I understand this completely man. A few years back I had a similar event occur in my life and everything that I loved (or at least I ‘thought’ I loved) came crashing down and my life unravelled at a terrifying pace. Couldn’t tell anyone about it, cut myself pretty bad, started doing some unproductive things and the whole thing lasted for close to 2 years.
At that time I hated all of it, I was like “Why did this have to happen now?” and wallowed in self-pity and self hatred. Suicide was a very real option and it sucked.
But it was during those moments that I understood more of myself and made some personal breakthroughs. For a lack of a better word, I had to die and be reborn. The ‘old’ self was crushed because that wasn’t really me. The ego freaked the fuck out, but if you ease into it, you realise things about yourself that are pretty amazing.
It sucks man and I’m not going to say, “It will be all ok tomorrow honey” but just like in those myths, how much can you endure and push through?
One thing you should definitely do is energy cleansing as mentioned by others here. When I was stuck in that rut, I had attracted some nasty low vibrational shit and that made my life even worse until it was removed last year. Hold on man. You are never out of the fight.
