Hello,
I am pretty new to all this. I don’t really have any formal practice with ,magick‘ myself, in fact I am still exploring and trying to understand what it exactly is and entails.
I do remember though that as a kid I was really into all things magical, witches, fairies etc.
In about 2017 I could identify the odd symptoms and feelings I’ve been having as a more or less spontaneous Kundalini activation and ever since have been going through a process of sometimes very intense cleansing and internal change, essentially waking up to my spiritual nature in a more conscious way and with that also rediscovering and re-developing my intuition and spiritual gifts.
I have always been philosophically inclined and eventually got interested in eastern philosophy and spirituality, Depth psychology, Buddhism. Started practicing meditation, yoga, dream work, lucid dreaming, energy work, shadow work, and more recently got interested in occultism and its practices.
Especially when I met a friend and teacher a few years ago - he really awakened my interest in (particularly western) spirituality and occultism even more, as he was an old adept.
I ended up starting an apprenticeship with him in the field of Geomancy/radiesthesia, which didn’t go far because sadly he died recently. Now I am left with a lot of questions and a desire to further pursue my interests.
Particularly his views and knowledge on ,forbidden‘ and misunderstood entities and practices, such as Satan, demons, black magic, really challenged and expanded my own pre existing views and beliefs. He openly admitted to working with demons and black magic, told me that the so called devil/Lucifer is the friend and liberator of humanity (and yet that you shouldn’t worship him or worship anything for that matter) and is also helpful in manifestation. In a way some of it confirmed my own intuitions, as I had always felt that we’re being bullshitted on a grand scale by the church and religion in general, in order to undermine our true potential, and that maybe the devil isn’t all bad hah.
My teacher also insinuated that I might have been ,unconsciously’ and intuitively practicing some form of black magic. I do know that my maternal great grandfather practiced magic, so I might have inherited some abilities and skills from that side.
I definitely want to develop my spiritual abilities even more.
Through the measurement tools I acquired in my apprenticeship, I could measure the frequency of a particular entity/deity (Kali) (everything, including entities, has a particular frequency which can be measured with the right tools) that I apparently have channeled subconsciously into some of my artworks.
I do also really feel drawn to Lilith and feel like I have a connection with her that I’d like to explore further. Also Lucifer.
I feel that one (at that time very traumatic) life experience in particular acted as a kind of initiation to me. Into the hidden, dark, unseen undercurrents of existence.
The other/dark side, the void that births all of creation.
Before I practice anything, I feel the need to really understand what I’m doing. Perhaps this can actually be a bit of a blockage sometimes, as magic seem to be something that is much more related to feelings and intuition, even if it might have some form of structure and logic, it seems that the urge to logically understand everything can get in the way a bit for me.
I don’t even know if magic, witchcraft and the LHP is my path but I am definitely intrigued and interested in it and feel compelled to explore and learn about it more, which is why I’m here.
I am aware magic is not a substitute for therapy but I am interested in its potential for personal transformation and healing the soul and reintegrating unconscious split-off personality/soul fragments in order to become who we desire and are meant to be.
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