On a more general note, here’s what happened since yesterday:
First of all, after posting my sob story here and talking to some friends, I started to switch from suffering into “Fuck this!” mode pretty quickly. I’m pretty sure this is related to a simple ritual I did some days ago when I just gazed into the Azazel sigil, chanted his enn and asked for some guidance and a way out of my confusion. This method has worked for the second time in a row now, so I’ll count it as a success
Out of this “whatever”-feeling I sponanteously decided to chant to Sargatanas before going to bed - and it worked much more smoothly than before: I chanted his enn, got into trance without much effort, visualized some stuff regarding another girl I’m in contact with and even stated a haphazardly thrown together petition at the end. Immediately after speaking out, his sigil started to move left and right in my vision, so something has happened for sure. Not lusting for anything DOES make a huge difference!
The main problem here is that you took way to long to try getting sexual. Some men think women are like princesses who want to wait 10 dates before having sex. That’s simply not true. Most women I’ve met wanted to have sex on the first or second date, third date tops.
By falling to escalate things she started looking at you more like a friend. So now what you have to do is show her you’re a man; an attractive, confident man who can fuck her brains out. So that’s your angle, work with and without magick to change her perception about you
As I wrote somewhere above, I didn’t word that properly … we DID have sex on the first date, and it was amazing. If that wasn’t the case I would have just said “Fuck it” and moved on, but the chemistry that we had is something I just can’t ignore and give up without a fight And it’s the source of my confusion as well, I’m still pondering on how to work on this in a magickal way.
I see. To me the problem is the same, you were too present for her. You said it yourself… talking all the time, texting, etc. you gotta put son mistery on the mix, show her that you have a life and you’re not gonna sit and wait for her.
You should use magick to change her perception of you
you could use just your own power and social skills rather than tattooing her forehead with every other demon and magicians names and products…
to me it seemed that you might be nuisance to her inner mind, plus can you straighforwardly tell her that you dit this and this magick to get her on her knees, if not your are not proably worth of a woman in long run…
Hey, there @VILEARK. Please make your next post an introduction. As I previously told you, it is a rule here that you must properly introduce yourself, and I see that you still have not done so. CLICK THE IMAGE BELOW and tell us about yourself and any experience you may have in magick, such as what you practice, how long you have practiced, areas of interest, etc. Otherwise, I will be forced to silence your account until our rule is respected.
Absolutely! I tried to keep it cool while we dated, but that doesn’t really work out for me when I’ve fallen head over heels for a woman. I deliberately toned down the contact in the last two months, just enough to still stay in touch, but I guess the impression I made back then is still with her. So yes, change of perception … I guess Dantalion would be a sensible choice for that, but so far his enn and sigil didn’t really resonate with me.
Sounds to me like she got more than she bargained for. If she was looking for a hookup and you two connected like that. Well, she got herself “spooked”. And sounds like she is really scared and unsure having just left a long term relationship.
I’ve been there (well I was in “your” shoes). He thought he was gonna be all aloof and had no idea what he was getting into. Walked away and pretty much stopped talking to me. Took 18 months for him to start speaking to me again. And he contacted me.
I had to break contact 100%. I did various spells and such in the meantime but broke contact and even blocked him on FB. Three weeks after I unblocked him he contacted me. I discovered he could “see” me through a mutual niece and was getting his “fix”. I took that away and he suffered for it. In the meantime I slowly stopped caring if i heard from him again. Actually in the end I didn’t want him to message me but i needed also to see if the experiment worked. So I unblocked. And it did.
Yes, that sounds quite similar indeed … and it also supports my assumption that this will take quite some time and that I have to detach myself and stop caring for the most part in the meantime (which is happening right now, thankfully). May I ask which spells you did use and if they were successful from your point of view?
On a general note, I got a REALLY strong push towards the right direction this week: On thursday I went to a small private concert of some dark synthpop project I didn’t know beforehand, already having a strong feeling that something interesting was going to happen on this evening. During the gig, I suddenly got the urge to visualize Azazel’s sigil right into the room, which worked surprisingly well … I didn’t see it totally clear, but it got stuck to my mind for several minutes, much stronger than usual. On my way out I bought a cassette tape of said project, and once I was back home I took a closer look at the artwork, only to discover … the sigil of Azazel, plus a song called “Zazel’s Grip is tightening”. The plot thickens, I’d say …
I did use various contact me spells in different forms. But i must say I did a nightmare spell on him a week before the full moon last month.
I wanted an apology for something he did to me. He hurt me awhile back. Long story but I still havent gotten it and im over the whole thing. Honestly have no desire to talk to him anymore. Just so you know with spells as such this could very well happen to you. Its common and you dont think its possible until you reach that point. I did.
I recharged the spell jar on the full moon (well I had lit a purple candle on it 75% of the time in a matter of 10 days). Day after the first of Fall he messaged me. Was that it?? Not sure but it worked.
First of all, working with Azazel has once again given me results. I’ve made a habit of gazing at his sigil and formulating a spontaneous petition, and so far the events that followed were very similar every time: At first I am falling into a black hole for one or two days, feeling very down and depressed, after that a strong sense of what to do next arises. First time around, I suddenly changed my daily routine, got up at 6 am every day for a week (I usually work in the evenings and rarely get up before 10) and spent every free minute contemplating and feeding my mind with all kinds of teachings; second time was the “fuck it” moment where I decided to drop out of my current situation and start my dating game again; and now I feel a very strong urge to discipline my mind and get rid of all the monkey brain bullshit, which has always been a huge issue for me due to ADHD - once again this feels kinda unpleasurable, but I can also sense that it’s a necessary part of a huge shift. Long story short: Azazel has been very kind with me and I will continue working with him on a weekly basis.
I also just finished a five days series of petitioning to Sargatanas with a ritual I kinda cobbled together out of intuition:
First of all I placed three red candles on a table, with my amulet of his sigil in front of the center candle. I sat in front of this and placed my left hand on the amulet. Then I smoked a cigarette, putting my focus on the taste and sharing it with Sargatanas; after that, I put the focus on my heart chakra, sending the energy through my left hand into the amulet (this felt very intense and made me tremble every time). Then I took the amulet from the table, gazed at it for a minute or two and put it around my neck, thus ending the first part.
After placing a drawing of the sigil on the table, I practiced void meditation according to this post by @AdamThoth, which has been very effective with putting me into a trance state:
Then I gazed into the sigil, chanted the enn, visualized the desired result with strong emotion (this worked very well, making me tremble once again) and worded my petition (asking for my love interest to be enflamed with passion for me) in two short sentences - done.
I don’t expect any immediate results coming out of this, but it certainly felt “right” while practicing the ritual, so I’ll just let it go and assume that something has changed due to my workings.
My next step will be ritual 1 from Magickal Seduction, starting on thursday (new moon). I started preparing today by reading the alchemical rite that’s included out loud just to get a grip of the pronounciation, and after finishing the words I suddenly felt very energized and uplifted - I take that as a good sign for sure.
Besides that, I also create and charge sigils more or less at random, whenever I feel like it and without much consideration, sometimes aimed at my main goal, but also adressing other things where I’d like to see some change happen. This attitude came up thanks to some very valuable postings by @Norski , which I hereby recommend to absolutely everyone who (like me) is new to all this and confused on how to get into the right mindset:
So I’ve put myself throught he five days of ritual 1 from “Magickal Seduction” by Damon Brand, and it has been quite a ride … much more so than I expected.
Thursday: Starting on new moon, I managed to go through the steps rather well first time around, considering my inexperience, and I felt a strong shiver and my body heated up while calling the spirits with “Nades - Suradis - Maniner” (this actually happened during the consecutive rituals as well, every time). After finishing I felt very calm, with a strong sense that something good is going to happen in the foreseeable future.
Friday: Pretty similar, although with a bit more routine already. This was also the only time I managed to orgasm during visualizing.
Saturday: I had a few beers with a friend before doing the ritual - big mistake. I got through the steps in a somehow proper fashion, but focusing took a lot of energy and everything felt slightly off. The whole next day my mood deteriorated into depression.
Sunday & Monday: I got back on track and my growing routine helped me put even more focus into it, but I also started to feel emotionally drained and it became increasingly harder to visualize the lovemaking, there was some inner resistance building up. I managed to turn that off during the ritual itself, but it took a lot of discipline putting myself in the right mood to even get started.
Tuesday: I went to the woods at night to bury the magic circle and the scrap of paper. Afterwards I felt drained and somehow detached from the whole situation.
Since then, there’s a strong feeling of sadness and emptiness within me, but I can also sense that something has shifted profoundly. The obsessive thinking has mostly disappeared and I am now moving into accepting the current situation as it is, which I guess is why I’m feeling sad. I definitely believe that the ritual has caused change, and not only within me, but I also have a strong feeling that it wasn’t the most fitting method for my situation and that I should work on emotions and bonding instead of sexuality from now on. And I’m still kinda baffled that this has shaken me up so much, it’s more akin to what I read about the second ritual (turning attraction into love) - did anyone else have a similar experience? Also, I’m curious about interpretations of these events from more experienced practitioners - despite having my own view, it still leaves me kinda confused.
Also, is it allowed around here to crosspost this in a thread specifically about Magickal Seduction?
And it’s the source of my confusion as well, I’m still pondering on how to work on this in a magickal way.
