Hello everybody, my name is Heath and I have been in these forms before but that was years ago but I wasn’t banned. I just don’t remember my screening and password. I turned 41 on May 8 so imagine what’s going on with my memory ha ha ha…
I cannot believe how much I have learned over the years and I have learned so much about myself. I am now a fully dedicated and self initiated Luciferian. I have gained a lot of insight and knowledge. When I was young, I was a bit out there different, but it wasn’t until in my years that I became interested in alternative paths when I was going to a Christian school and what really triggered me to explore the fact, I did not identify as, a woman according to the Bible or whatever and I knew in my heart, I was definitely Something different so for a lack of better term, you could call me a transgender man or an intersex person with the identity of male. It was this point in time of the awareness of my identity is what started on alternative paths and even then because I thought god was a god of love I still hung on to those beliefs so I wouldn’t feel alienated or rejected to be truthful that feeling of rejection did some damage. I don’t have any issues with anybody personal paths. I do not attack anyone unless I’m provoked as I was growing up my mom who was basically, the main person to discipline me or whatever she was so confused I couldn’t understand me at all. She took me to so many psychologist lot of doctors. My mom loves me. She just didn’t have the knowledge that she does now and we have a good relationship because even for her, she had an aha moment , but she still is a religious Christian. I still constantly talked about God. Jesus the devil every single day I am not gonna lie drives me nuts, but she’s not trying to save me or push me a certain way gives her a sense of safety technically it’s a crutch for her and sad. You might be wandering why I am bringing it up well because I live mostly with my mom and my adult life and being on disability unfortunately she got me on disability because I read on the papers. It was determined I was intellectually dysfunctional and can’t control moods. Which, of course that is so not true about me and my adult years at my age now. You can bet your ass I am furious with that. Because knowledge was kept from me about stuff in the world like wiggles stuff laws social skills whatever try to keep me sheltered or whatever you wanna call that
Because I was getting fed up by the time I turned 18 and still having hangups on the devil being real in the Christian sense I was real angry so in my mind being ignorant, I decided to go ahead and except that they’re really is the devil and for the first time I bought the Satanic Bible by Anton LeVay And little did I know the actions. I did the pact with “Satan” at the time before I even read my book the pact had something to do with obtaining my desires and exchange for my soul. You know the typical and then I started to read the book and I was like a whole New World opened up for me. I became thirsty for more, I started explore everything from chaos magic traditional Satanism, atheistic Satanism, the type of Satanism and joy of Satan website. I have explored Kabbalah, Gnosticism, Wicca, Pagan, Santeria, Norse, Celtic , Hinduism etc You name it. The reason why I was so back-and-forth on any of these paths Was because I was looking for something to root myself into that had to do with finding my identity because I was rejected and rooted up so many times. Because I kept Constantly trying to find a place up belong I would seek out groups communities covens, none of them were for me. So this was when I was young, especially since I had a high sex drive, and I was looking for finding a girlfriend at the time that was into craft.
So guess what? Everything I’ve learned I have truly embraced myself. I have been freed I no longer my old self. I have found root within me. And I realized I had misplaced my power for so long into something outside of myself and when I really think about it, the right hand path is definitely not for me. So I am solitary by nature.
So what really kickstart me when I was still living with my mother in Texas with all her religious bullshit drove me nuts one day I went outside in nature with the sigil of Belial. I was so miserable where I was at, and I was drinking almost every day two weeks later after the invitation I was asking for help to get on my own feet and get a grip a sense of independence and master my own life. Well, in 2021 on June 19, I got in a horrible car accident. I was in a coma for three months. And what strange about being in that state Is that you feel that you are alive. And you are in a whole different reality or dimension I experienced what look like a purification process or a type of initiation. Example, even in my coma state, I knew I was in the hospital. I was seeing nurses run down the hallway and a frantic and one came in to tell me that the hospital was on fire and I felt the heat was in the dream in coma state, I figured I was good enough to help to get people out because that’s what the nurses were doing so that’s exactly what I did then me and this ambulance lady were the last ago in the ambulance. I wrote in the front seat while I was still in the hospital gown, we go to place like a ceremony for the horrible incident that happened. Police EMT firefighters. The whole town was basically there I was brought up on stage in a wheelchair. They said to me, even though I was a civilian, I found the courage and strength to do what I did and I was given a badge of honor. That was just one theme. That was more meaningful and significant was. I am walking in this place kind of like a space room or something, but there was a wall. It was a water flowing upward, but it was seawater and a beautiful woman walked out of it red hair, white skin green eyes I could have sworn, I thought it may have been Lilith or something like that. She communicated with me through her thoughts we both took a journey or she took me to a place where I felt my heart expand, and I told her my desire was to find a woman to be with for the rest of my life a for a wife or a partner, companion/lover In the way, she communicated to me. She said she was the one who delights in love and inspires it in humans. And then she read my thoughts and said not to worry because someone is coming and sure enough here I am in Florida with my fiancé and I have two stepsons and with a job and making a life for myself. There are other themes, but too many name.
With that being said this year after examination and a view of my life, I dedicate myself to Lucifer self initiated as a LuciferIan. I work with the Qlippoth And other primal sorceries. I am intentionally drawn to things and practices that was scare The living daylights out of someone. I pursue sorcery of a primal nature, Working with death magick , necromancy and utilizing bones, blood ,etc in my craft. The raw feeling I get When I into this inspires me and propels me and other avenues of creativity and what I can do in my life.
I forgot to note something here in my early 20s when I was involved with Satanism and leaning to the more traditional, I was aware of the Qlippoth, At that time, I was in a relationship with this chick all the way in Michigan doing research and gathering materials. I wanted to improve our relationship. So that was my intention, however, when I was done with it all the next day, she wanted to break up with me, knowing that I can’t give children, but she wanted that but at some point, we did get back together and our relationship lasted over three years. Looking back now the Qlippoth energies Seems to cause some really intense changes really quickly and can be unpredictable and chaotic and what I’ve learned is this is raw pure energy and it is definitely not for the faint of heart. However, when we are working with Demons or certain spirits of that nature like I was watching a video of EA Koetting Where he invoked a specific of spirit, I think Sorath? I am not sure I don’t remember but anyway, he said he wanted to improve finances or make more money and then he stated that everything went downhill unraveled and EA was like “ How can this be anything what I asked for?” But then he realized that’s exactly what he needed because he started fresh to become creative and now he’s been successful when it comes to wealth magick? So technically what I’m saying is with the Qlippoth Or certain type of demons we invoke, If you ask for something sometimes things are going to unravel and bring you to ruins only to be built back up and that is something I realized itself, so I started to learn to trust the process rather than Get stressed out and worry Into thinking all the magic I ever did backfired. It can seem like that not always because that’s a time where you have to learn to let go and go within your mind and find that illumination and spark of creativity, And you will be built up in the process when you take action. That requires a strong wheel in the amidst of chaos To direct the energy. I have learned as a beginner before that if you’re going to go down this path, you should work with only what you think you can handle and build your strength and trust in yourself.
So for me, I like a challenge I welcome it. But I have grown and adapted and have gain knowledge and wisdom so here I am now I am 41 years old and all the things that’s happened to me has made me a crazy bastard you gotta be somewhat insane to function and have a sense of humor. No matter what I go through or what experiences I have, I always been able to detach and go with the flow and find humor. And stay optimistic And of course, I know some people can’t handle that. It literally drives them nuts 
. I’ve learned to laugh at myself and not take life too seriously.
So I have returned here to share with others and to humble myself to learn as well.
PS Since I am doing this for cell phone, the reason why there’s some capital letters is because I was talking my text and didn’t feel like endlessly my fingers to text What I typed out here.
So I am very happy to be back and to freely share knowledge of what I know.