Beelzebub Working Journal (Finished)

This will essentially be as the title suggests. With the three weeks of free time I now have, I figured diving deeper in my work with Beelzebub would be a good way to spend it. I will be conducting daily meditations using my mala beads, repeating my Sacrament of Blood ritual I have shared in previous journals, and pretty much allowing Beelzebub control on where this goes. This journal will serve as a record of any experiences of interest that arises during this time until it feels it has came to an end. Enjoy.

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For the first entry, I will start with some notes from last night session. Keep in mind that this is not my first time working with Beelzebub, but it is the first I am working exclusively with him,

I decided to keep the ritual simple. I sat in front of my working altar before the idol of Beelzebub I created out of a simple piece of red granite, lighting one candle and burned a stick of Opium incense. There was no other lighting in the room. I sat down quietly for about five minutes, watching the flame burn and breathing deeply. Taking my mala, I began to chant Beelzebub’s name, welcoming him into my space. Around the thirtieth repetition, my voice began to shift into more…throat singing (for the lack of a better term) and I felt him wrapping around me. As I progressed, the presence started to tighten around me, blurring the lines between what was me and what was him. The trance deepened as I chanted, as the light from the candle seemed to become less noticeable. Gradually, the trance lifted a bit as I near the 108th repetition.

By the end of it, I started to talk to him about what I was looking for with working with him (mainly power and knowledge, along a few personal things). When asked what he wants in return, he said “trust”. I agreed and stuck my hand out, which lead to a feeling of pressure as if someone was shaking it. I proceeded with the Sacrament of Blood ritual and concluded the working.

Overall, a pleasant experience that is powerful in its own way.

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Beelzebub Loose Incense Blend

This I came up with in a past ritual for Beelzebub where I created the idol to be placed on my working altar.

1/2 part Aloeswood
1/2 part Sweet Myrrh
1/2 part Benzoin
A pinch of valerian root

Due to the high resin content, this does need to stay loose as it will not burn well as a cone or stick. This is a fairly deep, “cold” scent with a slight spice note from the Benzoin. It does have a slight decay smell from the valerian root, which is why you do not need a lot of it, but it adds to the intoxication quality for working with him. Great for trance work.

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Beelzebub and the Darkness Challenge

Okay, so a few nights ago, I had a dream of Beelzebub pointing at the symbol of the Philosopher’s stone. This is an old alchemical symbol that illustrates the four stages to its creation by each of the geometric shapes included in it. The very first symbol represents the stage Nigerdo. At this stage, the Prima Materia (the base material or lead as it is commonly known as) is broken down by a process of boiling, which serves the same purpose of decomposition. Anyone who has cooked knows that when you bowl something down, you are slowly destroying bonds that hold the ingredients together in their raw form into another that is not only digestible but releases flavors. In a more psychological perspective, we are breaking down the complex construct we call the self into smaller parts that can be examined, whether they are things we like about ourselves or not. Shadow working would fit within this first stage.

So, assuming that Beelzebub was directing me to go through the process of the Great Work, I was left unsure how to begin. I have down shadow work in the past, as well as shadow merging, but there has always been the sense of separation from the two. So, I decided to try out a ritual written by another magician that popped up when dwelling on the idea on the forum. That ritual was @C.Kendall The Challenge of Darkness.

Now, I am not going to rewrite the whole thing, so if you would like to know more about it, please check out the link. Instead, I will be sharing notes from the experience.

Normally, I would have broken this challenge up into seven days of smaller rituals…but I decided to push myself by doing all seven in one go. I began by evoking Beelzebub to bear witness to the initation into darkness and to open his gate during it. He came as a mass of shadows standing in the corner of the room, watching.

In order to complete all seven in one go, there had to be alteration to the format. Instead of constantly reopening the sigil and calling the darkness to descend, it was a gradual deepening into the current. Challenge 1-4 served that purpose, which lead to both the gradual loss of sense of my surroundings and the candles (which were new) beginning to dim. By challenge 5, the visions started to arise.

During that challenge, where the Pentagram served as a gate to the Eternal Darkness, a winged serpent emerged out of it, with scales of obsidian and a hard stare of a human skull. I could feel it pierce into my soul. As I progressed into challenge 6, this winged serpent breath the darkness into each chakra as I blackened them. When we got to the root, I saw twin black serpents rise and wrap around each chakra, climbing the pillar all the way up and beyond the crown.

At challenge 7, the candles were nearly extinguished by the time I blew them out. As I made the declaration of not only being part of the darkness but being it inself, I saw my body shift into the winged serpent and the two black snakes that emerged from my chakras fusing into two additional heads, solidifying the change into my very being. I had a sense that this will never be able to be undone and was complete.

I shifted my attention to Beelzebub, who I felt a sense of approval from. I thanked him for being present and dismissed him.

Now, I did not destroy the Pentagram that served as a gate for the darkness, but slept with it under my pillow, as it felt appropriate. My dreams were quite dark, involving laying in a snake pit being covered by black snakes crawling over me. They did not harm me, but I could sense them feeding me their essence to strengthen me. I do feel a bit out there today but definitely stronger and more at peace, ironically. I will be continuing mediation to further drive this working into the Nigerdo process. Not sure where exactly it will lead me, but that is part of pathworking in the end.

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Pact Making: Preparation work

I have decided it is time to make a pact with Beelzebub. I am particularly interested in two things: the power to break down all forms of catastrophes/obstacles into something I can use to my own advantage and knowledge to progress into my own ascension. I really sat down and thought this out before deciding to continue, as well as what I am not willing to put on the table in exchange for it. After completing that stage, I went into evocation and called Beelzebub up to talk about it. The smoke from the incense parted in a way as if a face was going through it, looking me dead in the eye. This is the conversation.

Me: Hello, Beelzebub. I have called you to discuss making a pact with you. Are you interested?

Him: Go on.

Me: I desire the power to break down all the obstacles and bumps in life into raw potential. I never want to feel burdened by things going wrong again. I also desire knowledge and steps to further my path of ascension to fulfill my long term goal.

Him: I can do that, but there is more I can teach as well, including the destruction of fear that cripples you when you are in charge.

Me: That would be interesting as well. What would you want in exchange?

Him: Mark your body to remind you of the pact, and tsavah (hebrew word for " to take charge"). Continuing to bleed on my idol as well.

Me: Marking my body permanently will be difficult until the pandemic has passed. Would that be something you would be willing to wait on?

Him: yes.

Me: How long would you be willing to be tied to a pact?

Him: depends on how long you are willing it to be.

Me: Would a 90 pact be satisfying for now until we decide whether or not we continue?

Him: yes.

Me: What is with the ritual of Mot you keep hinting at? What is it’s purpose?

Him: All kings rise from death, and eventually fall into its jaws once more. To rise, you must descend again and come back. You’ve been held back by former bonds. It is time to release them for good.

Me: I see, thank you Beelzebub. Is there anything else I need to know?

Him: You’ve been at this too long to continue doubting yourself. Put aside childish things, and rise.

Me: Thank you, Beelzebub. I will write out a draft and present it with you later. Goodbye for now.

Upon dismissal and the closing of my usual gates, the smoke from all three candles appeared to be “sucked” into the incense smoke in the center of the triangle, making a temporary pyramid shape. I will now have to draw out a pact based on what I have received from this ritual and present it to him in another evocation before dealing the pact as a done deal.

I will also have to meditate further for details on the Mot ritual he has mentioned

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Beelzebub Oil

This is an experiment for me, as I usually stick to incense and powders, so keep that in mind. The oil is intended be used to anoint objects to infuse some of Beelzebub’s essence into it. Due to the fact I only had the ingredients available in a powdered form, I cannot recommend wearing this oil personally. If you are going to do that, be sure to test on a small part of your skin to see if you get any reaction to it. This was made to anoint candles and the pact to an upcoming ritual.

Ingredients:

Beelzebub incense (see above, preferably in whole form, not powdered)
Olive oil
Arabic gum or a few drops of a strong alcohol such as everclear (help with preservation)

Place all the dry ingredients into the bottom of the bottle and fill with oil. Store away from sunlight for a few weeks or until ready to use, giving it a shake a few times a day. I actually chanted Beelzebub’s name and was gazing at his sigil, visualizing energy flowing from the sigil into the oil. The end product for me has been a very, very dark oil but that could be due to the ingredients being powdered.

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Written Pact Making: Rough Draft tips

While writing my rough draft for the upcoming pact, I decided to share some things I was doing that may come in handy for anyone interested in making a pact. Keep in mind these are suggestions that help me out, not any sort if requirement.

1.) Isolate yourself while writing it out. You are essentially writing out a contract that you will be expected to uphold on your end of it. It is something that you need to pay attention to, so eliminating other distractions while you work will help with your focus overall. If you write a schedule for yourself for the next day, set aside an hour or so specifically for this.

2.) Mediate for a bit before writing. This will help to calm you down and keep you centered as you work. I actually like to perform LBRP or smudge myself before I write anything to get myself back into center. This allows me not to be overwhelmed by other things I need to get done throughout the day.

3.) Open any sigils to the spirit you are making a pact with before you work on the rough draft. I have Beelzebub’s sigil on my wall currently as well as a vessel I have created for him on my working altar, so I gave both a bit of blood and the oil I made before beginning. I also spent some time chanting Beelzebub to establish the connection and welcome his presence in my space. This was not meant to be a full evocation, but more or less giving the spirit permission to chime in to any adjustments as I was writing.

4.) Be open to changes. Pay attention to your senses as you write, as somethings may come up as you write. Perhaps part of the bargain that you thought you could uphold in the previous evocation starts to feel like something you cannot. This is where tip 3 comes in handy as you have already welcomed the spirit to the space and can discuss alternatives, depending on how your senses are developed. Or a spirit can full out point out that you are not asking enough, as Beelzebub did for me.

5.) Remember this is a rough draft. Don’t worry about your writing being perfect. It is the intention and willingness to follow through that matters. Like other rough drafts, things may end up getting tweaked if not straight up eliminated anyways. Hence why it is a rough draft.

6.) When you are done, put it away, dismiss the spirit, and do something else. By doing that, when you go back to reread the rough draft, you will have fresher eyes to notice anything else you may want to tweak. You can then do some form of divination or another evocation where you go over your proofread rough draft to ensure both parties agree to it prior to writing the final draft for the actual ritual.

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Ritual: Pact with Beelzebub

After revising the draft, I was ready for the actual ritual.
My altar set up was very straight forward: I had the vessel I created for Beelzebub, three candles in the shape of a triangle, my censer in the center of the triangle, a burn bowl, the written pact, the oil I made, and some lancets. After turning off all the lights, I sat before the altar with my mala beads and took some time to relax my body, becoming one with the darkness of the night. I performed the Lesser Banishment Ritual of the Pentagram to clear the space and get my mind focused on the task at hand. Afterwards, I clapped my hands three times, lit the charcoal disk in the censer, and declared the ritual to begin.

I began by chanting Beelzebub’s name 108 times in the dark, vibrating each time. I paced myself slowly to really feel the energy build and fill the space with my voice. The temperature seemed to grow as I swayed during the chanting, allowing myself to get lost in the trance. I held myself just enough to complete the chant as his presence filled the space.

I lit the candles and declared the gate of fire opened to those I call upon (as well as to burn those who try to invade the ritual, aka impostures). I opened the gate of smoke as i threw incense onto the lit charcoal disk, declaring it to become the bodies of those I call. With the Lancet, I bled onto the coal, declaring the gate of blood opened to give power to those I call. I called upon Beelzebub to rise with his legions, welcoming them into my temple to bear witness to the pact. Beelzebub manifested as his usual cloaked shadow form as he does for me, standing in front of thousands like him.

Welcoming them, I stated my purpose to call upon them and began to read the pact outloud. In exchange for the knowledge to find opportunities in any situation, the secrets of his gate (as well as any other he deems essential for ascension), and the power to command legions, I agreed to mark my body as a reminder of the pact and to give weekly offerings of blood on his vessel. This pact is set to last for 90 days, at which will be reevaluated at the end to see if both parties which to continue to work together.

I asked him if he agreed, which led to a very strong yes. Agreeing myself, I signed the pact and asked Beelzebub to as well. A vision of letter appeared as I looked down on the page, which I traced with my pen and, using another Lancet, bled on the pages, sealing the pact with my blood. I folded the pact and set it ablaze, sending it to Beelzebub and his legion and declaring the bargain has been made. For a third and final time, I bled onto his vessel to mark the first week of my end of the bargain, and put some oil onto it as well. I thanked all for coming forth and dismissed them. I closed the gates, putting out the coal and the candles. Clapping three times, I declared the ritual over.

Currently, I am feeling exhausted and have quite a bit of pressure on my forehead. It is obviously too soon to say the results, but the evocation went well and the pact was approved. Tomorrow will begin the more intense working, starting with the death ritual he has been hinting at.

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Ritual: Into the Jaws of Mot

Okay, so I had to take a few days to recover and let the effects of the ritual really sink in. I originally had a laundry list of ingredients I would be gathering to perform this ritual. However, I realized that this list of frankly unnecessary things was my way of avoiding performing the ritual due to an underlying fear. This is unusual because I had been literally buried in a previous death ritual and have worked with death spirits for years. So the idea of dying does not scare me, but there was something to this ritual I knew would be the point of no return for me. I threw away the preparations i had made and jumped into the ritual.

To begin, I made a infusion of some herbs I had on hand that I use for medicine. They were Yarrow (also known as the Death flower) and Valerian root. These two plants together can create a very off feeling and create a very bitter drink (looking back on it now, it could symbolize the bitterness of losing a loved one). I drank it and proceeded with evoking Beelzebub with my usual method to bear witness to the ritual, using the incense blend I made for him. I anointed my forehead with the oil I made as well.

I stripped down nude and wrapped myself in a blanket much like one would wrap a corpse for burial, laying down on the bed. By this point (the infusion was in my system for about a half an hour), I was experiencing the drowsiness from the valerian root and the sense of being disoriented by the yarrow, as well as the sweating it can induce. I began to chant Mot’s name, welcoming death into my temple. Mot manifested as a massive head of a bearded old man who opened his mouth to me, showing teeth made from jagged rock.

I visualized crawling into his mouth and he clamped down and began to chew. The vision was so lucid that I felt the pressure of being chewed and heard the snap of bones breaking. I was pushed down the throat and into the stomach where I saw bodies of people, animals and plants, decaying in the fluids. I fell into the depths of decay, seeing my own body decay into a broken skeleton as I sank into the depths. Eventually, I was ontop of bodies with of various states of decomposition. Slowly, the bodies moved and flashes of the more painful parts of my past came. As the memories ended, the body that touched it infused onto my skeleton, becoming new flesh. This occurred one by one until a new body was created, built from all the realities I have ended and the lives (in the case of plants and animals) I have consumed to live. I began to climb out of the stew and up the throat, out of the mouth of Mot. Exhausted and shaking, I saw Beelzebub in his cloaked form he usually presented himself.

Beelzebub: “From death, you arise. The bonds of the past cannot rule over you, as they are a part of you. Every moment of pain, anger, joy, sorrow and worry is fuel for your ambitions, not a spear in your side. Nothing remains as it is forever, but breaks down into something else entirely. Enjoy things in the moment, but do not forget to allow them into fertilizer to grow tomorrow’s gardens.”

He then lowered the hood and revealed a face for me to see. I will not put into detail what he looked like as I find that was a very personal moment and is more meant for me than something to get into detail with.

After that I thanked and dismissed him. The rest of the day and the next were marked with some tremors in my hands and general on edge behavior on my half. However, with that passing, I do have a deeper sense of peace after things have settled. I am looking forward to the next Beelzebub working.

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Wow. You have really dedicated yourself to this whole process. I am very impressed C. Wilson. It seems as if your efforts have paid off as well! I must admit that I literally gasped and said OMG (out loud) when I read that you climed into his mouth full of jagged rock-like teeth and he began to chew. :scream: :joy::joy:

That is really awsome that you made such a deep and personal connection. This yarrow & valarian root tea mix sounds interesting. I will do a bit more research on that. I will have to get past the rotted smell of the valarian root, but I suppose for death magick it’s perfect. Did you use the valarian for both the seditive qualities and its association with death?

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Yes I did. Keep in mind that I am not a doctor what so ever and am speaking from my own experiences. I definitely recommend researching the herbs before use. Valerian root, while not the best in smell, is generally safer than other sensitive herbs such as skullcap or vervain. Yarrow can be toxic in high dosages, so I would not go more than a spoonful to every 12 fluid ounces of hot water. Be sure to strain the herbs from the brew before drinking it. You could switch it out entirely with mullein leaf, which is generally safer and is also associated with death as it is often used in place of graveyard soil. But please do your own research before handling herbs yourself as you know your own health more. You don’t want a counter effect from medications, allergies, etc.

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Thanks for tips about the dosages. :+1:
Well I don’t currently do any kind of death magick or necromancy. I do mostly conjure and evo & invo cation. Usually I burn herbs and inhale during my rituals. I have not tried any kind of drinkable infusions yet; but I do know about a lot of herbs and that they have multiple uses. This yarrow valerian root mix can still be used for general trance-like evocation, correct?

It could, but i probably could use a weaker infusion of valerian by itself for general trance. The yarrow was mainly used to cause sweating (to purposely cause controlled dehydration) and connect to its association with death, The trick is to get yourself relaxed enough to induce trance so you will likely need to experiment with the dosage, starting small and gradually growing, to see where that sweet spot lies. Too small of a dosage will not cause the relaxation and too high will cause you to fall asleep.

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Now that you mention it, I def have to do a bit more reasearch to find some good combinations for teas/infusions. And I totally understand about the valarian; I’ve taken it off and on, since I was a kid, to help me sleep.

Btw do you think/know if script meds would work in the same way? I take Klonapin, as needed, and that stuff usually puts me out but it can get me pretty loosy goosy. I just have no idea if anyone uses it for ritualistic work. Oh! I just had a thought. :bulb: This may sound silly but I drink sleepytime tea (notice a pattern? lol) and it doesn’t alway put me down. Sometimes it just makes me REALLY relaxed. I think I will try this… :thinking:

Thanks for your knowledge man.

I cannot really say one way or another as far as prescription medicine goes. I am not a doctor and do not want to say anything that could potentially put others in danger, so I would say if you are already prescribed it (which in this case you are in this case for a medical reason), I would experiment with meditation and trend lightly. If one is not prescribed it, I wouldn’t for the sake of one’s safety as they are highly concentrated compounds.

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Oh I totally agree. I do have a legal prescription for it. I would never advise anyone to experiment with any drugs, even legal drugs w/o a script. I just wasn’t sure if you’ve tried or heard of other people with scripts who may have tried it.

But I’m definitely gonna go ahead and try the sleepytime tea. It has camomile plus some other herbs. I’ll probable take a valarian capsule as well.

You have given me a lot to ponder. Continue to have excellent luck with your Beelzebub work. :grin:

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incredible journal, charles!

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Ritual: Burning the Past and Changing up Evocation method

I covered my method of evocation multiple times in my journals so I will be skipping over the elements that have stayed the same. However, there are a few things that I have changed that are worth mentioning. Instead of opening the gate of blood last to give the spirits strength to rise, I decided to open it at the beginning. I also changed the finger I extracted the blood. Instead of using my index finger (with the intention of directing the energy), i used fleshy pad of my ring finger to not only cause pain to add energy to the working, but to bleed more. I used the blood to anoint the candles to form the triangle of manifestation and to sprinkle on the altar table. I further drip a bit of my void water (water I consecrated on a full moon when the clouds blocked out the moonlight) onto the space to add more of that “off” energy. Finally, upon lighting the candles, I visualized each fire creating a pillar of red light to form a tetrahedron in the air that the smoke would drift into. This was also to add power to the evocation and to serve as an additional gate. The end result of this was a more clear visualization and a more stable presence of Beelzebub.

The following ritual was based on something Beelzebub had told me in mediation: “You have gained many bonds in this life. Some have helped you grow, but many have sapped your strength, even after they have left. It is time to remove the broken stones and build your fountain.” Taking that advice, I decided to do something similiar to the cauldron spell EA had shown in one of his videos. Since I do not currently have the Compendium of Beelzebub, I had to figure things out on my own. After evoking Beelzebub to watch, I grabbed a stack of index cards. I began to write the names of everyone in my past i have had a relationship with that no longer serves me or have played a part in some of the more painful aspects of my past, beginning with my parents (nasty divorce that lead to many lies and feelings of lack of worth in my early childhood). After writing the name, I visualize the person in front of me and a chain of light between me and that individual. Outloud I declared what has been done, how I felt, and that I am taking back the energy I wasted. A set the paper ablaze and as it burned, watched the chain break and all the energy I put into them, rushing out of the fire and being absorbed in my center.

I did this with past friends, past enemies, past lovers, past jobs, and events, one by one. I did not hold back in the emotions or memories, letting them all be present. This was not an act of forgiveness, more of acceptance and reaping back all I wasted. Finally, I wrote my own name, the one who has done the most harm to myself and reabsorbed all the energy. The end result was both feeling raw but powerful.

I ended the ritual with another Sacrement of Blood ritual with Beelzebub before dismissing him and closing the gates.

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Ritual: Liberation of Tongue and Hand

For a number of years now, I have been trying to write a book. However, when I get started, something in me always puts an end to it. I get writer’s block, I question my writing method, even the intention of why I am writing. This weight echos into many different things, including these journals. I often question my own salt when it comes to the occult, even as my rituals often bring the results I desire. Compared to some of the giants in the occult writing world, I often feel quite humble with my own work.

This echos into my life outside of the occult. I often hold back things I have to say as I wonder if they are in my place to. This ends up in conflicts that could have been avoided if I had spoken up. My empire will quickly fall into ruin before it has even began if the problem was not resolved. So, on Walpurgis night, I went through with this ritual to address it with the help of Beelzebub and Asmodeus.

(A quick note on why Asmodeus. While Asmodeus does have his sexual and wrath aspects, he has also has shown his obsession for knowledge. He has helped in the past for rituals that strive for wisdom for problems that require a unconventional soultion. His presences often sets my own obsession for knowledge ablaze and encourages my urge to write)

The ritual is a mixture of multiple different forms of magic that I have learned over the years (we have blood magic, evocation, a bit of folk magic from the use of honey, and the use of a Norse rune). Since I used the same evocation method, I will not go into detail of what ingredients were used for that nor the method to keep things interesting.

The additional ingredients that were used:

-Local Honey
-My blood harvested from my writing hand with a Lancet
-Incense mixture of Damar and Frankincense
-A spoon

To begin, I evoked both Asmodeus and Beelzebub, stating my purpose to calling them as they appeared. Upon agreement to proceed (as I prefer to give spirits the choice to participate, even if I am close to them), I opened myself up to welcome in the power they were willing to channel. I felt their hands upon my head and my shoulders, feeling the cold from Beelzebub and the heat from Asmodeus to fill into my body, covering from head to toe before blending with my own inner fire and pushing it up to my throat. I visualize it infusing into my vocal cords as I proceed.

I took took my writing hand and pricked my middle finger (as I use it to balance pens as I write) and drew the rune Kenaz onto the spoon. When I was working with the Norse Pantheon, I spent a considerable amount of time working both with runes and Icelandic Staves. Kenaz is the rune associated with both fire and speech, as well as control and directing of tapped power. It is a very strong rune that I have had actually overpower other runes when I tried making bindrunes in the past. Tonight, I decided to use it to burn away my blockage and to harness the power behind my will and blood to project my work.

To bring the rune to live, I held the spoon close to my mouth. Breathing deeply from the diaphragm, I slowly vibrated the word “Kenaz” visualizing the energy I stored in my throat to direct into the rune. I did not stop as I felt my throat began to burn, until the rune flashed and I could see it ablaze in power. I took the honey and poured it over the rune. Holding the spoon over the incense smoke, I declared:

“On this Dark Night, when Witches gathered and weak hearted men hid in fright,I call upon the fire and power of Beelzebub and Asmodeus.On this night of fear, lust, and destruction of what no longer serves,I enchant this nectar of the immortal, who never knows time’s bite. Carry this rune of fire and glory and burn away all that holds me back. Let my words bleed onto my mediums and echo into the vastness of eternity. As I spoke, so it is.”

I then ate the honey, visualizing the rune and all the energy from myself, Beelzebub and Asmodeus to travel down my throat, burning down walls built within that holds back from achieving my goals. I spent time just being, allowing the energy to fill me to the brim, becoming part of me. I then thanked Beelzebub and Asmodeus, dismissing them. I closed all the gates and finished the ritual.

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Beelzebub Invocation

I know it has been awhile since I have written in this journal. I have had things come in life that occupied my focus. I was planning on a bigger ritual but another working felt more pressing last night. So I proceeded with this simpler ritual as I had questions for Beelzebub. After grounding from the previous working, I performed a more zen style mediation, focusing gently on the incense smoke as I pay attention to my body breathing. I allowed feeling my heart beat slow as I calmed myself to be the trigger for the trance state. When I was ready, I chanted Beelzebub’s name slowly, feeling the vibrations in my throat. I kept going under I felt his familiar presence wrap around my body like a warm cloak. I welcomed him into my mind and heart so we may speak.

The first part is unimportant as it involves me apologizing for my absence and explained what was going on in my life. While he forgave me, he did lecture me on how I need to make time for things I consider important instead of putting on the lie that busyness is being productive.

Him: So, why have you really called me?

Me: I have an uncomfortable question. Everywhere I once considered having a sense of home has been destroyed by wildfire and a collasping dam. While a part of believes it is coincidental, another part is in pain and wonders if there is more to it.

Him: The event themselves have nothing to do with you. All that is born or created eventually must end. You are not that important. However, the fact you noticed is meaningful. What is it telling you?

Me: I am not sure.

Him: Why would a general possibly burn spare supplies if he fears his troops would fleed?

Me: So they would have no choice but to keep going further.

Him: Exactly. As a child, did you not want to “return home”? Wasn’t the past that home?

Me: …Yes. I guess noticing reinforced the idea that there is no way but forward for me.

Him: Yes. You have had to suffer to learn how to walk the walk of what you speak.

Me: Thank you. As you know, I am currently working with the four horseman, but I am unable to identify what they are, spirit wise. They have shown expanded knowledge that would suggest they are not thoughtforms but I cannot really pinpoint what they are. Do you have an ideas?

Him: The Horseman are a lie. They are a lie just as much as the form you see me in is a lie, as well as any other spirit. They are as much of a lie as your form is to others, as well as to yourself. They are not beings of the infernal or celestial. They are not gods, nor wild ones. They are of their current that far predates your species. They are change.

Me: So, would you have any advise to how to better access them?

Him: You will have to stop thinking as a human. They are what they are, and human they are not. You will have to temporarily drop compassion and emotion, although not get lost in the current.

Me: I take it this is a walking on the razor’s edge scenario.

Him: -laughs- you wouldn’t be interested if it wasn’t. You are bold, but not foolish. Trend carefully and you find what you seek.

Me: Thank you Beelzebub, is there anything else you need me to know?

Him: You kept asking me how to become a king. I cannot help you become what you already are, you just need to evaluate the risks and make decisions on your own. Remember why you do the things you do. Never forget your goals and purpose. Finally, stop lying to yourself when things get tough that you are alone. You do not know the armies you have gained in your time here. Remember that.

And with that, he left.

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