OP I have simped over a woman myself. Not even an ex GF but an unrequited love who put me in the friend zone for being a simp and then after I became too toxic got angry and slammed the metaphorical door in my face, telling me to never speak to her again. I was devastated.
I have since learned that my real problem was not what happened between me and her but what has been happening within MYSELF all these years. I have peeled the layers back layer by layer and uncovered buried trauma and a fear of death which not only is behind the vast majority of my problems, but most of humanity’s.
Even if tou get her back, it will not make you happy. In fact, it will only make you too complacent to heal within yourself that which is in need of healing in order to become happy.
For the sake of your own satisfaction, joy, happiness and capability to one day TRULY love (which so few of us are truly capable of, myself included at this point) I suggest you LOVE YOURSELF FIRST by healing yourself and everything within you that droce tou to be this needy. I will noy bullshit you and tell you this comes without pain. It most likely will come with AN IMMENSE AMOUNT OF IMMENSE PAIN. But once you get through it, you will be MUCH better off.
There are some suggestions I might have to greatly facilitate the process if you would like to DM me for them.
I would also tell you this on the subject of working with Goetic demons: I asked my teacher (a VERY powerful adept who once belonged to one of the ekite LHP orders that secretly runs this planet from the shadows) tk explain to me what the Goetic demons are and for general information on working with them. In the answers she provided, she warned me NOT to work with demons until I have done the rather intensive prerequisite work to porperly protect myself first. Most people on this site and on the rest of the internet seem to be under the impression that proper protection is either noy required or easilly achieved by merely doing the LBPR first, and based on what she said I HIGHLY doubt that is truly the case.
In fact, if I am being honest, I would not recommend the LHP for a number if reasons, and what is more I can say to you that based on what I have learned from her about the secret LHP orders that rule the world, what you find publically regarding the LHP is HIGHLY distorted.
Truly effective negative orders that really understand the LHP do not advertise themselves, nor do they share their philosophies, spiritual understandings or knowledge publically. People who are not among their orders who practice the LHP generally yemd to have bizarre or silly practices, very distorted understandings amd rather mixed “polarity” as one might call it. Although I am not sure if polarity ACTUALLY matters, as the materials utilized by highly effective negative and positive orders which emphasize polarity tend to be insidiously distorted in strategically brilliant ways by the adversarial force that is behind our imprisonment.
BOTH SIDES ARE BEING DEVIOUSLY MANIPULATED.
The Left Handed elite orders rightly point put the hypocrisy of MANY so called “positive” seekers. In fact THE VAST MAJORITY OF SEEMINGLY POSITIVE PEOPLE are really just going through the motions amd chasing a carrot at the end of a stick. On the rare (if ever occuring) occaision where we truly DO feel real compassion or love occurs, it is not long lasting, much less is it a permanent state. It happens, but once in a while at best. It is EXTREMELY RARE for anybody you meet to have a TRULY open heart. Quite often, it is dormant. This is most often due to lower chakra blockages which tend to remain unaddressed. Much more frequently (yet also rarely) one may come across somebody with the energetic configuration of a more developed negative adept: heavilly juiced up lower chakras, a completely closed heart chakra and opened upper chakras above the heart.
Still, I ha e determined after learning about the Family and their tens of thousands of years of karmic downward spiralling into DEEP and immense (yet often buried and suppressed) suffering that the LHP is in and of itself unwise. It is a spiritual path based on punching one’s own reflection in the mirror. Self loathing is what seems to truly drive it, constant dissatisfaction is what seems to provide it with a sense of meaning and dire misunderstanding of the truth is what seems to convince people that it is anything buy folly.
I admit that I myself do not yet have an ooen heart. And if I am being honest, I disapprove of tge saying “Do it because it’s the right thing to do” because I understand that all morality does is keep people in a disempowered state, not truly creating positivity at all. Yet as an act of sheer strategy, I utilize the practical heuristic of ethics (not morality. Big difference IMO) as a filler for true compassion until I have opened my heart chakra.
The opening of the Anahata is also in and of itself and act of strategy. Once my Anahata opens and STAYS open, I will have the compassion necessary to turn any cunning I may possess into TRUE wisdom. Based on what I have learned about the Family cold “wisdom” without compassion is not truly wisdom at all. It is AT BEST cunning and intellect and at worst pure self destructive arrogance of the highest order. Hell, even at BEST it is still that. Why do you think the Family suffers like they do? Hubris. It’s what drove them onto the LHP in the first place: this attitude that they know better than literally EVRYBODY ELSE in all of infinity what is best for them and that it is possible to outfox karma. Neither assumption is even REMOTELY true.
With compassion, I may gain wisdom, which will make me more powerful. My teacher was right: there is a kind of power which can only be found in recognizing the self in others.
The most horrifying prison on Earth to my knowledge (and that includes those of the astral realm, if one considers those to even be “on Earth”) is the human ego. I am endeavoring myself to the escape of all the prisons I inhabit and that VERY MUCH includes the prison of self importance, which just might be the very CAUSE of suffering in the first place. Developing compassion so that I may turn it into true wisdom is but one of the many (yet all essential) traits necessary to escape and be free and happy. Wise love will empower me to happiness and freedom in a way the LHP just clearly can’t.
Many Left Handed seekers criticize the RHP for not truly knowing themselves and in many cases they are right, but what they do not recognize is that they also do not know themselves either. They only know the illusory self presented by the ego. That “self” is a lie.
A warrior is utterly defeated by tyranny when allowing themselves to become tyrannical. I refuse to be defeated by tyranny in my quest for freedom and true knowledge. This is why I adhere to ethics amd endeavor to open my heart.
I suggest you do the same, amd for the same reasons.
Or not. I shall say to you what my teacher has said to me: “I do not care what you do. It is hard enough to save myself, much less anybody else”
Lust letting you know what time it is, nah’mean?
DM me if you care to talk any further about this kind of stuff. Or at least if you want some advice on bealing your current issues.