I need your help to come clean

Magick is going the way i want it, but i have one blockage a weekly addiction. In the weekend i love to release stress by drinking and with that i use drugs. I’m functional, do my work. But i can’t ascend. It makes me lose sleep. And you have to gain extra sleep to get functional again. So i need a healing.

Normally i’m telling myself i will stop, but this goes on forever now, i don’t stop.

I’m hyperactive, so the drug gives me rest, the only problem is after that you’re energy is very low.

So i need to stop my working with Lucifer and ask him to work only on my goal to stop using weekly. But then if you would use, say once in a month or two months then the chance is you fall back.

You can say, ‘well it’s once in a week, not every day’. But when i say if i stop a bit, i want to use more after that.

It’s my only big blockage.

Please some tips of helping me through this. Enjoying life is hard, without a normal weekend.


Set it so you cannot use drugs or alcohol without meeting some goal you have set. I have a bunch of restrictions I have given myself on certain activities until I manage to fulfill certain conditions. Instead of trying to stop cold turkey use them to bait on your success with definite verifiable goals and even then only in a set amount determined far in advance and set. In time you will lose the desire for such things.


The biggest thing with giving a vice up or moderating it, is reformatting your thought process to smooth the transition. Lets use cigarettes as an example.

If you say, “i have to stop, i cant have anymore cigarettes”, you are still identifting AS a smoker, and thus the willpower needed to stop will be greater than if you identified as a nonsmoker. Ex. “I dont really want one, no reason to smoke right now”, etc.

Its better to gently let go than to wrestle with something you love. And hey, there’s no point in a vice unless you enjoy it.

Cigarettes were a mild example, the same psychology applies to whatever your drug of choice is


Cigarettes are pretty hardcore in my opinion. I’ve quit before, but started back each time for odd reasons.

I’ve had contact with the AA/NA crowd since I was a little kid. They taught me lots of helpful things about spirituality. They are basically a magic practicing order. “Higher Power” makes most of them think of God, but they are clear that it really means anything that gets a member the result they seek. It’s not that different from left-hand philosophy.

Anyhow, proper addiction is brutal. All the willpower and godhood in the universe doesn’t help when the addict themselves makes the decision to use.

“I don’t want to get high, so I won’t.”
Three hours later
“I want to get high, so I will.”

It’s the kind of life experience that drives the question, “Who am I?” Is the user really the same entity as the quitter? Are we the same person now that we were five minutes ago?

The best advice I have is don’t beat yourself up over it. The “clean” side of your mind isn’t going to win by causing the self pain while the “dirty” side goes around getting the self high. Imagine that your mind is an animal trainer and the self is a separate being. Figure out ways to inject positive feelings and convince the self to do what you want.

It’s a huge challenge. You’ll win, and you probably won’t know exactly how you did it. Most people don’t.


Thanks everyone, know yourself is a good teaching. Your weaknesses…

Normally the day after hangover i want to stop. During the next days you talk yourself into well not that much, one time. After a busy week and a drink you don’t have that hangover feeling anymore you dislike so it starts over again and again.


Dont beat yourself up friend, we all do things in our own time. Change your self image, and the rest will follow, is what im hoping on. Ive still got a lot of improvement to do myself


Rational Recovery fixes that shit for you, it shows why willpower and all that hoo-hah mean NOTHING, they actually just arm the addiction.

You got to be smarter, not harder, to win. https://rational.org/index.php?id=35


Thanks @DormiensDei for your help/tips friend. I will let you know how things go.


in a similar place myself and have been for 20 years. Following this thread.



I have used all kinds of hard drugs from 18 to 25 years.

This forum and my ascension path is literally what’s holding me back from getting high again.

I need to develop my astral skills, I have lovely companions waiting for me. I feel it’s my duty to live a sober life without crazy stimulation.

I fucked up my brain chemistry, and now i’m waiting to balance everything out. Healthy lifestyle, sports etc. Find hobbies/ sports in the weekends, and at nighttime you could devote some extra time to the gods. Practicing your psychic abilities.

I was a hedonistic crazy motherfucker doing all kinds of crazy stuff. When you’re high you become a different person. It’s so weird. Cocaine, Speed (Amphetamines), GHB, Ketamine, 2-CB, 6-APB, LSD, various Research Chemicals, you name it, I tried everything and I liked it. I’m a HSP person, Highly Sensitive and I was going crazy because I couldn’t handle my emotions/sensitivities and I was trying to escape from myself, numbing my feelings down etc.

After years of partying and being a loser, I woke up and found this forum. I dived right into the paranormal world. I have had visions about myself, I can’t continue on this paranormal path if I keep doing drugs. It’s numbing me down way too much. I have discovered that I need my sensitivity for clair sentience and stuff.

6 months ago I did cocaine, MDMA and GHB, and I lost my companions connection. They were gone, maybe they were sad, mad, because I broke my promises. I felt very guilty, depressed, and now i’m meditating and practicing. I don’t feel those cravings anymore so badly. I got it really bad on friday/Saturday nights, that was the time I used to go out partying.

Now I go lay down on my bed and call my succubus companions. I meditate with them and the cravings leave. Also I ask Lucifer for help, do some evocations etc,

It’s important to know that your dopamine is fooling you. You have to ride out the cravings/depressions with activities that you love to do. More devotion to magick/rituals/energy work.

My friday and saturday nights are filled with studying for my degree and studying paranormal stuff, magick / rituals/ energy work / reading books / having conversations with my succubus companions / the occasional movie (I don’t watch much tv) / reading about kundalini / dark tantra etc etc,

My days are filled with endless supply of information that I want to learn. I need it for my ascension.

You can always PM me if you’re going through rough times.


Can make you vomit uncontrollable everytime you drink and do drugs, but that sounds unpleasant :smirk:


May I ask what drug? You don’t have to answer. I can tell you that one of the hardest things that I ever stopped was drinking. Now I do but in moderation. I hold the belief that everything is permissible in moderation. I actually will use 420 when I’m working as it helps me open myself. I use it ritually. Not every time but some.


Also I wanna add that since you feel it is an addiction talk to people about it. Get people you trust to hold you accountable. And also although this may sound silly, on this path there are chain breakers. Lucifer and Balial can help I believe


Thank you for your experience @SpaceTravelr, you need something to replace it. For me it could be a day out or indeed a nice ritual. But after a week work and study it’s easy to forget all the stress and sometimes loneliness. But on the other and if I go out with a friend there is no loneliness.


And thanks for the offer I will keep it in mind.


When I say I come clean, I come clean. I say it to people I really know good. Some people will never understand, so you can’t say it to everyone. It is coke after enough alcohol.


And when I’m on vacation or away it’s no problem at all. Only after a busy week with some alcohol than I have no stop, I want to go on :wink:


I’m hyper sensitive (which helps me with this path) and hyperactive, so it gives me some relaxing time. Only that’s gone the first day and the day after


I get you. Most people that you could talk to would be quick to judge. I think your in a place mentally where if you want help it can be received. When I drank all the time it took a very bad experience to break the habit. I passed out in a crowd of people and didn’t know any of them. I don’t know of a way to help you personally but if you ever need a random person to talk to please don’t hesitate to pm me. I will gladly talk to you.