Check out Eckhart Tolle on YouTube!
When he says about “presence is there” he means of us or you or him being present in the moment and not unconscious being controlled by the ego mind.
The ego mind will brings thoughts and keep you in time for example
" I am a loser people never liked me because of the way i was was born" (PAST time) it will look for negative reasons and blame the past for what is going on in the present.
The Ego will also try keep your thoughts in the future “Oh I will never get that job, I am not good enough for it” these are examples I used from my own experience.
Practice to remain in the present moment.
What ever the situation is now.
Everyone is giving wonderful advice. Hang in there, practice your meditation if you find time. It can be very spiritually calming and beneficial if you want to train your astral senses or anything of the sort - even to just get away from it all. I’ve been in a similar situation, and it may be hard right now, but you can make it through this. Stay strong. Even Lucifer believes in you it seems.
I’ve read your thread and firstly I want to say that I’m sorry that you’re going through a tough time in your life. I might not be able to help you through magickal means, as I’m a beginner and cannot give you proper advice in this area but I’d like to reach out to you in this post.
I want to say that I’ve been there. When I was a teenager I ended up at at another relatives house. My parents split and my parent who had custody could not care for me. And being separated from my parents had left me depressed and devastated. I thInk every child or teenager deep down wants the normal family life. Not ending up at an aunts or grandparents house. I know something probably traumatic or hard may have happened that lead you to live with your aunt. But I do want to say this… as a teenager, you might not understand why or for what reason it is that your aunt or cousin choose to respond or do. I know I didn’t. My relative who took me in - she didn’t have to do that. She opened up her home to me, provided for me, fed me, and took care of me. It’s because she loved me. Now as a 23 year old I realized this now and I am very grateful for what she had done for me and I thank her to this day. Your aunt must love you a lot to take you in.
As for the self harming, if I knew ANYBODY in my family intentionally hurt themselves, I would be just as upset and honestly I wouldn’t know how to respond; maybe I would feel anger (just because I wouldn’t know how to help the person - and you just want them to be better). You told your cousin about it and I’m sure she told your aunt because she was upset and she didn’t know how to help you. So in turn, she told your aunt to get her support and get her attention onto you so you could get help. I know what you might be thinking, “but she ruined our trust.” Yes, she did technically, but she would have rather you gotten help than not, you should try to see this in other people’s perspectives. (This has helped me get a lot of clarity in past situations that made me go “oh so THATS why so and so did what they did, or said what they said.”) In her eyes maybe telling your aunt was the only way she could have brought about change for you and for you to get help.
The door being taken off of your room is a push to extreme measures but from the limited information I know, this is a precaution for you and to deter you from anymore self harm. Your family does not want you to hurt yourself, and from an outside perspective, it seems to me they care about you a lot. I think you should bring up therapy to your aunt again. She might be thinking she can help you herself by “keeping a close eye on you,” without getting aid of a counselor or therapist, but sometimes it takes a licensed professional and someone outside of the situation to give you want you need to heal.
I also think you should remember to focus on the positives in life and try to start thinking positive thoughts.
I answered your other post. I think it’s great to work with Lucifer. He is the one that can work on bigger goals and can make big changes. He can protect you too.
