My self progression journal


#41

Someone came to me looking like a pretty Chinese girl! But with a white hat or headband! I don’t remember! She was looking at my face for a while… I started to panic so she went to my left side where I can’t see her… then I felt wind hitting me from everyside until I could move!
I am trying to remember the visions I had! I recall someone with a burning face! Flames where coming from the cheeks and the skin burn like paper! There was another skin under it! It was like I was watching papers burning on loop!
I have seen a white pyramid! Glowing in blackness with lots of symbols!
More meditation is a must!


#42

King Paimon: have you read the story of “psyche” from Greek mythology?
I’ll give you that as a riddle.


#43

:cry: more riddles!!! Thanks…


#44

shrugs
Well…I’m not that smart dude but I can try to help you buddy.
Fair?


#45

Life has been hectic this week… I went a while skipping the gym… my head is a busy place to be right now… “I’m fine it’s not my problem” dosnt cut it… I still get sucked in with family drama! And I have my own emotional imbalancement to figure out… I wish it’s that easy to just stop thinking about my family… it’s not my problem it’s theirs but I still worry about it… if they chose this it’s on them! I am happy in my little corner away from all that nonsense… I have my own ascent to work on! Some other spiritual stuff is puzzling me… I am trying to find or make my place! My reality is different than the people am with… I sometimes need to “step into their reality” just so I “fit in for the moment”! Making me feel like I am two faced freak… I thought I wasn’t doing that much magical shinangin! But I invoked Lucifer every night! I made some laminated sigil! I draw another Lucifer! He has been showing me weird visions! I banished and did the pillar exercise daily! I remember some of my dreams but my head was too busy to hold on to the memories or investigate…
The last dream I remember, I was running from a tsunami! Something told me to “jump”. When I did I landed in another dimension in a black forest! 2 men wearing black robs found me! I asked what is this place! He said “the place no one talks about”! Then he told me to get under the cover “it’s coming”! The cover was black veil you can see through it! Then some kind of rain fall? Idk I had to wake up there…
When I block people’s emotions I get angry and when I don’t I get sad… it’s conflicting with my relationship with spirits… I am projecting my emotions like an explosion… this got me scared to “talk” with spirits… I can’t focus like this! I hate the wait… my progress is too slow I feel it going backwards… one song was playing in my head while I sleep and throughout the day!


#46

Meditation when waking up makes going into TGS easier! I relax, see the rain, feel it on my skin and hear it, then see something’s! But shortly after I hear what sounded like water balloon explosion!!! And something like a laud clap!!! This sound kept snapping me out from the meditation state!! I went back into the sync about 5 times before my brain got tired and slept…
Trying to get to know Andromalius this time! :rofl: his name is difficult for me to remember so it took 2 days of just memorizing it! :disappointed_relieved: it’s embarrassing to call someone and forget their name! Rip I don’t remember his enn even though I am hearing his enn chant meditation for couple of days… memory issues… so planned to light a red pillar candle with his sigil under it! The least i could do for not remembering! :unamused:
While meditating I got this drilling pain on my head to my right side wisdom tooth! It was removed though… the pain felt like a bubble almost close to my right ear! It was there untill something popped! I believe it’s a blockage?
Lighting the candle all night seemed to give me this intense vibrations and pressure! I am guessing it’s Andromalius! :star_struck: can’t wait to see and draw something!


The candle bottom!


#47

So this dream was kind off a nightmare! A stranger grabbed my left hand and it started to hurt! it was infected and rotting!!! He was saying “SHE THINKS WE AREN’T RELATED”!! In my head I sow a baby crying and a birth certificate “Melek & Bathin” written on it as the parents!! I woke up and my cats came to cuddle me like they sensed something…
I know nothing about Bathin but I guess I’ll be working with him soon due to this dream! But who is Melek other than Melek Taus?
My head hurts alot and the buzz in my ears gets louder almost like hissing! I played some theta music and heard my name in it!!
So I cleansed and banished before I called Andromalius this night! Focus focus focus!!! I even tried scrying in the mirror… the snake got really laud like it’s on my neck going from ear to ear… my forehead felt hollow… the headache got intense and I stopped the ritual… left a candle and some chocolate out with his sigil! :thinking: I got bunch of dreams afterwards! I saw someone blurry! In the back of my head I was looking for the snake to identify if it’s Andromalius… the blurry figure let its tongue out and it was clear cut in half tongue!! :sweat_smile: so I got a blurry figure and snake tongue! What am I supposed to make of it!
I think he left by then since I woke up and went to sleep again! I was with 3 entities! Talking to one and 2 giving me the hug of my life! :hugs: massive hug that my muscles, bones, and nerves relaxed totally!!! I want that everyday :slight_smile:!
:thinking: I remember seeing “AZAZEL” written on a huge black tag! Like a store sign or something!!!
Ok back to my main goal of seeing Andromalius!!!


#48

I am not sure what I am getting from Andromalius… my dreams rendered me speechless… not sure if I was shown my past lives or what! But I was a different person couple of times… he still was just in the background… I was running around confused out of my mind… people acting weird towards me! First I was burning sigils and the wind was annoying! Someone was trying to help blocking the wind! He had a mafia feel to him so I was gonna go away… he grabbed my neck saying something about his BOSS! I started biting until he let me go! :no_mouth: then I find myself in a party running around! A guy looking like he stepped out of MMO was trying to talk to me but someone was dragging him away everytime… :disappointed_relieved: The last thing was me locking my self in a room trying to make sense of WTF is going on! Someone popped in the room out of nowhere! Got out a table with breakfast and fancy plates! He said “they are testing us together”! Then he laid on the table eating from my plate while staring at me! :rofl: I got my phone out trying to call 911… there was a struggle and I woke up…
:expressionless: if these dreams are from my subconscious am shook!
In the morning I called King Paimon and snoozed! We were talking while looking at pyramids! He told me I need a friend! I said “but I have you” he said “true”! :no_mouth: but apparently I could use a real life friend…
:thinking: I guess it’s time to draw!


#49

My last post for 2018! This year was a turning point for me! An eye opener really! The way 2017 ended wasn’t good! 2018 started somewhat meh! I shed my skin all through 2018 with the ups and downs! I am thankful for 2018! I got to meet entities! I got to know new interesting people! I got to do crazy stuff that 2017 me cannot explain… it’s been a fun year of transformation and self discovery!
Thanks Lucifer for pointing me to my path and guiding me to where I need to be! Thanks for showing up when I call and showing me all these forms! I can’t have enough!
Thanks King Paimon for being in my life from the start! Even when I just didn’t know it!
Thanks Belial for being Belial! I mean there is no words to describe this better!
Thanks Lilith for getting my letters!
Thanks Azazel for being in my life even when I just run away…
Thanks Asmoday, Orobas, Andromalius, Bune, Bael, and everyone else I called on for everything!
Thanks Michael, Raphael, Gabriel and Uriel for watching over me and helping me!
Thanks to every entity that walked by my side!
When I look at what I have done this year I wonder how an immature like me survived! All thanks to my guardians! I must have given you a hard time!
Many thanks and hope for more fun to come with you by my side! :kissing_heart::gift_heart:


#50

New year with lots of surprises for me! :heart_eyes: Finally King Paimon let me see him! :hugs: Briefly but oh my! this line was singing in my head when I was in the glitched state between sleep! :no_mouth:
“God damn right, you should be scared of me
Who is in control?” I heard musical too…
I made a drawing but couldn’t keep working on it for long! I felt my soul being sucked in… it felt alive and moving… maybe it was all in my head but I just couldn’t perfect it! The pull was too much for me and got me scared I’ll get sucked in it… weird feeling…

Last night Bael was in my dream again! A forest cat with a frog chin! He was mesmerising like he stepped out of a wonderland fantasy :kissing_heart:! Also I believe Lilith was in my room at midnight when I woke up! :thinking: I felt lots of presence in my room!! So much DARK energy! The centre of the room was like a black hole! I felt scared but then thought nothing to fear! Just my body alerting me! I didn’t do any ritual or mediate… just wanted to hide under my blanket hugging my pillow… Went back to bed and woke up my body feeling heavy and drained…

Since I got sometime alone I started this ritual and couldn’t stop sneezing hysterically… I was imagining lights coming out or Raphael, Michael, Gabriel and Uriel sigils to the candle and a beam of light from the candle to my forehead!! While vibrating the names! The sneezing blocked my nose so I stopped the ritual and went to lay down!

And holy fk this worked! :star_struck: I snoozed and jumped in the astral instantly! I had Belial enn playing on my phone and he showed up! I was trying to communicate but I didn’t understand a thing! When I open my eyes I see the astral but my physical eyes are closed! I get some visuals of what is happening and my astral eye shuts on me… I was glitching big time! Belial did something but then I said I wanna “hear”! All thoughts isn’t enough! it went for long me trying to see and hear him! It was like I was stuck in the dark awake and aware! The only guide was the visual he sends and the physical sensations so I said thanks I need to go back to my body and close the chant it started to annoy me! I was hearing the physical plane and not the astral! I couldn’t go back and just got stuck! In the dark in my body but can’t wake up and over thinking the heck of it! when I started to panic I screamed “Michael”! This is the first time I see and feel wings! I saw so much stuff and tinny feathers on my eyes! I can’t explain! The energy was massive! an idea came to my head “not to call anyone else” I can’t handle more energy! I was thinking I wanted to call Raphael too just to see him! Lol it’s awesome how they show up! I was like WOOOW WEEEE! Then remembered why I called him because I got scared that I couldn’t “wake up”! He grabbed my head and pushed it back! I felt a massive pressure squeezing my head until I woke up! I feel hand prints all over my head! My forehead on fire!
Will do the same ritual again for more psychic powers! :rofl: and I need to practice this astral thing! Also am starving…
Planning to draw Bael again :heart_eyes: I just love cats…
:expressionless: I don’t know why I am struggling with the communication part… it feels like am too distracted or can’t trust the telepathic information…
Thanks Michael for the rescue :kissing_heart:


#51

I need some discipline and self control… struggling with the thought “am going no where”… :unamused: gotta kick that depression in the nuts!
I got this stuck in my head… “call us and we will come”. he said to call their names in 3 parts so I think it’s the angels! So I looked into the 72 angels! :woman_shrugging: aspects work! Planning to meditate on them and see where it gets me!
Also started to work with Bathin! I see a shift in my view point! lots of astral information popped up so I thought he wants to help me with that? Planning to contact Gaap in the back of my head!
I need a memory boost!
Also this song keeps popping up…
Listen to Nightcore - Dark Horse - E.T. by Yani Rojas #np on #SoundCloud


#52

Very interesting to read your journal and progression! You remind me of myself when I first started out several years ago. Paimon is what I consider a best friend to me, and judging by how you’re interacting I’d he’s quickly becoming a good friend to you as well. If you’re having trouble seeing him, his human form is what I like to call “the most average dude ever” His face is more feminine but still very male, hair can sometimes be longish and curly, or a short basic cut. Around me he usually wears a simple white dress robe, but he has showed me some beautiful jacket style robes he wears as well. They’re very royal and ornate- absolutely gorgeous to see.

I loved the post where you explained about wearing these magical pants that had a sigil on them? I took your idea and decided to paint a few sigils on an old pair of jeans I have; very excited to use them for some energy protection while wearing them.

If you have any questions about Paimon or manipulating energies feel free to PM me! (or ask Paimon to arrange us to meet in the astral while dreaming :wink: )


#53

He showed him self on new year like this drawing!


#54

So this is a list of how it felt to get yanked out of my body! And different ways entities have gone about it!
First intense time my body got vibrated from the feet! Felt like standing on a vibrator machine! I struggled to breath so it lowered and something got shoved down my throat so I could breath normally! Then back to vibrating like madness! I even felt my head slamming on the pillow! When it reached the max it felt like zzz zzz… one second and I felt the thing down my throat being pulled out! So I started to see the astral and my body paralysed floating! A black human figure was on me! Then I started to teleport! Idk I can’t explain it any better! I reached the void that day! After my adventure I teleported out of space! First was blue stars coming my way like codding system then yellow cubes then bam all darkness! I thought I was dead… then the voice told me to think of my body and I fall back floating over my bed!
Other times I have noticed my root and crown chakras being vibrated and feeling like I am in a tornado untill I slip out! Or feeling like I am falling to the void where everything is dark but the ground is blue light!!
The most peacefull way was pulling my hand and am out! :hugs:
Scariest way is drowning in water :fearful:
I need more practice in this so I can start moving!

:thinking: so this weekend was astral practice!! I keep losing my awareness midway vibrations… woke up at 5am intended to get up and see Lucifer! All I was trying to do is leave my body while thinking his enn! A moment later I felt a hand holding mine! I was so happy! Got out just looking “Lucifer Lucifer where where!” he was a boy form!
I looked at his eyes and said “I love you” :kissing_heart: cheek kisses and a hug! His hair was blond and changed to brown and black!
:sweat_smile: it would have been awkward for me to say that to him if he wasn’t in a boy form! :hugs: I was so clingy! :cry: I didn’t get to say goodbye before I lost my awareness…
:expressionless: kept on trying all day my body was hurting…
:roll_eyes: the funny thing is I find myself out at night when it’s work day and I need my sleep!!! I got pulled out and said to whomever pulled me “:sleepy: not now! I need the sleep”…
:tired_face: this stuff is unpredictable you can’t schedule it… I end up eating my frustration and ruin my weight loss plans…