Forgive me for the dumb question (I skimmed up top again and didn’t easily find the answer), are you just normally up at 2 AM? Or is there a special significance to meditating at this time?
Today was a day of rest. Didn’t do any magick or energy work, just took care of mundane things like laundry and grocery shopping.
@SagaMysterium There is no significance to that particular hour. It’s simply before I go to bed usually.
Today was another rest day, but…a weird one. I’ve been feeling a strange sense of contentment, like somehow I know everything is going to be okay. It’s a bit hard to describe, and at first I didn’t notice anything different, but, with the day coming to a close, it just occurred to me that my thoughts haven’t been dwelling on, or worrying about, the virus, politics, or anything truly negative. I know I’m going to be alright, no matter what happens.
Huh. It is so odd, and very alien to my usual way of thinking. It’s not a hide - your - head - in - the - sand - and - hope - it - all - goes - away kind of thing, just a general acknowledgement that “this too shall pass.” I wonder if this is a result of the first Enochian ritual in the Damon Brand book, which is supposed to give clarity to your perceptions.
Another day I didn’t do any magick or energy work. I’m not sure why, but I just didn’t feel like it. I’ve kind of lost motivation to continue my 100 day intensive. It’s almost like I have no need for it, so there is no desire to do it.
I’m not sure if this is just my natural laziness rearing it’s head though, because I don’t feel depressed or anything, and i’m not procrastinating. I literally have nothing that has to be done, so there is nothing to even procrastinate on. I’m left wondering if this laissez- faire attitude is related to the Enochian work…
Slept most of the day away, and as a result felt very tired.
4 PM - performed my chakra exercise, and the blue flame meditation. I felt a tangible release of stagnant energy when I drew down the cosmic energy to flush my chakras. It was difficult to refrain from blinking while doing the blue flame meditation. My eyes were really dry.
I forgot to update this, so here are the musings from yesterday.
I’m trying to overcome my personal spiritual chains (which, as far as I have been able to determine, seem to stem from a combination of a past life’s karma and what my soul needs to fulfil its evolution). My path is apparently a long and winding one, and I feel like I’m being forced back to the beginning of my journey by universal forces greater than I.
I performed no exercises or magick this day. My thoughts have been on loop with reference to the above.
@DarkestKnight I am pretty sure you arent a fan of new age desciription of karma, whats your take on it?
The karma I’m talking about is a binding visited upon my material prosperity by some uppity “Higher Power” who took it upon itself to punish me because my previous incarnation was someone who caused untold suffering in his pursuit of wealth. As the spiritual and material are really one and the same, by binding my spiritual prosperity, the force also bound any material success.
I don’t believe in any universal check and balance kind of karma, as in you do bad and so bad is done to you. This is a personal thing that this higher power decided to do on its own for whatever reason. I don’t know enough about the why of it, only that it happened, and with the help of @Lady_Eva, Paimonia, Belial, Odin, and a nameless African shaman, a few years ago, I believe I’ve broken the binding or at least lessened it’s grip by doing some form of reparations. However, I am still struggling with material prosperity, which I think is linked to a deep sense of guilt over my previous life.
Various divinations have pointed to some really serious forces at work behind my life right now, that I’m still trying to identify, but they are moving pieces around and setting me up for something big.
Are you able to do a blind evocation of the forces behind the changes in your life?
Maybe the roomick system might help?
Another late start. Haven’t been sleeping well lately so I wind up waking late in the day.
I’m still working on increasing my energy sensitivity and decided to chant some Words of Power to get a feel for the distinct energetic signature of each.
430 PM - relaxed into a light Alpha state, and vibrated the Divine Name EL for 5 minutes. I then rested for a few moments, and then vibrated for another 5 minutes. The Name resonated deeply in my chest, and cause a light shift in my trance.
After taking a few deep breaths, I vibrated the Name again for 5 minutes, this time in a sing-song way, with a rising and falling intonation. The energy of the vibration moved from my chest to my throat and back again, and there was a definite shift in my head.
8 PM - Connected with the angel Yisrael using the visionary pathworking from the book Raziel’s Paths of Power Volume 2. I found it fairly easy to slip into the visualisations, despite the electric light being on in my room which it made it difficult to imagine being in darkness. The method felt remarkably similar to a shamanic journey. I tasked to angel to improve my imagination.
3 PM - Tried an Enochian version of the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram. Stumbled over the pronunciations, and the movements were awkward. It’s been a long while since I’ve performed a LBRP. Will require memorisation.
6 PM - Relaxed into Alpha, followed by vibration of God Names for ten minutes each.
EL - the energetic effect of this Name was subtle. Vibration was contained in the chest, and seemed to stir the Anahata chakra. The external environment felt energetically lighter, and fresher, like it had just been aired out by a summer breeze.
EL SHADDAI - the effect of this Name was stronger than the previous. Felt the vibration ripple through the whole body, though it was more pronounced in the upper chakras. Internally, I had the impression that my subtler bodies were shaking loose. The Name seemed to ripple outward in the external environment, like a heat mirage.
YOD - HEH - VAHV - HEH - the vibration of this Name had the strongest energetic effect. It moved throughout my body, making my skin tingle, and causing some light dizziness. It’s effect on the external environment seemed to be one of demand. It felt like a very pushy, almost authoritarian energy compared to the others.
1130 PM - chanted the angelic mantra for the senses found here for 25 minutes. The effect was light and subtle. Felt energy move along my hairline and on the crown of my head, in the Sahasrara, then down the back of my scalp to the Ze’al chakra.
2 AM - breath awareness meditation with Theta isochronic tone for 30 minutes.
8 AM - Some basic yoga asana followed by meditation on the breath for 30 minutes. Mind was a maelstrom of activity this morning.
930 AM - Enochian Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram. It’s well known that Aleister Crowley reversed the cardinal directions for Fire and Air in the LBRP, so I attempted to perform this ritual today with the correspondences given by Damon Brand in his book Archangels of Magick, putting Fire back in the East, and Air in the South as they were originally attributed in the oldest known Kabbalisitic writings and beginning in the North, instead of the East. i did feel a distinct shift in the energy, but will need to practice more to confirm that it wasn’t just in my head, as the ritual is still a bit clunky due to having to follow directions.
330 PM - Soul Travel practice. Relaxed into Alpha, pulled energy through the chakras, and performed the blue flame meditation, before syncing breath and using the exhale to exit the body. I believe I was successful, and projected to my bed from the chair in which I was sitting. It was more of a mental projection though, with my awareness split between the projection and my physical body. It was difficult not to be sucked back in upon inhalation. Need to practice solidifying the connection to the object I projected to, in order to prevent the return to the body.
7 PM - Relaxation into Alpha and vibration of Divine Name IAO for ten minutes. This Name carries a nice energy. There is less religious controversy regarding its orgins attached to it, and it flows very nicely. It felt similar to the energy of EL, though perhaps not as refreshing.
Followed IAO with the vibration of the first Enochian Key. This was the first time I’ve tried the Keys, and it was very unwieldy. No one agrees on the correct pronunciation so I used a phonetic guide I found through Google, but even with the struggles to pronounce the words, I felt the energy inherent in them. The Key seemed to affect my head mainly, making me lightheaded and dizzy. More practice is required though.
I felt off the entire day. Don’t know why. Performed the Enochian LBRP around 3 PM, but didn’t do anything else. Wasn’t focused and found myself easily frustrated and angry. Little petty annoyances made me seethe. Almost blew up in the grocery store.
Was unaccountably tired and fell asleep early which is why I’m just updating this journal now.
1045 AM - Breath awareness meditation for 30 minutes, followed by the Enochian LBRP. I got a definite sense of the energy moving. Using the elemental correspondences of Brand, instead of those of the traditional LBRP, seems to click things into place better. Standing in the centre, the pentagrams were stronger, and the archangels felt more present.
I’m not sure I will continue with this particular banishing for much longer though. I’ve always had a sort of meh feeling towards the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram and the Enochian version only somewhat alleviates that, probably due to its novelty.
I do have to say, though, that it feels pretty good to get back to my ceremonial roots. Strengthening my basics is something I’ve sorely neglected in my zeal for evocation.
330 PM - Stillness training for 30 minutes. I was able to remain completely still for most of the allotted time. Lying on the floor in the corpse pose helped as it wasn’t so comfortable that I could fall asleep. It’s good to know I haven’t lost the physical stillness. Now, I have to add the internal element and that’s always a bitch. Even on a good day, my brain never wants to remain quiet for too long, even with a focus.
7 PM - Trancework and chakras. I was able to slip into a nice Alpha state and practice the pendulum visualisation from the Soul Travel course (it’s also in the OAA curriculum) for ten minutes. Couldn’t keep it straight though. The visualisation kept wanting to swing around in circles. I followed it with pulling down power through my chakras and vibrating the Bija mantras. I completed the work with the blue flame meditation.
1200 AM - Breath awareness meditation for 30 minutes
No, the version I’m following simply uses Enochian words of power instead of the usual Hebrew; everything else is basically the same as the regular LBRP so I am calling on the usual four archangels in the cardinal directions.
The four kings might be worth trying though
Another late start to my day.
330 PM - Enochian LBRP. I’m slowly getting a handle on the pronunciations…I think.
545 PM - Stillness practice. Was easy enough not to move, but I tried to regulate my breathing and that caused a lot more tension in my body and mind. Due to this peculiarity of biology, I think it might be best simply to bring my awareness to my breath rather than consciously trying to force it into an unnatural rhythm.
8 PM - Introspection regarding the designing of personal rituals for my offering to the forum.
All in all, it was a slow, uneventful day. I ordered a copy of Stephen Flower’s Hermetic Magic, and John DeSalvo’s Lost Art of Enochian Magick, but they will take a month to get here due to the low priority Amazon is giving to anything non-medical related.
No, they won’t refund an order because they have a big banner on their website that says right up front that they give priority to medical supplies, so I knew it would be a long wait before I ordered.
11 AM - Depth relaxation upon awakening.
115 PM - Enochian LBRP. Seems to be flowing better now. I get a good sense of the energy and the presence of the archangels. Had a solid visualisation of the cardinal pentagrams.
530 - Stillness practice for 30 minutes. Was able to maintain the physical immovability for the full allotted time, and also managed a few minutes of inner stillness as well.
9 PM - Depth relaxation, and outer dissolving practice. I can’t believe how much tension I’m carrying in my body. Any attempt at relaxing beyond removing mere surface tension actually makes my limbs ache.
1030 PM - Further depth relaxation and outer dissolving practice. I feel that I need to free up the trapped emotions causing blockages in both my physical and energy bodies so my chi can flow unhindered.
1230 - Breath awareness meditation.
9 AM - Depth relaxation upon awakening, and followed with breath awareness meditation for 20 minutes.
1115 AM - Enochian LBRP. This felt rather flat today, and I’m not sure why. Could be that I just wasn’t into it today. My own energy seemed to flow smoothly, but the pentagrams and archangels were not very solid.
230 PM - Chakra work and Soul Travel practice. Was able to enter an nice solid trance state, and project, but still having difficulty staying out of my body. Projection is still mostly mental, as I haven’t been able to release the hold on my consciousness completely yet.
545 PM - Pathworking with Raziel. I asked for a protection glyph but am unsure if what I received really came from Raziel or if it was created by my own imagination. When working in vision, my scepticism and doubt come to the fore more than usual, since it is the imagination that is the bridge to contact. It is very similar to shamanic journeying, so I think the more I practice this particular method of magick, the more “real” it will seem.
1030 - Depth relaxation and stillness practice. Was feeling overfilled from supper so was unable to fully relax.
130 AM - Decided to do a second Enochian LBRP before sleep.