Lusting for results and i wanna know how you guys personally got through it

Journals, Group Rituals & Free Readings
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sigh yeah guys i’m lusting for results. i don’t wanna say that it’s necessarily stopping the demons from doing their tasks (cause yk, the entire point is that they push the person to me because i can’t myself) but it is definitely freaking me out and making me toss everything into a blender. honestly part of it is because im excited (yayyy new book!) and the other is my mental conditions. i’m constantly fighting with the fact that my target was a jerk but that i want him to apologize still.

admittedly i’ve been trying to stop stalking his spotify, but it’s a bit hard. i’m scared he will see that i blocked him there and it will completely halt the working or make it harder for the demons to be able to help. i’m annoyed cause i was able to detach until spotifys update made it so that anyone who’s sent you messages before (friend or not) shows up on a tab you access to go to literally anything. yes it’s a matter of self control but danggg :(( im gonna try and stop. i will block him actually, maybe that’ll bring him to me faster, but im really trying to trust.

it just sucks cause everytime im like “yeah he loves me”, i might see something, or him listening to a song that has the lyrics of “ohh it won’t bother me/i dont want u” and then i panic and die when its like. WHY AM I EVEN CHECKING THE LYRICS??? i swear i wanna strangle myself sometimes bc IM BEING STUPIDFDDD. everytime i realize this i try to tell myself that he just likes a stupid song and i need to let it go, and then i see that he’s listening to a song we used to dedicate to eachother. and my brain keeps going “but he listens to songs to dictate his mood” and i realize shoot, im trying to look for signs it’s working through what he’s listening to. I NEED ADVICE FOR THIS ONE SO BAD LIKE SHOOT!! i’m gonna block him but for the past thoughts like…ughh i hate it cause i know it’s wrong and yet im still analyzing his behavior on if the spell is working.

i’ve been trying to employ two methods: believing like it’ll come no matter what, so i should just sit back. and the other is trying to distract myself as soon as thoughts come, or like looking up success stories and reminding myself that magick always works.

the problem with the first is i sometimes stress like, “oh crud but…should i look for a sign??” when in truth me asking the demons for a sign like a trillion times a day is probably hindering them from working….alonh with doing rituals….like when can they work when im badgering them LOL?? ugh idk i followed the “throw stuff at the wall and see if it sticks” when i should just trust the first stuck.

as far as self work, i know i’ve been trying on that concretely. i’m in therapy and medication <3 either way, im gonna stop doing five trillion spells and rituals a day. i think at this point i’ve done it all because i got scared that “the situation needs so many layers!!!” when in truth, the demons already know there’s nuance to the situation and are gonna cover those aspects cause i told them about it already. i think at some point it’s cause i really need reassurance that “yes it’s gonna work now shut up” ykwim??

i’ve read literally i think majority of the posts on this forum about it. ive read sooo many articles. i want to ask for people’s personal experiences with it and how they stopped it, and like idk what the circumstance even was that got them like this.

one thing is for certain tho: i’m gonna stop doing petitions and rituals about it LOL i have a deadline of next week and if it’s gonna come anyways, i can’t keep throwing stuff at it. also im tired and i haven’t slept in deadass 30 hours.

(also yes i know i reek of anxiety and desperation, im sorry. i don’t mean to. i just get anxious when i feel unsure about stuff and that’s how i’ve been since i was really young. that’s why im asking for advice. also this is a journal and if i want to rant abt smth pls let me HAHAHA)

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If you try the search, this does come up for people and there’s a few ideas already:

This guy used self hypnosis:

This guy called entities to help:

Another thing to do, it put more into the ritual - so much, that you exhaust all your emotional energy into it, and have nothing left to give, and are almost bored of it and don’t care anymore.

In psychology, to stop obsessive thoughts you have to first notice you’re even doing it, but when you do, you deliberately turn your mind to something else. Decide on the state of mind you want to have, and declare that you feel it - I am confident, I am serene etc - and smile to yourself, then do something grounding.

You just wrote a really long post that took time, during which you are stressing yourself out the entire time - THAT, stop doing that. Interrupt and distract yourself.

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wow i didn’t even realize i was just stressing myself out, you have a really good point there and i didn’t realize that was part of it!!

i have a question though. do you think it’ll still happen no matter what? like when you do your own spells or call upon the entities, is that a mindset you have?

yeah i know im asking a bunch of stuff again but, i guess i wanted to know if my thought process of “it’ll happen no matter what i do or no matter what the situation looks like” is bad/unhelpful.

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It’s no use to have the conscious mind answer such questions, it needs divination, which may or may not be accurate.

When you worry that it didn’t work enough, then you can sabotage the energy flow and then you can even feel that and your worry becomes awareness.

I pulled you a card, asking “Will Cas get her apology?” - and got Parasite:

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This is implying that all this worry, is not all of your own making. The negative emotion emanating from you, acted like blood in the water to sharks, and now a parasite is encouraging this in you, to milk you for it’s sustenance.

If this is true, if you banish and cleanse you should get a reduction in your lust for results issue.

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aw shoot. i did notice i’ve been thinking of it more excessively…and i’ve been weirdly so tired. i’ll banish and cleanse later when i get home from my exam. thank you so so much for pulling a card for me.

would you say the intended spirits still got my petitions? i’m hoping they did cause i did a banishing thing (specifically the one from DoM which i’ve done everytime since i got the book) but i realize that even outside of the ritual spaces parasites can latch on :frowning:

thanks for the help, you’re an awesome mod mulberry!

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Yes, but it may not come in the forum you expect.

I pulled another card and got Communication.

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There may also be more to the communication than just a straight-up form of apology or expressed regret.

I would check your wards. Wards are like a magickal fence and reduce the need to banish. I think of banishing as like throwing the drunk out of the bar - if you don’t lock the doors, he can just walk right back in.

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i did ask for him to want a relationship with me still, so i’m guessing that’s part of it. if it’s not just an apology, i’m guessing what he wants is me back.

i did some research on parasites and suddenly so many things are making sense. i’m anxious about things but not normally like this. i feel like i have a weird worm creature on me. i saw a post that said i could use it for my own energy so ill try that!!

thankyou still for pulling cards, it means a lot! and yeah i did tell Duke Sallos to be creative when having him communicate with me, just as long as it was like outright communication.im hoping that communication isn’t just some dumb “wow i’m hoping sophie sees this” like have some strength my guy and actually talk to me and not some indirect way im not gna stand for that smh (directed to target)

you’re right- i just checked my wards and it’s disgusting af. i need to redo that ASAP when i get home. it caught so much bad negativity that it unfortunately was too weak to catch onto this, but it served its job for a while HAHAHAHA but yeah things are making so much sense. i’ve been so busy i didn’t realize my physical wards got messed up :frowning:

you’re seriously awesome mulberry!!! it’s also nice having confirmation that communication will come which means my magick does work JELP or well, the spirits.

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Glad I could help. Good luck and a following wind for the success of the working, let us know how it goes :slight_smile:

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thankyou again!! i didn’t even realize i needed to catch onto my wards cause i forgot, i definitely needed the reminder cause now i have a WORM on me :broken_heart::broken_heart::broken_heart: i know it’s not the whole reason im like lusting but i realized that dang. this is so much compared to how it was before…like before id worry for maybe 10mins and then easily distract myself with dumb cat videos.

i’m gonna remain confident in the idea that communication got pulled cause he still wants a relationship with me and it’s not just an apology which is what my intuition is telling me, but i also have a parasite which i’m immediately being able to tell is messing with my initial thought of confidence. i hope that’s the right way to think of it? i would want to ask what your intuition is but you’ve already helped a bunch. YOU DONT HAVE TO OFC!! i’m just hoping that my initial gut feeling was correct, but maybe i’ll look into it after i cleanse

thanks again for being an awesome and helpful mod!! i see u and the darkest knight all the time on others and my posts, and its lovely having you guys :))

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oh and i had a question (im so sorry for the hassle), but do you think i can cleanse my target too of parasites even if im not talking to him? i dunno, ive had a feeling since before that it was like he had really negative energy clinging to him. im gonna prioritize me though but, what if im the bad energy that’s pushing him to talk to me…

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You can. Usually permission isn’t needed unless they’re so deeply embedded you have to get inside his qi body to get at them.

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thankyou! i sent the servitor “luna” over to him to banish any and all parasites and entities that make him have negative thoughts of me/regarding me (minus the ones i called to him to get him to contact me). i made a servitor to help the lust for results and generally, i’ve been less anxious since earlier after getting rid of the parasites!! thankyou so much again for catching onto the fact there was one for me!!

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I use a spell to make myself not think about it on purpose.

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Oh wow, do you mind if I ask about this spell? I love ur wooloo pfp btw!!

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I just go through it thinking “I’ve gotten what I wanted already” after doing the ritual and forget about it. Later on, the results speak for themselves.

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ive tried that, but sometimes its hard when whats happening in the world dosent seem to be aligning with the magick. Im just trying to look at it with thw viewpoint of “i dont know it all” :’))

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At this point I have to point out that you’re still obsessing over the result, you’ve just found a new angle to do it from.

When I said to stop needing it so much, that’s exactly what has to happen. Needing means not having and you’re spending more time and energy putting that emotional signal out there than you spent doing the magic.

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Imo the way to fully eradicate this issue is to develop complete indifference.

Looking for signs or behaving in a way that you think will make you “more receptive” to the result only feeds the obsession for a result. You obviously shouldn’t be closed off purposefully but really there’s a million things that you could do to make yourself ever-so-slightly more receptive to the result, a million theories you could make about why the result hasn’t been seen yet, and I’m sure there’s a million different things that you could interpret as signs if you were looking, but none of these matter. None of these things will really make a difference.

Naturally, you want to avoid extremes and part of this is thinking about how a normal reaction would look like. Normally, you’d just go about your day and move on from mundane things like spotify songs and lyrics. A big part of this involves not looking for signs everywhere. The more you look for signs, the more you feed this lust for result.

You need to try and cultivate a mindset where you feel confident that the work is done and that there’s nothing else to do. You’ll either be successful or fail, you need to let yourself be okay with both possibilities. If needed, maybe mentally yourself through each outcome and let yourself get over and celebrate them prematurely. Exhaust all the emotions of anticipation and realise that there is nothing left to anticipate or wait for. Your work is done, and there is nothing left to do as of now. If you can do this, then you won’t care about either outcome and you’ll get less attached to the process.

Really, you need to exhaust all the emotions and desires related to anticipation and try and force yourself to just move on with your life as normal. The ritual is the only moment to focus on your desire. Don’t go out looking for signs, and if you happen across one then just move on. Looking for signs in people’s behaviour will drive you crazy. In their day-to-day life, I guarantee you that the majority of people aren’t acting with the intent of sending a specific message or conveying a certain point. Overthinking a song or song lyric is a good sign that you need to step back and let yourself regain composure and grounding.

There’s a common belief in LoA communities that you need to “ignore the 3D”. Imo, this creates delusion. You need to focus on the 3D, and that means ALL of it. Focus on your day to day normal life more, focus on mundane things, focus on the normal actions you’d take. Make sure that you don’t spend your time thinking about the result more than you do about other things.

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thanks for this, this makes sense. i guess i just struggle because i have cpstd; which makes it a bit more difficult for me than it is for other people. i’ll try my best to just. do anything else but think about the result, maybe get off the forum for a few days. i got excited about the servitors and stuff but I don’t want that to be another vehicle of my anxieties hahaha

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I focus my actions on something else that I deeply desire, and I relax because when I’m not anxious, I allow what I want to come to me and I let it flow, because I can’t control when or how it will arrive. I just know it will arrive. I let the spirit work peacefully and I trust in it.

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