I will send my angels, friend.
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Okay that makes sense.
So. Hrm. My worst habit lately has been not drinking enough water. I’ve been trying to change that but I gotta tell you it’s effing HARD. I mean, this is the hardest change I’ve ever had to make in my life. I hate water. So I’ve been following a new rule on that - but the pockets are already there.
From what I understand when your poo gets too hard from, say, constipation it basically pushes at your gut and causes injuries that cause pockets. From what little research I have been able to do the chief way to maintain diverticulitis is what I already do - aside from the water, which is important in getting my body to flow properly and not make the call of nature so painful as it has been lately. And smaller, too.
Then there’s the infection itself. That’s because something got lodged into the pocket, festered, and became an infection. I haven’t looked into yoga moves to help that yet (one of my go to answers to being sick in various ways) but when I’m moving better I will.
I did concentrate a little to dislodge the thing but have no idea of course if it worked.
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Oh, and aloe juice is good for this. But the problem with aloe is if you do too much you can actually hurt one of your organs - I forget which one. So for now I’m drinking it but also trying to figure out the limits.
@Mbishop - thank you so much. I gotta do honor to those guys more often.
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So something is CAUSE your “drink more water than wanted.”
There’s no, like “oh yeah perfect white light peeps drink 2l a day guess you stopped lol PAIN now due lol!” that must be obeyed.
RHP “Faith” and religion is like, “look at what happened then maek imagination to fix in line with belief”…
LHP is. look what got borked.
Analyse.
FIX. 
I am not even my Best Self and I see this.
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I think you trying to process shit was you trying to make these intolerable things/people/situations in your life. not only tolerable, but also, yield useful stuff?
Does this fit a bit, for why your gut would suddenly decide all these years to like, give SHIT a second chance even though it is really fucking you up?
Are you being brainwashed with too much TOLERANCE - as a concept, NOT to do with politics??
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Well the signs are that I’ve actually had this condition for most of my life. But constipation makes it worse. So much worse. It can literally kill you once you have it. And they’re not even sure what causes it. That’s just one theory. (I have my own theories based on some unpopular science things I’ve been looking at, but that’s not for here.) You can have this thing for a full on decade and more and not even know it.
I used to try to be so very tolerant of things and accepting and that got me shat upon waaaay too much. Hence the person you are talking to today. But it took a LOT of hard knocks for it to sink in, which is my fault I’m sure. These days if the environment is unhealthy I dump it if possible.
But yeah. Water. Sigh. Water. Your’e supposed to drink 8 cups a day. I’m lucky to get down 3. I try. I really try. But I’m a sipper not a guzzler. I will get a drink in the morning of, say, sweet tea and sip that for hours and hours. That I think is why I finally fell down and ended in the hospital. I had no idea I wasn’t truly hydrated. I mean, after all, I always have a drink by my side!
Tolerance and trying to give things a new asshole/colon out of your own flesh, so they could become tolerable.
I think you need to find your hate, and forgive past-you for this, first.
Enough has imposed upon you.
What do you think?
ponders a moment
I think that I once went to someone who actually specialized in that. She read me a moment, then sat back in surprise and asked me what the hell. I’d paid my dues centuries ago, why in the hell was I still paying the price? I could only shrug. I didn’t know because I have no idea what the hell I did in the first place. Unless you wanna count that thing or that other thing…
Then we had a laughing chat about a certain event that toppled a tower and got her fired, but I was only a small child for heaven’s sake. I refuse to take the blame for that one. (To be precise when she realized who I was she stood up, pointed at me, and cried, “YOU! It’s YOU!” Yes. Yes. It’s me. How ya doin’.)
I also know that things like this are what forces me to stop being lazy and do stuff.
I think that embracing the dark path is something I’ve been pushed towards my entire life but fought against because I just didn’t want to be That Guy™. I wanted to be the other guy, the one with the fluffy wings. Not the sharp knife wings.
And that on the riverside somewhere a crab died and that will always always always hold me back.
I’m angry but there’s very little I hate. Spartans, yeah sure. Hate them. A certain modern day faction and certain gangs: actually I don’t hate them but I do see them as issues that must be resolved once and for all. But I hate the results of what they do. And I hate being the last of my particular twig of bloodline.
Some things I can do something about. Some… well. I knew when I was a kid all would be lost on those points. So all you can do about it is be sad a little and wait, because you might be wrong. Something new may be revealed. And you may become jubilant.
When it comes to past me… I have only a few regrets. These would have happened after my gut formed pockets and I started to be sick more frequently. I have taken those regrets already and learned from them to become a better person. (shrugs)
End ponder/information dump.
So… I just dunno. I shall have to ask I think. See if someone (thing) can show me what I’m missing.
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Ooh, snap, I got told I was wicked at 7, on the 2nd day of attending a new Sunday school (mum thing, I thought it was nonsensical and boring) and they kicked me out. All I did was ask questions. I thought they were just stupid and embarrassed at not knowing the answer, in which case why was this lady qualified to teach a class? How little I knew.
i’m also bad at asking for help. Azazel introduced me to Ka’hl (no idea how to spell it) who told be it’s another form of limiting belief system and to get over it - no only can she not do what she likes to do if people don’t ask first, she’s literrally be hanging around not doing much waiting for me to get over myself. So I let go a little fear and pride and asked. And she blew my mind. No strings.
Ok so I have a small story to tell of my journey to bring you healing energy - it got quite interesting!
I promised to send good energy, and I started that process, but switched up to come over for a bit of remote energy working. I showed up at the door of a room, with a person, which was you @Spearcarrier lying prone on a bed in the middle of the room, and a window opposite. The room was completely full of beings all working together. The biggest presences were 2 at your feet and one to your right side, couple of them wearing the hooded robes doing things at levels I couldn’t see. I nearly backed off thinking ‘too many cooks’, but I made a promise, so I thought, I’ll just make a big old qi ball with the intention to heal, and offer it to the higher self to do with whatever they like. So I did that, made a large green glowing ball of healing energy and there you were hovering at the head of your body and took that. Fine. I was off, I said ‘bye’ and ‘Espavo’ you which is Atlantean for "thank you for taking your power’ and turned to go…
‘Espavo!’ called a guy in the crowd - on the other side of the two at your feet, was another human, who knew what that meant. That never happens! He was super excited, insisted on a hug and was all warm and happy. We talked for a sec, I don’t remember about what, I think I asked his name, I thought Lance at first but it’s something like Darron (I’m deaf as a post) but, while I was talking to him I was looking at you, and through you at the energy in your body… and I realised there actually was this murky brown energy in your abdomen. And no-one else was really working with that.
So I asked and folks were like, well you’re the one who can see it so you should work on it. Ok. I went back over and stood to your right hip, next to the other entity on your right, and started using Iron Tongs to pull out the brown gungey energy… and as I tuned into it more, it formed from gunge to individual critters. Little 1-3 inch long, brown transparent sea animals-like chappies, with dark spots along their sides and lots of cute nubbins for little feet, like across between a very boring sea slug and a short brown caterpillar, only see-through. Might have been an astral manifestation of infection, now that I think about it, not sure. I googled for images but didn’t find anything close yet. Well I took them all out and put them in a jar (about 50 of them in the end, but not hard to remove as they were gathered together up in pockets tucked underneath the folds of the large intestine and I could grab a bunch at once, with one or two strays). Nobody wanted them and I didn’t want to kill them cos they were so cute, so I kept them and put them on a shelf back at my place, which I call the Waystation. They reminded me of the astral larvae that are like the funghi of the astral and clean up discarded energy, but can accidentally attach to people if they have issues with their qi body like leaks… only not.
Then I did some ‘sweeps’ - sweeps are like an overall leveling sort of thing, more like combing out knots or gubbins from the qi body, and I combed out some dark sooty matter that I put deep into the Earth to recycle (it’s not coming back). Then I channeled a ton of energy into your Lower Dan Tian, which seemed quite depleted - I invited Darron in on that at this point, but he wasn’t sure about that at all. I think the critters had been feeding on whatever energy they were nearest, including the energy centers near the abdomen, but with a full Lower Dan Tian it should spread out to the other energy centers as needed.
I filled the room with more healing energy and left for realsies. No one else left that I saw the whole time and as far as I know they’re all still there, except Darron who politely came for a visit at my Waystation, but he didn’t stop long. Oh, I just remembered the dude at your right said something to me about human healing capacity as I left… ugh, I think it was good but I can’t get it back now.
Hopefully that helped, or at worst did nothing, or maybe you feel a bit better anyway and it’s just a happy coincidence. One of the nice things about qi work, is qi is intelligent, set it with the right intention and it will go where its needed - so you can be off the mark and still help.
Anyway thank you for giving the opportunity to try. 
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@Mulberry - Well, first of all I actually have missed this in the past several years: talking to people who can do these things and even participating once in a while. Although it would be nice if we were discussing a cooler subject and not, well, my being so ill. LOL So your post is amazing.
I have a fever tonight. Thank goodness I can type over 100WPM cuz as soon as I’m done I’m crawling back in the bed.
Which is where I was last night but couldn’t sleep - I can’t sleep if I feel dirty. So I took a bath. And that is when I felt things get worse, you see, and why I felt like it was like whatever we’d dispelled came back with force.
It felt like something ruptured and the pain which was in one spot spread out across my belly. I barely made it back to the bed and pretty much screamed my head off a while. Hubby came in, and tried to take me to the hospital but there was no getting me up. This was just after midnight my time. I don’t know how long the agony lasted but finally pain meds kicked in. I wasn’t in a puddle of blood so he went back to bed and I tried to sleep. But couldn’t so crawled back up, posted here, and noticed - wait. It’s dawning outside. What the heck. No way was I screaming for 5 hours straight.
A new problem has cropped up. THIS problem crops up when I’ve been fighting an infection or have been sick for too long so I’m not surprised. But it’s the source of a lot of the new pain. I know how to treat this but am annoyed because the pain meds aren’t deadening it.
I didn’t have a fever at the dr’s office. I have a slight fever now. I haven’t been taking the new meds long enough to say they’re not working. But if I feel worse tomorrow I’m back at the office so help me.
In my case I was accused of being wicked for 1. making up a word rather than using an actual curse word in order to be polite to church folks 2. encouraging a Satanic friend to go to church with me. 3. because the dumb ho’s spirits told her I was dark and evil. 4. because the dumb ho told my friend I was evil. (That was demeaning. She actually smudged me, her friend, as if I were laundry to be washed.) 5. Actually most of the time it’s been because the “spirits” told them I was evil. Maybe I’m evil. I must be evil. A bunch of channeled insecure mind voices say so.
Okay. Lemme see. The bed is in a corner of the room. At the foot on the wall the bed is against is a window. On the wall the headboard is against is another window. The other two walls are blank.
However.
On the wall facing the foot of the bed, which would be opposite, is a mirror. And mirrors… tend to open as windows when I’m around.
Oh I know of those guys but I also wonder what they were doing. Like I suspiciously wonder what they were doing. I used to get nightly visits from all sorts of people, back in the day. 15 and 9. Sometimes 12 and 9 and then 3. But that was then. This is now.
This made me chuckle. The story I’d told earlier was indeed about one of the Atlantis eras, and I was pondering it when I went to sleep.
Ha! That’s awesome!!! I can see why he was excited, too. Perhaps you made a new friend? (Friends are precious.)
I never got to the level where I could interact like that. People literally have to get in my face by about an inch and shout. I get senses, images, feelings, but overall I’m deaf and blind.
If you talk to Darrell again ask him if he’s Bunny Foo Foo. Just ask. He won’t hurt ya, I’m sure of it. Also, before you talk to him tell yourself that your memory is recording the conversation for legal purposes and maybe you’ll trick your mind into remembering.
Ah, oh yes. I don’t know what they are, but they sound like cute parasites. Maybe even babies as you perceive them as cute.
I’ve actually felt like some bad something were there for years and have tried numerous times to get it out. If that works as a confirmation for you?
Hurh. I used to bleed a lot astrally out of one of my joints. Have no idea if I still bleed, but I’ve always been given to understand that because of it’s nature it doesn’t heal. Because of the weapon used see. Maybe that attracted the little suckers.
Or maybe they’re freaking wasp babies from one of my ex’s. He spawned litters from time to time.
Or maybe I thought they’d make good pets on one of my romps around the cosmos. Or felt sorry for them. Or uh… okay. I’m out of ideas.
Pretty sure they’re not my kids either way.
I have no idea what that is. But I have been depleted for a long long time. I can remember feeling like the energizer bunny - giving people healing and doing all sorts of stuff magickally and never breaking a sweat. My older brother even put a binding on me because I was, “Too powerful” or some crap.
Those were the days. I’ll have to research this on the morrow.
Are you kidding?!? Thank YOU for telling me such fascinating stuff!
Can you remember what everyone looked like? I’m curious. That’s a lot of people for little ol’ me. Were they ALL human? Wowzers.
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hubby here. I started the curse breaking last night. I am not trained in any way i just do what seems right. And last night it was 3 bay leaves, a candle, some incense and a shiny quarter under the the little girl statue on our alter. The first bay leaf went up quick and crackled very angrily. The second crackled but went up slower. The third burned a nice mellow flame without crackling and smoothly. with each i pushed the idea into the mirrors around the alter that any curse or hex is being broken and like a taut bowstring lashing back at its origin.(i have never been accused of being nice). After the third and things felt smoother and calm i lit the incense and the candle, placed the quarter as a reaffirmed commitment to restoring the temple to its full glory, sent the smoke around the house (smoke seems to like to go where i need it) to add some guards and went back in to make sure she was still doing decently. As far as the pool of blood i learned most of my medical stuff while in the army so if there was not a pool of blood then she was not going to die before morning and we all needed sleep. Don’t ask me who i work with as i could not tell you other than i have been seen as an uftzerker(their term), werewolf, shifter of some form, and fenris is probably my favorite chaos causer. (i loosely follow norse traditions)
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I will go back into a deeper investigation after work.
I did pop up to the Waystation to check the jar, since that’s quick and easy too, and 2/3 seemed to have escaped, most were on the floor, and I pulled them back using the claim I made on them yesterday. They don’t like the jar I’ll have to look into that - but, but since I’d already read that they were back, or others of their kind might be back, I might have invented that. Imagination in a mutable realm can make you your own worst enemy - controlling it to form right thought to lead to right action is crucial. The last thing I want to do is invent unhelpful energies for no reason than basic fear or they just occurred to me.
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Other brain dump idea is, find the pattern of a healthy gut:
First, to make sure the “program” closes, state “I bless you, I appreciate you, I love you, I am sorry, thank you” - to the illness. Visualise it as you say this, state it three times, then go wash your hands, or hair, or take a shower to break that moment.
It’s coming from somewhere and is like an annnoying nag from an old energy pattern, sometimes acknowledging it closes it, this is also how Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT, also known as tapping) sometimes works, it acknowledges the thing so it can stop trying to get attention.
Next stage: conceptualise your awareness as a mini-you that can walk around the body of physical you, this is an image used sometimes in cartoons where the brain is a control room, and is how bodies actually appear sometimes when doing shamanic healing on a person (or oneself) - like big semi-transparent structures with major organs, energy systems etc., visible.
Send your consciousness back to your Ze’al chakra (where spine and skull meet, more or less) and see it as a whiteborad that glows white with magenta edges, like the pinky-red that you see in retinal afterimages.
Call on it like it was a voice-operated computer to show the blueprint of a healthy colon. Have a strong idea in your mind what this is, maybe read some basic anatomy books just beforehand and refresh yourself on diagrams etc.
Once you see this blueprint on the screen, visualise doing “Copy - Paste” to your own body, so you’re going to want to kind of imagine you’re in the control room by the Ze’al whitescreen and then copy-pasting it down through a few stories in the building that is your body, to enter the new information on your existing body in that location.
This uses methods from shamanic healing, and Joe Vitale’s book The Key (highly recommended btw) and also the association of Raphael with information and healing.
I’ve used variations on this with success, the energy pattern to keep making these dysfunctional pouches is coming from somewhere (is a cause of the effect) so this attempts to install a new cause without all that murky white-light focus on what YOU need to change, emotions, etc., because honestly sometimes once one of these symptoms gets rolling it becomes its own force and trying to fix something that was done years ago is literally closing the stable door after the horse has bolted.
Edit to add: what I’m sharing above is stripped down method, and may seem overly simplistic - in fact imagine spending £150 - £250 for a (non-residential) weekend training held in a nice big house or meeting hall, maybe booking a B&B for 2 nights as well, you’re with anywhere from 15 - 40 other people at all stages of abilitiies, you have a workshop leader and their assistant, and the day starts at 10am and usually finishes around 4, 5, or 6pm. Yoy take notes and go slow as people ask questions or need to have things explained yourself, and you work with a partner so you both get to practice and experience how energy healing works.
Add on time spent practicing at home on yourself, then other people, pets, add on time spent reading Vitale’s book and integrating the two, add on moving to work with angels and grok Raphael’s association with BOTH information AND healing… I’m giving in very simple form the sum of several years work and time spent learning, so don’t let the simplicity of the recipe, alone, become misleading. 
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Sorry you’re going through this. I’m in a similar situation with my health and found this link today that may help you find some natural relief instead of the diet and antibiotic treatments.
https://www.gutsense.org/gutsense/diverticular.html
Good luck and be well.
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This is a copy past article you’ve written @Lady_Eva!! In fact I have taken care of some of my issues through motivationaldoc on youtube, my neck feels a lot better now. He shows you how to tap on the back of your neck to release tension and anxiety and reset your mood through chemicals released by the brain from the tapping. Extraodinary!! The shamanic stuff is great too, I go to AstroShaman and sometimes participate in the shamanic healing calls, yes directly connecting for this healing or cleansing process via direct call seminar type thing. Either web call or phone etc…
Thanks for directing me to what you wrote here. You’re a gem!! 
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Back again. Based on what I saw this time, @Lady_Eva is on the right track. A healing meditation called Inner Smile where you smile into each of your organs in turn and thank them for their work is good too and nice and quick so you can do it daily or while waiting at the doctors or something.
TL;DR version, the blobbies as I’m calling them seems to be your own thoughtforms - they’re coming from your own head, I watched them do it, and that’s where all the new ones came from. They’ve all been removed again and the lot are burned (Azazel did that). I could sense no curses, and the room was very clean. You’re on your way, but you’re in your own way, your self-manifestation is weakened and you’re being blown with the currents instead of riding them. From what you said you’re working on that though?
Trying to keep it short, the non-story, version:
- Many who showed and could have helped more, but didn’t have the conscious permission to go further, or are done for now in their specializations. Raphael is waiting for a verbal affirmation that it has permission to work with you.
- Many were working on the root causes not the physical issue at all. Some of the damage is being maintained by inner feelings and thoughts, and they wanted to influence you with more affirmative ideas. Especially that you are no longer influenced by your past unless you choose it - there isn’t energy feeding in externally, put it that way.
- Your attention to your sense of entitlement and will is way too weak, in a way that had become unhealthily imbalanced. Are you quick to let others take your place?.. they make a decisions, and if it clashes sometimes you just let yours go and evaporate rather than deal with the conflict? That’s not serving you well. They don’t need it more than you, and they need to learn to make space and stop stepping on others. It’s manifests as having a smaller head on energetic levels, which reduces your ability to self-create as a sovereign being. This also affects 2, well all of it really.
- The two at the foot and one at your side - they’re not doing anything now. I’d assumed they were helping, but only in the sense of doing what they were there for, which might have not been for your best interests - I think the other arrivals deal with that part. What’s left are shells. The hooded guy had stepped back and become a mere dry skeleton wearing it’s robe. I touched it’s shoulder and it crumbled, I gave the remains to Gaia. The two at the foot aren’t sovereign, they’re thoughtforms that are images of their owners. One at your right foot is reptilian, might be related to Sekhment but isn’t Sekhment, and and was able to talk to me, he said you’re the one who won’t let them go. They have a contract that you have to release and the energy that makes them will return to the owner. That’s not a human though. The one at your right foot can’t speak, he’s more like a cardboard cutout.
I would recommend building your self-determination as much as possible, to the point of feeling you’re being obnoxious and domineering (you won’t be, it’ll just feel like it because of the imbalance). Maybe work with an entity that can share it’s energy to build that side of things. Building your dominance in physical reality would help balance your energy on the subtle levels. Any kind of submission or sublimation of your will to other humans could resonate with this by feeding into a vicious circle to enhance the imbalance, and thereby inhibit your ability to impose your will towards your healing. No running away from any fights, no putting yourself 2nd for a few months - someone starts something you finish it, decisively.
How many were there?
On the first visit, 15-20. Some I could feel more than see, they were are different levels of transparency. On the 2nd, lets see, me, Azazel (I’m working with him and asked him to advise me), the three husks, and a few sort of afterthoughts - all humans who’d been and left their thoughts with you. Maybe they’d done what I do - go somewhere and fall asleep not really focusing on pulling all of themselves back to center. Didn’t seem to cause any harm, but I raised my voice and thanked them and told them they could go back to where they came from, and all but two did - a slice of Darron and another so faint it may just fade on it’s own.
Bunny Foo Foo?
Darron/Darrel’s afterthought was there and couldn’t speak but grinned sheepishly when asked if he was Bunny Foo Foo - not sure but I think that was a yes, and then I got a more furry animal energy from him. And pink. Could be my imagination based on the name, but I’m really discordant with the colour pink: I don’t see it on purpose if I can help it.
What’s a Dan Tian?
So the chakra and Kundalini system is Indian energy working, Qigong energy centers and meridians are the Chinese equivalent, pretty much. Some of the chakras and energy points are the same thing, some aren’t. Kundalini is replaced by running the Microcosmic Orbit, and separately connecting the crown and perineum to cosmos and Earth - it’s viewed as less intense that way and safer for people learning. In qigong, three of the energy centers, the Upper, Middle and Lower Dan Tians are energy centers that are also storage for qi, and the thought is, you want those to be full for them to operate to the best of their abilities, and about the same height and smooth. Lower Dan Tian is located about 2-3 finger widths below the navel and maybe two inches in. Middle Dan Tian is as near as dammit the same thing as the Heart chakra, similarly Upper Dan Tian is the Third Eye.
About Contracts:
Rescind ALL of them, just, the time for them has gone, a lot like karma, and many should never have been made - they’re used a lot by the false light to trap you, especially from leaving this planet where their puppeteer has influence. To see more about it, it’s a technique I learned from Cameron Day’s work with the Archons. I don’t hold by everything he comes up with, but his free meditations at ascensionhelp.com for getting rid of self-limiting beliefs that are connected to spiritual agreements to play silly buggers is pretty good. (His bit on love bites is good too, and I suspect would also nullify love spells on oneself, but that’s another story.)
They can include contracts to play weak roles, contracts to be poor, contracts to be sick - blanket remove them all. Say or chant something like this until you feel it taking hold - good practice for your will too:
I rescind and make null and void ALL contracts, all limiting agreements, all impingement on my sovereignty, past and present. I revoke and destroy all copies, backups and reinstatement clauses.
Cameron Day’s version is wordier and sounds better, but that’s the gist.
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It took me a while to read this. Although I was up and about I wasn’t up and about long each time, and that is one mighty post! I’ll be talking to everyone in general when I get to the bottom of this thread: more efficient that way. :-p
Thank you for the link! Every little bit of research helps.
Yes, she said pretty much a lot that I already do. Generality coming.
First of all I actually know where some of my problem comes from - taking spirituality out of it. I’ve had trouble with my gut since I was very very small. I’m one of the first survivors of Reye’s Syndrome as a matter of fact - the story involves one of the glowing types of angels but I won’t bore you with that.
So on that, I most certainly do NOT feel like I deserve it. I’ve been struggling with it my whole life. I have been working on healing. Which I have made progress… but it’s been slow progress. That is mostly in part to having to work as much as 18 hour days to help make ends meet. I have worked very very hard - which I say in triumph BTW because of the people who claimed I was a user, lazy, didn’t want to anything, unstable, you name it. I have had some pretty important clients in the process, and helped to put out some very interesting books. So I did love my job for the longest time. What I have to show for that is we still have our house, my daughter disowned me, and recently I was trying to retire out so I could finally do what I wanted. I mostly fell into the sick hole when I was working, though, because all of my energy was spent on this mundane thing.
Like a fool I wanted to get help from doctors, who literally only would tell me, “Drink water, lose weight.” as an answer. The more I learned about herbal medicine and self care the stronger I got, but to tell the truth it wasn’t until my current doctor realized I had allergy-related asthma and explained that to me did I finally start to make headway.
It’s slow headway. It’s only been a couple of years, but it’s vs. a lifetime of being blown off by medical professionals and basically left to die. (Or, to be fair, the medical professional would give me an inhaler and not tell me WHY… so when the inhaler didn’t work I didn’t know what to do. Communication is key!!!) So as far as I’m concerned I’ve done damn good. I’ve gotten wrinkles to fade. I have more energy, to the point I started doing outdoor things again (which I have missed). Thanks to the help of Buer, I regrew a tooth.
What I find interesting is the diverticulitis is in the region where I used to be knotted with… uh… I have no polite words for this person. They’re a devil (not a daemon) and pretty much tricked me into what he called a “feeding arrangement”. I loved him, so I agreed and we ended up all twisted into one being right in the middle. It was weird, and I had to have help getting cut apart.
To compound to that my mother sided with him, and my brother told me I was doing it to myself AFTER encouraging me into doing things with the idiot. To heal you also need an emotional support base after something like that. I had only me. It seems like I have always had only me, although there have been times I’ve had people who cared in my life. I’m not discounting that. It’s just with a lot of things, you can’t lean on people.
Which brings me to: entities standing there to hold me down and/or worms and/or the Events of Undo. Frustratingly I’m not sure I can talk about those details. They sound nutzoid, and if I hadn’t been wide awake for some of it I’d still be questioning a good many things. And to be honest on some of that datum I hold back my hand because I am still questioning which part is real and which is a lie.
Bunny Foo Foo knows. Bunny can tell you. Haven’t seen Bunny in a very very long time. I’m glad to know he’s out and about. I have missed him and the rest of the team.
(Pauses in her reply to make a quick phone call to a friend who would like to hear about Bunny’s status. Forces her to get her tush on the forum and read this thread.)
Yep, the house is curse free right now. I have to break the expectation that it will come back… and think that it CAN’T come back.
Here is the flow of how that works, though. Curse comes.; Prosperity suffers. Not just with me. With my pets. I have very sick cats right now. Because I’m sick the money dries up. I will start seeing black shadows - but will often question if I’m imagining it and not do anything. (Also, some black shadows simply aren’t bad.) People around me stop being able to think clearly, and some even get physically ill. I have watched at least one go crazy. Anyone I meet for the first time or early in the relationship suddenly decides I’m bad ™. Just like that. I open my mouth, I say hello, it’s an instant dislike… no exaggeration. Or they become afraid of my eyes. It’s always my eyes.
Break the curse and all goes back to normal. To keep the curse away I have to stay vigilant. The problem with that is when I start to concentrate on prospering or a commission… I stop being vigilant because I am one of those that gets sucked into my work.
Time after time when this thing comes we have known one thing: it’s SENT. This person tastes like smoked chocolate. Very smoky not in a tasty way. So. Someone keeps sending it, or they sent it in such a way that it established itself and regenerates like in some video game. Which is why I asked in another thread how to figure out whom. Because it’s time this stopped, and to be honest I want a name. I. Want. A. Name.
But, and this is key, even if the curse never came there are already problems. I’ve figured out this thing’s main function is to exacerbate what is already there. The healthier and more prosperous I get, usually the less it can hit and the longer it takes for me to notice. So like a hole in one’s roof I keep working on fixing the weak points. Which is what I think perhaps was going on when you said: Many were working on the root causes not the physical issue at all. Just not on my part.
Yes, Raphael has my permission. I am fond of him and his big ol’ nose. I shall have to throw things at him soon.
Yeah I’m having trouble with that one. I value humbleness. I hate divas. I am seeking a way to step up, put on a crown, and yet be quietly graceful. Oh. Oh. I just realized what Clauneck was saying yesterday. Okay then.
But also I seriously hate confrontation. If folks want the floor and I’m not the acknowledged owner of said floor I often will let them have it. Choose battles, etc.
That’s a yes and a no.
There actually are folks here who came as per an agreement. When you fight the agreement you get pain and suffering because it’s worse than a salmon trying to swim upstream. When you go with your Purpose ™ things get easier. This is how it was for me. I am comfortable with that because when I stopped fighting, things got amazing. I do mean amazing. And they’re only going to get better.
They wanna go, they can go. But note: they were hollow and empty. Rather like poppets, wouldn’t you say? Also I wasn’t surprised when you said one was reptilian. As if I’m ever going to trust the word of a rep.
It’s hailing outside. I shall have to pick this up after I do tornado watch things. Hitting send asap.
Agreed. In this case, this Sending is one of the causes. The best form of defense isn’t always attack, but in this case it fits.
I did say, if someone starts something with you, you should finish it. Decisively. Now I get why that came up.
I’d say someone definitely started something.
Big enough that baneful magik isn’t disproportionate. It seems this is too extreme not to be a deliberate enemy - even a plain ill-wishing human forgets after a while, time healing all and all. I don’t control my ill-wishes for my ex, and the worst he gets is a minor car accident… or three, but minor, it’s probably just a coincidence even and I had no effect.
I don’t think you need a name, the energy signature counts, and is less likely to lead to a scapegoat - there’s probably a false trail to one or more scapegoats. They might be expecting you, so your own obfuscation and Have you tried asking Raphael or others who it is, and how it’s done?
I think if I were you, I’d start talking to some entities and seeing who’s best to get the job done. I don’t think it can be assumed that this is a human, so entities that work just on humans are not ideal.
Sa-ahtlar “possesses the power to weaken your enemies so that they can no longer work against you in any manner” - I’d start with him to neutralize in the short term.
Dra-talon - an assassin. he attacks immediately and doesn’t stop for a second until the target is dead. It does via through madness, so it can take time. The caution is, you can’t change your mind, once he has a target it belongs to him.
Etli’osh - raises power to a degree that can perform instant workings - I’d try him to heal the leaks and scars in your joints and abdomen instantly, to reduce weaknesses.
These are in Azazel’s team, and I’m working with him so that’s why I’d gravitate to them: I like the culture of that group. I’m sure there are others in other pantheons that would work too if you have a preference. Samael I hear is very good for protection, and a bodyguard would be helpful.
Some simple sympathetic candle magic is so organic it might not be noticed, but I don’t think I’d want to stick my neck out if I was feeling vulnerable. It doesn’t do to underestimate an enemy.
“Softly softly catchee monkey.”
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Well I’m back and can’t remember where I was. Oh well!
What if your chakras swirl backwards? This is a genuine question. In either case I tend to send energy through all the chakras when I can. Guess which ones I can never find: it has to do with a certain location. :-p But it’s still better than it was. Working on it. And Winning.
I shall have to try to find time to check this out. In the meantime I use a visualization technique coupled with physical movement. I work best when some part of me is moving (dancing or typing).
Me time or at least time alone with your SO is essential to being healthy. =^-^= I get both in spades.
But I don’t feel vulnerable. OMGods imagine how this thing would hit me if I did. O_O
I use a simple white candle water bowl protection/break spell. I had it running for part of this ordeal. The hubby did things a bit more complicated, but he also likes to think in complications. Your magic is your reflection, I say.
Lately I’ve been looking around for protection spirits, but no one has felt right - well aside from the local spirits I pick up in various places. I have some gremlins - they’re good for computer stuff especially - and a fuzzy cutie that I have no idea where it came from. Couple of other things…
I noticed the house didn’t have it’s walls up anymore. They’re down for some reason. I need to redo that. And then re-explore this area again.
Oh, it feels very human to me. I have a particular set of (rusty) skills, let’s just say. They’re nothing to boast about. But if you feel human to me, you probably are no matter how much you tell yourself what an elf your past life makes you.
But I can’t say it feels familiar. Which doesn’t mean anything, really.
Oh yes, I know about that as well. But there’s a way to read past that. It’s hard but there’s a way. That’s where “smell” comes in.
And I want a name so I can 1. directly target 2. know when the sob falls and 3. know when the sob falls. and 4. know when the sob falls. 
And trust me: some of these names I know if they came up - you would know they weren’t scapegoats. So in the information seek that needs to happen first.
Actually interestingly enough the properties in garlic, allicin, quickly deteriorate after 10 minutes of use but otherwise it has amazing properties.
Cooking it does break it down and crushing is ideal if consumed in a short period.
Idk if all this was addressed already but yea
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