Have you evoked your guardians or do they not come?
Story of my life.
Maybe we should pay this guys a visit? I mean, sounds just right.
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I guess it would depend on your definition of karma. I donât think it was some kind of universal mechanism of morality like New Agers believe karma is. I think it was more likely my actions just pissed something off so it took it upon itself to dole out some punishment.
I see, Thanks for your response im just trying to understand how the universal laws are operating. Noone knows for sure ofcourse, we assume and discussâŚ
Have you even determined or cleared up in your mind what this âsomethingâ is? It must be chaotic and infinite all this experience for you and for each one of us here⌠Everyoneâs path corresponds in a different reality, in a secret magic place
At least we have each other here to discuss and have some company in this journey 
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No, when the information was revealed, I was just told it was a âhigher power,â so it could have been anything, really. Probably some cosmic goody two-shoes of some sort.
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Have you tried to summon it?
Thank you dear Darkest. And Iâm sorry for the ranting, i got emotional because of the fullmoon I guess 
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Are you serious? I just said I donât know what it was so how the hell can I summon something if I donât know what it is? There is an infinite variety of forces to choose from in the wilds of the multiverse so I would need a bit more information to go on than just a âhigher power.â
Yes you donât know who it was,but your higher self might. Also if it put the binding on you, could you not track it back to whoever did it? Like a sort of energetic link.
You can summon anything. You could specify, âThe thing that wants to dole out justice, feel the energy, and pull them to you by calling themâ
I was assuming youâd know this, how you can reach into energy and call it.
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I think he meant he got this information once, but he didnât really realize which the source was. And now this is gone anyway⌠Its like an impression he has now , it was like a flashlight as I understood. So I can see how impossible it is now to find this energy and summon it 
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But he said that he thinks there is still some of the binding left. He could use that to summon the source of the energy. Sure it is harder, but summoning the spirit may help him get rid of the binding completely.
16/10/20
Iâve been lax in keeping up with this journal because I havenât really had much to write about. My daily practices at the moment only consist of the small Enochian rituals from Damon Brandâs book Success Magick, and some chakra work. In the last week, Iâve added some mantras as well. I find chanting relaxing and have added it to my morning no-mind meditation.
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17/10/20
I find myself fearful of doing my chanting lest the roommates overhear. Iâm not sure why though. Itâs not like my room is soundproofed or anything, and Iâve never worried about it before. Something about these new roommates doesnât sit well with me though.
Iâve been chanting the âmesh ka rel luhnâ mantra for 30 minutes twice a day for the last week. It seems to be opening me up more.
I channelled a mantra from Raziel to help me connect to my inner divinity. When things are not going my way in the material world, I have a tendency to get caught up in the stress and drama, and forget the wise words of Belial: there is no separation between the physical and the spiritual. Iâm hoping chanting this mantra will help to remind me of this truth, and iâm going to start chanting it in the mornings instead of the current mesh ka mantra.
The last 20 years havenât been easy for me, and due to my bouts of homelessness, last yearâs fire being the most recent example, I have some deep rooted issues around stability and security. These issues have manifested as blocks in my energy system so I have decided to undertake some in depth working with my Muladhara in conjunction with Taoist dissolving practices to try and clear them.
I think Iâm being visited by some entity in my dreams. I canât point to anything specific, but Iâve been waking up with a vague feeling of presence that disappears as soon as I reach full wakefulness.
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If they hear you you can always tell them that its important for an actor to keep vocal cords, the midriff and your face muscles trained (ESPECIALLY since Corona limited overall playtime and youâre at risk to become lazy with your practice). Itâs all for the business 
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18/10/20
When chanting the mesh ka mantra this morning, my Muladhara started to vibrate, which wasâŚodd. The mantra is supposed to open the astral senses, and usually I feel it in my head, but for whatever reason, today I felt it strongly in my root and groin.
Iâm almost at the halfway point of Brandâs Success Magick. I have just moved on to Ritual 18. Hard to believe it has been over four months of daily rituals. Still no outward signs of anything happening, though divination tells me the pieces are being set in place for something big. However, divination has also been telling me that for over a year now, even before I started Success Magick, so I guess the proof will be in the pudding, as they say 
Iâve started my Muladhara work, mainly just vibrating the Bija mantra for an extended period of time, about 30-40 minutes so far⌠Iâve added some mudras as well, holding each for several minutes as I vibrate the mantra.
I capped my day with the AH meditation. This I felt very strongly in my head, and I had the peculiar sensation of my scalp floating.
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Crank the radio with some static, get some music playing facing the door or window (sound is very directional) and chant in a whisper?
Try dropping hints you meditate and stuff, hint itâs all love & light & woo-woo, the old âbore 'em until they donât WANT to knowâ tactic? 
Or in your case, quietly chanting⌠throw in a few loud AUMs when you hear them near your door, maybe?
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19/10/20
Tried out the new mantra from Raziel this morning. It centred me very well, and I found myself unmoved by small annoyances for most of the day, like the noise of the obnoxious roommate.
Still plugging away at the Enochian. This current ritual requires some reflection on my own ideas of success, and what my personal benchmarks for it are. Would I consider myself successful if I have a million dollars in the bank? Or would I consider myself successful if I simply enjoyed what I do? Is happiness a sign of success? If it is, then most of the people who are considered successful by societyâs standards are doing something wrong, 'cause the majority of them seem to be very unhappy people.
Since I was young, Iâve always had the thought that, to be considered successful, I would have to have a lot of money, and all the toys, like a fancy car, and a huge house, and a boat, etc. Growing up, we werenât at poverty level, there was always food on the table, and my parents didnât seem to struggle hard to make ends meet, but as a kid, I did notice that we lived in a trailer, while my friends all lived in houses, and while my sisters and I did get nice toys for Christmas, we didnât get the big ones like my friends did (even in the 80âs, a Transformers Mega City figure cost a small fortune). However, while I noticed such differences, it never occurred to me to see myself or my parents as less than my friends. I never questioned whether my father was successful or not. I knew we werenât rich, like the people on television, but we werenât exactly living in a slum either.
As I grew older, I think I started to internalise more of societyâs idea of success, than my own. I donât know exactly when the change happened, but I begun to wish for more money, more toys, more âfreedomâ to do the things that I wanted to. I wanted to wear fancy clothes, and drink the expensive wines and drop $500 on a pair of shoes that I would only wear once. To this day, I still think of how easy life would be if only I was rich. ButâŚis that really success?
The work on my Muladhara has begun. I can feel the vibration quite strongly in my lower body when vibrating the Bija mantra, and the perineum gets very warm. I am focusing better, and able to keep my awareness on the chakra without drifting into daydream for most of the allotted time. Iâve added a 5 minute chanting of Ganeshaâs mantra at the start, before going into the Bija and the mudras.
Still chanting the mesh ka mantra daily, though today I listened to the Youtube video of Sataniaâs version instead. I have found that I donât get quite the same effect in listening, as I do in chanting it myself though.
Capped the day off with the AH meditation, which really makes my head feel funny.
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I think that a lot of people get buried under their success because they think about success in a somewhat one dimensional manner/they define it in such a static way that their concept of success canât flow anymore at some point (for example with options to the left and right, to up and down, back and forth). It becomes heavy and they get unsatisfied with the one way street they have created for something that needs movement to develop (and to change, by that). They are obsessed with conserving their current success peak (and growing paranoid over it) instead of enjoying it and take their lessons and experiences and confidence from it for the next ride.
You are successful if you drink a bottle of wine for 300 bucks. You are also successful if you enjoy a bottle of wine you ACTUALLY like (my fave is still a botte for not even five euros. The best damn thing). Either way is fine, as long as you draw pleasure from it.
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These days even one million dollars isnât enough to do that unless you limit what you spend on other things. Especially in Canada. Most people when they reach their monetary goals start wanting more, so it keeps changing and they never become content.
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