Beyond Possibility- Ryce's Journal

Journals, Group Rituals & Free Readings
72

So I do my best to practice Astral Projection/OBE/Soul Travel daily. My progress has been slow, so so slow, and most of the time I don’t even ‘launch’. Half of the time I do manage to get out of my body, I only go as far as my room and then bam, I am back in my body. Needless to say I have a lot of practicing to do, but everyone has room to grow. It is just something that I have been working at steadily for a few years now. I fail more often than not xD but I don’t give up trying. I know my ‘‘gifts’’ lay in other areas, I just want to be a well-rounded BA magician that can do a bit of everything.

I just had an experience, in my practice, where I was able to successfully get out of my body. Crawl to the edge of my bed, roll out onto the floor, and go through my bedroom wall. Though once I was outside, I realized that I was 6 stories up in the air. I felt sick, like vertigo, dizzy, and wanting to throw up. Like I usually do when I look down from high places in real life. Even though I was outside my physical body, I was still having a physical reaction to stimuli within the realm.

This is very different from a dream. For one, I felt it. It was more real than a dream. Next, I had a dream where I was falling last night. In my dreams I never have that kind of reaction. In my dreams I am fearless. In fact, in the dream last night I was running from some monsters (idk what they were) and I willingly, without hesitation jumped instead of being eaten. Rather go out on my own terms, I guess.

I find it interesting and reassuring that even though you are mentally projecting yourself to another space, your conditions of being human are so hard wired into your brain that you can’t help but feel something.

The whole experience took about 30-45 mins to induce and experience.

Another thing to note:

Before I projected, I was helped along. I heard a voice, and it told me to visualize some objects and tell me to remember to breathe. After I got my breathing under control it started to list things like ‘Balloons’ , ‘Birds’, ‘Lightning’, ‘Three Craters on the Side of your Bed’, going faster and faster until I was able to roll out of my body. Idk how the imagery helped, or if it was to help, but it surely got my attention. I was not listening to a guided meditation. I only had my white noise machine on to help drown out the sounds of traffic.

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Hmm… The 72 Angels of Shem listed 1-72 follow a color pattern based on their ruling planet. 2x Red - 2x Yellow - 2x Green - 2x Orange - 2x Violet/Purple - 2x Black - 2x Blue

However the 72 corresponding demons (according to Rudd) don’t follow such a clean color pattern.

I was making myself a list (cheat sheet ftw) to go through for a modified Shem operation, Invoking the Angels and the Demons and happened to notice this.

If someone more well versed in these things knows ‘why’ it would be a nifty tidbit to know.

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Another random stray thought.

RE- ‘Physical Transformation’ of the Body

With the Etheric and Astral doubles being so malleable and prone to manipulation based on the will of the practitioner why don’t the werewolf (or other) aspirant focus on changing their double form? Then, after the transformation, learn to project that form and energy to such a degree that they do become visible on the physical plane? This will take some practice, but will give the practitioner something concrete to work towards and a method of how to do it.

There are tons of stories of people manifesting their doubles on earth. Some even do it without thinking or knowing about it.

It just seems like it would be the easier route to take for the magician who wishes to shapeshift (and not just mentally project themselves into say… a wolf or bird or something to experience what it is like to be the animal).

This is all just conjecture and idle musing as I grow more skilled in mental projection.

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This month I am delving deeper into more traditional (and basic) rituals. My goal is to do them every day and build up a nice ritual space (in a new location), in preparation for the Shem Operation.

Adding to my daily rituals are:

Qabalistic Cross, LBRP, LBRH, LVX, LIRP, LIRH

Taken from ‘The Golden Dawn’ by Israel Regardie

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So far my experiences with the rituals are interesting. I can def. see how they can be used to significantly raise power and clear an area. Not only that, but being able to just bring into balance elemental and planetary energies is a bonus.

Here is my current regime:

Qabalistic Cross
Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram
Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Hexagram
Analysis of the Keyword
Lesser Invoking Ritual of the Pentagram
Lesser Invoking Ritual of the Hexagram
Analysis of the Keyword
Then I do a little qi gong session
Close with the Qabalistic Cross once more.

These rituals are helping me learn about ‘vibrating’ and intoning mantra and words of power. It is something that I haven’t experimented with extensively, and doing it every single day like I am, I am noticing that when I vibrate the word that my whole body has a reaction. I feel the vibration throughout my entire form. Even extended out from me, I can feel it vibrating through the air and charging the area around me, if that makes sense.

When I get to the part where I do a little qi gong session, I feel almost like my limbs are floating effortlessly. They are tingling so much with the power, not only within, but without (in the room) that its just ‘easy’ and things flow.

I am hoping to get the rituals down pat this month, and then try to do them ‘in vision’ while meditating in October. Then on Halloween I want to try to do the Shem Operation, with the goetic demons as well. That is 144 invocations.

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So I just got done with the modified Shem Operation, calling upon both the angels and the demons.

My process was to banish first, then invoke, using the respective pentagram rituals. Beforehand I listed the angels and demons in their respective directions and colors, and matched them to the colors of the angels of the pentagram rituals. Odd colors unrepresented in the pentagram rituals were assigned to their respective direction.

There were a few cases where I had to make the decision of A over B, but I feel like, since I plan on doing this operation again and again that I can experiment with ‘directions’ and see what -feels- more potent to me. Such as the color Orange, associated with Mercury, I put in North with Gabriel which is ‘green’. Idk I might have went about it ‘wrong’ but I tried my best, and I am always learning something new.

After I did the banishing and invoking rituals of the pentagram, I simple invoked the powers down the list, doing my best to visualize them rising to the call. Now most of the time I did not have a clear picture of the demon/angel I was calling in. Instead, I knew the call was answered when the ‘color’ of the direction I was invoking in within my mind shined a bit lighter. Most of the spirits had a tangible energy and presence that they brought to the circle, which was also a tip off that the call had been heard.

When I was finished with the invocation there was a strong ‘magnetic pressure’ all around me. I felt the presences of all the angels and all the demons around me. I then asked them to lend me their powers, saw them reaching out and towards me, and when the spirit touched my body, I saw them assimilate into me. As each one joined with me, I felt the magnetic pressure that was around me, move inside me and settle into my core. The more that joined, the fuller the ‘core’ got, and it started to radiate through my body, filling my chest first, head, arms and legs, until I was just that ‘pressure’. That invisible force.

As I said in my previous journals, I don’t channel demons -that often-. I did not get any inspired words or anything like that, but I do feel like I have been given a piece of something. A seed. Something to nurture and grow, something to reinforce and further assimilate. Which leads me to thinking, maybe I should do it again. Not because it did not work, but simply because it did. I wouldn’t redo the ritual out of doubt that I didnt get the powers of the forces I called upon, but simply to reaffirm and absorb more of it. In my experience, solidifying the energetic connections will help ‘it’ grow, and for me to come to terms and process, experience more, of what the operation has to offer.

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Small update. The order of my daily practices have changed. It is now as follows:

QC - Qabalistic Cross
LBRP - Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram
LBRH - Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Hexagram
LIRP - Lesser Invoking Ritual of the Pentagram
LIRH - Lesser Invoking Ritual of the Hexagram
LVX - Analysis of the Keyword
MP - The Middle Pillar
Qi Gong - Zhan Zhuang & Ba Daun Jin
QC - Qabalistic Cross

I have begun to play around with different ‘style’ of pentagrams. IE Earth Banishing vs Fire Banishing. Maybe I am not sensitive enough, but I can’t tell one way or the other if the direction really matters. I think its all intent based anyway. I also don’t visualize the astrological symbols or names of god or anything like that within the pentagrams.

The vibrating of words and projecting of power has gotten more pronounce. I have got to a point where I can vibrate a word and feel it where its ‘supposed to be’. Again I am not sure if this is just hyper suggestion or real progress. But I am feeling more confident in my abilities. I actually am starting to feel like a ‘real wizard’ xD

Also toying around with alternating the Tree of Life Sephirot from the Middle Pillar and seeing what is like with the Qliphothic Spheres.

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I love glasya labolas

But I didn’t get such statue so I took photo of glasya labolas pathworking artwork shown in vk jehannum website.

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You don’t need a statue. The most important thing a magician can train is his mind and to secure the development of the magical imagination.

Good luck with your pathworking.

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Lately I have been doing my part of ‘taking fire from heaven’. I have been doing that modified shem operation with the goetia spirits and their corresponding angels weekly. I will admit, when my hours got cut from work, I did falter and did not do the operation that week and got pretty lax with my daily practice as well. Basically regressed back to only qi gong, and the bare minimum practice at that xD

However, last week I decided that I had a long enough pity party for myself and rolled up my sleeves… Did the banishing and invoking and the operation. Basking and taking in the powers of the 144 spirits I summoned around me… At the very end I was inspired to see the 144 orbiting around me like satellites around Earth and then they all rushed forward and into me, filling my being with their energy. For a moment I felt ‘free’. Then after the practice, I actually felt better. Better than I have felt in a while. My mood, which has been down, was lifted. I did not feel heavy or weighed down by my more mundane concerns.

Upon realizing this, a part of me wondered why did I stop to begin with?

Besides the abundance of time I now have thanks to the Rona, I think a lot of practitioners get caught up feeling. The rituals lose their luster, their newness, that feeling of awesome power when you preform them. They themselves become mundane. Old hat. Maybe the visualizations are ‘too easy’. For me, I think it was the former: I was used to feeling the buzz and high of ritual. When the energy did not flow as aggressively as it did before, I kind of felt like… maybe I am doing it wrong after all?

I failed to realize that its a good thing that the waters calmed down. The rituals I was doing were not having so much an effect because the energy they were being used to sort, was already, for the most part, sorted. I was to the point where it was just the daily upkeep, instead of the spring cleaning.

So after a break, when I was down and feeling like crap, wallowing in my own self pity there was a lot of yucky psychic buildup of just junk. So when I decided enough was enough and did the rituals again with revitalized purpose, I felt the energy shift again and was affirmed of their power. It also made me realize the above.

Why it is so important, and how daily ritual can really help clear your head and allow you to move forward not only spiritually but with your own life.

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82

Warning- A rambling post about cancer.

I don’t post much about my more personal workings, but I have been feeling introspective lately.

For the last few months, since I found out my Uncle has cancer, I have been invoking Raphael into his aura and seeing that he is cancer free. Well, last month, I was told that his cancer is worse than they had thought and that it has spread far too much and he doesn’t have too long to live. The type of cancer he has is usually a death sentence anyway, since it is hard to detect until it is too late to do something about it. Particularly nasty kind.

So I doubled down on my ritual work for him all throughout December. Actually broke out the candles, spent a half an hour each day directing my own energy towards him and working on his energetic body, trying to get things to flow right. It is hard when you are working on an old man, nearly 63, and he is thousands of miles away half a country away. I’d top it all off with working with Raphael again, invoking the angel directly to him.

This uncle was also the ‘rich piece of shit’ that, just a few years ago, I would have celebrated his death. Now, under these circumstances, I find myself actively working to heal him. It is amazing how a bit of time, introspection, and thinking about the effect his death would have on the family changes your opinion a bit. It may be me just getting older, and finding the past doesn’t matter as much to me as the future, but I blame magic for this as well. As you work on yourself, hone your craft, you really do begin to change emotionally, psychologically, energetically.

It has been this shift that allowed me to have more faith in myself and my abilities, to step out into territory that I would be uncomfortable in, and just give it a go. Which is a huge step for a big ball of anxiety that is Ryce. It has allowed me to come to terms with my emotions, to settle the storm in my own soul. Not that I do not feel strongly about things, I am able to feel more… objectively? To work past my own hang ups for what I believe to be right.

I am not enlightened. I still get depressed, and I still lack motivation some days, but that is all part of the deal, of being human and working to become more. I still feel. I just feel differently.

I don’t want my family to suffer, despite the transgressions and rocky past that we have had.

That is the conclusion that I have come to, right now.

And so I work for their benefit.

My mom won’t lose her big brother if I have anything to say about it.

Just yesterday I got news that the cancer is receding, showing less and less in the tests. He is on medication and going to ‘the best’ cancer hospital in Texas. It went from you are going to die in a few months, to lets wait and see.

I am hopeful, and it is gratifying to see months worth of effort and will taking shape. I was really starting to doubt in December. Which is why I changed my approach from spirit work to more directly influencing the energy body myself. I have more confidence in my abilities as a sorcerer, than I do with assigning spirits to a task xD though I blame that on my lack of real ‘practice’ and deep spirit work, unlike what I have with my own body.

I do not want to take credit for modern medicine and the treatments he is going through. I am just glad that my power can help supplement his journey and we can see results together. I did not tell my family I am doing this for them. They are better off not knowing, as I do not want their own thoughts about my work to influence the magic in general. Its part of the reason why I am so closed lipped about things I am doing, until they are done.

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RE: Uncles Cancer

So, I got some really good news.

Yesterday my Uncle went in for surgery so doctors could further access the situation and see if they could do anything for him. The main problem was, the mass was attached to an artery and surrounding veins making it really hard to get to, and they were not sure that they could do much of anything.

Over ten hours of waiting later, and being prepped that ‘you shouldnt hold out hope’ and seeing Uncle off who was crying thinking he was going to die, he comes out of surgery and the doctors were able to cut the whole thing out. When they got in there the size of the mass shrunk and was way smaller and more manageable than they thought. A real miracle.

Chemo and magick won out this time.

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magic is stronger than cancer :sunglasses:

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That could lead to a dangerous train of thought.

But I poured SO much time and effort into helping my Uncle, I am glad that it could actually help and have some physical impact on his life. Nearly an hour of working on him every. single. day. From the day we found out he had it, up till the day of the operation, where then I even connected with him while he was under in an attempt to make sure that it was going to be gone.

Stupidly enough, it has been ‘my biggest magical undertaking’ to date: taking over 150 hours of my time.

Even then. Yesterday, I still had creeping doubt in the back of my mind.

It has given me a lot to think about. Especially about what you said. I don’t want to set a precedent or claim full credit, but magic can do truly wonderful things. Whereas I have had my success, there have been a lot of magicians with similar situations who have failed :frowning: Though I guess that can be said about nearly all branches of magic, not just healing.

I am glad that I was able to support him and his health with my work, but also relieved that he was able to get into one of the best cancer hospitals in the US (you bet I greased those wheels with intent too, because they only accept patients via application RIP).

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you’re right on one thing, it might lead to a dangerous line of thinking. oversaturation in ideas of grandeur ends up loosening the grain that holds it together. Live harder, and see what I mean. The counter is always confidence, the grain of that magick. it only takes a moment to seal a reality away.

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Very true. There is a balancing act, I believe, just like you mentioned.

I am overly cautious though, and it has been that side of me that has been holding my own true power back for quite some time.

We all have our shit to work through though. Confidence is a big one for me especially. Growing up as I did, I fight against negative programming all the time. Against constantly apologizing and feeling ‘worthless’. I still do it, every time I make a mistake.

Anyway xD I am getting off track.

Thank you for your words. I don’t mean to dismiss your support, and I appreciate it. I just am being the careful person that I am, and don’t want to feed anybody’s ideas of grandeur about magic (I’ve been bad about that in the past).

It took a lot of work that wasn’t even talked about on here xD

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You’re apologizing again. For you, not for me, I say this.

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Small Update:

I’ve been told by my aunt, and seeing my Uncle’s progress, Dr.'s are stunned at how fast he is healing and recovering. Of course they think its a ‘work of God’ and I am not one to correct them. I don’t care if I get credit in their eyes, and them not knowing what I have been doing is probably for the best. I don’t want them overthinking my involvement as that can get tedious. They are very superstitious (not that I am not, but in a different way xD).

I’ve been told that I heal quite fast myself, and being able to stimulate that within others is quite amazing. Especially considering he is over 60 years old and so surgery itself is high risk. This is one of the first times I have had such confirmation of my abilities from an outside, unknowing source for something so immensely serious (and the first time I have centered healing magic extensively on somebody other than myself).

Doing all these small rituals and meditations for my Uncle has helped keep myself consistent with my own practices. I am literally doing some form of magic every single day beyond meditations and my banishing ritual routines. It’s helped me past my own issues when I have been stressing about money or some other mundane thing.

I have been working with my subconscious mind, trying to get it to better absorb my will and to be able to do more ‘absurd’ things like Telekinesis (I have not given up T.T). Hopefully this working can open me up to even greater possibilities as I get closer and closer to accepting the fact (subconsciously) that I can effect reality to a greater extent than just pushing thoughts and emotions into people, etc. The subtle low magic that I have been doing all these years.

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With my family out of immediate trouble with sickness and whatnot I found myself able to focus more entirely on other goals, such as moving that damn pinwheel xD

While I have not moved it yet, I think I had a breakthrough in thought about connecting more deeply with objects in general. It is easy to say just connect with it, flow your energy towards it, sort of ‘infect it’ brute force way of forming connections and ties with objects. See your spirit, your consciousness, fill up the object and try to ‘be’ it… This has gotten me far in manipulating people and overpowering their will with my own, but I have not made any progress with imposing my will onto objects (seemingly!).

I was meditating today and I had a sort of realization. What if… I have this backwards? So I tried the reverse. Instead of moving my consciousness onto the object, I gradually experimented with the thought of the pinwheel I am trying to connect with. I saw it in my mind, and instead of reaching out for it mentally grasping at it, I instead began to wonder about the object.

Whats it like being a pinwheel?
How does it feel to be balanced on that tack like that?
Its at rest, what does that feel like?
How does spinning feel?
What does the paper feel like?
How would I feel if I was green like the wheel?
What does green feel like?
Being within that glass dome, whats it like?

I was filled with this curiosity about the experience of being the object. Each question prompting more to pop in my head and me to imagine ‘whats that like’. The more detailed it got, the more complex the questions got, the more I felt my own mind slow down. The less I was ‘imagining’ the answer, and the more I was just ‘experiencing’ the answer to the questions through the POV of the pinwheel.

It was truly odd. And in a blink of an eye 20ish minutes passed.

These questions, being curious about the subject, and gradually sinking deeper and deeper into meditation allowed me to experience what ‘its like’ without brute forcing an energetic connection.

I think this is the deepest I have ever ‘felt’ an object before.

I have a ton more work and experimentation to do, but I do feel like I am making progress and am on the right path.

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So my practices continue as regularly as I can manage. I don’t beat myself up if I miss a day now, but have become calmer. I have found that without the ‘stress’ of ‘ya gotta do it every single day’ I get better results because I do not because I have to but because it is something I enjoy and has become routine. My personality is shifting. I am both becoming more laid back and learning to stand up for myself in social situations now. I finally feel ‘worthy’. Worthy of what this world has to offer, and beyond the material to the subtler forms of existence. And so, why not? Why not me? It is so selfish to want? To use magic to gain an edge?

I don’t know.

I feel like I am coming into my own with my practice, finally.

While doing my daily exercises, constantly I am getting to the state where I can visibly see etheric energy and the power I am able to draw into the room. Feel it. Perceive it with my astral senses. Not once in a while, but every single time nowadays.

I hope that I am at the cusp of a breakthrough of some sort.

Anyway, I keep reading, studying and memorizing correspondences. I keep trying out different ways of drawing down power using the basic formulas of ritual, and sometimes without the constraint of ritual. I am getting to the point where I don’t have to the QC to feel that I can shift to the proper state to hype myself up to draw power and command my Will upon the world. Not that it was the case to begin with, but various books have stated the baby steps. I came to these rituals with some competence and experience already with manipulating currents of energy, so, maybe, naturally I am progressing faster? Maybe its a state of mind thing, where I already knew I wasn’t constrained by ritual? Continuing with energetic practices can only go up from here, right?

Anyway, I feel that I am onto something and advancing quite nicely. So I am going to continue with it and see how far I can go.

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