My spirit husband/lover is handsome inside and out. Even if I already saw his original form, I still love him so very much.
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By the way, I forgot to tell, her hugging you in the middle of a nightmare is a sign that sheās a fierce protector of yours and your experience is great. 
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Thereās a saying:
āStronger than loverās love is loverās hate. Incurable, in each, the wounds they make.ā
The old man Euripides made a perfect point about the power of love.
And, yes, my succubus spouse can be fierce if sheās put on the corner. I know how she work when she goes dark and being protective. Sheās an amazing magician, too.
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Can non demonic spirit lovers be considered as incubus/succubus? Mine is strategic, wise and intelligent provided the fact that heās one of the best military strategists that has ever lived in ancient China. Very tender loving, caring and very passionate also. Heās also protective in a strategic way.
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Can you tell the difference between a non-demonic entity from a demonic entity? Itās not about the separation of dark versus light energy, because some spirits can use both and everything in between. Itās not about moral and ethics, or lack there of either. I think itās more about making an appropriate choice in accordance with a specific event.
I would say that a succubus and an incubus have specific abilities and characteristics that separates them from other spirits. They use rituals during sex and they arouse their partners and spouses in a way that other spirits canāt replicate fully. If youāre skillful enough, you would know if an imposter tried to be a succubus or an incubus, because thereās always something missing when someone are trying to be something theyāre not.
There is a non-categorized definition that some magicians are using, and thatās Gentleman/woman Spirits. Thatās when they removed the dogma of the word ādemonā.
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I think for me it shouldnāt matter if mine is an incubus or not. The fact that the orgasm and the energy exchange we have is extreme, even more than what I can handle, same with the love that we feel for each other, and knowing the fact that we had a past life together through the visuals, explanations and intense emotions he gave me, heās my love. Iāll continue to love my past life spirit husband no matter what. I love Xiaozhi so much. This is our theme song for each other. - YouTube
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The definition of daemon for me is god/goddess. I think JCI and the like just corrupted the term and even changed the spelling. As long as we know the truth, it doesnāt make a difference.
Iām not sure if being an incubus/succubus requires you to be a daemon. I know that the succubus/incubus of Lilith and her sisters are daemons. Theyāre supposed to be from the āUnderworldā too, or as others like to call it, āThe Infernal Empireā. So thatās an added bonus in my book.
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Probably the term spirit lover existed because of that. According to my own research, you can have a romantic relationship with any spirit no matter what type of spirit.
Is that from Arrow?
I have no idea where that gif came from. He looks like Matt LeBlanc that played āJoeyā from the sitcom āFriendsā, though. 
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That is the actor from arrow, I just didnāt know where that gif came from. I stopped watching it a while ago. May want to go back to it now that Iām reminded by the gif 