Six weeks ago i attempted suicide. I cut my wrists and took overdose of non prescription pills. My friend found me unconscious and called first-aid. Next 4 days i spent in ICU. Since then my spiritual life has been a mess. I went to the others side and brought something back with me. I dont know who i am anymore. I cant meditate anymore becous my thoughts go strait to killing someone or my self. I’m scared for everything for no reason. Constant need of pain. I need help and quick. Im gonna lose my mind if this wont stop.
Sorry for bad english
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You need to hit the mundane and see a doctor first thing.
You are already unstable so that makes you an easy target but stabilizing yourself is key.
Doctors are not always the enemy, get that going and then work on the spiritual.
I see no reason why Michael, Raphael, or Marbas wouldn’t help you but a doctor first and asap this is coming from someone who suffers from depression and has had to seek a doctor’s help for a while.
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Sorry to read that, it must add more problems to what’s already a very difficult time and I hope people on here can give you some supportive ideas and help.
I agree about Raphael, you may find this very simple method helpful: Raphael mantra - success story.
By the way, we have a rule asking new members to do an intro, so please click here and reply to that post, to tell us a little about yourself, it will also help people reply more usefully. 
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At the moment i am in psychiatric department. I came here becous i was afraid that i would try to kill myself again. So im not in danger. Now i’m only afraid of the spiritual life. Something is very wrong.
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Raphael
Marbas
Call one or all of these guys, they can help. You only need these sigils.
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hum… try to avoid spirits for a while. Your chakras seem imbalanced at your root, throat, and brow… try chanting Hreem, Hoom, shreem…108 times each… also envision a white/gold light coming from the sky down into your body and healing imbalances as you do the mantras… if visualizing is too hard… just chant and feel it working on you.
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Thank you. I have been dreaming about this sentence or spell. “Zazaz zazas nasatanada zazaz”. Its everywhere in my dreams. Last night i was in locked room and the sentence was written on the walls. Have you ever heard about this? Can zazas be name or something?
I suggest that you focus on your healing process and completely forget any direct spiritual contact. Completely ignore that now. You can use Angelic help for guidance, support etc but not by direct communication in meditation or evocation or anything of that kind.
Your spirit is not strong enough for this kind of work. And it may cause more harm if you start opening yourself to the spiritual realm without enough power and mental-emotional balance.
Try reaching for Angelic support by mantra, prayers until you have enough power to meditate again. I don’t recommend any spiritual work beyond that. Take a break and focus on healing yourself. Whatever is there… it’s probably a reflection of your current weakness. When you start getting stronger, it will start to disappear.
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Just hold onto the phrase for now. It seems to be an enn or mantra but I don’t know for who.
I don’t think you should try to contact any nameless Spirit right now.
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I’m trying to focus my healing and leave spiritual world for moment but it wont let me. Usually i face my fears but now i know i cant handle it. First i need to know what i am against to.
Yes…AZHI-DAHAKA…when chanting his name… it’s ah-zahzahzah daka azhi dahaka… it’s a middle eastern god… I wouldn’t advise to chant that dream… when possessing people he changing things about them… he’s known as the three-headed dragon who is hell-bent on destroying the world.
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This is why I gave you only those three Spirits; I don’t think contacting anymore would be good.
Just using their enns as mantras or prayers should be helpful to start. I don’t have them right now but they should be on the forum if you search.
Take it slow at first and, of course, follow doctor’s instructions for now too.
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Thanks
I let you know if that works.
Mantras made me feel protected and motivated. This is good start.
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Other than a possible enn or mantra… That phrase can also mean: “Notice the sensation of the sensation” or “I’m afraid you can see it for a moment”.
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Aleister crowley was trying to summon Choronzon “dweller of the abyss”
“Zazas Zazas Nasatanada Zazas” was the opening line in the ritual.
Some say those words are literally to open the gates of hell.
Why i am dreaming about this? =D
You need to meditate, balance yourself internally, regain strength from within. Focus on this. Be still.
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Let me look into this. I can feel something standing over you…it feels solid and connected
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