Ikhfa meditation with Ya Muhyi, for processing some pent up grief. Ew.
While meditating on that name I had the impression that a golden triangle stuck out from the left side of my heart. I took it out of my chest and nicked my finger on its pointy tip. For some reason I felt the urge to draw more blood; I took the triangle and cutted the palm of my left hand open, releasing light red blood. The triangle turns into a golden bracelet after coming into contact with the blood. I decide to wear it around my left wrist.
I can’t quite remember, but I think that its been mentioned how the left hand relates to the tabiah, the nature of something, when applying sufi traditions to palm reading.
Khafi/Khafiya meditation with Ya Matin. Resilience, being firm in heart and mind.
My torso is a black violet shimmering nothing. A stream of clear water is pouring from somewhere above into this nothingness, finding its way into a blue gleaming opening down below. I understand that this water is my steadfastness and that nothing is allowed to interrupt it or to run it dry. My head starts to hurt. I feel incredibly nauseous from a sudden waft of of dense energy radiating from this stream.
Second Sirr meditation with Ya Hakam. Discerning wisdom.
The visuals of the meditation are pulling me into the very same spot I am currently at. The only difference is that I am wearing something that reminds me of some sort of VR headset, minus the headpiece. I can still see my surroundings but the glasses are tinting everything in a muted dark colour, there is also a white grid adding depth to everything. My surroundings slowly fade out, I am left with a black screen and a white grid behind my eyes. Every once in a while I receive bright red…“disturbances”, as if someone is frantically scrawling hectic lines and spirals and knots onto the black surface. These patterns are moving and pulsing, I can hear them with my eyes. I understand that the black surface and the white grid are the objective reality of things while the red patterns are what seeks to hide from it or what deflects from it.
My eyes burn after the meditation. I have kept them open the entire time.
Another one of that. Water seems to be a key element with this names energy, as the visuals made me look down at my feet that poured out dark and cloudy water from their soles into a floor that was made out of black rock. I understood this as some sort of grounding session, so I focused on releasing this dark water further into the ground, pushing all of those not so resilient feelings and reactions into it.
Sirr meditation with the name Ya Batin. I’ve read somewhere that repeating this name three times a day will make one able to see the truth of all things. I guess I was overdosing on that three times a day mark, today
My first impression: a tingling electric pulse around the temples of my head.
The visuals: walking inside of a dark tunnel, no source of light. Underneath my feet I could hear and feel the flow of a forceful river, rumbling beneath the concrete of the tunnel. I decided to follow the source of this river, walking into the opposite direction of its flow. I blacked in and out of this impression. At some point I was facing the end of the tunnel, marked by a shining blue waterfall that gave life to the river under this whole construct. I could hear somebody whispering “All rivers are flowing upwards here” and when I looked up I could indeed witness the river flowing back up into the waterfall.
My heart tingled in a very soft and mellow pulse, similar to the one around my head.
I will try the “three times a day” approach, I think.
Basically this. I am finding that reciting “Hu” for the Latifa spring cleaning does a good job This time I had the impression of a blue flame burning away some sort of black coating from a surface.
Last night I was confronted with something that looked super concerning to me. I told my friend about it, just in case. I hope that this was a fluke and not the result of “seeing the truth of all things”.
Sirr meditation with the name Ya 'Alim. Sneaking away a piece of omniescience.
Meditation visuals: the lemniscate that I am breathing is parted into a white and into a blueish-green light.
I am surrounded by falling leaves. I identify them as linden tree leaves. Each leaf a part of knowledge. I know that something is written on the back of each leaf with blue ink, without turning them around. I collect some of them as they fall.
Giving myself something to chew on if this symbolism should come up again:
Another shot at Khafiya meditation with this name.
A green light turns into a large green snake. I am holding it in my arms. Its skin is made out of emerald, emitting a warm and heavy pulse. Its alive and its moving, slowly. A white ring-like energy is moving clockwise inside of my head. Ideas that are yet to come. I can’t find my words.
I haven’t kept track about that, to be honest. I am not using beads or my fingers while uttering the names. I know that at some point I will stop with saying them out loud, usually when I am phasing out into the visuals
If you have the sufi friend ask to do a kind of like talisman squarre magic for the name you want do the zikr ! the name is of this practice (Al-Awfaq)
Maybe ? googling الاوفاق للغزالى Al -Aufaq Imam Al-Ghazali ! but in the book does not explain and simply offers as recipes!
the best way to learn is to contact a professional (that I don’t know nobody ! sorry)
Another cleansing meditation with repeating Hu. Because…
Because I will see what happens when I poke that ego with a stick.
My next meditation session will revolve around the Qalb and I will use Ya Khafid to see what overall happens when lowering myself from what I’ve reached, so far. Serving myself some piece of humble pie seems like a good idea
Visuals:
a white ocean. I put a black cube or box into the water and let the waves pull it inside this white vastness. So far I don’t feel much but I know (and felt) that I have built up some remarkable resistance in certain aspects of my pride. I suppose that this cube is my literal inner black box and I am in for one hell of a flashback edit this night. Ah man.
Meditation on Ruhi with Ya Shahid, to boost up all clairs (because of the “Witness” quality of this name, in terms of seeing and knowing everything).
Meditation visuals and sensations:
green ribbons. Green ribbons everywhere. They are falling down around me in slow motion. I pick one of them mid air; the texture feels silky and a bit watery. The fabric wraps itself around my eyes; behind that visualization another visualization opens up. It looks as if I am sitting in the middle of the universe. A dark canvas, sprinkled with blinding stars. They seem to gather themselves towards me, coming closer and closer. At some point they leave the black nothingness and fall down onto my skin. A third visual makes me look at myself from a third person POV; my body is a dark and vague body-like silhoutte, covered in brightly shining small lights. The lights are bursting out of the eyes and the mouth of this silhouette, unforced, naturally. Witnessing oneself.
I hear a faint “it is done” repeating itself three or four times in the distance.
Third Sirr meditation with Ya Hakam, for discernment.
Meditation visuals:
A dark green canvas with irritating and random red and yellow splotches all over. The splotches want to be noticed, they fight for my attention. The only truth is the green that is covered by the red and yellow noise. I try to focus only on the green colour in the background. The green colour starts to boil and bubble, it turns black and swallows the falsehood of red and yellow. The black colour is still bubbling up on the canvas and overflows, breaching the confinements of the material, dripping down the wall in thick streaks. The texture is warm and oily.
For myself - perhaps I would never advise any of my unfinished and poorly larger scale tested attempts to a third party, though. Its mostly UPG and it might age not well.
This time I had the impression of a blue flame burning away some sort of black coating from a surface.
) but is this practice borrowing from al-Umawis mathematic works, by any chance?