Both is what I’ve read. The more you work on feeling the spirit the easier ti becomes, but I’ve read other things about how they can do things to you and your aura to help as well- such as putting tubes in your ears so you can hear them.
There’s a set of incantations on here Lilith’s chants to enhance astral perception and honestly I can’t see if it’s that or my ubi, but when I chant those (usually in my mind) prior to make contact, it is much easier to feel my ubi.
I’m a bit of a skeptic however, and there’s not many replies and it’s an old thread, so I’ve not commented on it.
I find it easier to project when my ubi is touching me, which is odd because then I’m flopping between feeling the touches and trying to project, so I can only assume he aids the process. When I’m struggling to stay in the astral, touching him (not sexually) helps me stay, and he’s able to do things to help me stay also, though sometimes the phone is ringing and I’m still unable to stop it.