Thank you, Nasr. You even showed yourself (Vulture) in a reading by somebody else about that; not that I’ve asked about it in the first place, it just came out on the side
While still processing the last couple of days I will certainly find time to appreciate that you’re kind of looking out for me. I wouldn’t know why, but who am I to question influences that are pretty much aware about whats going on.
On the bright side: it gives me plenty of time to bury myself into my studies. No time for silliness. Only work.
Todays spontaneous unlocking: Mufarish (مفرش ). I wasn’t planning on any unlocking today. Actually, a lot happened today at once already and the timing is odd. But his call was convincingly soft. I wouldn’t know how to describe it properly without using the words “pleasant” and “mellow” and “blue”.
“Blue” was the visual process, indeed. I found myself at the Baltic sea, my naked feet comfortably stuck inside the wet and cool sand of the shoreline. A beautiful blue summers morning on a sweltering hot evening in my room.
Mufarish appeared like a mixture in between a surferboy and yoga teacher; my gaze was hooked on his necklace (large wooden beads, probably made out of Wenge?) and on a piece of silver jewelry that was wrapped around his right hand. We walked towards another and he stretched his right hand out to me. I apologized for the lack of preparation and told him that he was calling on a rather interesting time. We shook hands, a smooth warmth flowing from the palm of his right hand into mine.
“You know that its time, right?”, he asked me and I suppose that this was accurate. I accepted his gift, with the good and the bad and the ugly. I felt as if the ocean imitated my heartbeat.
The good: seeing some outrageous numbers on my paycheck as of lately. This is some kind of “In theory it could always be like that. In theory it could be even more” realization that needs to settle in for a bit.
The bad: realistically I am at the end of my overall development potentialities, at least where I am currently at.
The ugly: realistically I’d have to break away from the logical confinements (place and time and competencies) of my current predicament, although I really enjoy my work and my fellow folks. I’d have to go away yet again. Unless…
I find it highly interesting that the visuals pulled me close to the Baltic sea; I thought that this would be purely symbolical. While exchanging some thoughts about future career options with someone today I loudly thought about branching out into other parts of Europe, to secure my development while not having to part from what I enjoy.
I had a convo about something like that with two business partners from a country located at the Baltic sea, not too long ago.
I have worked extensively with Zuhal/her energy the last couple of months. Among the necessary transformational joys and sorrows (really, it wasn’t all doom and gloom. It brought me -and let me stay!- into an interpersonal companionship that I authentically enjoy) I’ve made another discovery.
Plants stopped dying on me like they’ve used to. Its some sort of insider joke by now that plant based life tends to be obliterated by my presence alone, despite meticulous and sincere care.
Zuhal always implied that this natural saturnian tendency from my side isn’t a box or a prison or an illness but that its simply a domain that flourishes best when I don’t ignore it or hide away from it.
I’ve started to accept a certain kind of lot since I’ve aligned myself with Zuhals energy and I think that it was around that time when plants stopped doing whatever happens to them when they are exposed to me. I even reaped my first chili harvest, yesterday. While standing on a fresh green patch of grass that grew back from the more or less dead soil that this garden has turned into, not too long ago I suppose that Saturns agricultural aspect started to kick in the moment I consciously decided to accept its never waning presence as a gift and not as a taint.
Zuhal also made me be accepting of the responsibility that comes with some other aspects of that alignment. I will probably stay close-ish to the death industry when it comes to generating an income or exercising professional craftsmanship. Its not like I am forcing this stuff onto a next generation with that dying bloodline of mine, so I can comfortably make myself at home inside of this for the decades to come. It could be worse.
Harthamah (هرثمة ) called me into the unlocking, today. And with that I mean that I was already in the process without contacting her.
Her name repeated inside of my head all of a sudden and with some kind of urgency. I received on and off visions about the blood covered tip of a sword, shedding its drops into white sand. A strange and sudden inner heat exploded inside of my head and behind my face.
When I sat down for a moment I was pulled into the visualization about a tall red haired woman; she was wearing no shoes, a long brown dress and a silvery sword that had its blade covered in red. I noticed black smudges and spots all over her skin; her face looked young but robbed off of any youthfulness at the same time. She was drawing patterns into the sand with the tip of her sword, leaving a trace of blood here and there. We exchanged no words but we somehow communicated through our respective presence.
She offered me the sword; I told her that I didn’t want to make use of it. The vision ends here.
When I officially got back into the meditation, she was gone and I was left at some airport. A long, heavy and safely wrapped object hung from my left shoulder on a strap. I asked her how I was supposed to get this thing through airport customs. I felt lost inside of a clutter of announcements for different flights, not sure about how to proceed. I received a text message on my smartphone: the number and letter “45 - 0F” (the zero could have been the letter O, as well). Neat. I have no idea what to do with that, for now.
I just came back from an accidental meeting with my mentor from over 16 years ago. He was the first person in my entire life who not only believed in my potential but who actively nurtured it for several years. I thought that I would never see this man again in my life, as he was moving on to another country and didn’t make use of social media. He is the literal reason that I was able to pull off this whole death industry thing so early in my age in the first place and it was one of the happiest times in my entire life. This is a full circle I haven’t anticipated at all and I feel oddly happy.
I opened and closed the “post” tab back and forth today for several times already. I am still in the process of getting my thoughts into a comprehensive kind of order in between tending to very sudden responsibilities in very saturnian departments. Zuhal, this one is for you, I guess.
Three days ago one of my in-laws passed away, very sudden and unexpected. I am currently taking care of the entire family and the burial preparations, travelling back and forth several hundreds of kilometers in between meeting their needs and and being present at my mundane work responsibilities at home. I haven’t really slept a whole lot since then, the entire situation is really emotional for everybody involved and understandably they are all looking at me and waiting for me to get everything in order; the local funeral home isn’t of great help, as the mortician in charge has been a long family friend and is all at sea about it himself. (Which ironically led him to ask me if I would be interested in taking over his business, some day. I am not.) Leraje has been of tremendous assistance in the energy department, letting me flit like a coked up Border Collie in between everybody and everything until now. I am exhausted but I know that I will go on like this until the funeral has been completed and everybody involved can be left to their own devices eventually.
I have bought myself a beautiful dark blue dress, the other day. For some reason dark blue has been a complete mood in my closet, carefully perching itself in between forestry greens and browns and the usual black. I’ve imagined myself to wear this dress on a completely different occasion; two days ago I was wearing it for the first time while preparing the wake and preventing fifteen crying, screaming and hyperventilating people from passing out. While everybodies tears, sweat, makeup and distress was collected by the fabric around my shoulders and chest area I had to think about Zuhal and her promise/threat/prophecy about this path. (I am not of a so called “death current” and I don’t perform any kind of its practices, to be clear about that.)
It doesn’t matter what I call myself professionally or where I choose to reside in that matter:
In a way I will always stay some sort of midwife to other peoples experiences in terms of loss, of death and finitude. Not the “I’ve sorted out my feelings towards this and now I want to talk about it” clean experience. Its the ugly and raw and resistive and in-between side of this experience that I am called to. The one that screams and breaks down and kicks and scratches while you’re trying to place at least a soft cushion underneath the whole thing. In that moment people instinctively cling to you and are appalled by your presence at the same time.
I start to believe that this is one of the things that keeps most people naturally apart from my way; an indistinct sort of vibe thats filled with other peoples grief, pain and rage that I can never entirely wash off of me.
Crossposting. I think that Zuhal gave me the keys to my personal house of the dead and I am ready to do the work inside of it. 90% necessity, maybe at some point 10% heartfelt investment.
Thank you, Zuhal. You guided both my great aunt and my great uncle onto this journey together, over the matter of very few days in between each death. Especially my great uncle was able to ease consciously into his last breaths after a hard struggle that lasted for weeks. I will use this years Samhain and probably also the Mundus Patet in early November to work with their energies in terms of preserving their bond beyond the confines of this earthly life. Their love for another was the only genuine relationship without strings attached in between two people that I’ve ever witnessed in my life and I wish for them to be able to continue with standing in the presence of each others affection.
Thank you Zuhal. Your guidance is no coincidence during the current events in my family.
I haven’t updated this in a while, as I am still under some sort of scholarship of Zuhal and at the moment it doesn’t feel right to mix the current energy flow with new unlockings. Since then I have officially finished my “duty” connected to my blood family and went back into no contact towards them because my job is obviously finished there.
I have discussed with a friend how I will probably never leave that kind of aspect in my professional and personal life and I have handed Zuhal basically the keys to my house, in order to work through this “fate”, so it won’t feel like a burden anymore but like a point of identity.
I will meet Zuhal most certainly again in my birth chart workthrough as I am currently unravelling some findings from there, setting the course for my future decisions.
I have met Zuhal in January during a somewhat strange time in my life. Things got stranger when I reconnected in February to what is now my closest friend despite the different roads we are on; we discussed some saturnian settings in our charts, coming to similar conclusions that matched with outside syncs the entire time. We are connected beyond words and I have my suspicions about Zuhal having a hand in leading especially the different saturnian aspects of our ways closer together. I have decided that I trust into her judgment and to not resist any developments or changes here.
I had a chuckle out of yesterdays sync. After writing about Zuhals influence in my current practice and learning process I got a message about inheriting my great uncles…car. As if someone was saying “Hi” to me. The car is essentially worthless, as in I would probably shoot about 2000 bucks with a well meaning buyer but thats about it with that dinosaur. As a teenager I loved that car because it looked like the ride of a stereotypical villain/drug dealer and I always thought to myself how I wanted to drive a Mercedes one day I guess I will try to squeeze 2-5 years worth of remaining life out of this brick on four wheels. For old times sake.
Greetings i hope you are great. I was just reading this and first thing that caught my attention is that you wrote on my birthday lol. So let me skip the blah lol.
I am interested in djinns. Why? Because as a child in Africa, my family said i was possessed by them and done exorcism.Unfortunately im still not able to see them, nor communicate though i feel their presence. Please can you be of help?thanks
Yeah, maybe these tutorials will be of help in terms of receiving impressions
Developing psychic senses in just any way helps a big deal in the communication department. Working on your psychic muscles on a regular basis will make you have a firmer and more realistic understanding about whether what you’re experiencing is connected to any sort of spirit or if it roots in mundane causes.
In my experience they are overall less “customer friendly” as -for example- the spirits of the Goetia.
They are not shy to set firm boundaries and to express their indifference or dislike towards someone or something. For me personally thats not a bad thing at all but someone might find it difficult to deal with, if they want to play “pick me” with these beings or want to act too familiar too soon
As I suspected months back: the sword wasn’t meant for me to use. I was merely some sort of transportation mule until things either fell into place or I finally woke up from multiple layers of stupidity.
Anyway. The sword that I received from Harthamah has switched owners and I fucking hate to write this because it feels so cringe and unbelievable: it switched mythological grounds. During an astral travel episode I brought it into a “kingdom of light”, travelling as a shadow myself. I handed the sword over to the rightful former owner there, the ruler of this kingdom. Straight after that I dreamed about being able to do something politically against something/someone/a chain of events. I won’t take this literally, but maybe this is some sort of foreshadowing through someone elses eyes and deeds.
Fucking big grain of salt. Take an entire bag if you must. This is for me only, these are my dots to connect:
The 45 from the airport vision. Verse 45 from my german Völuspa translation (its usually the 48 or 47 verse in every other translation) talks about Surtrs flame devouring everything even in the confines of the underworld when Ragnarok pops up. I have my theory about this fire symbolism in the world, since I handed the sword back to its original owner. Fucking crockpot of bollocks, I hate this crossover already.
Never heard of it, Just googled searched it now and I will begin to read it because it caught my attention and welcome back! It looks like you had taken a little bit of break.
a lot of stuff is happening at the moment and I wouldn’t even know where to start, so I’ll try to stick to the most coherent stuff I can manage to express without doubting the entire fabric of reality every other sentence
I suppose that Saturns agricultural aspect started to kick in the moment I consciously decided to accept its never waning presence as a gift and not as a taint.
