Best method for a rather peculiar/weird situation

Love, Sex Magick & Relationships
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Hi everyone!

This is going to be a rather long text, but I’m really at a loss here (plus I’m a total beginner with magick), so I hope someone finds the time to read this and can help me out a bit.

So last March I matched with this woman on Tinder … I actually didn’t really think we would get along well judging from how she presented herself in her profile, but she was kinda cute and in an open relationship, so I thought maybe I could get some light-hearted fun out of it. A few days later she texted me over some music recommendation in my profile and we clicked right from the first few sentences, it was just a joy writing with her.

We continued to write constantly for the next two months, and I got some hints that her relationship wasn’t in the best place (she even took a two weeks break from writing to fix things). In early May I finally asked her to meet and she said fuck it, things are falling apart anyway, so let’s do this. So she came around for some beers to my apartment, and it was almost bizarre - no initial distance, no ‘getting to know each other’ - it was like we’d know each other since forever -, just pure joy to be with her. Somewhere down the road after a few beers she said that she didn’t know if she’s gonna have sex with me because ‘We get along too well’ / ‘I like you too much’ (not sure which one it was anymore …) - but of course it got to that point anyway and it was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before (and I’m 41 and have had my share of experiences). Just kissing and embracing her felt like we were literally melting into each other, plus it was a constant, effortless flow between serious talk, joking and doing dirty stuff for hours - magickal, if you will.

The next few days I just pondered on what I got myself into, plus there was pretty much radio silence from her side - until she told me that her boyfriend of 17 years had finally decided to break up and move out. The next few weeks were madness: We had a lot of written contact, lots of deep talk and joking around, and I was constantly cheering her up and stayed calm on the outside while simultaneously trying to not lose my mind over this situation. We only had two more dates during that time, but both of them were out of this world again with all the kissing, comforting and melting into each other (even though there was no more sex).

Finally, the day when we were supposed to have our fourth date she suddenly called to tell me that she can’t do this anymore because - there’s no attraction between us … uhm, yeah. I actually expected this to not end well somehow, but that she gave me this reason fucked me up pretty badly.
After some time of suffering and getting over it I decided to try and build a friendship with her anyway because a) I thought it wasn’t such a long affair anyway and b) I really liked her a lot just as a person (getting amorously involved with her actually wasn’t my priority right until it happened, I just enjoyed her company immensely). We met for a few times after that and it went quite well, right until the moment I realized that had started dating again, which hit me like a brick in the face - and this was also the time when I started working with magick; in a way my desperate situation helped diving ínto it without hesitation.

I’ve been doing various workings since then (visualization/remote seduction, meditating and chanting on the Sargatanas sigil, creating and loading some sigils on my own) and I had some success (I wished for an unspecified beautiful woman to contact me on Tinder via a sigil and it happened almost right away), just not with her … and I’m really not sure on how to continue since the whole situation seems so weird to me (I don’t buy into the ‘no attraction’ thing, but on the other hand that’s what she told me and probably believes herself as well). My plan was to start the first ritual from Damon Brand’s Magickal Seduction tomorrow (ending it properly on full moon), but as I said, I have no idea if it even fits my situation. I also see a lot of parallels to how Twin Flame constellations are described (even though I don’t buy into the concept of split souls), especially because this whole affair has ignited huge changes in me, with the most recent taking place after we met last week for the first time in two months.

So yeah, I’m in a really dark place right now … any advice on how to continue, which methods, entities to work with would be very welcome so I can at least shed some of the confusion and find the strength to continue working.

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Sounds like its working for you, so I would continue the course.
Sitri and Amon might be helpful to you.
@Mike_Bee has wrote a couple good posts on this situation, his Evocation Guide and his 72 Challenge. @Mike_Bee, any spirits off the top of your head for romance and seduction?

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Alright so first things first, lets address some of where you went wrong. I think the main problem is that you took too long to sexually escalate. You did kiss her a few times yes, but I chalk that up to her kinda being in a rebound mode…and she used you for a bit of validation. When she told you that she wouldn’t have sex with you because “We get along too well’ / ‘I like you too much”…that was a lie/deflection. No woman doesn’t have sex with a guy because she likes him too much. That’s exactly the reason why a girl would fuck you. What it seems like to me is that because you took too long to escalate things, and because you spent too much time talking to her online…she started viewing you as a really good friend/a shoulder to cry on. This is what your conversations sound like to me as an outsider…a convo between good friends…not lovers. This is why she jumped on another dudes dick…and i bet he didn’t invest half as much time into her as you did :frowning_face:

So that’s on the mundane side of things. On the magick side of things, Sargatanas is not a bad choice. I’ve never used Damon Brand’s Magickal Seduction, but its on my wishlist. My advice is to give the ritual in damon brands book a try, as im sure it has a structured ritual in there to get you a specific target. I would use his ritual on this specific girl you are trying to target, and I would use Sargatanas in a separate ritual to continue increasing your matches on Tinder and to get you other women. You kinda need to develop a stronger abundance mentality, so that you don’t come across as too needy with the main girl you’re working on. Best way to do that is to simply date other women, and Sargatanas can help you with that, as he already seems to be doing. You shouldn’t be in a dark place mate. This girl isn’t irreplaceable. Do what you can, then let the chips fall where they may

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Thanks for your answer first of all!

No, you got that wrong (or rather, I didn’t put it clearly): We DID have sex the first time we met even though she said otherwise before … for hours actually, being naked, kissing, fucking, talking and over again. As I said, it was absolutely intense. Second date was just kissing and fumbling because she was on her period and the third time it was a public date with everything but fucking, like going for a swim naked in a lake and doing all kinds of naughty stuff there. If it was just about kissing I would fully agree with you, but then again, I wouldn’t have fallen for her that way if nothing else had ever happened, that would be quite (or rather, even more) foolish …

Working on both the ritual and Sargatanas in parallel sounds like a thing I’ll try, so thanks! Any advice for a newbie on how to contact Sargatanas? So far I’ve just gazed at his sigil and chanted his enn, very basic stuff. I also scanned the thread about him, but there’s so much stuff in there it became quite overwhelming to be honest.

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Ah gotcha. Fair enough then :+1:

Well, I would say if you’ve got his sigil and enn, thats really all you need. Gazing into his sigil and repeating his enn for a while until you fall into a light trance…then while gazing, imagine yourself dating other women (and while you do this, put feeling into it as if its happening right in that moment)…and once the feeling is exhausted, you issue your petition to Sargatanas (keep it short and be direct). That should suffice.

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Thanks a lot, that’s exactly what I was looking for! Just one more thing: Do you think petitioning to Sargatanas would be a good idea in regards to my love interest as well? Because I already did that once in written form, but in a rather haphazard way (without the enn chanting f.ex.) and my mindset wasn’t right at that moment, and now I’m not sure if I should try again.

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Ah well in that case, I’d switch things around. Instead, I’d put Sargatanas on bringing this specific girl back to you, and I’d use a ritual in damon’s book to bring you additional women. I believe his book has a spell that can make you more attractive in general to women you interact with…like a glamor. If you want as well, you can do several rituals to Sargatanas in order to get this girl back, where you basically repeat the same ritual for maybe 3 to 4 consecutive days…but make sure you decide how many days you are going to dedicate to this beforehand…and once you’ve completed the set # of days that you set out to do, that is when you must drop the result from your mind, in order to adhere to the “set it n’ forget it” mentality which is important in order to avoid Lusting for Results

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Yeah, the third ritual is much like the first one, but targeted at whoever may be close to you instead of one specific person. I’ve read though that it doesn’t work that well with online dating, but it mightt be worth a try anyway.

I’ve always wondered about the best way to repeat a ritual several times, because I often feel like I don’t quite get it the first time around, but doing it over and over again feels a bit obsessive … setting the number of repeats beforehand sounds like a perfect solution to that. :+1:

Yeah, lusting for results is a bit of a problem … not with the rituals themselves because I tend to forget about them pretty easily (the perks of having ADHD, haha), but more in regards to the general goal because I obviously have a hard time not thinking about how much I want that woman. Maybe I should consider some additional workings to tone down the obsession a bit …

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Yeah, it can be obsessive, but only when its done on impulse. If you do a ritual…then after a few days of no movement, you begin thinking “omg…nothing is happening! I’m gonna call up this spirits again again and again!”…I would classify that as obsessive. However, when you go into it with a planned number of rituals beforehand, and you spend those days exhausting your desire, then when its all said and done you leave it be completely…I would classify that as being thorough. The advantage of doing it that way is that you A) Create a cumulative effect where your emotional investment is concerned and B) Indirectly kill your lust for result by killing your desire to even think about the result. After you do the same ritual for several days in a row, what often happens (at least for me) is that I start getting annoyed with thinking about the result…because I’ve repeated it so many times. By the time my set number of rituals is over, im happy that I don’t need to conjure up those feelings about the end result anymore. Its a great mental hack imo.

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Yes, that’s what I was trying to avoid … in the end I was switching between different methods instead (sigils, petitions, visualizations, …), which is not much better I guess, but at least I got some practice out of it.

So maybe there’s no additional work on obsession necessary - awesome advice, thanks a ton!
Off to work, I guess … I’ll make sure to keep this thread updated and share my experiences and results regularly.

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No problem :love_you_gesture: I’m rooting for ya

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After my own heart break I wish you the best of luck. Maybe check out some of the things in this book.

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From a girl’s perspective, I would say it could be simply that she’s in a dark place herself. A 17 years relationship is no joke. Some people would lock themselves on their homes, cry, eat all the bad food they could find and withdraw from the world. Others (maybe this girl) would do anything to feel better… like sleeping with other guys. That includes you.

That doesn’t mean the connection you had is not real. It could well be. God, I’m thinking about some amazing guys I met while I was a mess for my first ex. Maybe I could have had an awesome relationship with some of them (and probably much better than the one I had with my ex)… I was just not there. And the fact that I was able to have deep conversations and joke and have overall amazing dates didn’t mean anything. Probably the fact that I didn’t want to continue seeing them left them puzzled. But it had NOTHING to do with them… I know is the typical excuse people give, is not you it’s me, but when is a person just coming from a serious relationship… I was just not on that place mentally or emotionally. Your girl could be in a similar situation (just being able to have sex with guys :woman_shrugging:t3:).

I would call up Dantalion too. Is an amazing spirit for beginners, extremely effective and will help you change her thoughts and feelings. You said you don’t buy the attraction thing and probably you’re right, so throwing a bunch of demons for seduction if she’s already attracted to you makes little sense for me. Making her think that you could be a good partner, or feel that she actually wants to give you a chance, or spend more time with you… that could be a first step. Then, why not, throw a bit of naughty demons and have fun!

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Thank you! It’s great to get a woman’s perspective of this, especially because it lines up a lot with how I perceive this whole situation. She’s handling this breakup comparably well (I’ve been in a very similar situation one year ago and did much worse), but of course she’s still hurting and not ready for anything besides shallow encounters / gathering experiences after that long relationship - that’s what she said herself. I even experienced this myself many years ago while being in a short relationship with a quite amazing woman after suffering through a breakup - whenever I developed some deeper feelings for her, the pain from getting out of the previous relationship came up simultaneously, leading to the point where I actually felt repelled and had to leave, even though I knew exactly that I would totally fall for her under normal circumstances.

Plus, I was right there at the center when the breakup happened (three days after our first date), so I guess she’s kinda associating me with that awful time - not the best position to be in.

That’s a very valid point, but it also gets right to the center of my confusion - because I am still very insecure whether what she told me about not being attracted is true or not, even though many people already told me to trust my own perception more than her words. So I’m kinda jumping between those two paths (seduction vs. comfort) in my mind without coming to a conclusion, which I guess is not the proper mindset to start working.

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Thanks! Ordered it right away, I’ll share my impressions once I’ve worked my way through.

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I agree, having worked with him (not on love issues) I will vouch for him. He’s very powerful and very very capable. He works at the emotional level for thought change so you could benefit from his help.

If you build a rapport with him, he will help you even when you may not ask.

100% recommended

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Which method of evocation/connection you use to work and build relationship with the Duke?

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Same I do for all: I got to a more or less relaxed state with The Stillness from Angels of Wrath. Then I use the sensory keys and alchemy from DoM, and the keys for Dantalion from the same book. I create the sigil and imbue energy on it during the creation, and then stare at it and connect. On my first evokation (was with Dantalion) I didn’t do the stillness nor the keys, and it went perfectly, he delivered in minutes.

I honestly don’t think the exact method is the most important thing. You have to have the will to connect, and to assume that you did:)

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Sir, You’re living your best life, why burden your life chasing the complicated one?

For angel i suggest Lovel ( target spell ).

To bring you a new love Goddess Inanna, Belphegor and Rosier.

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Oh, I dated that Tinder girl already (as well as several other women since this whole affair started), but it all feels a bit stale when your mind is with someone else … plus she’s a bit complicated as well, because of course she is, hahaha.

I already had a look at that layered approach before and it’s intriguing, but I’m afraid it could be a bit much for a newbie … the same is true for the Demons of Magick methods I was planning to use, I’m not sure if I can pull that off properly yet. Do you have any suggestions for an easier approach?