Imagine hiring someone to do a job for you, and every 10 minutes you call them to check if they’ve finished and when they’re going to deliver it. Obviously, they’ll tell you to fuck off.
Banishing is definitely useful. The sword banishing ritual from the Gallery of Magick’s book Magickal Protection is phenomenal for this!
If you are just wanting an apology or for them to feel guilt for what they have done. Then I don’t think that is that difficult. I believe the Demon Furcas from the Goetia can stimulate guilt in a target. Otherwise Wound with Fury and Bring Judgement from the GOM’s book Angels of Wrath could work, either of those rituals. Both apply but one intensifies any regrets they have whereas the other attacks them with Angelic fury so they feel regret.
I believe in other posts of yours you have written about using Sallos to bring them back if I recall correctly? Using Magick to make someone love you or to bring them back to you after a relationship ended is extremely difficult unfortunately. The reason for this is to do with free-will. I have worked with Sallos to influence someone to love me and it has been a multi-year ritual, I have also worked with Sallos to help transform a friend of mine into someone who can effortlessly inspire love in those he desires.
My understanding of Sallos based on this is that Sallos can create lessons that the target goes through that transform them into loving the trait the lesson taught them. Say you are an artistic person. Sallos will give your target a lesson that leads them into admiring art and artistic people. Or if you are loyal, Sallos will give them a lesson causing them to value loyalty above all else. Over multiple lessons this adds up and creates a filter for what they are looking for in a person and you match this filter. But people aren’t blank canvases. The target will already have a sense of what they are looking for in a person and you might not be it. The best Sallos can do is create lessons and transform them so they value traits and characteristics that you have and see those traits and characteristics as loveable. But there is a bottleneck unfortunately that is difficult to explain. But basically when someone feels they have options, they can direct their will towards the options they consciously want despite the reasons Sallos gives for them to love you.
You have free-will to do rituals to encourage them to love you, and divine sovereignty through your personal connection to GOD, the All, the Universe, the Source, whatever you may personally refer to it as, and you can use this divine authority to compel Angels and Demons to do your bidding. These spirits can encourage romantic love, create intense feelings of sexual love, persuade your target why being with you is in their best interest even if it may not be, curse your target, destroying friendships, creating problems with family, health problems, financial problems, etc. They can even encourage them to bend to your will. The problem is they will not force them. At least none of the 72 Angels, the Archangels, or the 72 Goetic Demons seem like they will. Maybe Amducias.
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If you’re also interested in working on healing the CPTSD:
You can use magick along with other practices to heal CPTSD and regular PTSD too, I’ve done that for myself. I recommend looking into Trauma Release Exercises, Mindfulness and Jungian theory in general. There’s a lot of spirits that can help with this too like Lilith and Naamah, Leviathan, Dantalion, and loads more. I had the best results using Shiva mantras though.
It’d also be worthwhille looking into Somatic Experiencing and EMDR. Don’t do everything all at once, but do some research and experiment and see what works for you. I personally had extremely bad cptsd along with dissociation from certain events in my childhood including almost dying on a few occasions, that lead to all kinds of issues. I’ve been following these types of practices for a few years now and it’s all gone, I know it’s gone because certain things that would’ve been a trigger or made me flinch before have 0 impact now.
Also, something else beneficial is keeping a daily journal as well as a dream journal. If the first thing you do when you wake up is write down your dreams in the dream journal, you’ll notice you can remember them much easier over time and you end up feeling a greater connection to your unconscious. Over a longer period of time, you’ll also be able to identify recurring symbols and imagery from your dreams which will help you gain more insight into your unconscious, and you’ll be able to more effectively decipher dreams and receive messages from them.
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wow, i’m really happy i got someone who has cptsd also to give insight. honestly? it’s tough. i’m really thinking for working with magick for this because being plagued by cptsd, depression, and anxiety is super not cool and it’s hindered me in mundane things too.
i think i’ll keep a dream journal! last night, i had a dream of me being obsessive and stuff which resulted in a deadline i had no coming to pass. i kind of got the feel that means it did fail because even in my dreams i was obsessing, which got me to snap out of it. honestly…i think sometimes i let my trauma control me, and it’s really sucking. ill definitely look into shiva mantras!
how did you get past the feeling of “nothing ever works” or i dunno, the pattern recognition you end up getting from so many bad things happening to you? it sucks because it affects my non-magick life ://
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At the risk of sounding a little judgy…
It’s hard not to lust for results if you have to wait for someone (or something) else to get something done on a tight timeframe. Especially if the goal feeds into an obsessive nature.
I could ramble about this for super long since it’s been years of work now so I’ll give you a super summarised version based on my experiences (with cptsd, healing it, magick in general, the changes that actually helped, etc).
The “nothing ever works” feeling seems to come from a mix of being worn down, learned helplessness and also dissociating. It’s like a weird protective measure where you just assume you’ll fail so you unconsciously stop yourself from even trying or if you do try it might be the case that perfectionism messes you up and ruins completion. I also noticed that for me it was paired with a strong feeling of “nothing matters” which was again dissociation. Essentially the brain trying to convince you that nothing is important and nothing really matters because if that’s the case then your past experiences/traumas aren’t a big deal since they would also not matter. It’s a way that your brain tries to protect you from reliving and remembering these traumas that haven’t been processed but it causes problems of its own. I personally feel that the pattern recognition, poor motivation and a lot of the other issues come from this part in particular.
So for that, there was a few things that helped. The most effective was the trauma release exercises I mentioned. I tried many things besides them and nothing really came close. The reason they worked really well is because with cptsd your body is still holding onto a lot of the trauma and hasn’t had the chance to release or process it. Signs of this is that you’ll typically feel hypervigilant or like you’re in a fight-or-flight kind of state and that you might have gaps in your memory or “weird” memory (as in you’ll randomly remember some random stuff from childhood for no reason and not remember other things).
The trauma stored unconsciously also ends up being stored physically as tension, tightness and physical stress and can turn into actual physical and psychosomatic issues over time. The exercises act as a way to release it physically. The day after I first tried them, I couldn’t believe how sore my legs and hips were. They felt like I’d just spent an entire day walking with no rest. What actually happened was that along with releasing all that stored tension, I regained more awareness of my body. That’s pretty much because as you begin to physically store stress, you kind of distance yourself from it and you stop listening to your body as much (so you may not even realise how much tension or stress that you’re holding onto) and it just blends into the background, but you’d probably still know that to some extent you’re holding onto tension as the typical signs like a tight jaw or tight muscles might be there. For that, the trauma release exercises are really good. I’d also use ice packs on areas that were super tight and get massages, those helped a lot. The first time I went to get a massage the practitioner literally mentioned it looks like I just bottle things up since I was tight all over. Those things along with any other somatic work would address the physical aspect of things. This will help your nervous system relax and get out of the fight or flight state so that you feel less overwhelmed and more able to move forward. It also helps get rid of the pattern recognition a lot because while your nervous system is primed in the normal cptsd state, you’re constantly on the lookout for red flags, threats, reassurances or whatever it may be. When it’s relaxed, you have no physical need to do that and you’ll likely do it a lot less (but you still will have to unlearn the mental patterns that came to existence as a result of it).
On the mental side of things, taking a fully practical approach is what helped me. I completely disregarded any ideas of being unique or special or anything like that and took an approach where I only focused on tangible reesults that were noticeable in the real-world in some way. I also put my motivations into question and made sure that I was doing things I actually wanted and not just doing magick in a reactionary way. With that approach, I also changed how I actually view the magick itself. The only time I consider the ritual is when performing it, I’ll write it down in a journal, and afterwards, force myself to keep on going as normal without thinking of it at all. If it’s succesful, which it is a vast majority of the time, then great.
If it’s unsuccessful then I’ll see it as either:
- I did something incorrectly
- Shit happens. Whatever the reason was, it didn’t work out.
In both cases I’ll move on and not dwell on the result. If it was very positive, maybe I’ll give an offering as a thanks but otherwise I just focus on the real-world and practical aspects of things. Unrelated to magick itself I also worked on other things like setting stronger boundaries and forcing myself to be much more direct (both of which I do by default now). That helped my life as a whole and it helped my magick and relationship with spirits too, as well as somewhat changing my approach to things.
A big thing was also perfectionism, always trying to do everything perfectly or correctly or whatever else. That was really just an excuse to avoid completing things due to that pattern recognition and a fear of failure, so I switched my approach up there. I started taking a quantity over quality approach. Instead of trying to do things perfect, I’d just do things and do them regularly. That helped with forming a better structure and a healthier relationship with everything, including magick, and got rid of the lust for results too. Since there was no longer a need to make things “perfect”, it was easier to just do them and then brush them off and detach. If something’s worth doing perfectly then it’s worth attempting regularly instead. For example, if you were depressed and couldn’t bring yourself to brush your teeth daily but could only do it one day a week - it wouldn’t matter how good or thorough of a job you did. Compare that to if you were only able to bring yourself to do it for 20-30 seconds a day. It’s still nowhere near ideal but even though it’s far less “perfect”, it’s still clearly the superior choice. That’s how you should approach your magick. Don’t do multiple rituals just for one goal though, I mean more of a thing where you let yourself do your magick daily focusing on yourself and other goals and that way build your proficiency and trust in yourself.
That’s a largely summarized version but the biggest thing all of that did was change my priorities in magick too. I then started to focus on much more practical things that I actually wanted long-term, things that I knew would benefit me, and allowed myself to seek the things I actually wanted. Once I did that, a lot of the old “desires” became irrelevant. I’m not saying that’s the case here but don’t be surprised if you take some of these steps and your priorities change, both in magick and in mundane life. You may realise that the more you heal, the less appealing your current desires become.
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this really helped actually. funnily enough, i noticed that my jaw was clenched and my shoulders were stiff when i read that bit about your body storing trauma. i think my biggest issue now is that, my body is in constant fight or flight. i have two modes, one is depressed as hell and numb, and the other is constantly looking for any signs that i’m either in danger or safe. ill definitely try the trauma release rituals :)) as for the magick part…yeah i have a perfectionism problem too, and yeah i just threw everything in the kitchen sink because i was scared if even one “opening” was there, then id be hurt again. i think im always so scared that ill be hurt again, its just, really sucky and i hate it and i wanna feel happier. i think so much of my life is unfortunately fueled by my trauma and that sucks so bad. its hard for me to accept anything positive, cause i start fearing that its gonna be negative. but everyday i try to write in a journal stuff im grateful for, including results, to try and cultivate a mindset of “hey, good things happen”
to talk about the pattern recognition bit, i guess cause we go through so much repeated trauma we just keep expecting trauma or good things to fail. i just really hate when people tell me “just stop thinking that” like it’s so easy
how are you able to force yourself from thinking about it? i’ve barely been able to shift my mind from negative thoughts to positive thoughts, but i’m trying to get myself to forget about it mostly. rn my method is playing videogames with friends to distract myself, which seems to be working so far atleast. for the positive thing, someone had a post about a “highlight reel” so i’m trying to think of that as my “repeated act of magick” daily to affirm that hey, stuff’s working.
sorry for the many questions. i haven’t encountered someone with the same struggles as me and this is seriously meaning a lot to me.
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As for the thoughts thing, it’s a bit of a paradox because the more you try and force a thought to stop happening, the more you recognise it as valid and that resistance actually gives it more room in your mind so trying to suppress it usually doesn’t work well. At the same time feeding into it also isn’t a good idea. The best way to do it is to try and train yourself to become less affected by them and forcing yourself to be able to stop reacting to them. I’d usually sit with my thoughts and let them all pass and recognise that all of them exist and none of them are special.
The main thing is that you need to train yourself to understand that thoughts come and go all the time, some of them might be uncomfortable, some might be obsessive, some might be unhealthy and some might be things that make you feel bad in some way. All of this, but none of them have any power over you. Let them exist and let them pass, but don’t let them make you steer your own conscious train of thought towards something else.
So when I first tried working on this and had uncomfortable thoughts I tried to force myself to hold the opposite thought. This actually just fed into it more because it created a tug of war, the thought I forced myself to have was feeding into the validity of the thought I didn’t want and giving it actual energy to remain as an inner conflict. Instead I had to learn to realise that they may not always be pleasant, and some might even be negative, but every thought still passes. It comes and goes naturally, whether it’s negative or positive. Until I decide to pay attention to it, it has no power or validity. And by avoiding concerning myself with any one thought, it then loses all its power and has no effect over me. The thought is just a catalyst and your reaction is what gives it the validity and power it needs to create issues, so it’s paradoxical but the way to do it is to try and let go of it. Accept that anything could happen and that life is so unpredictable that your thoughts aren’t actually scratching the surface. There’s infinitely more possibilities of what could happen than what you’re thinking of, so there’s no point paying attention to them because it’ll likely be the case that none of them come true. It’s definitely not easy to “just stop thinking things” because really you won’t just stop, you’ll instead change how you react to things. Then with enough time you’ll notice that you don’t experience much negative and unwanted thoughts anymore.
The body trauma thing is one of the biggest issues to focus on too, the trauma release exercises will help a lot with that. All of that tension stored physically only makes things much harder, so once you release that you’ll be able to get out of the fight or flight stage.
Personally I feel like gratitude works but it can feel fake when things aren’t going perfect. I prefer to do what I call a power journal where I’ll write down things that I’ve done myself that were powerful, had powerful effects or made me feel powerful, things that I’ve achieved, etc. It can be magickal and non-magickal things. Writing it down is also like a magickal act where you’re unconsciously making yourself see yourself as more competent and powerful, and manifesting that. That way it feels like less of a forced emotion and more of reminding yourself who you are so that even when it might seem like there’s nothing to be grateful for, you still remember that you can get through it and come out on top. I feel like that is the superior approach and mindset to cultivate because things can’t always be positive, but you can always be powerful or at least present in your own power.
A good example I can give you as of recently is that I had a lot of huge achievements this month in business, and then due to no fault of my own something threw a wrench in my plans and changed my direction slightly. It felt shitty and annoying but that was about it, I didn’t let it get to me any more than that. I took a day off to chill, got back to things the next day, and now it’s looking like even with having to change some things that there won’t be any real issue. If it was me a couple of years ago, I would’ve just distanced myself and avoided doing anything for a while, but now I don’t really care what could go wrong or right, I just think it’s better I do something rather than nothing.
I recommend giving this a read, maybe even bookmark it and re-read it whenever you feel like you need it again - Chapter LXXX: Life a Gamble - Magick Without Tears - The Libri of Aleister Crowley - Hermetic Library
Think about it like the ritual happened in a dream and you don’t remember very well how it went but that it went well