Go crawling to Hephaestus with love in your heart. HONOR this God that was disowned by his own divine parents for being so ugly. Toss out of heaven. He serves no one, but himself. He will make armour for ONLY the most worthy. It is His call alone to make.
Now, he will only toss out a pair of sandles with holes on the soles of the feet, the most dull short sword, and a dirty long shirt that smells of piss and shit.
Now, put it all on with a big, grateful smile on your face. Ask him where you need him to put you the most.
He will say, ‘See that road, take it until you see a cliff. Jump down it.’
There you see a large army of the most beautiful men you can imagine. Their armour blinds you with the world’s most expensive jewels shining off of them. Perfumed. Hair perfectly stylized.
You land hard. Hurting yourself. You hear 100’s of men laughing at you. You feel ashamed, and are about on the verge of tears.
Ten of the them come surrounding you. One mildly kicks you in the ribcage. Testing you. Wait.
They are laughing so hard they don’t see you plunge your dull sword with all the pain and hate you have in the foot that dared to touch you. You don’t stop there. You hit dirt through his foot and going up his leg up his midsection slicing his entire body in two.
Not getting up, you slice 18 pairs of legs. You hear the moans of pain. You finally crack a small smile.
You leave them.
You are surrounded on all sides. But no one is making a move. The stench you are giving off is making them sick.
You move to the right, they move to the left. You move to left, they all move to the right.
You find the most handsomest man, and simply plunged your sword into his chest. And then cut his dick off and wear it as charm around your neck.
You take your sweet time slaughtering these over privilege males. You take nothing from them.
You leave to return to Hephaestus, and return His gifts to Him.
He is pleased with your work. He ask you what you desire. You say your own demonic armor.
The god laughs.
’You have all you need around your neck.'
You ask for a trade then. He agrees. You hand him the cock from your neck.
Whatever armor you request he will make you.