A question

[Lady_Eva]

The short version is this, I was looking for a more concise site:

Here’s more – the acetic acid that is produced as a metabolite of ethanol consumption is a highly preferred source of fuel for the brain. Many alcoholics will actually experience the ‘coming to life’ of many brain cells while drinking, as the insulin resistant cells can no longer absorb glucose, and have resorted to acetic acid as their lifeline. As ketones have the same ability, coconut oil is currently being studied as an extremely promising cure to alcoholism.

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Vinegar tends to come in bottles that some people can find triggering, although pickles may look and feel safer, but coconut oil is a completely different look, feel, taste etc., so maybe giving it a try will be helpful.

@Painon

I’m going through a fair bit at the moment. If ever you have the time and inclination I’d be willing to speak on it with you as you seem to be extremely understanding.

I’m more solution-oriented most of the time than a “good listener” who makes sympathetic noises, but yes, if you want to PM me, you’re welcome to do so.

I find judgement of addiction farcical, all people given these substances past a certain point (which varies slightly by individual, but not by much) WILL become addicted, and undergo specific changes to their actions and thought processes in trying to meet what, in that moment, especially when stressed, feels very like a life-or-death need.

But of course, it’s not, it’s actually trying to kill you, and in a really ugly way that will likely revolve around dying in a hospital, craving the stuff until your dying breath. So, don’t go there.

Getting some solid new habits, and things to fill that gap will help.

This was my old post about my own experiences, again forgive me for not recalling if I linked you this: Magick and booze - #4 by Lady_Eva

Why I think magicians often get addicted:

@Lady_Eva

My best guess based on personal experience of alcohol abuse and observation of people around me (offline life, not internet) is some combination of these:

• need to feel in control, to a moderately insane degree, combined with fascination with the feeling of being overwhelmed by an intense state of being that feels under our control

• pursuit of the generally weird, shunned, and “dark” things of life

• the laser-like focus you can attain when your mind and some substance are acting in harmony, and with lesser concerns and nagging psychological and physical pain eliminated

• magicians’ typical love of the feeling of power and ecstatic bliss, which comes at the crest of the high, and the ability to switch mindsets and control internal environment using drugs, drink, etc

• we genuinely think we can handle things “normies” run away from in fear, so why not dive deep into this stuff, we’re Special dammit!

• the utter refusal to take society’s word on what’s best for us that has us summoning demons is applied to cautions about drinking too much, or using drugs

• having other factors that statistically tend people towards substance use, such as dysfunctional childhoods, a feeling of alienation from the everyday world, depression, depersonalisation, derealisation, and so on, some of which are made stronger and more unbearable by magick.

All the things that make us good at magick are also things that make the call of drugs, excessive drinking, excess in any form, appeal to us.

Forgot to add, along with control-freakery, we tend to have a lot of impatience, unrealistic demands on ourselves and the world (and people) around us, and perfectionism, these are all things that tend to go with regular alteration of brain chemistry through drink, drugs, or weird sex.

It’s not IMO that we can’t handle the magick, it’s that we don’t like “reality,” so we find ways to change it, and some are faster and simpler than others.

And finally this:

@Lady_Eva

It’s tough, but the skills you acquire now may save your ass at some point further down the line, I found nothing I ever learned (factual or experiential) was wasted, that very much includes skills learned turning down the nagging whine of the addiction over, and over, and over, again.