In the time since I last posted in this journal a lot has happened.
I made a few attempts at astral projection using the deferred method. In this manner I awoke and had a WILD. It was super weak and obviously not my intention.
Over the next few days I remembered my dreams super well. On one night I had 2 lucid dreams and was able to remember 5 separate dreams. A few nights ago I had the deepest lucid dream I have ever had.
I was in some sort of building and a dark being came to attack me. I was struggling against it and wondered why I felt like I was stuck. In this moment I realized I was dreaming. I used techniques from the phase to deepen the experience immediately and I felt solid like I was more physical. I then proceeded to dispose of my assailant. After this I deepened the dream even further by touching things and tried to go as deep as possible. Then I ran around thinking smugly “wow this experience is so stable I’m the best”. However, I did not have a real plan of action so my lucidity faded.
I’m undertaking a mantra challenge as detailed elsewhere on this forum. When working with exercises from eastern traditions like yoga and qigong I find it so hard to get clear information on what to do. In attempting to understand how to use mantras I’ve heard a lot of things about the necessity of a teacher. I understand this is necessary in part but obviously it is not an option for me to look for a needle in a haystack that is a good guru. Thankfully, I think I’ll be able to work some of this path on my own.
I’m so thankful for this forum and Robert Bruce’s work which demystify all this stuff. Otherwise I would still be stuck trying to figure stuff out from new age YouTube videos which have little practical information.
Lastly, I feel like an idiot for not reading this one book that I’ve had on my shelf for the last 2 years. It’s made my life 1000% better in just 2 days.
All my life, since the figurative death of my old self when I entered high school and started my quest to do things more efficiently, I’ve been searching. I’ve accumulated more knowledge on self help, weird tricks for improved performance, and other psychological tactics than I could ever use. Yet, I feel like none of this ever translated to any real gains for my biggest problem- the fact that I’m lazy as fuck.
I’ve always known that discipline is the skill that is necessary to succeed in everything else, because with discipline you put in the effort to do stuff. Moreover, I’ve always thought that it was something I couldn’t learn from a book, it was something I had to build. And, to an extent, it is.
My progress on my path has always been chronicled by an obsession with the future yet an inability to focus on the present. An inability to do the work now.
Then, I started to make some improvements. 2 years ago I picked up this book at a used bookstore but never got down to reading it. A few weeks ago I did the invocation of discipline with Gabriel and had a solid improvement in my discipline yet I still struggled.
Shortly after that I had an impulse to pick the book up and read it but I felt lazy and decided not too. Then 2 days ago I read it, not knowing what would be in it.
The book’s called the five second rule by the way. The premise is that when you have an impulse to do something you have to act on it within 5 seconds to stop your brain from going self destruct. You count down from 5 to 1 and then physically move towards your goal. This takes you out of autopilot and puts you back in control.
For the first time in my life I’m in control. For so long I felt like my mind controlled me. I was being beat by the monkey inside. Literally the day after I read this book I tried it out thinking, cool trick but will it work?
Next thing I know I’m on fire, I’m running out of stuff on my to do list.
I never wanted to do anything that would help my personal development. Before, I would just suck. Now, I just deploy the 5 second rule and make my mind my bitch.
Today, I was like: “I don’t want to do energy work”. I deployed the rule. It was hilarious. My monkey mind threw a tantrum. It’s started a cycle where I just see what I can force my mind to do. Now my todo list is an endangered species.
This time I was in control, not my mind.
I don’t even feel bad that I never read this book earlier. I have this technique now, and that’s enough.
but I’m the captain now.