I have doubt and i am bit unsure about the path and i am worried about advancement

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The following is emotional and im literally writing from vulnerable state, rather than intellectual, but still it is serious to me, i know i will surpass this, but currently, its bit too much, i hope someone with experience give me some comforting, i know that seems child like, but literally i really need it, since my experiences, are literally going way fast than what i can handle, which is a bit too much, also, even if i stop meditation, things do not necessarily stop even worse, i start losing benefits, so i am forced into advancing.

My biggest problem currently is sometimes i start doubting myself, and doubting my contacts even if i have valid ones. I used to doubt if i ever had a real contact with a being but at least this i am sure about now, the nature of the beings is what worries me currently and if i am doing the correct identification.

I get doubt like: am i really on right path? Do i have 0 bad entities around really ? Since i experience 0 attacks. And its all good. Is there some things i should fix spiritually or its all good? Like should i do a cleansing or whatever.

I mean i get paranoid or worried about my situation out of doubt. I wish i could somehow have like a scan, it seems there are pendulum methods for that, but im not yet good at pendulums. So i may influence the response.

I did even touch Samadhi occasionally. And i do not know if this is big indicator of all is well, or if one can have those experiences and still have bad entities around or some curse or whatever.

Many times i was thinking like : i just hope i contacted only Angels they seem peaceful at least i would not worry compared to Demons who seem more non dual lol, i am not saying that is truth but this is what go through my mind.

I am currently not bound anymore to working with Demons only, and i am expanding to angels and such. I noticed its a big trap to focus on 1 segment.

Ironically, the moment i started integrating different spiritual practices instead of focusing on 1 segment, i got an upgrade in experience, i prefer not to say it. But things got enhanced.

I want to take this further and test stuff, but i am really afraid i will end up messing everything up.

Through my experiences, i know that some entities are of extreme power, and i still do not understand how some get away with messing with those entities, i highly speculate those entities do collaborate, they are not fully ´under control’, especially that entities can go as far as influencing electronic devices and electricity.

So they can turn someones life into hell if they decide to, i mean a magican can do a banishing etc… but what about some normal person, if those entities display those powers to a normal person he will go insane, i am sure he won’t get in his house again.

This makes me worry about advancing more in the path since i am feeling clearly and there are enough signs i will see entities in more constant basis, and i do not know how that goes, its hard on the brain.

Same for hearing, luckily, all what i heard astrally was either random or normal talk. Or beautiful. Rarely heard for example a girl moaning loudly and painfully i was hearing her being far so it was not very scary. Like if i am spying on her and she is very far thats how i heard,

But i kept thinking : imagine someone get astral hearing open and he hears this in prolonged way.

I hope members with long years of experience confort me in relation to the above. I did not mention things, i hinted at many things, i do not want to mention exact experiences, especially like in the above for example while mentioning a specific experience, my phone crushed and the phrase gets deleted, i write it again, the phone again lags and it gets deleted and this happened like 3-5 times until i understood.

I am personally amazed and at awe of how spiritual entities especially the powerful ones can influence reality. I used to think, if they are real, why they do not do X Y Z, but now, i am sure they can do many things. Which is insane. I am very glad at least the most powerful entities at least from my experience have a degree of nobility and do not act recklessly if those were attacking everything that moves, it would have been a problem.

I started being like a muslim, i find muslim thanking the One, thanking the All, or calling him Allah. Telling him thanks for protection, and that no one is beyond him. The one being above even the Gods thats i view the ONE.

I know its funny, but due to pressure of being overwhelmed, i literally went back to reading Qurran from time to time, i pick the verses that i used to connect with long ago, especially those in relation to protection, and i read and feel peaceful.

What makes me have those moments of doubts, is especially things i do not understand for example lately, when i lay down many times my feet start tingling, and i do not know whats that, or i feel pressure under my feet.

When i meditate sometimes i feel pressure in chest which reminds me of how i felt my heart chakra before so this actually i like since its most likely the heart chakra, happens usually after chanting mantras and vibrating them, however the tingling feet feel weird.

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This is a common issue and I think a sign of good mental health, most of us have it and if we don’t, we’re possibly just delusional. :slight_smile: You can read may takes via the search for “overcome doubt” - this one I thought said some good things…

That’s like asking if there are no mice in your house - probably not if you just had a good clean out, but it won’t stay that way. Spiritual hygiene is a lifestyle not a one and done.

Doesn’t hurt to cleanse daily, or do them as you feel like it. There’s no set rule.

Set up wards and shields and you should have less to worry about. These are like magickal fences and walls around you. You lock your doors at night, so why wouldn’t you set up wards? They’re in the basics collection because they are magick 101, and you should already have them before you start contacting entities. Unofficial Tutorials: Spiritual Hygiene & Defense Basics Collection

You learn to “dial it down” so you stop hearing/knowing/feeling too much when you don’t want to. This is another step on the journey.

Sounds like energy moving, possibly blocked in that area. Don’t forget to ground properly to clear excess energy.

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Thank you for your reply! I felt a relief,

:joy:Your replies are the best, always i end up light hearted reading them! This line made me feel less overwhelmed about the subject thinking of them like mice.

So thats the problem i rarely ground, i am addicted to the High feelings and generally upper chakras work..

I’ll focus on that, i have currently problem with opening & closing at will, the clairaudience and clairvoyance. They both happen to me on their own and close on their own.

I researched this i found many cultures do them even if they forgot they are actually wards,

I will use them, what made me overlook them before, is i am usually driven by testimonials and the mechanism behind things, i did not find something practical said about them,

The wards i mentally do not know like how potent is the space with ward vs without ward,

Like is the difference clear from your experience?

Is it in the category of the techniques that are a must/ worth it/potent,

or the category of : Cherry on top, in which category you place wards?

Same for the talismans or whatever thing that we can carry around for protection, i wonder is those too are potent or just cherry on top,

When researching magic, some magicians when engaging in work they label extreme risky, they add the protection that is carried like an extra, which made me think: wait this is i guess powerful if those type of magicians do them,

I generally have this weakness of not being able to assess the true potency of techniques.

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You wont find an individual on this forum or established authors that haven’t undergone severe doubt (even if not always spoken). There are many moving parts within your current mental state. Deprogramming the mind leads to a hamster wheel effect of making the attempt of deprogramming the program. Due to the emotional and intellectual complexity involved and attempting to balance those, it may or may not create internal instability which you may or may not find yourself at a bridge of either swearing allegiance towards a path or entity to soothe that emotional discomfort and drive the process forward through ego and “hyping oneself”.

The internal debate that potentially can arise is one of whether it was natural or forced integration -restarting the process all over again which leads to system hopping. You may not see it now but you at the most important phase of your development. Which ever way you go, the doubt will always be there as long as you make the decision to progress.

What potentially could be missing is a core practice that you have done so many times that you have enough data to form a belief and build trust from which will be based off your individual experience. I suggest something completely neutral like an energy practice which over time will allow you to interact with energy and ultimately your reality from a space of independency and a neutrality . It is from this neutral point you can form your own qualitative and quantified analysis, which means less intellectual masturbation and less internal conflict.

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This is, honestly, one of my biggest fears, too, which started as soon as I decided diving in. I have a good imagination, and tend to obsess on topics I research, so it would be easy for me to drive myself into a state of permanent LARP. That’s why I’m trying to moderate my expectations and pull away from my obsessive tendencies — which is, unfortunately, a little difficult and counterintuitive for me.

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To avoid drifting, i personally write my experiences in journal seing multiple instead of 1 by 1 give a better perspective, and also i keep focusing on results, improving things, improving my internal state, improving my communication with entities, improving this and that etc.. this way i am sure whatever ´powers’ i think i am accumulating are actually real, backed by tangible improvements.

i also love reading other people opinions and UPGs, and love reading debates, this improves my discernment, makes able to avoid getting stuck in my own bubble which happened to me several times and i am glad i break free from that,

For examples the Angels, i used to believe i should not contact them because i am on Demons side, Now im good with both. Not sure about the future i learnt that no stance can be truly final. I will not do that mistake again.

I noticed this works in synergy with fear, at least in my experience, and made me even have side effects like things is real, while they are not,

So i eradicate fear, and when i do fear i discard experiences, i do not take what i think or believe because of fear as real since this really destroys me and make me have false conclusions,

But what i talked about in above thread happens to me periodically and im glad other members said its not uncommon,

I did stop listening to horror stories etc.., since those program me to expect certain things in spiritual realm, being that easily programmed, i started reading only beautiful stuff which is working perfectly.

That helped me i hope it helps you.

Thanks, this specific part resonated with me so well, i am trying to be better at that.

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