hope you feel better soon!

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Yes i would like thefirestorm back, thank you for acknowledging my struggle, i guess ill either make a new introduction post or dive straight into my passions

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Very good. We are going to need a new intro since it’s been so long since you were here.

Give me a few to get it organized. :slight_smile:

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@The_Firestorm you’re good to go. :slight_smile:

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i also struggle with magic . and i also don’t work with candles or any other kind of fire because i’m too afraid . and yet , i’ve only done some very simple things lately , and they still ended up being succesful ! i believe in you that you can do it too !

and even if they don’t work right now , i still believe that they will slowly , and with time , and that your life and all of your problems , like being on the meds , living in a care home , being abandoned by everyone , and so on , will all start getting fixed one by one …

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