Last weekend I was able to finally throw away the last remnants of “exchange” in between my parents and me. Meaningless gifts and trinkets (with literal price tags still attached to it) that I’ve dragged along the way for whatever reason; I always had a bad feeling about wanting to get rid of it. As if throwing it away would delete…what exactly?
Exactly. All of that stuff found its way into a trash bag and I wasn’t second guessing any items or memories attached to it. It felt like a natural thing to do. I suppose that the cord cutting ritual from some weeks ago is still doing its thing, here.
As if some energy residue was picking up on me being done with it I received a call from my father, the other day. He never does that. He also never asks me to see him. I suppose they either need money or someone is dying, or both. I placed my bets on the latter, though. This bloodline is currently dying out rather quickly and it makes me feel oddly at peace with a lot of things. I sometimes wonder if the current “purging and cleansing” energy in my life is also connected to dissolve this bloodline, leading it to its final cycle energetically and closing the entire book, for good. It doesn’t feel wrong when thinking about it. In that context I should probably lay some thoughts into arrangements for my own last breath, ritual wise. As the officially last one who closes the door and turns off the light, so to speak
What else?
I took a little nap, yesterday. I was thinking hard about how to incorporate the energy of one specific tarot card into a ritual this Sunday, drifting somehow off in the process. Before closing my eyes completely I could see a large archangel shaped figure sitting on the other end of the bed; its back was turned on me and it was apparently watching something from across the room that I couldn’t see. I had to chuckle when I heard it utter "That little shit…. " towards that unidentified presence. I wanted to respond with something; I was thinking about how I almost never receive visitations from them and how crass the difference in between this sublime energy and the choice of words presented to me is. The only thing I could say was something along the lines of “Your outfit is super corny, dude” before falling asleep. Blimey. I would have liked to see the source of this vulgar outburst.